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All Posts Tagged as 'Corn'

Welcome to Errattic! We encourage you to customize the type of information you see here by clicking the Preferences link on the top of this page.

 

Hype House (2021-) Arf

A bunch of "could haves" combine business interests with personal relationships. The scheme collapses as soon as a "could have" becomes an "almost." The group may be responsible for creating a Beyonce but Beyonce owes them nothing. The commonality is that all the victims have been emotionally denied by someone important. The babies get lots of attention and money for doing very little. They are the future prostitute. Head twink is going ballistic because his partner is becoming famous and he's looking older. Connive he must. A bowl of white pretty boys, a plate of girls swooning and mouthfuls of queer things exaggerating everything, are the shared focus. Gay bleached boy calls out trans bestie for acting black on social media even though he's black and acts Puerto Rican. His gay friends are white who act black and can't be bothered with full drag. The trans pays to make her fantasies come true but is the loneliest. She can't afford to be real. The babies live in fear of cancellation. The pretty white twinks rule the roost with confidence and the thought that they will eventually get cooked, burnt and flamed out. No success in the world can replace the scars their families placed on them. It's the kids turn to tell parents how they're doing. "Yo, they fucked up and we're going to tell the whole world." If they're not happy now, they never will be. These are the great grandparents of the people Adam Mckay wants to save. Ha! 08-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Cliche, Corn, Crapfun, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Gay, Gay Swatch, Political, Predictable, Pretty, Reality, Relationships, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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08-Jan-2022


Free Guy (2021) BitesEarly Exit

The premise is too outrageous to describe. Nerd becomes "toxic man" when he meets the inaccessible woman of his dreams. He lives in a game and not. I pondered. Is Ryan Reynolds funnier when the makers convince him it isn't supposed to be funny? Who knows. I accidentally turned on deaf of hearing mode and was perturbed by the narrator describing every fucking single thing that happened. I thought, what an annoying piece of shit then I realized the goof. Oops. I corrected it and fell asleep. I will review it properly later, or not. There wasn't much to like. 28-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Camp, Cold, Comedy, Corn, Depressing, Early Exit, Fantasy, Fatigue, Macho Posing, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Star Watt, Timid, Weird, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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28-Dec-2021


He's All That (201) Whimper

Pleasant nothingness of youth. 06-Oct-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Coincidence Laden, Comedy, Corn, Drama, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Retread, Romance, Timid, TV-like, Twinkie

Filed under: Movies

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06-Oct-2021


Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) Bites

Patty Jenkins went on a shopping spree with the film's budget. Did she leave most of it home? It opens with baby Diana discovering clever ways to somersault at the White Female Olympics. She's unbearable, I mean unbeatable even as a child. Cue applause and adoration. There should have been a lot of irony in a woman raised to best everyone, even in goodness. Years of not belonging in the world would have brought her detachment from it. She wouldn't fall apart over Steve Trevor and she definitely wouldn't pine for him for over a 100 years. Compassion is a side effect of a movement. Coldness is a statistic of war. Everything you hate about the movies is in this one. The older maidens are given minimal time. (They didn't study their accents, again.) Cheetah might have been intriguing as a black character with white superiority issues. Yes, make it a race thing. Pedro Pascal left his guts on the floor while Ms. Jenkins took a nap. Steve's explanation for existing in the future was best established on the 70s TV series. Future Steve could have been the great grandson of dead Steve. Incestuous hook-ups and emotional consequences. It would have been a great place to establish personal turmoil. Gadot needed to wear some of the tear in Wonder Woman's battle history to find her strength because it ain't crying.

Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Comic Book, Corn, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Inactivity, Over the Top, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Romance, Silly, Slow, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Trashy, TV-like, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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14-May-2021


Jupiter's Legacy (2021) WoofDowngradeArf

SE5. I'm not done yet. They talk a lot. I wander then I rewind to listen that they are griping about the same depressing shit as last episode. Did Hollywood run out of realistic looking hair or are lousy wiggers not fireable? They gave Daddy the homeless wig. Daddy's hair drips and droops and looks exactly like it sounds. The cast is jelling but the story needs some mushrooms. 14-May-2021
A great pastiche of superhero adventures and the miserable lives it processes. It's familiar, obliterating and fun. 09-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Amiable, Camp, Chemistry, Comic Book, Corn, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Relationships, Repetitive, Star Power, Star Watt, Twinkie, Wig Crack, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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14-May-2021


Youngblood Hawke (1964) Arf

Mr. Hawke drives a coal truck by day and writes the great American novel at night. Mother is wracked because that is not the job that's going to get them out of podunk. They're just pretty words. Wrong, witch. NY publishers called to propose a writing career for your son. Away he goes from Kentucky to New York to deal with business cutthroats, empowered Amazons with tender hands to create or deflate and a key to sin city. The men created partnerships but the women were the deal. He's hanging out with the haves. All the women stand demurely in line to take their turn with him. He's a golden pretty boy who didn't sound much like a writer and definitely didn't honk like a truck. James Franciscus held no extra thoughts. A blank page of "pretty as fuck." The ladies ease through the suds, confiding thoughtful sensibilities in spite of corny poetic writing. He's in love with his boss' wife and maybe his editor. He puts one on ice while he sparks fires with the other. Genevieve Page ate dairy/meat to make her hair resplendent. The accent, the manners, the fashion, the IDGAF attitude and her sweet little gay boy allowed me to pleasantly follow her. Unfortunately, the affair repeats itself so much that I'm surprised the writers didn't add "again" to every single "I'm leaving you." Suzanne Pleshette was so adorably female. Hawke's mother's storyline seemed incomplete as did the boy's. Hawke becomes a celebrity victim and gets cancelled for no apparent reason. 25-Apr-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Corn, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Experiment, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Political, Relationships, Sentimental, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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25-Apr-2021


War With Grandpa, The (2020) Arf

Spoiled kid starts a war with grandpa when hardship hits the elder and he has to move in with daughter and family. Mom and dad evict boy from his room so grandpa can die in it. The mistake is starting a war at all. Grandpa is too cute for mistreatment. Had the hijinks been pranks instead of combat they would have elicited warm feelings. The adults were jelling and the kids were posting but most of the pranks were classic TV lame. 13-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Baby Wrecks, Comedy, Corn, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Preposterous, Relationships, Silly, Star Watt, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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13-Mar-2021


We Can Be Heroes (2020) Bites

It's a kid's film. There are kids in it. It looks like candy. It's stupid. You mean brilliant stupid? No I mean silly stupid. 29-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Art Devoid, Baby Wrecks, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Coincidence Laden, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Corn, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Grating, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preposterous, Revenge, Sad Effects, SciFi, Shrill Act, Silly, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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29-Dec-2020


Christmas Project, The (2016) Whimper

The adventures of future supremacists as they waft through their own battlefield of family traditions and alpha bullying. The parents are ditzoids driving their children to partake of a Christmas tradition called Elving. You leave presents on the doorsteps of needy/hopeless families everyday until Christmas. The town bullies are on the roster this year. The tween female interest cements hardons and impels macho competitions. She looks 20 while the boys look 8. Reality rarely sneaks in and there is no character to get attached to. I pictured future supremacist twink getting married in prison to his alpha bully supreme as he forever pays black fit homeless grand daddies with raspy voices for some sugar. The kindly school bus driver was black. 25-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Corn, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Holiday, Mean Spirited, Tacky, Twinkie, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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25-Dec-2020


Happiest Season (2020) Whimper

Lesbian with bad wig exploits girlfriend with bad dye job by coercing her to celebrate the holidays with her cult (family.) In-laws suck no matter how much they pretend. That sinking feeling you get is the truest. I thought that being loud and proud would supply Kristen Stewart with a personality but she remains dry ice. Maybe she's the wrong sex. I don't know where she was but she wasn't here. Dan Levy proves why I won't watch his Creek's shit. Just because the character is useless doesn't mean you can't steal it. I would have sexually cheated my way out of there and said fuck you to Whoville pudding.

(Uh oh. It ends in lesbian violence. No fucking kidding. They knock down a Christmas tree and everything.) 20-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Cliche, Corn, Drag, Drama, Gay, Grating, Maddening, Manipulation, No Chemistry, Preachy, Relationships, Silly, Star Watt, Static, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid

Filed under: TV

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20-Dec-2020


Christmas Setup, The (2020) Whimper

A demure mouse and his follower spend Christmas with his mom to opine their inability to succeed at anything. Frilly city gay meets country dorky gay. It's a gay love story with grand support from a fairy goddess (Fran Drescher.) She huffs and puffs but everyone else is yawning. The romantic leads need some Goya beans to create a spark and Lifetime needs to do better impassioning the male community with quality man product. 15-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, By the Numbers, Corn, Disappointment, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay, Holiday, Juvenile, No Chemistry, Silly, Timid

Filed under: TV

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15-Dec-2020


A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish (2019)  Arf

Cindy fends an exploitative Jenner stepmom and abominable Kardashian sisters. The music is cute, the twink prince can break daddy dick and crush virgin vagina and its existence is Christmas cheer. Adorable! 24-Nov-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Corn, Crapfun, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Pretty, Relationships, Sentimental, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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24-Nov-2020


Smurfs: The Lost Village (2017) Bites

Surprise. Eliminating Hank Azaria as Gargamel does not make a Smurf franchise better. Besides being objectified, gangbanged and being a procreator, Smurfette is confused about her purpose. She goes on an unenviable adventure to find herself amid little care from the audience. The best stories do not have big bang adventures. They stay close to home so we can empathize with them. Girl Smurf explores and becomes at Lesbian Forest but returns to Smurf Village for the bangs. Sounds about right. 09-Nov-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action Stomper, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Corn, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Fantasy, Fatigue, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Tacky, Vague, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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09-Nov-2020


Crawl (2019) Woof

Alexandre Aja is not a wordmeister. His muscles pop when monster creation plows in, the action roars and we jump. (The flashbacks killed the element of surprise.) 03-Jul-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Corn, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fresh, Kool Effects, Over the Top, Scary, Suspense, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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03-Jul-2020


Assimilate (2019) Bites

Misunderstanding the mythology of the "pod people" and mishandling how to apply it to this generation. They twinkled it, legitimized it, repeated it and fudged it.

Ideas:

Social Media is our pod and we are its people.

It arrives from a dead planet. An alien-camouflaging organism that can only do so, temporarily with the environment. It needs a human to survive. I know, I know... make Mexicans immune! You want to scare us, don't you? 20-Jun-2020

Tags: 2010s, Bad Acting, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Corn, Director Slouch, Drama, Ear Prick, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Grating, Horror, Mystery, Over the Top, Predictable, Remake, SciFi, Silly, Timid

Filed under: Movies

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20-Jun-2020




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