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All Posts Tagged as 'Eye Gouge'

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Little Mermaid Live, The (2019) Whimper

The detail I most remember from "The Little Mermaid," was how her hair moved. If you can't establish an artistic craft to convey that, the art is lost. She flew when she needed to swim.

My treasure list:

I haven't seen so much visible invisible wire since "I Love Lucy." Decorating them might have helped

The octaves were lower than the crowd cheer. Amplification was a problem

A hologram of the improbable fish might have sufficed instead of plastic muppets

Graham Philips proved a singing alpha as Auli'i Cravalho expressed hard work

John Stamos' cook was destined to fail even if he had done it in a thong

Shaggy was feeling the beat but something spooked him and he started whispering

You shouldn't stumble. Even a shark shows grace underwater

Having the cartoon enact emotions whilst the live mostly sang is lazy

The deed was cast. The commercial for a beloved classic was born because they knew that after this, we'd flee to the original material. Magic! 08-Nov-2019

Tags: 2010s, Abuse, Animate, Brutal, Camp, Classic, Cliche, Comic Book, Creepy, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Maddening, Musical, No Acting, No Chemistry, Out of Place, Overcooked, Predictable, Sap, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

Permalink

08-Nov-2019


Superstore (2015-) Bites

It's ok. The next two had me eye rolling. 16-Oct-2019
Uh oh. The third episode on racism, made me laugh. 30-Sep-2019
Even though Ferrera and Feldman are super cute, the characters are super cocky with no discerning bulge to back them up. It integrates social media topics to appear cool but its view doesn't distinguish it. 29-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comedy, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Hyper, Juvenile, Maddening, Overcooked, Predictable, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Unfunny, Writ For Short Attn Spans

Filed under: TV

Permalink

16-Oct-2019


Aftershock (2012) Bites

The horror is rendered by characterization and the abomination is in how viciously they get treated. It may be novel for a disaster movie but it damages our senses. 04-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, Funny, Sort of, Gore, Mean Spirited, Oncer, Over the Top, Porn Violence, Preposterous, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

04-Oct-2019


Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-) Woof

Captain Sandy finally twirled her balls and her skirt. 25-Sep-2019
The Flintstones put aside shenanigans to celebrate hard work but only the certified kind. Gifted is out, snobbery is forever. 20-Jul-2019
Wet snouts all season. 12-Sep-2018
I guess its okay to present a woman with an unknown penis if it has vodka in it. 18-Jul-2018
The client reference sheet for food exemplifies how the rich can add waste to the environment. 13-Jun-2018
Rules and liability specifications are locked, there's room for us to guess which crew member will fuck up the hardest and the first clients were "Plantation Rich" (they think having money means they pay for enslavement.) 16-May-2018
Highlights include a lady captain and a lamentable pup, love-thrashed by a pocket siren that exhumes growls and sniffs from the male crew. Hannah quips her way through most of it but then succumbs to the lunacy that all are indulging in. Kate, your turn. 16-Aug-2017
It's everything the initial is yet augmented in the unbalanced crew department. The commander seems perplexed by his spiky helpmates and we shall be banqueted until our brains too become unhinged. It's a preferable fix to the housewives and it fulfills AHS: Asylum munchies. The hottest is the most baked. 30-Jun-2016

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Cooking, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Inappropriate, Mat, Real, Shrill Act, Special, Squish Alert, Suspense, Tacky, Twisty, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

Permalink

25-Sep-2019


Us (2019) No Moons

When a director can't wrangle a decent performance from two accomplished actresses (Nyong'o and Moss,) he isn't done with his training. The movie makes no sense and it doesn't deserve to breathe on anything resembling art. 15-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Daddy Squish, Eye Gouge, Funny, Sort of, Inappropriate, Indecipherable, Manipulation, Oncer, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

15-Sep-2019


Schitt's Creek (2015-) No Moons

Histrionic and unfledged bullshit. 02-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accident Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comedy, Disappointment, Eye Gouge, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Mean Spirited, Overcooked, Predictable, Shrill Act, Silly, Static, Tacky, Talk, Tired, Unfunny, Weird, Wit Crack

Filed under: TV

Permalink

02-Sep-2019


Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (2019-) BitesEarly Exit

My heart can't beat to slow moving and hollow-eyed puppets. 30-Aug-2019

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Camp, Cliche, Comic Book, Disappointment, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fantasy, Fatigue, From Another Planet, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Out of Place, Overcooked, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Talk, Timid, Weird

Filed under: TV

Permalink

30-Aug-2019


Russian Doll (2019-) BitesEarly Exit

When Pinky Tuscadero introduced it we defied it. Their equality banner states that anyone can be boring. (I can't speak unidentifiable robot and it perturbed my lover.) 10-Mar-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accident Watch, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Comedy, Cultural, Disappointment, Drama, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, From Another Planet, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Out of Place, Overcooked, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Tedium, Tired, Weird

Filed under: TV

Permalink

10-Mar-2019


Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club (2019-) BitesEarly Exit

There is no more knowledge to be absorbed by watching these people. 05-Mar-2019
Lohan exhibited crazed unprofessionalism. 27-Feb-2019
They have a zero tolerance for violence but they don't punish anyone for it. How 2019.

"Ambassador" is rich code word for whore. The reason the pretties keep failing at their job is because they don't know that. 05-Feb-2019
Pretty enslaved to the rich for a buck. 17-Jan-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accident Watch, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Daddy Squish, Drama, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Mean Spirited, Overcooked, Pretty, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Tired, Travel, Weird

Filed under: TV

Permalink

05-Mar-2019


Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club After Show (2019) No Moons

An excuse to protect the brand, handhold oblivious sensitivity and bully the crap out of anyone with an opposing or enlightening opinion. Opinions assist our evolution. Accepting every type of sexuality doesn't mean we have to partake of it. We have trained the future generation to be weak and the world is now our parents. 28-Feb-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accident Watch, Cliche, Disappointment, Drama, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Mean Spirited, Preachy, Tacky, Talk, Tedium, Tired, Weird

Filed under: TV

Permalink

28-Feb-2019


Halloween (2018) No Moons

Devoid of purpose, study and reverence. The psychology of Laurie Strode was as an empowered victim that elicited strength from catastrophic violence. She's not Sarah Connor and she wouldn't burden a child with her horrid mythology. The holiday wasn't nostalgic and the nods to Hitchcock (who's that?) were extinct. Hallmark movies concoct bigger frights. 08-Feb-2019

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Cold, Conspiracy Theory, Corn, Disappointment, Drama, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fatigue, Horror, Inactivity, Music Murders, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sad, Silly, Tacky, Timid, TV-like, Ugly Art, Unenthusiastic, Weird

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

08-Feb-2019


Boa vs. Python (2004) Bites

Made by environmentalists that insist that anything that moves or blinks is worth preserving even if it kills us. They hilariously plunder from Cameron's "Aliens" and every knockoff thereof. 04-Jan-2019

Tags: 2000s, Accident Watch, Action, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comical FX, Conspiracy Theory, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Horror, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Overcooked, Preachy, Predictable, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Tacky

Filed under: TV

Permalink

04-Jan-2019


Marriage Boot Camp: Hip Hop Edition (2019) No MoonsEarly Exit

Exploitation of the worst stereotype. I'm out. 04-Jan-2019

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cliche, Colorized, Cultural, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fatigue, Insulting, Predictable, Shrill Act, Tacky

Filed under: TV

Permalink

04-Jan-2019


New Year's Eve with Carson Daly (2018) BitesEarly Exit

Carson was out. 01-Jan-2019

Tags: 2010s, Bad Acting, Camp, Cliche, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fatigue, Out of Place, Overcooked, Shrill Act, Tacky, Talk, Tedium, Variety, Weird

Filed under: TV

Permalink

01-Jan-2019


Bad Teacher (2011) Bites

So mean that it renders the characters inhuman. 07-Dec-2018

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Corn, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Inappropriate, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

07-Dec-2018




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