Dear How to Do It,

My boyfriend of just under a year, “Tom” is pansexual, which has never been a problem (I’m a straight woman, FYI). However, the night we met he told me that he had recently hooked up with a straight male friend, “Brandon,” and then been rejected, and this situation in particular is an issue. It is obvious that Tom has a huge crush on Brandon. Tom has said on a few occasions that he was ready to come out to his religious parents for Brandon and was hoping to be his boyfriend, but Brandon told him that the sex was a one-time thing and asked him not to tell anyone (a request which he obviously did not honor). Instead of backing off, Tom will text Brandon to join our group at any outing unless I expressly ask him not to by saying that I would like tonight to be just us, or that our friends have invited only us out. When Tom does invite Brandon places, Brandon often does not respond or responds hours later vaguely. Once, Tom said that he wanted to use my phone to call Brandon because he thought he’d actually get him to pick up by using a number not his own that Brandon didn’t recognize. If we pass a bar that Brandon is known to frequent regularly, Tom likes to stop in to see if he’s there, and will want to hang out if Brandon is there. He also repeatedly violates Brandon’s request to keep their hook up under wraps. He’s told many people, not just me. The one time he did get Brandon to hang out, Tom pissed me off by staying out hours after he told me he was coming back, letting his phone die so that I couldn’t reach him, and then waking me up at 3:30 in the morning to let him in because he didn’t have his keys. He’s also lately been floating the idea of Brandon joining us in a threesome, because I have expressed interest in us finding a male partner for one and wants me to spend one on one time with Brandon as a start to getting him home with us. At this point, I think I’m about ready to throw in the towel and let Tom chase this man and implode their friendship unencumbered by a relationship with me. What do you think?

—Brandon Blues

Pastor John Gray is in hot water again after another woman alleging to be his mistress has come forward with shocking testimony about her relationship with the former OWN reality star. The woman in question has video evidence she says if of Pastor Gray complaining about his wife’s shortcomings and more.

News of Pastor Gray’s infidelity first hit the net in 2018. The internet gasped when he gifted his wife, Aventer, a Lamborghini. Rumors about Pastor Gray purchasing the luxury car for his wife because of his cheating ran rampant.

I married a woman two sizes too big. I have to grow into Aventer. She’s a coat. I still can’t fit her. She’s bigger than me and she’s had to cover me while I grow up. I gotta grow into her. She’s a covering, not a lid. Because if a man marries a lid she’ll stop your dream. But if you marrying a covering, she’ll push you to your destiny. Let me tell you something, my wife has endured more pain birthing me than both of our children. She has sacrificed these last eight years, uncovering the painful areas of my manhood and covering the areas that could have exposed me.

A woman says she and Gray were in communication for several months. During that time, she claims the two engaged in conversations sexual in nature and that he went out of his way to try and visit her, including sending her cash payments and inviting her on trips to Cabo during to the pandemic on his private plane.

Well, it’s worked for him!

Howard Stern has weighed in on Ellen DeGeneres’ seeming fall from grace, saying that if he were in the talk show host’s shoes, he would “change [his] whole image.”

“I’d go on the air and be a son of a bitch,” he said Monday on SiriusXM’s “Howard Stern Show.” “People would come on and [I would] go, ‘Fuck you.’ Just be a prick.”

My 14-year-old daughter recently came out of the closet, and it has made my husband and me quite upset. She says she is “bicurious, pansexual and polyamorous.”

She now insists everyone call her by a gender-neutral name, gave herself a side shave and dyed her hair pink after we repeatedly told her not to. She wants us to refer to her as “they” and not “she.”

Boys used to like her, and she used to have friends, but she threw it all away to be “unique.” You may think we should let her be true to herself, but in the process, she is disrespecting us and ruining her image. She thinks she’s all grown up and can do whatever she wants, and I just can’t get through to her.

She is also letting herself go. She used to be in good shape, but she quit track and field because it was a “gender-conforming” sport. She is now getting chubby, looks horrible and is depressed. Help!

Dear Care and Feeding,

Eleven years ago, my husband and I started fostering a sister and brother,“Taylor” and “Martin,” and we adopted them a year later. Our daughter was 5, and our son was an infant, but they are now 16 and 11 and are smart, kind, and mostly well-behaved kids. My husband and I are white, and they are Black, but we’ve done our best to have honest, age-appropriate discussions on race, our privilege, and how messed up the systematic oppression and racism in our country is. I thought we had done an OK job … until yesterday.

Taylor asked us after dinner if she could talk to us in private and showed us screenshots a friend had sent her. Apparently, Martin has been selling “N-word passes” to kids at his middle school for $20-50! It’s been going on for weeks, and he had offered it to Taylor’s friend’s sister, who screenshot it and sent it to Taylor. They go to diverse schools for our area, but there are still a lot of white/non-Black kids there. Taylor told us that kids have been sending Martin money via Venmo, and she thinks he’s made almost $1,000. My husband and I are shocked and angry, and we don’t know what to do. Martin’s actions must have made his fellow Black classmates upset and uncomfortable, and I feel like a horrible mother and person. I thought we did a good job, but we must have done something wrong. We need to give him consequences, but I don’t know how extreme to go. Right now, I’m leaning toward taking away device privileges for a long, long time and confiscating the money. What else can or should we do? How do we confront him about this and apologize and tell other parents?

—Mortified Mom

Fire Island is under fire for violating social distancing guidelines over the July 4 weekend.

Clips and images of hundreds of maskless, shirtless partygoers packed on beaches and in private homes circulated on social media through influencers like journalist Chris Weidner. The posts sparked backlash and calls for more action from law enforcement.

City police have charged a Stamford man, who was caught on video berating a group of young Black and Latino men at Cove Island Park last month, with a hate crime and multiple counts of assault.
Steven Mike Dudek, 57, who police say sprayed four of the men with pepper spray, was videoed shouting at the group and then calling police to report he was being harassed by a “bunch of Black men.”

On Thursday Stamford police charged Dudek with four counts of second-degree assault, first-degree intimidation based on bigotry or bias and falsely reporting an incident to police, according to Stamford Police Capt. Richard Conklin and Lt. Tom Scanlon.

One of the men asks for his name and Dudek replies, “My name is God.”

Chrissie Hynde has slammed scantily-dressed feminists saying ''if you walk around looking like a sex worker you will probably be treated like one''.

An unruly passenger was just sentenced to six months in prison for the sexual assault of a male flight attendant.

The passenger, Gavin Capps, was flying with EasyJet from Manchester, U.K., to Iceland for work this past January, when he attacked the flight attendant.

Related: 4 firemen arrested for attempted sexual assault of a male teenaged volunteer

Capps had three beers on the flight and went to the front of the plane to get more, but he was sent back and told to wait for the in-flight service. When the duty-free trolley came down the aisle, Capps took 400 cigarettes from it and hid them under his seat.

Flight attendants warned him to stop causing trouble, but then he attacked.

Dear Care and Feeding,

My 11-year-old son has been spending a lot of time playing Minecraft with online friends. They talk (I can hear everything they say, mostly silly preteen jokes) and text, and I looked at his chat screen. I read, “Please don’t say anything out loud. My mom doesn’t know I’m gay.”

I asked my kid why he wrote that. He said it was a joke. Then he said his account was hacked. Then he said his best friend is gay. I’m shocked. His dad and I have no problem if he’s gay, and he knows it. Do I give him space? I don’t want to out him (if that’s what’s up), but I hate that he can’t talk to me. My love and feelings for him are not affected at all by whether he’s gay, and I want to respect his privacy. Still, I’m hurt.

—Prying Mom

The woman said she was recently introduced to Stephen’s new boyfriend Adam on a Zoom call, and was shocked when she learned that he is living with HIV.

“My son announced this on the Zoom call (I didn’t have time to process it), and then became irate when I asked some questions to better understand what that means,” she wrote.

“I remember the ’80s, and actually had a close friend die from AIDS,” she continued.

“My son claims I’m being ignorant, but I was alive during that time – he wasn’t!”

I’m not homophobic. I just need some processing time.

Bizarrely, the woman then went on to claim that she is “scared of what will happen if they stay together and have children.”

Dear Prudence,

My partner is the most compassionate, loving, and respectful partner I could ask for. He has supported me through difficult times, weight fluctuations, questioning my gender, changing my name, and sobriety, among other things. I am incredibly attracted to women. He knows this, and we have talked about opening our relationship. However, he is on the spectrum of asexuallity and is only interested in having sex with me. The thought of me having sex with other people makes him deeply uncomfortable, as we both relate to sex in very different ways. We have had this conversation a few times in the year that we have been together, but with no solid plan or outcome. I respect and appreciate our relationship more than my desire to sleep around, but I’m worried that I will be missing something. I’m only 20, and I know that feelings change, but he is an incredible domestic and sexual partner, and I would like to be with him for a long time. Is there a way to figure this out? Or will this core incompatibility be what breaks us apart?

Texas Lt. Gov Dan Patrick doubled down on controversial comments he has made about the coronavirus pandemic, telling Fox News on Monday that Americans had to "take some risks" in reopening the economy.

Patrick was heavily criticized last month after he suggested in an interview with Fox News' Tucker Carlson that he and other senior citizens might be willing to die to save the economy. He stood by his statements in a new interview with Carlson on Monday night, saying, "We are crushing the economy."

"And what I said when I was with you that night, there are more important things than living. And that's saving this country for my children and my grandchildren and saving this country for all of us," Patrick said Monday night.

He went on to say that he didn't want to die but that "we've got to take some risks and get back in the game and get this country back up and running."

Dear How to Do It,

I am a middle-aged gay man who has always been socially awkward and shy. I have struggled my entire life with dating, always diving into a relationship with pretty much anyone who showed any interest in me at all whether I was really attracted or compatible with them or not. This, of course, has not worked out. As I have aged, my self-esteem has deteriorated as well, especially with health issues.

My question is in regard to my workaround. Ever since I was first discovering my attraction to other men in my early teens and 20s, I have actively looked to pay straight men for the chance to have sex with them. What this has usually amounted to was me paying them cash to give them oral sex. It’s not something that I’m proud of, but it has really been the only consistent way that I’ve ever been able to have the sex that I desire and need. All of the guys that I have had these experiences with have been guys who were completely out of my league. I’ve simply accepted that this is how I can have sex.

Recently, I spoke to one of my acquaintances about this during a long night of conversation we were both having while self-isolated for the current virus situation. She was appalled at me and told me that this was unhealthy for me and exploitative for the guys I deal with. The conversation ended on a frustrating, hostile note on her part. I’m just trying to get some impartial reactions or advice on this long-standing practice. Am I being unfair to myself and others getting the sex I need? I’ve never tried to force anyone to have sex with me, just offered them financial incentives to do so.

—Content John

Dearly Beloved,

I’m 24 and I’m from the suburbs outside of NYC and I’m in love with this guy from some “West Bubble Fuck” area in New Jersey. He’s 29 and has his life somewhat together; however, I can’t trust him. We went out for a few months and I had the best time of my life with him, but my asshole wasn’t happy with his dick size.

Well, his dick is like ten inches long, very thick and I’m just not trying to have a gaping asshole.

The times when I’ve taken enough muscle relaxers, the sex was great, especially the time that we were fucking on the balcony of our hotel suite — that was definitely porn scene material.

Haha. Anyway, after a while having sex with him just became unbearable and I couldn’t manage. He wants to have sex spontaneously and would randomly pull over asking if we could fuck in the car right now. However, having sex with him for me has to be planned so that I won’t feel uncomfortable, but he hated that.

One day I was going through his phone and I saw that he was messaging other guys and meeting up for sex, so I broke up with him.

Time after time, he would hit me up saying he misses me and blah blah, but the truth is that I miss him, too, and not for his dick.

A year later we met up in Manhattan and we hung out, it was clear that he’s been to the gay bars there a lot because a lot of cheap skanks kept coming up to him and left when they saw me with him. The bar scene in NYC was new to me since I never really cared to go before; however, I did learn that I should never wear anything designer to the Ritz again. I even lost my Louis Vuitton bracelet there, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was even stolen.

Anyway, he wants to get back together now, but I think it’s pointless because I can’t handle his dick but I still have feelings for him. What should I do? Please help me…

Best,

Oyster Bay Hunty