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All Posts Tagged as 'Predictable'

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Love Island (2019-) BitesUpgrade

Women are pursuing these motherfuckers because there is a cash prize at the end, correct? I don't remember Reuben. There was nothing to latch onto. Josh must choose to be blacker or whiter. Yes, I had a doll that looked like Blade. Hugo combs his hair in reverse. I bet Konnor is a fantastic one nighter. Will must be hung. Joey is a doll. Sean is Jimmy Oleson. Ayo, we pray for you. I would have barbecued Trey like he was a lobster. Moziah reeks of beauty and nature. Ciaran has too many identities going on. 11-Jul-2024
Gays undercover have no idea how to deal with female toxicity. 06-Aug-2021
Gays undercover are still saving women. Men with sexual dysfunctions agreed to remain in their original coupling. Men think women are stupider than them because they believe everything they say. 30-Jul-2021
S3E9. The men are playing football, faking the women into doing behind the scenes porn in front of the team, their family and friends. Gay boys are undercover to make sure the rejected puppies don't get tackled. It's cheating but the show has an image to uphold. May the best cock win! 26-Jul-2021

Tags: 2010s, Best In Horror, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Juvenile, NSFW, Predictable, Reality, Repetitive, Sexist, Static, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Tired

Filed under: TV

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11-Jul-2024


Oppenheimer (2023) Arf

I understand the importance of the man who did something incredible for his country. A race to be the first superpower to create the best weapon science has to offer. Robert Downey had problems looking sincere being white in a black and white picture. His cranium didn't look right. Jesse Plemons and Matt Damon should play brothers and Ben Affleck must play the hated stepbrother. Daddy Josh was a beholding sight. Florence Pugh showed up to fuck and flip her acting light switch on and off, again. The wind did a better job of styling Emily's hair than the stylist. That's what beautiful hair is supposed to look like. Emily's acting switch was constant. Her story didn't expand. There was more that I wanted to know about her but I was being hypnotized by psychedelics and uniforms. You can't be suspended for three hours and not fall down throughout. There wasn't much keeping it afloat. No action and little surprises. It felt professionally cold. Really, what's an atomic bomb movie without Godzilla, destroying cities? Were moviegoers using Barbenheimer to sleep?
 22-Jun-2024

Tags: 2020s, Disappointment, Drama, Inactivity, Political, Predictable, Repetitive, Sexy, Tedium, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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22-Jun-2024


Mean Girls (2023) Arf

A rom-com is conversion therapy for those who don't believe in fairy tales. I saw a handheld camera at the beginning and almost blacked out but then something cute happened. It moved like Grease and had the aroma of a pink lady. It kept me in with mixed results. The music had word limitations and they repeated nonsensical lines that make only cartoon baby sharks squeak. Was no thesaurus available when the music was written? The mean girls were lame and avenged by dorky plans. The cast was bubbly. The lesson was that anybody can be a mean girl. You fix her by allowing her to steal someone else's hot dick to fuck and hope she never calls you again. 10-Jun-2024

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Musical, Over the Top, Predictable, Relationships, Star Watt, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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10-Jun-2024


Wish (2023) Bites

I tried watching through the eyes of a child and it confused me. What do you mean that man has my wish. I made ten wishes yesterday and two came true. I don't even remember that one wish everybody's talking about. Fuck it. It's only one. The film has Ariana DeBose energy and a Barbie stance. DeBose is so excited to show us what she's got that she faux climaxes before she has to. Some of the songs actually sounded musical. Pine's Shatner was so good that it stunk. The last man with a working penis is stealing little girl dreams. (None of the dreams were to marry a man to save them?) The women and some of their friends band together to destroy him. Some of the friends consisted of weak or mentally disabled boys and feeble grandfathers with no reach. I presume we had to look towards the animals to find culture representation. No gays in sight. Sophia The First looked better than this and brought the magic. One of Disney's junkiest animations. 28-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Animation, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Cheeky Acting, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Grating, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Preachy, Predictable, Shrill Act, Silly, Trashy, Vague, Weird, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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28-Apr-2024


Ripley (2024-) Whimper

Johnny Flynn did not make me understand why anybody would envy Dickie's life enough to steal it. Dakota Fanning was misused. She never really progressed past her harsh demeanor. She needed the director to shake the professionalism out of her. She was supposed to be the heart and the meat of the story but there was little proof the character had any. I would have air horned her when she couldn't say Dickie with a straight face. Why were the details so repetitive and why did I have to look up Caravaggio to understand what the killer was all about? Because, besides talking to dead people, it's complicated. Inspector Ravini added a shot of testosterone to the murky blunders. He was a beautiful respite from Ripley's underwhelming reactions. Unfortunately, the Lucy episode betrayed him. The idea that Scott could play both characters in front of an expert investigator, whilst sporting a goatee and messy hair and not get found out was a slap in the face of the entire investigation and series. Even Ricky wasn't that stupid. Ripley never got to spaz out. Bummer. Dickie was never pictured in the papers when they thought he was missing and when he was wanted for murder. The cops didn't go door to door with a picture of Dickie asking the hotel clerks if they've seen this man. Why? Woodbine showed up again for no reason other than to fill his quota. He also kept his eyes mostly closed. Comprehension did not seem feasible at that point. 19-Apr-2024
E5. You can't ask a fish to play a canine. Instead of using it's time to add depth to other characters it kept depending on only one artist. It is not feasible that a person of his character would return to the scene of the crime and less feasible that nobody would care. Details that read well were ignorantly distributed. I read the original book, was entertained by the film and remembered it wasn't this boring. 17-Apr-2024
E3. Of course I'm still mad that they didn't supply any crayons for the coloring book but papito's italian accent made up for it. He added finality to certain words and made them linger with musicality. I crinkled half the book joyously laughing. I pinched him and hugged myself. 16-Apr-2024
E2. I'm losing patience. It doesn't matter what spectrum an actor falls into, when asked to play a boy, they better act like one. 14-Apr-2024
E1. Black and white can be a statement, the past and or a representation. Schindler's List was black and white so the violence wouldn't be glamorized and the subject exploited. I have no idea why this interpretation needs to be in black and white. It's insurmountable misery. The ambience is french/italian movies from the 60's that bored or didn't easily make sense. It shouldn't be noir. Paper Moon? The Little Rascals? It's not Hitchcock. If the black participants hadn't kept their eyes open, I wouldn't have noticed them. I recognized Woodbine's name after the credits. Who did he play exactly? Yes, the shadow at the bar. The mystery sweeps, the movement is slow but the leads keep you interested.

(Cutest swimsuit ever!) 13-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Insulting, Lifestyle, Magnetism, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Silly, Slow, Star Watt, Tedium, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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19-Apr-2024


Anatomy Of A Fall (2023) Arf

Shots were placed strategically, playing P.I.M.P. on rotation filled the house with dread and the dog tore up his scenes. The lead played it one-sided which gave away the outcome. There was no Bette Davis conniver in her spirit. The film never strays from repeating the same story from different angles. It becomes exhausting to sit through. It needed to give the audience a break from the same subject. The clues fell so easily on the writer's lap that no surprises were forthcoming. They coerced the kid to pick a side but the director didn't. 22-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Coincidence Laden, Creepy, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Director's Touch, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Music Swings, Predictable, Psychological, Relationships, Repetitive, Sentimental, Star Watt, Subtle, Timid, Too Long, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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22-Mar-2024


Five Nights At Freddys (2023) Bites

It was difficult to establish how the animatronics were killing people. They never showed it. It was directed for wimps who are scared of horror movies. The reason for living animatronics is an overused one. They couldn't be aliens? How the fuck did that animatronic get in the car? They do not bend easily. How many times did we have to relive Josh's memories? We got it the first time. 07-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Cliche, Depressing, Director Slouch, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Horror, Horror Mild, Oncer, Predictable, Preposterous, Silly, Tacky

Filed under: Movies

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07-Mar-2024


Marvels, The (2023) Bites

The film suffers from The Green Lantern and Quantum effect. If the creators wanted to take us to other worlds, the trip needed to be worth it. Skrulls with no power are obsolete. I think they took the green screen too literally. Most of the actors looked like they were talking to the back-heads of stand-ins or more green screens. The ladies became 3 instruments that didn't play well together. Distance was put between them. The glowey thing that Capt. Marvel displays when she's on, reminds one of the Quantum sky. Another action killer was giving the women the same power effect. So we don't distinguish or because it was easier? The big bad could only have gotten better had they cast that crazy lady from the Power Rangers. I thought Dar-Benn was blind for the first few minutes of the film. If she looked down, would her head-piece have fallen off? All the ladies came as they are because hair and makeup were in a rush to return to social media. They looked unkempt and shook. They would never dare look this ratched on the red carpet where fans aren't paying them to create movie magic. Somber heroes zigzagging to nowhere for nobody. I never thought of Monica Rambeau as interesting, I liked Kamala on the smaller screen but... and we all know what Carol Danvers is. The reason I liked female heroines was because they were a break from extremism and added a softer solution to the action and they were beautiful. If women keep denying themselves in order to become men, hugs will be cancelled. They can do anything? Be a girl. Good hair, make-up and dress will fulfill the rest. See: Barbie. Imagine if she was ugly and without sex appeal. No mucho $. Musicland was an in-law family situation humiliation activity. Nobody swags like they care so why bother? Was Frasier the only white man allowed in the building or was he CGId? 07-Feb-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Cold, Comic Book, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Hands Off Approach, Fantasy, Girlie Movie, Lesbian, Over the Top, Predictable, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Sap, Sequel, Shrill Act, Silly, Stink Wigs, Tacky, Timid, TV-like, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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07-Feb-2024


Trevor Noah: Where Was I (2023) WhimperEarly Exit

Noah plays Detroit and spends most of his time talking about Germany's history (who cares) and woke shit (ack) that is not proven. He thinks he was there. He has nothing relevant to say, is not as funny as Matt Rife and is a little racist. 28-Dec-2023

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Cliche, Comedy, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Egotistical, Insulting, Pitchy, Politics, Preachy, Predictable, Stand-Up, Tacky, Tedium, Unfunny, Writ Basic

Filed under: TV

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28-Dec-2023


Blue Beetle (2023) Bites

The pace had no time to set-up character appreciation, it had a billion particles to settle. The family dynamic was food, drink, celebration and insanity. George Lopez added comedy schtick to his act. He looked like a character booted from Bedrock because he was too loud and ornery. The breast queen should be playing Lady MacBeth not becoming a free TV actor. I can see her washing blood from her hands and implementing Elvira's cleavage cut. The rest of the family and the leads apply stereotypes without explaining them. There is no such thing as a stereotype because it's only a description of our heritage. Universal speak. Nobody passed the classic TV Q test and the silliness hardly stopped. The best of the mythology turned into a fiesta. The family went everywhere together. Really? When did they masturbate? Why did the family get superpowers? Beetle's nemesis was a bigger and badder version of himself. Couldn't we have gotten something a little different? If the production wanted to fill the female quota, why didn't they concoct some awesome female villains? He has lots and no villain is scarier than a latin woman scorned. She'll slash your tires. 27-Nov-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comedy, Cultural, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Revenge, Sap, Shrill Act, Timid, Trashy, TV-like, Vague, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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27-Nov-2023


Fall Of House Of Usher, The (2023) Arf

I understood the excuses but I didn't get the obscurity. The finale was a realization of how much of a merry-go-round the production put us through. The Final Destination kills should have ascended from that. When you add magic to horror it teeters on fanto realism. It made my head overload...with questions. Where was Lenore when daddy redecorated her mother's room? She asks to see her mom 5 days later? I believe one of the Dupin's got taller? Bless you, Sir Hamill. Once his character clicks we look forward to seeing him again. The mumbo jumbo accommodated what was easiest for the storytellers. The merry go round speeds up, there are few surprises but the cast and dialogue are superb. What fabulous creature is Gugino's character supposed to be? Is Pinhead her boss? I hope it's the girl one. 21-Oct-2023
SE5. There are so many crisp performances to marvel at. The story captivates but the horror aspect diminishes it. Whenever he gets a vision, we realize how the next victim will die. Stretching the story doesn't mean much if it once ended up in the trash because it contained too much information. The flashbacks are served nilly willy. The saboteur has no meaning but I love her. Poe's themes are observed but not acknowledged. When a creator succumbs to the title of the story he is manipulating things to fit not click. 20-Oct-2023
S1E2. Succession musical score adaptation is too blatant and soon to describe rich family hierarchy. The actors play it well but the characters are as interchangeable as their sexual proclivities. The scares are great ideas that are poorly executed. The mother's beginning is a testament of that. It should be scary but it's not, it didn't grip or create empathy. Flanagan name drops everything but the art he's pilfering. The story does not flatter Gugino and her character is beyond mysterious. I heard Hamill do a Joker laugh and I was amused. Flanagan still hasn't figured out how to shoot in the dark. The admirable parts are the ones created by accident. 19-Oct-2023

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Good Dialogue, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Horror, I wish it could look better, Music Rocks, Overcooked, Predictable, Relationships, Revenge, Sex, Star Watt, Suspense, Vague, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

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21-Oct-2023


Fear In The Night (1972) Arf

Angelic training makes a wife susceptible to malice because they are mentally unstable. Legends of art accelerated the drama. The table turn was sweet and the film wasn't a horrible waste of time. 22-Jul-2023

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cliche, Crapfun, Disappointment, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Horror Mild, Predictable, Preposterous, Psychological, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Silly, Suspense, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: Movies

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22-Jul-2023


Knock At The Cabin (2023) Whimper

The first shot aspired to greatness. People sharing the same belief targeted for survival. Dave Bautista jumped off the page and ended up a Lex Luthor on some greater planet. The director doomed art with mumbo jumbo and lucky coins. I mentally conducted scenes before they happened. The kid was cute but I totally wanted her to be a M3GN. They filleted a Harry Potter veteran before his time and Ben Aldrige's identity were his well crafted legs. I'm fuzzy on his face, though. Jonathan Groff chose Edith Bunker likability as his acting inspiration, he was a dowdy housewife with the spirit of a freedom fighter. The director separated reality from conflict and ruined the whole thing. 28-Jun-2023

Tags: 2020s, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: Movies

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28-Jun-2023


Black Mirror (2023-) Arf

S6E1. Joan Is Awful is fun until buffoonery steps in. I refused to change my brain frequency to understand it. S6E2. Diversity appeared out of sorts in a Scottish mystery that was dull, basic and predictable. I couldn't wait for it to end. E3. Beyond the Sea. I didn't have to pretend my mathematical rationality was misfiring. Perfectly constructed and understandable. The actors leant it broadway huff and puff. The watts illuminated emotional longing. Aaron Paul had an opportunity to steal and he took it, succeeding in hosting more than one spirit. Josh Hartnett plugs sweaty emotion into an astronaut whose reason for life has ended. Kate Mara is an other. The era suits Mara and her beautiful chops. S6E4. Mazey Day. Resembling Brittney Spears is not reason enough to grant a stranger mercy. S6E5. Trash that you shuck out the window after inspecting it. Beyond The Sea was the exception to mediocrity. It was great. 18-Jun-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Drama, Good Acting, Horror, Predictable, Questionable, Revenge, Sci-Fi, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Timid, Vague, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: TV

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19-Jun-2023


Married At First Sight UK (2015-) Woof

Reunion. I was put off that Hades and his minions had ceased to judge then I realized that not all foreign reality shows are made in the cryptic depths of Australia. The black judge is either gay or giddy. Jordan thinks that his supremacism won't show if he romances the same black subject five years later. George escaped from the Arkham Asylum. No George, you cannot control this chick because you can't sexually satisfy her. Kwame has James Bond issues. The lesbians are happy with any kind of pussy, even if it doesn't eat dog food. Hey judges, gay men can marry sisters but they fuck men. The pronoun starts with cis. If the lesbians can get one with a bow tie we can get one lousy butch. They exist. They made us. The supremacist stopped the show by being supreme. He dumped a weighty issue by adopting a more politically correct one. Thou mustn't abuse the power called race. We're running away together, bitch! If you complain you'll sound like a racist because she's black! Instant GET OUT OF JAIL card. 16-Jun-2023

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Egotistical, Fun Acting, Funny, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Juvenile, Lifestyle, Pitchy, Predictable, Relationships, Romance, Silly, Tacky, Trashy, Writ Basic

Filed under: TV

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16-Jun-2023




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