Lindsay Lohan made me realize why charismatic actors lose their mojo. Are they uncomfortable and think that everyone is going to judge every word they say? Yes. I want her to flare up again. She's almost there. She needs a challenge. My favorite fairy legend wastes her magic on shitty lines. If the writers have nothing valid for her to say, let her sing. Ian Hardy was a trip. I couldn't place him. He was that cutie asshole that always irked me, for sure. Of course, he was the perverted teacher that dated his underage students on PLL. Every time he smirked he resurrected a part of Norman Bates. The idea that a woman would want to keep that she dated a Darren Stephens the Second type a secret was astonishing. Just because it's fluff doesn't mean we shouldn't try to say something. 02-Dec-2024

The child did extraordinary things, quoted words not associated with children and plagiarized previous strokes. The last minute saves were so expected that emotional attachment got lost. Melissa Barrera gave Faith from Buffy vibes. Dan Stevens was blank. The first surprise is like everything before it. Once the cat is out of the bag the movie falls into WB TV status. Yes, it was a surprise but a sucky one. 28-Nov-2024

The circumstances are creepy and claustrophobic, the era is that "time of the month" and the outcome is numb. Paulson gives more than it deserves. The daughters are convincing. The pace is nerve wracking. The scares were substantial. How does a person survive in an area nature doesn't want them in? Paulson is an easy follow but the ending copped out. 08-Oct-2024

The foreplay was good, they achieved stimulation but the climax didn't happen. 17-Aug-2024

I understand the importance of the man who did something incredible for his country. A race to be the first superpower to create the best weapon science has to offer. Robert Downey had problems looking sincere being white in a black and white picture. His cranium didn't look right. Jesse Plemons and Matt Damon should play brothers and Ben Affleck must play the hated stepbrother. Daddy Josh was a beholding sight. Florence Pugh showed up to fuck and flip her acting light switch on and off, again. The wind did a better job of styling Emily's hair than the stylist. That's what beautiful hair is supposed to look like. Emily's acting switch was constant. Her story didn't expand. There was more that I wanted to know about her but I was being hypnotized by psychedelics and uniforms. You can't be suspended for three hours and not fall down throughout. There wasn't much keeping it afloat. No action and little surprises. It felt professionally cold. Really, what's an atomic bomb movie without Godzilla, destroying cities? Were moviegoers using Barbenheimer to sleep?
 22-Jun-2024

A rom-com is conversion therapy for those who don't believe in fairy tales. I saw a handheld camera at the beginning and almost blacked out but then something cute happened. It moved like Grease and had the aroma of a pink lady. It kept me in with mixed results. The music had word limitations and they repeated nonsensical lines that make only cartoon baby sharks squeak. Was no thesaurus available when the music was written? The mean girls were lame and avenged by dorky plans. The cast was bubbly. The lesson was that anybody can be a mean girl. You fix her by allowing her to steal someone else's hot dick to fuck and hope she never calls you again. 10-Jun-2024

I tried watching through the eyes of a child and it confused me. What do you mean that man has my wish. I made ten wishes yesterday and two came true. I don't even remember that one wish everybody's talking about. Fuck it. It's only one. The film has Ariana DeBose energy and a Barbie stance. DeBose is so excited to show us what she's got that she faux climaxes before she has to. Some of the songs actually sounded musical. Pine's Shatner was so good that it stunk. The last man with a working penis is stealing little girl dreams. (None of the dreams were to marry a man to save them?) The women and some of their friends band together to destroy him. Some of the friends consisted of weak or mentally disabled boys and feeble grandfathers with no reach. I presume we had to look towards the animals to find culture representation. No gays in sight. Sophia The First looked better than this and brought the magic. One of Disney's junkiest animations. 28-Apr-2024

Shots were placed strategically, playing P.I.M.P. on rotation filled the house with dread and the dog tore up his scenes. The lead played it one-sided which gave away the outcome. There was no Bette Davis conniver in her spirit. The film never strays from repeating the same story from different angles. It becomes exhausting to sit through. It needed to give the audience a break from the same subject. The clues fell so easily on the writer's lap that no surprises were forthcoming. They coerced the kid to pick a side but the director didn't. 22-Mar-2024

It was difficult to establish how the animatronics were killing people. They never showed it. It was directed for wimps who are scared of horror movies. The reason for living animatronics is an overused one. They couldn't be aliens? How the fuck did that animatronic get in the car? They do not bend easily. How many times did we have to relive Josh's memories? We got it the first time. 07-Mar-2024

The film suffers from The Green Lantern and Quantum effect. If the creators wanted to take us to other worlds, the trip needed to be worth it. Skrulls with no power are obsolete. I think they took the green screen too literally. Most of the actors looked like they were talking to the back-heads of stand-ins or more green screens. The ladies became 3 instruments that didn't play well together. Distance was put between them. The glowey thing that Capt. Marvel displays when she's on, reminds one of the Quantum sky. Another action killer was giving the women the same power effect. So we don't distinguish or because it was easier? The big bad could only have gotten better had they cast that crazy lady from the Power Rangers. I thought Dar-Benn was blind for the first few minutes of the film. If she looked down, would her head-piece have fallen off? All the ladies came as they are because hair and makeup were in a rush to return to social media. They looked unkempt and shook. They would never dare look this ratched on the red carpet where fans aren't paying them to create movie magic. Somber heroes zigzagging to nowhere for nobody. I never thought of Monica Rambeau as interesting, I liked Kamala on the smaller screen but... and we all know what Carol Danvers is. The reason I liked female heroines was because they were a break from extremism and added a softer solution to the action and they were beautiful. If women keep denying themselves in order to become men, hugs will be cancelled. They can do anything? Be a girl. Good hair, make-up and dress will fulfill the rest. See: Barbie. Imagine if she was ugly and without sex appeal. No mucho $. Musicland was an in-law family situation humiliation activity. Nobody swags like they care so why bother? Was Frasier the only white man allowed in the building or was he CGId? 07-Feb-2024

The pace had no time to set-up character appreciation, it had a billion particles to settle. The family dynamic was food, drink, celebration and insanity. George Lopez added comedy schtick to his act. He looked like a character booted from Bedrock because he was too loud and ornery. The breast queen should be playing Lady MacBeth not becoming a free TV actor. I can see her washing blood from her hands and implementing Elvira's cleavage cut. The rest of the family and the leads apply stereotypes without explaining them. There is no such thing as a stereotype because it's only a description of our heritage. Universal speak. Nobody passed the classic TV Q test and the silliness hardly stopped. The best of the mythology turned into a fiesta. The family went everywhere together. Really? When did they masturbate? Why did the family get superpowers? Beetle's nemesis was a bigger and badder version of himself. Couldn't we have gotten something a little different? If the production wanted to fill the female quota, why didn't they concoct some awesome female villains? He has lots and no villain is scarier than a latin woman scorned. She'll slash your tires. 27-Nov-2023

Angelic training makes a wife susceptible to malice because they are mentally unstable. Legends of art accelerated the drama. The table turn was sweet and the film wasn't a horrible waste of time. 22-Jul-2023

The first shot aspired to greatness. People sharing the same belief targeted for survival. Dave Bautista jumped off the page and ended up a Lex Luthor on some greater planet. The director doomed art with mumbo jumbo and lucky coins. I mentally conducted scenes before they happened. The kid was cute but I totally wanted her to be a M3GN. They filleted a Harry Potter veteran before his time and Ben Aldrige's identity were his well crafted legs. I'm fuzzy on his face, though. Jonathan Groff chose Edith Bunker likability as his acting inspiration, he was a dowdy housewife with the spirit of a freedom fighter. The director separated reality from conflict and ruined the whole thing. 28-Jun-2023

It seems like a private joke to portray different languages without captioning them. The more times the movie lines or references are repeated the more we can understand and retain it. It's an educational tool. The descriptions fall mainly on Elba who portrays a physically commanding djinn with poetic romanticism with no woman to match him. Swinton's acting nuances become mismatched ticks. Queen of Shiba's story was the most interesting only because the actress portraying her provided model fabulosity. The leads remain within bottle safety throughout. The effects don't want to intrude on realism but that's what the story is about. I wanted to see Elba mixing spells, looking dashing or at least happy and having a magic ball while reciting Shakespeare with Lady Tilton. 23-May-2023

Asinine logistics applied to fatherdom for laughs and guffaws. Its savior is not logic but cuteness. You can cuddle with any of these people except the Russian character. 05-Apr-2023