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Health/Food Posts Tagged as 'Lifestyle'
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I’m a Straight Woman Who Married a Gay Man
I met my husband 13 years ago, and we’ve been together ever since. We fell deeply, madly in love with each other and have been married for nine wonderful years now. He’s patient, kind, gentle-hearted. He’s also always been honest about being gay and has never hidden it from me. Only one of our mutual friends knows this about my husband. Our son also knows, since we thought it would be best to remain open with him about it, so he never “found out” by surprise or from our mutual friend. Our son took the news very well and doesn’t care that his father was gay.
I’ve never told my family, or really any of my friends, as I think they’d all be judgmental. My siblings don’t like my husband, but that’s a different letter in itself. So I’ve always kept it bottled up inside. He’s been married before, and divorced, to a straight woman, with whom he has a grown daughter. I’m a straight woman too. I’ve asked my husband about it, and he confirms that he’s gay, not bisexual. He left his first wife because of a lot of problems (and her infidelity), then he was in a few different relationships with other men, before he met his ex-boyfriend. They were still living together when we met. I’m confused by it all, and it has, at times, caused problems in our marriage, because of my lack of self-confidence. I have doubts that he might leave me someday for a gay relationship like he did his ex-wife. We’ve both been faithful to each other, and he loves me, and I love him. But is that good enough for him? Would you consider him bisexual or gay?
—Not-Quite-Lavender Marriage
I’ve never told my family, or really any of my friends, as I think they’d all be judgmental. My siblings don’t like my husband, but that’s a different letter in itself. So I’ve always kept it bottled up inside. He’s been married before, and divorced, to a straight woman, with whom he has a grown daughter. I’m a straight woman too. I’ve asked my husband about it, and he confirms that he’s gay, not bisexual. He left his first wife because of a lot of problems (and her infidelity), then he was in a few different relationships with other men, before he met his ex-boyfriend. They were still living together when we met. I’m confused by it all, and it has, at times, caused problems in our marriage, because of my lack of self-confidence. I have doubts that he might leave me someday for a gay relationship like he did his ex-wife. We’ve both been faithful to each other, and he loves me, and I love him. But is that good enough for him? Would you consider him bisexual or gay?
—Not-Quite-Lavender Marriage
I’m a Straight Woman Who Married a Gay Man
My grandchild is trans, what do I do?
“My granddaughter just informed me she has decided she would be happier living as a boy, and she has gone so far as to legally change her name,” the grandmother, labeling herself “Grandma in Pain” wrote. “I want to be supportive, but I admit I’m having a lot of trouble accepting it, or at least figuring out how to deal with it.”
“She’s my only grandchild and most likely the only one I’ll ever have,” Grandma in Pain continued. I loved my granddaughter with all my heart, and I don’t know how to shift gears to a grandson. I keep stumbling when I try to use the new name. I would welcome any suggestions you could make, including information about support groups you might know of.”
“She’s my only grandchild and most likely the only one I’ll ever have,” Grandma in Pain continued. I loved my granddaughter with all my heart, and I don’t know how to shift gears to a grandson. I keep stumbling when I try to use the new name. I would welcome any suggestions you could make, including information about support groups you might know of.”
My grandchild is trans, what do I do?
Help! My Husband Has Been Sexting His Cousin.
Q. I want to puke: I recently found out that my husband has been sexting his cousin! I’m at a loss. Just devastated. It’s bad enough that he has been sexting another woman, but it is with his first cousin and it has been going on for years! We’ve been married for 30 years! I feel like if it were any other woman, I could deal with this. And, my God, I wish it was someone else.
I feel trapped! I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this! All I can think of is how disgusting and disappointed my children, who are in their 20s, and his family would be. We spend a lot of time together with his family and are very close. (No pun intended.) His sisters are like sisters to me. In fact, one of the sisters is best friends with the cousin! I can’t think straight! Please help me help myself! They both have said it hasn’t gone beyond texting, but from the messages I saw, I believe it would or could have.
I feel trapped! I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this! All I can think of is how disgusting and disappointed my children, who are in their 20s, and his family would be. We spend a lot of time together with his family and are very close. (No pun intended.) His sisters are like sisters to me. In fact, one of the sisters is best friends with the cousin! I can’t think straight! Please help me help myself! They both have said it hasn’t gone beyond texting, but from the messages I saw, I believe it would or could have.
Help! My Husband Has Been Sexting His Cousin.
My Sons and I Want My Daughter to Dress More Appropriately 
I have a daughter who is very depressed and suffers from anxiety and outbursts of anger. She is trying medication and also sees a psychologist regularly. We are just trying to manage things the best we can for her. We even welcomed a puppy into our family to hopefully help lower her anxiety. However, most interactions, even the most basic of topics, are strained and difficult with her. She is always seeking out any way possible to push back on everything we say or be argumentative. She is a smart, beautiful girl and is quite developed for her age. My question is: What is the best way to discuss dressing appropriately with her? She makes fairly good choices for school except for the odd midriff (which is not worth the argument). At home she dresses in short shorts that are far too revealing and often a shirt that is low cut.
We have always had the family rule that we must always be dressed or wear pajamas around the house for the respect of ourselves and others in our family. My sons have both said they are uncomfortable when their sister wears this inappropriate attire. Our family is quite progressive, and we want to see the societal norms around labeling women by how they’re dressed change for the better. When we have brought up our daughter’s dress, she has sharply retorted that how can we judge her for having legs, and why should she have to cover up her perfectly natural body. In some ways, I agree, but that is the perfect attitude for living alone, not in a small house with four other people. Please help me with the right words to reach her.
—Mystified Mother
We have always had the family rule that we must always be dressed or wear pajamas around the house for the respect of ourselves and others in our family. My sons have both said they are uncomfortable when their sister wears this inappropriate attire. Our family is quite progressive, and we want to see the societal norms around labeling women by how they’re dressed change for the better. When we have brought up our daughter’s dress, she has sharply retorted that how can we judge her for having legs, and why should she have to cover up her perfectly natural body. In some ways, I agree, but that is the perfect attitude for living alone, not in a small house with four other people. Please help me with the right words to reach her.
—Mystified Mother
My Sons and I Want My Daughter to Dress More Appropriately
What I Learned About Love When I Stopped Being Honest 
When I moved to New York at 22, it became clear that an honest man would have a hard time getting a job. The nicer interviewers would get concerned and offer sincere advice, telling me that when asked about my biggest flaw, I wasn’t supposed to actually list my flaws. When I told them I hoped some employers would appreciate my honesty, most laughed. In some cases, I ended interviews early on the grounds that the interviewer and I clearly weren’t compatible. But I got lucky and was hired by an eccentric who was charmed by my earnestness. After two months as his assistant, he brought up areas where I needed to improve, and I candidly told him that I didn’t think I could do better, that I wasn’t the best person he could get for this job. I pretty much persuaded him to fire me.
After years of feeling torn between my old ways and my new ones, I got over my discomfort at participating in the dishonest world and started to see why people spared one another the truth. As I experimented with small talk, I noticed how others used honesty to establish intimacy. I’d always seen “hiding feelings” as cowardly, but for other people, the selectiveness of their honesty was what gave it meaning. They’d choose who was special enough to hear their secrets. My indiscriminate, automatic honesty had meant that I’d tell a personal story the same way to a stranger as I would to my closest friend; that cheapened anything I shared. Anyone who loved me wanted to see a side that I didn’t show others, but I hadn’t saved one for them. Immediate honesty was impatient; if I wanted people to be honest with me, I had to earn it.
After years of feeling torn between my old ways and my new ones, I got over my discomfort at participating in the dishonest world and started to see why people spared one another the truth. As I experimented with small talk, I noticed how others used honesty to establish intimacy. I’d always seen “hiding feelings” as cowardly, but for other people, the selectiveness of their honesty was what gave it meaning. They’d choose who was special enough to hear their secrets. My indiscriminate, automatic honesty had meant that I’d tell a personal story the same way to a stranger as I would to my closest friend; that cheapened anything I shared. Anyone who loved me wanted to see a side that I didn’t show others, but I hadn’t saved one for them. Immediate honesty was impatient; if I wanted people to be honest with me, I had to earn it.
What I Learned About Love When I Stopped Being Honest
Men Find Bromances 'Emotionally Rival' Romantic Relationships, Study Reveals
Men find that platonic friendships with other men 'emotionally rival' their romantic relationships with women, according to a study in Men and Masculinities.
Those surveyed said 'the lack of boundaries and judgment' in their friendships with other men resulted in 'elevated emotional stability, enhanced emotional disclosure, social fulfilment, and better conflict resolution, compared to the emotional lives they shared with girlfriends'.
Most of the participants answers to the survey also made reference to the fact they felt more like they could be their real self with their bros.
As one respondent said: "Tim knows I love listening to Taylor Swift and Beyoncé, but I keep that quiet [around my girlfriend] because she would judge me. I feel like I have to be more manly around her."
Those surveyed said 'the lack of boundaries and judgment' in their friendships with other men resulted in 'elevated emotional stability, enhanced emotional disclosure, social fulfilment, and better conflict resolution, compared to the emotional lives they shared with girlfriends'.
Most of the participants answers to the survey also made reference to the fact they felt more like they could be their real self with their bros.
As one respondent said: "Tim knows I love listening to Taylor Swift and Beyoncé, but I keep that quiet [around my girlfriend] because she would judge me. I feel like I have to be more manly around her."
Men Find Bromances 'Emotionally Rival' Romantic Relationships, Study Reveals
Orange County COVID-19 ICU Capacity Hits Zero, Health Officials Suspend Ambulance Diversion
Orange County continued its streak of daily records for COVID-19 hospitalizations on Thursday with 1,519 patients, including 343 in ICU beds.
The county’s adjusted ICU bed capacity remains at zero.
The state created the adjusted metric to reflect the difference in beds available for COVID-19 patients and non-coronavirus patients. The county’s unadjusted ICU bed capacity is also dropping, and it currently stands at 9.5%.
The 11-county Southern California region’s adjusted percentage of available ICU beds dropped from 0.5% to zero as well.
Another 13 people died from virus-related complications, the county reported Thursday. The death toll is now at 1,731.
The county’s adjusted ICU bed capacity remains at zero.
The state created the adjusted metric to reflect the difference in beds available for COVID-19 patients and non-coronavirus patients. The county’s unadjusted ICU bed capacity is also dropping, and it currently stands at 9.5%.
The 11-county Southern California region’s adjusted percentage of available ICU beds dropped from 0.5% to zero as well.
Another 13 people died from virus-related complications, the county reported Thursday. The death toll is now at 1,731.
Orange County COVID-19 ICU Capacity Hits Zero, Health Officials Suspend Ambulance Diversion
'The virus is moving in': why California is losing the fight against Covid
Early in the coronavirus pandemic, California was celebrated as a beacon of common sense in a country on the brink.
By early summer, however, the pressure to open back up rose. Officials discovered the state wasn’t immune to the national fatigue with social distancing and mask-wearing. Amid a patchwork of haphazard rules and guidelines, cases crept up.
Los Angeles county last week passed the disturbing milestone of 10,000 new Covid-19 cases a day, and officials there fear a spike in infections resulting from the Thanksgiving holiday could send hospitalizations surging further. LA officials said that one person is now dying of Covid every 20 minutes, and the county’s public health director, Barbara Ferrer, broke down crying at a briefing while talking about the “incalculable loss” of more than 8,000 deaths.
By early summer, however, the pressure to open back up rose. Officials discovered the state wasn’t immune to the national fatigue with social distancing and mask-wearing. Amid a patchwork of haphazard rules and guidelines, cases crept up.
Los Angeles county last week passed the disturbing milestone of 10,000 new Covid-19 cases a day, and officials there fear a spike in infections resulting from the Thanksgiving holiday could send hospitalizations surging further. LA officials said that one person is now dying of Covid every 20 minutes, and the county’s public health director, Barbara Ferrer, broke down crying at a briefing while talking about the “incalculable loss” of more than 8,000 deaths.
'The virus is moving in': why California is losing the fight against Covid
The Notre-Dame de Kerbertrand high school in Quimperlé, France, has been accused of making How to Be Successful in your Love and Sexual Life by Father Jean-Benoit Casterman available to students.
The booklet, written in French and first published in 2006, propagates deeply harmful and outdated ideas about LGBT+ identities.
It claims: “Homosexuality is often the result of emotional development marked by an excessive influence of the mother during childhood or as a result of sexual child abuse by adults that induced an attraction to the same sex or a fear of the opposite sex,” according to LGBTQ Nation.
“Homosexual tendencies are therefore not wanted and do not make a person happy. That’s why homosexual people deserve our sympathy.”
The booklet, written in French and first published in 2006, propagates deeply harmful and outdated ideas about LGBT+ identities.
It claims: “Homosexuality is often the result of emotional development marked by an excessive influence of the mother during childhood or as a result of sexual child abuse by adults that induced an attraction to the same sex or a fear of the opposite sex,” according to LGBTQ Nation.
“Homosexual tendencies are therefore not wanted and do not make a person happy. That’s why homosexual people deserve our sympathy.”
A mother has lashed out at 'Karens' for accusing her of neglect after she shared a photograph of her daughter's newly decorated room on Facebook.
Dads Might Be Taking Significantly More 'Me Time' Than Moms, Survey Finds
A new survey has found that dads might be taking a lot more time for themselves than moms in heterosexual households.
Conducted by online retailer Zulily, the survey found that 68 percent of moms only take one to five hours per week of "me time" while, according to Parents, results showed that dads take six hours or more.
Parents also noted that an earlier study from Zulily found that moms were reporting 31 percent less time to themselves since the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic.
"Often, moms carry the mental load of doing the 'extra' tasks at work and at home," Lindsay C. Malloy, Ph.D., told Parents. "Maybe others rely on you because you always say 'yes,' and now might be a good time to try to change this pattern by putting your foot down."
Conducted by online retailer Zulily, the survey found that 68 percent of moms only take one to five hours per week of "me time" while, according to Parents, results showed that dads take six hours or more.
Parents also noted that an earlier study from Zulily found that moms were reporting 31 percent less time to themselves since the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic.
"Often, moms carry the mental load of doing the 'extra' tasks at work and at home," Lindsay C. Malloy, Ph.D., told Parents. "Maybe others rely on you because you always say 'yes,' and now might be a good time to try to change this pattern by putting your foot down."
Dads Might Be Taking Significantly More 'Me Time' Than Moms, Survey Finds
Dog owners may catch COVID-19 more often, but the reason will surprise you 
You probably already know the ins-and-outs of how to protect yourself from COVID-19 when it comes to dealing with other human beings. If you do have to be around people, don’t get too close, wear a mask, and try to stay outside. But, having a friendly dog can make those interactions tricker. After all, many dog owners have been dragged across the street to meet a new fuzzy friend and their owner, whether they like it or not.
One study recently published in Environmental Research found that pet owners who take their dogs on walks have a 78 percent higher chance of catching COVID-19 compared to pup-less peers in a survey of over 2000 people. That’s higher than even that of people still going onsite to work.
One study recently published in Environmental Research found that pet owners who take their dogs on walks have a 78 percent higher chance of catching COVID-19 compared to pup-less peers in a survey of over 2000 people. That’s higher than even that of people still going onsite to work.
Dog owners may catch COVID-19 more often, but the reason will surprise you
Why it will take a village to save our sons
And as a parent myself, right now it feels like we're forming future adults in an environment where there's more distraction and disconnection than ever in human history.
From the cultural turbulence caused by uncertainty and polarization, to the endless social media and entertainment options, there's a long list of diversions competing for our kids' attention -- making it that much harder to connect with teens in ways that foster their healthy development as they move into young adulthood.
Research has shown this can be particularly challenging if those teens are male. Boys have been found to have higher high school dropout rates than girls, as well as higher suicide rates. They're struggling with technology, too: A 2007 survey found that young men are two to three times more likely than girls to feel addicted to video games.
In my work with families as a stress management and communication specialist, I've found that some young men have put so much attention on their digital devices that they've stopped connecting with their natural drive to become more responsible for their own well-being as a result.
In the summer of 1999, I heard about a wilderness adventure camp for young men in Vancouver, British Columbia. The leader of this event, Brad Leslie, invited me to serve as a volunteer while my son attended the camp as a participant. I needed the help of a village of men, he told me, to raise my son.
From the cultural turbulence caused by uncertainty and polarization, to the endless social media and entertainment options, there's a long list of diversions competing for our kids' attention -- making it that much harder to connect with teens in ways that foster their healthy development as they move into young adulthood.
Research has shown this can be particularly challenging if those teens are male. Boys have been found to have higher high school dropout rates than girls, as well as higher suicide rates. They're struggling with technology, too: A 2007 survey found that young men are two to three times more likely than girls to feel addicted to video games.
In my work with families as a stress management and communication specialist, I've found that some young men have put so much attention on their digital devices that they've stopped connecting with their natural drive to become more responsible for their own well-being as a result.
In the summer of 1999, I heard about a wilderness adventure camp for young men in Vancouver, British Columbia. The leader of this event, Brad Leslie, invited me to serve as a volunteer while my son attended the camp as a participant. I needed the help of a village of men, he told me, to raise my son.
Why it will take a village to save our sons
I empathize with the concern but the solution is more Boy Scouts? 30-Nov-2020
Sound the Alarm: The Moms Are Not Alright
We know that women make less than men during the best of times—in 2018 women’s weekly wages were 81.1% that of men, according to a report from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. During this recession not only were sectors with higher proportions of female employees disproportionately affected, but female employees have been disproportionately more likely to be laid off than their male counterparts. Women-owned businesses are also more likely to be in the healthcare, education, or retail sectors that have been so hard hit during COVID-19. Partially due to lower income overall, women also tend to have less buffer to weather financial storms.
This paints a dire picture for women’s mental health. We can readily empathize with financial strain, the fear that accompanies it and the catastrophic negative impact it can have on mental health. We may also appreciate that despite the reluctance we might frequently feel to get out of bed and go to work on a Monday morning, there is a well-established link between employment and mental health. We know that becoming unemployed is associated with depression and suicidality, and that gaining employment is associated with an improvement in mental health. Furthermore, in a socially distanced world in which women are substantially less able to receive household help or have contact with females outside their immediate household, there is a greater burden on the support that partners provide. Unfortunately, we know that within relationships, financial concerns are a major driver of conflict between partners, jeopardizing the support available to struggling mothers.
This paints a dire picture for women’s mental health. We can readily empathize with financial strain, the fear that accompanies it and the catastrophic negative impact it can have on mental health. We may also appreciate that despite the reluctance we might frequently feel to get out of bed and go to work on a Monday morning, there is a well-established link between employment and mental health. We know that becoming unemployed is associated with depression and suicidality, and that gaining employment is associated with an improvement in mental health. Furthermore, in a socially distanced world in which women are substantially less able to receive household help or have contact with females outside their immediate household, there is a greater burden on the support that partners provide. Unfortunately, we know that within relationships, financial concerns are a major driver of conflict between partners, jeopardizing the support available to struggling mothers.
Sound the Alarm: The Moms Are Not Alright
Landlords skirt COVID-19 eviction bans, using intimidation and tricks to boot tenants
Cash-strapped renters nationwide say their landlords tried to skirt COVID-19 eviction moratoriums by changing locks, removing trash containers so waste piled up and – in one case – attempting to unbolt the front door right off an apartment.
They told state attorneys general that they were kicked out of their homes after landlords accused them of violating tenant rules, like smoking cigarettes inside their units or failing to take the hitches off of their mobile homes.
Like Heidi Stach, who lost her job due to the pandemic and fell behind on rent, they assumed they were protected. But Stach says her landlord found an end-run to Wisconsin’s eviction ban: Instead of starting a court process, he sent her a notice to vacate this summer because he was not renewing her lease.
They told state attorneys general that they were kicked out of their homes after landlords accused them of violating tenant rules, like smoking cigarettes inside their units or failing to take the hitches off of their mobile homes.
Like Heidi Stach, who lost her job due to the pandemic and fell behind on rent, they assumed they were protected. But Stach says her landlord found an end-run to Wisconsin’s eviction ban: Instead of starting a court process, he sent her a notice to vacate this summer because he was not renewing her lease.
Landlords skirt COVID-19 eviction bans, using intimidation and tricks to boot tenants
