All Posts Tagged as 'Corn'

Marissa's mother summed everything up. "If you hurt my bitch daughter I will cut your balls off." It's a misnomer to think that love isn't hurt when that's all love is. Yes, we are going to love, fuck it up, change our minds, get the yucks, find others attractive, cheat, maybe, doubt, feel, die, get sick, get better, repeat ourselves, transition, evolve and escape. A thin Hannah on TV sounds like a horrific thing. I think it is beneficial that Ramses switches team. Taylor and Garrett don't gel because they fit. Nick needs to win an award for "Most Tolerant Contestant Without Resorting to Violence." Ashley needs to fuck Tyler a few hundred times, film it, dump him and send the rushes to me. Alexandra and Tim. He needs an active model that isn't inflatable. 18-Oct-2024

S7E7. The vacation was a kindergartener's "first day" type of thing. The couples were blasted to la la land where the only dream that came true were worst case scenarios. The contestants dream so convincingly that it becomes a fake reality that doesn't prepare them for the future. Confidence is knowing where you're going no matter what stops you. Garrett shaved but I didn't notice a difference. Everything Hannah planned is working. She's there for the endgame. She didn't want her second choice but didn't allow her buddy to have him either. The key word was "shut up girl, it's none of your business." Leo deserves her. Monica. Ms. Plantation treats her husband like a butler. How does she stay so thin? She doesn't move. He gets everything for her. Everything but flowers and gifts because you can't show love without cash. She shushes him like a dog when she thinks it's her turn to talk. "Who's a good doggie?" What has she done to deserve gifts? Tim and Alex. I don't remember their tiff but it rang a huge alarm. She was off and listless. Marissa and Ramses. Somewhere in her sea of militarism was a hot dick, I'm sure. Why else talk about it incessantly? Why doesn't she just blowhorn into Ramses ear that he better be toxic or the fumes aren't happening. I wanted to invite Monica over to shush her. 11-Oct-2024

The men are all manmeat and the ladies are fantasy dolls. It's a dazzling community that does everything different because their transition is just a facade. Women are embracing it like the fable served to them by the universe that is rarely achieved. They want to be women of the now but the strength of man and family holds them down. They can only look the part. The men gain might by sticking to traditions that don't assist either sex in marriage. She roams his castle in chains. He roams the town tying females up. They are not allowed kissing, fondling or co-habitation which suffices for an interesting working vacation but not love. The sexes fall in love at a rapid pace. They have a script written and they're going to play it out no matter the expense. Jealousy is a big thing because they're always horny and there is always another Barbie or Ken to fantasize about. A man demands that his future wife not be a dancer, a Barbie treated her fiancee like she was being paid, women have a better sense of identity than men, women want to fly and men only want to fly a kite. There is fun to be had when the ladies awaken and the men get spit upon. Educational incredulity in a very nice package. 18-Oct-2024

What part of "I'm engaged to a dick" did AD not understand? The latina has no idea what it's going to be like to share a blue eyed baby maker with her friends. She might have to slash some tires. Jimmy's speech was arousing. I had a desire to squish his face and lick his teeth again. The only parts of a fairy tale that are true are the bad ones. It's immature to keep believing in them. 07-Mar-2024

E6. Unless Nick Lachey does something drastic, like wear shorts or tights, thigh season is over. Meet and greet was made uncomfortable by three Razzie nominees. Not only was AD not Barbie, she wasn't even Barbie's black friend. Petite means childlike. How could she not understand the reference? Her intense desire to get married trumped it. Clay can recognize that she is beautiful but she doesn't fulfill his type. He played along because it's better than waiting for his mother's social security check to deposit and he gets to eat fine food in paradise for free with a bombshell woman that his dick wont easily glide into. At the reunion, AD lent all the men her flopping attention, pinpointed her fuck target as Chelsea noticed and put one on her. The most hilarious meet and greet happened to Jimmy, his car salesman pitch, sexy tone and granite (but squishy) conceit, made it obvious to the audience that he was displeased when he saw her. He stopped before sitting to look at the camera directly and threaten it. He lied and charmed but kept giving clues to the viewers that yes, I'm no prince either but I have smooth skin, a cheeky smile, some hair, squishiness, and a big fat dick. At the group honeymoon, Jimmy focused on AD's chest and wanted everybody to know it, but especially AD and his fiancee. The way he approached AD is probably the same way he approaches all scared women wherever he goes. The first red flag was his face because all you can say to it is "what a bad boy you are" and lick his teeth. Laura is the last nominee. She did better than the guys but her compliments flitted by and bit. During the honeymoon she insinuated that fiancee's penis was as big as a baby banana. He pretended not to hear her. I can't wait until she shares the anecdote with the group. If you use gorgeous and beautiful constantly as a description it loses its validity. It's also disingenuous. Jeramy might need evaluation. His immaturity is prepubescent. It looks like someone cheats. The Lacheys must do everything in their power to bring back thighs. Never tell your girlfriends about fiancee's dick. At least two will find it secretly tempting and doable. 17-Feb-2024

Poor Kwame. Not for long. Hookers still exist and there is hope. Original You was a pretty creep. Super tight curls? Eh! Seems like they're hiding something. His pattern of speaking changed after the booth. He couldn't retain a lower, crisper register. I remembered because it shows up for the wedding but not for anything else. His voice is much squeakier. Did they really play serial killer music during Prop Bro's wedding decision? Friday the 13th type? Was that a heartbeat effect? Did she really call him You? Original You lives outside his head while Prop Bro You carries it like a burden. Original was modeled angelic and the other boob would be attractive if they soaped up more. Don't touch the hair, though, unless he's got unnatural stuff coming out of it. Prop has to act quickly and Original lets it build. Original is in the third stage of his assignment and Prop is one step ahead of him. Original has planted his seed but not gained ownership. 14-Apr-2023

S4E10. Somebody is a virgin because they haven't found a satisfying top. Prop Bros #3 tried to convince his fiancee's father to approve of him but he kept smiling like Joker and talking like You. Kwame found a way to excuse his fiancee's future disappointment. His mother. Jackelina is free to get fucked hard whilst Marshalll keeps looking the word up. 08-Apr-2023

Original You's future father-in-law pegged him as a really nice guy or a serial killer. You slaughtered all of Micah's friends' vaginas in one swipe. That lady put a damper in the sportsman's itinerary of happiness by clamping down on a future litter. A contestant that was not mentally profiled accused her fiancee of not being man enough. She doesn't want attention, affection or walkouts. She wants to get banged hard. Cue sensitive fucking and mild spit. 01-Apr-2023

The passing of the great Jordan made me realize how the show has become a family staple. The alcoholic neighborhood bar where all inhibitions are lost, pretension is the love potion to making friends, sex is candied and sticky, cordial and silly are memories and its best intention is not to hate cats. Bialik channeled Blossom and it worked. I never thought I'd see her again. Good. Papi Jack nailed himself to the wall so I could behold his back spread. It might not be the biggest anymore but it sure looks tasty. Julian Gant. I'm going to start at the top of his head and work my way down. 09-Dec-2022

They need to stop exploiting cats and explore the biggest vagina on the gay planet. Dorks are out, whores are in. Cat ladies are delusional. 02-Apr-2022

Mayim Bialik presumes she's as adorable as her childhood character, Blossom. She's not. The support represents everything that she has publicly denounced so it's uncomfortable watching them glorify her when she'd rather talk to the camera than interact with them. Leslie Jordan deserves better, Swoozie Kurtz might as well retire and Cheyenne Jackson has swallowed way too many dicks to be considered a straight romantic lead. 23-Jan-2021

No one recognized that Bartiste is the thigh king. I know daddy looked like Pebbles Flintstone but to me he was a Bam Bam Rubble. I wanted to pull it and give him a back bath. Cole showed off his thighs too. As if. The females called Cole a good guy then tore him apart in the description." "You fat shaming hoochie fucking dirty ass broke lying motherfucker evil spawn of satan with dreamy eyes." The women were so supportive of each other that they made Cole cry. Putting Vicks on the tips of his fingertips and rubbing his eyes worked. Colleen was petrified to look Cole's way. She did it in the intro and ticked uncontrollably away. She saw those eyes. Yikes. I think she might have wet herself again. If she did that means that she suffered the whole hour without a diaper change due to the lack of commercials. Guess who's available to fuck somebody's wife? Dude, she lives alone! 09-Nov-2022

S3E8. Would the thigh king agree to abort a future serial killer? No one should have the audacity to bear humans that can't exist without immense help. A lot of these kids can't communicate how they feel. We interpret how they feel. How do we know they're not saying, "I hate you, I hate you". Where's daddy? Is he working his thighs again while I suffer in pain? Yo, barbecue pork is giving the king a run for his money. What a beautiful fuck roast. Bartiste can shed some hair on Andrew's cloud puffs. Brennan looks like that but can't make any money? Ooh. Colleen was not at the club 'til 2:30 in the morning, she was washing her panties. They take forever to dry. They got wet from all the attention Cole was giving her. Both Matt and Cole were more argumentative with their fiancees than they were with each other. Their confrontation was bullshit. Matt really said, "please, I'm begging you, don't fuck my wife" and Cole said, "I won't" but thinking, "I'm gonna fuck your wife". Raven is going to regret taking an Ambien. She's gonna be woozy afterwards. Raven should have paired herself with the other thigh master if she wanted to live comfortably. We know he's a super daddy because he continuously spit it in everyone's face. Fuck other people on the side and go shopping. 06-Nov-2022