Dear Prudence,

I’m a man in my mid-30s with a beautiful wife. We’ve been married for 15 years and had a great kid very early on in our relationship. We both have great careers, nice friends, a very kinky and active sex life. Others generally look at us with admiration and envy. My problem is that I became a serial cheater around eight years ago. I analyzed quite a lot why I feel the need to cheat (sex with my wife is definitely better than with other women) and think that I like the challenge of “conquering” and later the romantic aspects of it. My affairs usually last a few months. I’m also very open with my relationship status (and my unwillingness to change it) to my affair partners. I even developed great friendships with two last affair partners, and the whole experience has generally been extremely enriching and positive for me.

I never fell in love with another woman, and I want to stay with my wife forever, but I can’t seem, and also don’t want, to stop seeing other women. My job involves a lot of travel, so it’s easy to get away with cheating without arousing suspicion. In the beginning I didn’t really think too hard about it, but going forward I want to be “square and fair.” My wife doesn’t have the slightest idea of my cheating and would obviously be devastated if she found out.

A year or so ago I started talking about opening up our relationship as a way to slowly “legalize” my behavior. While she isn’t totally against the idea, it’s more something she can imagine in a distant future and in a very controlled setting. I reckon that the romantic aspects and durations of my affairs would be serious no-gos for her. While the easy answer would be “stop before you blow up your perfect life,” I feel like I’m not really able to. What are your thoughts?

—Can’t Stop Won’t Stop

Two years after President Trump signed the tax law, its effects are rippling through local economies and housing markets, pushing some people to move from high-tax states where they have long lived. Parts of Florida, for example, are getting an influx of buyers from states such as New York, New Jersey and Illinois.

Many people saw their overall taxes go down after the 2017 law was passed. But the law had two main changes making it tougher to live in high-cost, high-tax states, especially compared with lower-taxed options. It essentially curbed how much homeowners can subtract from their federal taxes for paying local property and income taxes, by capping the state and local tax deduction at $10,000. It also lowered the size of mortgages for which new buyers can deduct the interest, to $750,000 from $1 million.

These changes have the biggest impact on a sliver of the population who have high incomes and live in expensive areas. They tend to have white-collar jobs and the ability to pick up and move. Many own their own businesses, work remotely or are nearing retirement.

Critics say the changes have hurt everyone who lives in high-tax states, by taking a bite out of tax revenue. New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, for example, panned the state and local tax cap last year. “It has redistributed wealth in this nation from Democratic states—we’re also called blue states—to red states,” he said at the time.

Dating is more complicated than ever right now: You can be Gatsbyed, breadcrumbed, and ghosted by your Tinder match... all in the same week. And even when a great first date gives you butterflies, knowing what to do next can be confusing AF. Luckily, in Elite Daily's series, We Need To Talk, our Dating editors break down the latest terms, trends, and issues affecting your life with their own hot takes to figure out how to navigate finding love in a world that changes faster than you can swipe left.

PSA: “Commitment” is not a dirty word. Whether the person you’re talking to is “sooooo busy with work” or “honestly not looking for anything serious right now,” it can feel like there’s an endless list of reasons no one wants to define the relationship, and an endless number of people who will lead you on, only to break your heart. Asking someone whether or not they want to commit to you can be more nerve-wracking than interviewing for your dream job and waiting on pregnancy test results combined, and it can make finding an exclusive relationship feel next to impossible. The good news? It’s not just you, and contrary to popular belief, casual hookup culture isn’t the only thing to blame.

New government research paints a dire picture of Americans and their exercise habits. Across all 50 states, at least 15 percent of adults reported being physically inactive, while in some areas of the country, nearly 50 percent of adults said they got no form of exercise.

The research is based on four years of survey data (2015-2018) collected by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and was published Thursday on the CDC’s website. The telephone-run survey asked people if they had participated “in any physical activities or exercises such as running, calisthenics, golf, gardening, or walking for exercise” in the past month, outside of any work duties. Those who said no were classified as inactive.

A new study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) Thursday reveals that binge-drinking is becoming both more excessive and frequent — especially among middle-aged American men.

Published in the CDC’s Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, the study relied on data from what’s known as the Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System (BRFSS), a random digitized telephone survey of adults across the U.S. that’s conducted monthly. For this particular analysis, the researchers used BRFSS data from 2011 to 2017, measuring the average number of drinks consumed per sitting, the frequency of binge-drinking episodes, and the total overall number of binge drinks per year.

When people ask her if she has children, Münter, who is 44, has a prepared answer: “No, my husband and I are child-free by choice.” Saying child-free, she argues, doesn’t imply you are deprived, as the more standard “childless” might. And by letting them know it isn’t a sad topic to be avoided, she says, “it opens up the door for them to ask: ‘Oh, that’s interesting, why did you choose not to?’” Münter wants to move the awkward topic of overpopulation into the mainstream. “The more we talk about it, the more comfortable people will feel talking about it and then, maybe, things will change.”

For too long, she feels, the issue has been swept under the rug. “We can talk about emissions and climate change, but talking about population gets such an emotional reaction.”

The last thing she wants to do is make parents feel guilty, or to shut them out of the conversation. Procreation, after all, is natural. And if you have two children, you are only replacing their parents, rather than adding extras. But if you’re not yet a parent and can’t suppress your parental instincts, says Münter, “my ask is that you consider adopting one of the 153m orphan children that are already on the planet and need a home. Or, if you are dead set on having your own, my hope would be that you just have one and then if you want more, adopt.” Ultimately, she says, “your kids and your kid’s kids will be the ones who benefit from humans deciding to slow down our rate of growth. It will slow down climate change, ocean acidification, cutting down the wild places.”

A lawmaker in Vermont is engaging in the ultimate Boomer behavior. Democratic state Senator John Rodgers introduced a bill to the Vermont legislature this week that would ban anyone under 21 from owning a cell phone. If Rodgers manages to gather enough support within the statehouse in Montpelier the proposed law would penalize teens and children found in possession of a phone with a $1,000 fine and up to one year in prison.

Conversations around toxic masculinity, consent, and the ways boys are taught about sex and relationships are extremely prevalent today. How have these conversations affected boys’ real lives? Or are they still dealing with the same trappings of masculinity and rape culture that they were 10 years ago?

Boys still brag a lot about how they “never cry.”

Brené Brown calls emotional vulnerability the secret sauce that holds relationships together. So, if we cut boys off from the ability to feel or express that, we’re basically cutting them off from the ability to have, establish, and engage in healthy relationships.

I started noticing how often boys used ‘hilarious’ or something being ‘funny’ — those were the words they used — when what they really meant was that something was disturbing, that it violated their morals, that it was reprehensible, that it disgusted them. Hilarious or funny were a default position. If you see something as hilarious when you don’t know how else to respond to it, then you won’t be targeted or mocked.

It’s another way that boys are disconnected from what they truly feel. Their heads are disconnected from their hearts. Among other things, that also undermines their compassion for the target of whatever is hilarious, which, in a situation of sexual misconduct, is a girl. I noticed some of the really high profile assault cases with high school boys as the perpetrators. What those boys said when people said, “How could you have done this horrible thing?” They’d say, “Well, we just thought we were being funny. We thought it was hilarious.”

Last year was the year of plant-based versions of fast food classics like the Dunkin' breakfast sandwich and so many different types of vegan-friendly burgers. It's no surprise that 2020 is already kicking off with more meatless options, but the new Burger King soy-based patty is actually not a suitable option for vegans because of how it's prepared.

The new Rebel Whopper is only available in the United Kingdom as of now, and includes a soy patty. One would think that this makes it totally A-okay for vegan fast food lovers, but unfortunately, the patty is grilled on the same surface as the meat patties. This makes it a no-go for those who follow strict vegan diets because of the cross contamination.

The sandwich also comes dressed with mayonnaise as reported by the BBC, which is also non-vegan since it's made with eggs.

Okay, everybody, the Worst Wellness Trend of the 2010s Tournament has officially drawn to a close, with anti-vaxxing claiming the number one slot once and for all. To be honest, we're not totally surprised. Parents who choose not to vaccinate their kids are, after all, notorious for lifting rhetoric from the reproductive rights movement and pretty much completely responsible for the revival of once-dead diseases like measles. Wellness rocks!

Yes, I am in marriage counseling—but our marriage counselor is uncomfortable talking about sex. He’s great with helping us communicate better, but he just does not cover that area of things. Yes, I know there is such a thing as a sex counselor, and no, my insurance doesn’t cover any that I’ve been able to find. Yes, I’ve tried to teach my husband where my clitoris is. We’ve been married for five years, and he cannot be dissuaded from thinking it’s my urethra, which, ow. Yes, I’ve tried teaching my husband to touch me gently, but anytime he tries, it’s not only NOT my clitoris, but it’s also way too rough. He will not learn.

My question is whether all men are like this—because in my dating life, they all were—or whether it’s worth it to try to have an affair. For me, sex has always been all risk and no reward. I have become deeply cynical in this area. But there is a little tiny sprig of hope that makes me wonder: What if there is a reward to be had? What if some straight men are interested in the clitoris and understand how to operate it? What if I can have an orgasm with someone else before I die? That reward would be worth the risk.

New York could bar doctors from performing so-called virginity tests under legislation prompted by the rapper T.I.'s controversial claim that he has a gynecologist check his daughter's hymen annually.

Assemblywoman Michaelle Solages said Tuesday the bill she submitted last month would prohibit medical professionals from performing or supervising such examinations, though it's unclear how common they are in the U.S. New York would also consider it sexual assault when such tests are performed outside of a medical setting.

“It’s medically unnecessary,” the Democrat said. “It's often painful, humiliating, traumatic. All in all, it's a form of violence against women.”

A team of researchers led by Jason Nagata of the University of California, San Francisco, recently published an article in the Journal of Adolescent Health detailing the scope of influence of food insecurity on a variety of outcomes related to young adult wellbeing. The researchers reported that somewhere between 9% and 14% of young adults in the 24-34-year age-range experience food insecurity, and that food insecurity among college students may be more than double that percentage.

In their sample of approximately 14,786 young adults in the United States, 11% of whom reported food insecurity, food-insecure participants were significantly more likely to endorse experiences of depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and poor sleep quality (difficulties falling and staying asleep) than their food-secure peers.

Death rates from suicide, drug overdoses, liver disease and dozens of other causes have been rising over the past decade for young and middle-aged adults, driving down overall life expectancy in the United States for three consecutive years, according to a strikingly bleak study published Tuesday that looked at the past six decades of mortality data.

Men, overall, have higher all-cause mortality than women, but the report pulls out some disturbing trends. Women are succumbing to diseases once far more common among men, even as men continue to die in greater absolute numbers.

Much of the research examining identity has focused on traits or dynamics that are considered universal for all human beings (e.g., self-esteem, introversion-extraversion, and levels of anxiety) regardless of race, culture, gender, sexual orientation, or class. At this level, researchers and clinicians treat human experiences as being similar, for example, the experiences of aging, coping with life stress, and interpersonal relationships. However, the extent to which any one of these traits and dynamics may be high or low, prominent, amplified, or muted differs as a result of sociodemographic categories such as culture, class, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.