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All Posts Tagged as 'Predictable'

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Undertone (2025) Whimper

A daughter cares for her comatose mother whilst hosting a mystery show that entices viewers with myths and facts. The premise only works if the source of the terror (the show) weren't so basic. I could not concoct the visuals necessary to instill fear from the audio presented. Video might have fixed that. Bumps in the night and sleight of hand make up the scares. The film was working towards authenticity but missed being that by not allowing the actors to work for it. When mama falls off the bed daughter is shown off camera helping her back. I wanted to see the struggle of an actor turning a thought into an action. It would have been inspiring. Nina Kiri carries the weight of the film because the support was invisible. Someone needed to physically free her of the constraints. The crust was decent but the pie not so much. 07-Jul-2026

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Coincidence Laden, Creepy, Director Experiment, Disappointment, Drama, Horror, Horror Mild, Predictable, Preposterous, Questionable, Silly, Slow, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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07-Jul-2026


Ready or Not 2: Here I Come (2026) Bites

It felt like a TV sequel of a film. The silliness tired and the action stall tactics were irresponsible. It was an unrealistic interruption to dire situations and it happened often. The sisters had a dynamic but it relied on harping about the same subject whose urgency no longer mattered. Change the subject. The film kept going around in circles which didn't help with sleep. The cast were in a fun movie I wasn't privy to. I think I stayed because I wanted to see Ms. Weaver get clean. She did and it was the only gift. 03-Jul-2026

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Camp, Cheeky Acting, Cliche, Coincidence Laden, Disappointment, Drama, Good Acting, Horror, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Sequel, Silly, Star Watt, Trashy, TV-like

Filed under: Movies

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03-Jul-2026


Black Phone 2 (2025) Bites

Wonder Twins versus Freddy Krueger. Sister's superpower is to have 4K dreams of abused boys and brother makes public phones ring. Sibling effects after surviving catastrophe doesn't blend with their present choices. What makes them think they can help anyone when they should be avoiding mental imbalance by obsessing over teenage things. The set-up was an excuse and the love interest looked like the brother which kept jolting me awake confused as to why she was making out with her brother. The film tries tying all it's knots together but they don't hold and it gives way to Carrie/Pazuzu awakenings and It tomfoolery. Boys without dicks equal women with power. 18-May-2026

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Coincidence Laden, Corn, Crapfun, Disappointment, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Questionable, Repetitive, Silly, Stupid Funny, Tedium, Timid, Writer Weakness

Filed under: Movies

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18-May-2026


Apex (2026) BitesEarly Exit

I left as soon as "McAvoy" Jr. brought out the crossbow. 30-Apr-2026
It took me back to River Wild, extreme action hijinx, cliches, that Netflix movie with an almost Lantern, River Wild redone and Fall whose intro is the only one forgiven. I wanted to make a video out of the exact same starters. A hint of salvation is established when daddy Bana argues a case against Charlize and she warms but then never breaks from hardass. The character deserves her outcome. Outbacking like a liberal vegan with no protection does not a hero make. Extreme stunts are suicidal adventures. A catastrophe is an awakening not a forward force. Women need to be soft too. Once you start squirming in bed without pleasure you must look elsewhere. 30-Apr-2026

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Bad Acting, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Early Exit, Fatigue, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Questionable, Revenge, Timid

Filed under: Movies

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30-Apr-2026


Oh. What. Fun. (2025) Whimper

Michelle keeps us in place because her depiction of a thinly written character was hard to resist. She made us believe that she believed in those emotions. If she weren't in it I would have bowed out. The capable support were cutouts from an era I'm not familiar with. Most of the conversations and threads made no sense and people don't/shouldn't react that way. The able support is saddled with lame dialogue and situations that didn't resonate. Poor Jason got the worst of it. Stalking young lesbians that are related is creepy. The point was definite with no space to grow emotionally. We know exactly where it's headed in the first few minutes. A woman's choice to free herself of ingratitude is to become vacuous. An injection of tenderness and subtlety was desperately needed. 08-Dec-2025

Tags: 2020s, Comedy, Disappointment, Drama, Egotistical, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Grating, Holiday, Juvenile, Mean Spirited, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Silly, Star Watt, Weird, Writ Thin

Filed under: TV

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08-Dec-2025


Fear Street: Prom Night (2025) Bites

I had to re-check to make sure this tale took place in the 80's because the nod was subtle. The hair looked as shitty as it currently stands, a classic soundtrack was wasted, the kills were so matter of fact that I didn't care, the players were off-kilter and unsustainable, Carrie was the only film that properly explained how a shut out can become a Prom Queen, it's called mapping, the Prom King didn't even decorate, Lilli Taylor is harsh for our time and harsher for theirs. The ambiguity is obnoxious and not true to it's date. The relationships needed stronger emotional situations to stick. Did the besties experiment sexually and one crushed while the other's heterosexuality blossomed? Who knows? Just dress her up as a man and let the kids figure it out. We don't do stories. Dude, you can't have a dance-off with one girl twirling and the other fainting. It was hilariously ridiculous. Why are most high school students categorized on film? I was in the middle. I rarely encountered these people. I've seen a lot of this before, done correctly. 24-May-2025

Tags: 2020s, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Cold, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Drama, Horror, Manipulation, Music Swings, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Retread, Silly, Tacky

Filed under: Movies

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24-May-2025


Black Mirror (2023-) Arf

S7E 1-3. "Common People" held my interest but self destructed because the lessons were cruel. "Bette Noire" induces panic at the threat of another being outsourced by science. If the logic had taken cues from the performers the tale would have sailed. The science needed simpler explanations because current earthlings can't think that far. "Hotel Reverie" was beguiling but miscast it's heroine. The idea that you can enter a pre-existing film is destabilizing. Issa Rae was a stereotype of what a butch lesbian might look like in the 30's. I never sorted her out. She seemed misplaced. Awkwafina was auditioning for future jobs which meant she did well. The episode played it safe, being black, a doctor and lacking lesbian enthusiasm, isn't noble. The first thing film folks from another world would have noticed is how could a black woman attach a horse's tail to her head? The old movie actors tried but the fable failed for lack of passion. 22-May-2025
S6E1. Joan Is Awful is fun until buffoonery steps in. I refused to change my brain frequency to understand it. S6E2. Diversity appeared out of sorts in a Scottish mystery that was dull, basic and predictable. I couldn't wait for it to end. E3. Beyond the Sea. I didn't have to pretend my mathematical rationality was misfiring. Perfectly constructed and understandable. The actors leant it broadway huff and puff. The watts illuminated emotional longing. Aaron Paul had an opportunity to steal and he took it, succeeding in hosting more than one spirit. Josh Hartnett plugs sweaty emotion into an astronaut whose reason for life has ended. Kate Mara is an other. The era suits Mara and her beautiful chops. S6E4. Mazey Day. Resembling Brittney Spears is not reason enough to grant a stranger mercy. S6E5. Trash that you shuck out the window after inspecting it. Beyond The Sea was the exception to mediocrity. It was great. 18-Jun-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Drama, Good Acting, Horror, Predictable, Questionable, Revenge, Sci-Fi, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Timid, Vague, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: TV

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22-May-2025


Gladiator II (2024) Arf

Well assembled rendition of what's been done before. The story had little impact and cliched emotions. The actors and the spectacle are worthy with little help from the script. Entertainment without soul. 09-May-2025

Tags: 2020s, Action, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Predictable, Revenge, Star Watt, Timid, Violent, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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09-May-2025


Speak No Evil (2024) Whimper

The only thing that banged was McAvoy's body. It was grade A daddy meat. His villain was a parody of elements. The outline kept to its namesake. There were no surprises, leaps or bounds. It frustrated more than it scared, Americans are not "that" nice, women are less, no man sleeps with baby girl and gets away with it. The bunny dependency was a cheat. "Fuck bunny! Do you wanna die?!!!!" Home we go. 13-Apr-2025

Tags: 2020s, Cheeky Acting, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Horror Mild, Predictable, Relationships, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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13-Apr-2025


Smile 2 (2024) Arf

A frown is a smile upside down. 10-Apr-2025
I thought of something. Rebrand it as "The Frown." 09-Apr-2025
Naomi Scott created a character that was easy to understand and interesting to follow. The plot was basic. Many things seemed random. An out of the blue character always appears to explain the rules. The mythology is so vague that explanations became invalid. I still don't know what was real or not. I was committed because Ms. Scott was master tripping on emotions. I concocted many scenarios but I couldn't accept the smile thing (Joker thoughts), the mythology (not Buffy) or the scares (Terrifier-centric.) 09-Apr-2025

Tags: 2020s, Crapfun, Disappointment, Drama, Good Acting, Horror, Indecipherable, Magnetism, Predictable, Preposterous, Star Watt, Suspense, Vague, Violent, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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10-Apr-2025


Kraven: The Hunter - (2024) Whimper

It had elements that would have created art and stir the heart. It's depressing. The drab appearance lacks animation color. Having no love interest, the vigilante turned hero has no one to pull him back when he goes beyond animal. Kraven's father had only one thought. Don't be weak. He says it in almost every scene with him and his brother. The brother bond doesn't coalesce beyond physical distance which made me not care. Ariana DeBose surprised me. I had no idea that she was Calypso. They missed an opportunity not making her a voodoo priestess because the religion is real and she's scary as fuck. Tagging the Chameleon instead of exposing him was also a waste. The daddies were ready to blow things up but the words in conversation lacked thought. The action sequences were enjoyably brutal, the Rhino took too long to become, Calypso could have been given more to do and villains can only become good after a hero beats them, again, again and again. 15-Mar-2025

Tags: 2020s, Action, Comic Book, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Disappointment, Drama, Predictable, Repetitive, Revenge, Silly, Star Watt, Violent, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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15-Mar-2025


Venom: The Last Dance (2024) Whimper

It's more of an exercise than it is an accomplishment. I stayed tuned because the man who cracks dicks with his ass is charming as fuck. None of the support matches him. The symbiotes' history did not have enough humanity to make me care. The action sequences depended heavily on coincidence. The chemistry between Mrs. Chen and Mr. Hardy was wasted. The threat was so surreal that it became mute. I stayed to memorize Hardy's butt but he didn't turn around much. 01-Mar-2025

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, Cheeky Acting, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Grating, Manipulation, Oncer, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Weird, Writer Humiliation, Writer Weakness

Filed under: Movies

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01-Mar-2025


La Palma (2024) Arf

I was invested until the end. The characters had depth and appeal but made little sense. In what world do children overreact because their parents are arguing? Teens don't give a fuck. I didn't understand the rift between mom and dad. He promised to acquiesce to her regiment but chose happiness instead. She dreams of a proper dick that can soothe her needs and hubby acknowledges that by drinking 3 vase beers every night. What's wrong with that? Autism should never be utilized as a gimmick. No regular person would ever figure out those coordinates. They would die. Fake comebacks are exhausting and disrespectful to artists who actually wring emotions out of concept. A disaster movie without climate deaths is like Godzilla with no breath. The parting of the ocean was only seconds. You can't be edgy or effective if the description is it's like Swiss Family Robinson without a budget...or deaths...except that guy in the back. 24-Dec-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Daddy Squish, Disaster, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Juvenile, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Timid, Tired, Vague, Warbly, Words Spoke, Writ Thin

Filed under: TV

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24-Dec-2024


Ultimatum, The (2024) ArfDowngrade

I get anxious whenever I hear Sandy's voice. She sounds like a spoiled housewife with a lozenge stuck in her throat and her reasoning for everything is ludicrous. I was disappointed that the Lacheys did not comfort Nick for having strong feelings about Sandy's infidelity. She claims that her and JR only kissed twice but cameras beg to differ. There were make-out sessions with extra cuddles under the sheets with no wet willies or stiff underwoods guaranteed and the bedbugs elicited the moans the cameramen thought they heard. Madame Web has spun her web and entrapped two gullible and dependent men in it. She is no victim. She likes them because they are not superheroes but think they are. I'm surprised the Lacheys didn't suggest JR whip out his dick for Nick (not Lachey) to suck. They humiliated that man mercilessly. Sandy brings out the toxic in me. TG it's almost over. Everything JR says is nonsense. Big men don't pretend they're on Fantasy Island on Max, don't want to get married but can't shut up about wanting it and oozes hostility when the jig is up. Is Zaina buying JR's love or paying for her exit? I still dig Caleb. He's the only one who tried to stand up to reason. His mystery deepens. He exists in his own little planet of misfit toys crashing onto earth. He acts like an over-chilled teen that mommy Mariah is afraid to disappoint because he will rebel and she'll have to have sex post relationship. When the original couples reunited it turned into a "how was school today, honey?" type scenario. After cashing in all the vouchers the producers promised them, every person was enlightened, the fairy tale is real, men never get woodies while cuddling, that bitch was not crying over her dog or JR, women are consumed by victimhood, asshole parents make asshole children who want to make more asshole children, the producers made them say that because 4 people thought the show was shit and this has been a turned-off season. 13-Dec-2024
Zaina and J.R. came to play. Neither has regard for the other or anybody else. Sandy came to annoy her lover and fuck hot shit. J.R. disrespected every man when he barred his fake wife from consoling her desperate husband after finding out their intimacy went too far. Morality clauses state that all couples must break up before embarking in new matrimony. Nick came to lose it, get free psychotherapy and nerve pills. Caleb's mellow puts me in a trance and it's why I presume Mariah is well-spoken but blank. He turns them into robots. He's sexy until he starts re-programming you. He turned Aria into a Stepford. 4 people woke up and realized the madness of The Lacheys and abruptly departed like in the island of Dr. Moreau. Exactly how many other people did the Lacheys fuck to realize they belong together? After the contestants departed the show became insecure and gave us more of what we didn't want. J. R. and Sandy's horny gas lighting. I want to fuck them both and hand them over to Pazuzu for some lady cement and calf extensions. You bet I'd watch the porn tape, but make no mistakes these aren't marrying candidates. They want to get married so they can pretend to be happy whilst performing diabolical sexual acts on others. J.R. and Sandy deserve most unfeeling humans honors. Nick should have been given an ultimatum, to cruise establishments that cater to singles and find another match or the experiment is over for the whore. "J.R., please remove your dick from my future wife's face." 08-Dec-2024

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Celebrity, Crapfun, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Drama, From Another Planet, Fun, Grating, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, NSFW, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Political, Predictable, Preposterous, Psychological, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Repetitive, Sap, Scary, Sex, Showy, Shrill Act, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Talk, Trashy, Warbly, Weird, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ Basic, Writ Thin

Filed under: TV

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13-Dec-2024


Our Little Secret (2024) Arf

Lindsay Lohan made me realize why charismatic actors lose their mojo. Are they uncomfortable and think that everyone is going to judge every word they say? Yes. I want her to flare up again. She's almost there. She needs a challenge. My favorite fairy legend wastes her magic on shitty lines. If the writers have nothing valid for her to say, let her sing. Ian Hardy was a trip. I couldn't place him. He was that cutie asshole that always irked me, for sure. Of course, he was the perverted teacher that dated his underage students on PLL. Every time he smirked he resurrected a part of Norman Bates. The idea that a woman would want to keep that she dated a Darren Stephens the Second type a secret was astonishing. Just because it's fluff doesn't mean we shouldn't try to say something. 02-Dec-2024

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Corn, Disappointment, Drama, Holiday, Predictable, Relationships, Romance, Sap, Silly, Star Watt, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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02-Dec-2024




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