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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Art Devoid'

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Wish (2023) Bites

I tried watching through the eyes of a child and it confused me. What do you mean that man has my wish. I made ten wishes yesterday and two came true. I don't even remember that one wish everybody's talking about. Fuck it. It's only one. The film has Ariana DeBose energy and a Barbie stance. DeBose is so excited to show us what she's got that she faux climaxes before she has to. Some of the songs actually sounded musical. Pine's Shatner was so good that it stunk. The last man with a working penis is stealing little girl dreams. (None of the dreams were to marry a man to save them?) The women and some of their friends band together to destroy him. Some of the friends consisted of weak or mentally disabled boys and feeble grandfathers with no reach. I presume we had to look towards the animals to find culture representation. No gays in sight. Sophia The First looked better than this and brought the magic. One of Disney's junkiest animations. 28-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Animation, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Cheeky Acting, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Grating, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Preachy, Predictable, Shrill Act, Silly, Trashy, Vague, Weird, Writer Humiliation

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28-Apr-2024


Ricky Stanicky (2024) No Moons

It doesn't get worst than this. There were only two funny bits, the drowning dog and the girl's hair. 08-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Disappointment, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Over the Top, Relationships, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Writer Humiliation

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08-Mar-2024


Five Nights At Freddys (2023) Bites

It was difficult to establish how the animatronics were killing people. They never showed it. It was directed for wimps who are scared of horror movies. The reason for living animatronics is an overused one. They couldn't be aliens? How the fuck did that animatronic get in the car? They do not bend easily. How many times did we have to relive Josh's memories? We got it the first time. 07-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Cliche, Depressing, Director Slouch, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Horror, Horror Mild, Oncer, Predictable, Preposterous, Silly, Tacky

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07-Mar-2024


John Wick 4 (2023) WhimperEarly Exit

Somewhere along the way, I became disinterested. 03-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Brutal, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Early Exit, Repetitive, Tedium, Violent

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03-Mar-2024


Blue Beetle (2023) Bites

The pace had no time to set-up character appreciation, it had a billion particles to settle. The family dynamic was food, drink, celebration and insanity. George Lopez added comedy schtick to his act. He looked like a character booted from Bedrock because he was too loud and ornery. The breast queen should be playing Lady MacBeth not becoming a free TV actor. I can see her washing blood from her hands and implementing Elvira's cleavage cut. The rest of the family and the leads apply stereotypes without explaining them. There is no such thing as a stereotype because it's only a description of our heritage. Universal speak. Nobody passed the classic TV Q test and the silliness hardly stopped. The best of the mythology turned into a fiesta. The family went everywhere together. Really? When did they masturbate? Why did the family get superpowers? Beetle's nemesis was a bigger and badder version of himself. Couldn't we have gotten something a little different? If the production wanted to fill the female quota, why didn't they concoct some awesome female villains? He has lots and no villain is scarier than a latin woman scorned. She'll slash your tires. 27-Nov-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comedy, Cultural, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Revenge, Sap, Shrill Act, Timid, Trashy, TV-like, Vague, Weird

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27-Nov-2023


Flash, The (2023) Arf

It failed when the lead's true identity was revealed. Michael Keaton's Batman was a CGI hillbilly that bored us to death. We can't accept a punk rock Supergirl until we tire of blondes. Fortune will come as soon as the audience forgets who these fuckers were. 29-Sep-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Cheeky Acting, Director Movement, Enthusiastic, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Thriller, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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29-Sep-2023


80 For Brady (2023) Bites

How elderly women become empowered by idolizing a hot man's physical accomplishment. Wow, maybe football really is gay. 26-Jul-2023

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Comedy, Corn, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Fatigue, Repetitive, Silly, Star Watt, Writer Humiliation

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26-Jul-2023


F4: Rise Of The Silver Surfer (2007) Whimper

I'm not sure but I think they neutered the Silver Surfer. I remember having seen the film during it's time and I noticed one. I don't forget crotches. The whole feels cheaper. Johnny lost his appeal and became vapid. Sue Storm continued to be listless and unheroic with a crappy blonde wig. Kerry Washington's blind brick lover was under-appreciated. The Thing was sort of plastic. Mr. Fantastic's powers were mostly comic relief and unbelievable. When Torch gains extra powers, it's fun but when "you know who" returns as Dr. Doom all is gloom. Galactus was a no-show because nobody knew how to incorporate a bigger thing than god into the real world. Really? A Galactus that was bigger than Thanos sitting on a throne commanding his slave, Silver Surfer, to destroy so he could feed, is brilliant. 17-Jul-2023

Tags: 2000s, Action, Art Devoid, Cheeky Acting, Crapfun, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Good Idea, Over the Top, Physical Humor, SciFi, Timid, Timid Effects, Writ w/Possibilities

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17-Jul-2023


Evil Dead Rise (2023) No MoonsEarly Exit

Dickless entry in the Evil Dead series. I fell asleep midway through but saw enough of it not to regret it. 16-Jul-2023

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Brutal, Depressing, Director Hands Off Approach, Disappointment, Drama, Early Exit, Repetitive, Retread, Slow, Tacky, Timid, Vague

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16-Jul-2023


Run Rabbit Run (2023) Whimper

I was in as soon as I witnessed Shiv being sarcastic to a saucy child. I was out when the mystery couldn't sustain itself and it lavished us with endless finales. It wouldn't end. After the first finale, the predictions come quick, the heart slows and wtf? It's a long way around to prove mother is an asshole. 02-Jul-2023

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Depressing, Director Slouch, Drama, Horror Mild, Star Watt, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

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02-Jul-2023


Shazam! Fury Of The Gods (2023) Bites

A Saturday morning kiddie show that plays after the popular ones have aired and kids watch whilst having lunch. It can't shake off the silliness so it embraced it. Bad mistake. It only works if it's funny. Some of the writers asked their children what they would like to see and the parents yucked it up. Elegant ladies of maturity shouldn't have to wear clunky armor especially if they're witches. The villains are not much of a threat. They just need more "home" visits from the family. Why did they pile on so much ick hair and clothing on Hinsou's god? Zachary Levi. His solution when discomfited is to make a face or a nine year's old gesture. His younger alter ego is a teenager on his way to becoming a man. They work as separate units but not as a whole. They copy nothing from each other. Billy's best friend's storyline had the emotional heft that Shazam's didn't. It doesn't even take us on a fantastical journey. It was a scenic bus ride to Walmart. 07-Jun-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Grating, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Preposterous, Repetitive, SciFi, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Wit Crack

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07-Jun-2023


Big Daddy (1999) Arf

Asinine logistics applied to fatherdom for laughs and guffaws. Its savior is not logic but cuteness. You can cuddle with any of these people except the Russian character. 05-Apr-2023

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Predictable, Relationships, Stupid Funny, Trashy, Words Spoke

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05-Apr-2023


Smile (2022) Whimper

If you want your black fiancee to dump you, seek comfort with your adorable ex whose a cop and explain to him that you are not mentally ill but cursed. Parker Posey and Hillary Swank's niece pants as much as she talks in the role of a useless psychoanalyst. It avoids the psychic explanation but grants us a hooey mythology. The smile is irrelevant. It's a wink to Joker's laugh gas. The kid's party had me rolling, the mother turning into a drag queen was unexpected but the juju was preposterous. 24-Feb-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Cliche, Coincidence Laden, Daddy Squish, Fatigue, Horror, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Timid, Weird

Permalink

24-Feb-2023


Jeepers Creepers Reborn (2022) Bites

An abortion would have served it right. Black men are not fanatical about visiting voodoo stores and doing horror cosplay. It brings bad mojo. He would have shat his pants. Is anyone aware that the Creeper is a sexual deviant that kills teenage girls and devours soft boys? He wouldn't give two shits about a girl, especially an old one. A pervert with a penchant for boys made him, the Creeper should be illustrated as such. 03-Feb-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Cold, Dialogue Lament, Director Hands Off Approach, Drama, Music Murders, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Timid, Timid Effects

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03-Feb-2023


Screaming Skull, The (1958) Arf

Rich woman with psychological problems marries a dried up coochie player in the hopes of finding normalcy and family. Daddy coochie gaslights because he thinks she is incapable of the truth and doesn't want to cause her more anxiety. Her parents drowned because she couldn't save them. Her latest coochie grabber's ex-wife may be haunting her new home. Daddy leaves her home alone a lot. I saw a crappy colorized version that hinted how nice it would have been in color if you separated it by seconds. Marriage is entrapment and not a contract. The only way to prove to yourself that you are not psychologically impaired is to marry. Your partner will legally let you know what's wrong with you. 23-Jan-2023

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Camp, Cliche, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, False Action, Horror Mild, Preposterous, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Trashy, Words Spoke

Permalink

23-Jan-2023




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