TV Posts Tagged as 'Eye Gouge'
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Big Brother (2000 -)
A beautiful power bottom won the power of veto. 15-Sep-2021
Because of its hollow historical victory, all black characters appearing in Hollywood horror movies will die first. Again. 13-Sep-2021
Master psychology thesis on the lack of a human heart. Does Les Moonves subject Julie Chen to an obstacle course before she can re-enter their home? 19-Aug-2021
It's like coming home after a hard day's work and tuning in to hear what your co-workers were thinking. Mind blast. The frustration goes way beyond an undeserving winner. 14-Jul-2016
Saturday Night Live (2018-)
The Christmas episode with Kristen Wiig. Wiig graced us with her professionalism but the balls to her pong were deflated. Lorne, when you choose diversity over talent you get this. The worst cast imaginable. There are exceptions, Jost and Che always overcome the overly fussed jokes and even though he can't get it right Beck Bennet's squishiness is succulent. He stays for one more round until he can prove himself. Pete Davidson's infamy will always precede his comedy. None of Wiig's skits worked. She was out of practice and sadly written. Dua Lipa can't act but she can swing a mean hat. 20-Dec-2020
Matt revved it up, Rachel graced it, the steadies couldn't overcome it, the host is best I don't mention and Kanye shat all over it. His disdain for all art was evident. 30-Sep-2018
Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)
The guests were of the masterly type. A grunt called Hannah, Bugs Bunny. That's okay. Hannah called them assholes. Oysters made Hannah hop like a service animal for the rest of the charter.
Captain got dirty.
The rocket is about to land.
Pete knows how to eat and suck on meat bones.
Kiko kicks ass.
That's a fine pretty table, Bugs. 05-Jul-2020
There's a dickhand on board.
Hannah shut the base of an Ace, handled children like flopping fish and got pied in the face.
Captain pied crew members in their face.
The men denied, apologized and mind plotted... revenge.
A rocket was launched.
Kiko did his thing. 24-Jun-2020
Hannah frightened her employee.
Lara sought battle with Hannah by scary military code.
Chef Kiko. I'd lick his plates and nothing else.
The deckhands. Something you mechanically bull ride because you're wrecked.
Neither scientist or cis straight I be to recognize that Jessica is a rocket. (Don't explode.)
Don't call her sweetheart, sweetie or any words with calories. Call her daddy White.
Captain Sandy is commanding more than a boat. Good for her. 15-Jun-2020
Captain Sandy finally twirled her balls and her skirt. 25-Sep-2019
The Flintstones put aside shenanigans to celebrate hard work but only the certified kind. Gifted is out, snobbery is forever. 20-Jul-2019
Wet snouts all season. 12-Sep-2018
I guess its okay to present a woman with an unknown penis if it has vodka in it. 18-Jul-2018
The client reference sheet for food exemplifies how the rich can add waste to the environment. 13-Jun-2018
Rules and liability specifications are locked, there's room for us to guess which crew member will fuck up the hardest and the first clients were "Plantation Rich" (they think having money means they pay for enslavement.) 16-May-2018
Highlights include a lady captain and a lamentable pup, love-thrashed by a pocket siren that exhumes growls and sniffs from the male crew. Hannah quips her way through most of it but then succumbs to the lunacy that all are indulging in. Kate, your turn. 16-Aug-2017
It's everything the initial is yet augmented in the unbalanced crew department. The commander seems perplexed by his spiky helpmates and we shall be banqueted until our brains too become unhinged. It's a preferable fix to the housewives and it fulfills AHS: Asylum munchies. The hottest is the most baked. 30-Jun-2016
Camp Getaway (2020-)
It needs a serial killer. 13-May-2020
Little Mermaid Live, The (2019)
The detail I most remember from "The Little Mermaid," was how her hair moved. If you can't establish an artistic craft to convey that, the art is lost. She flew when she needed to swim.
My treasure list:
I haven't seen so much visible invisible wire since "I Love Lucy." Decorating them might have helped
The octaves were lower than the crowd cheer. Amplification was a problem
A hologram of the improbable fish might have sufficed instead of plastic muppets
Graham Philips proved a singing alpha as Auli'i Cravalho expressed hard work
John Stamos' cook was destined to fail even if he had done it in a thong
Shaggy was feeling the beat but something spooked him and he started whispering
You shouldn't stumble. Even a shark shows grace underwater
Having the cartoon enact emotions whilst the live mostly sang is lazy
The deed was cast. The commercial for a beloved classic was born because they knew that after this, we'd flee to the original material. Magic! 08-Nov-2019
It's ok. The next two had me eye rolling. 16-Oct-2019
Uh oh. The third episode on racism, made me laugh. 30-Sep-2019
Even though Ferrera and Feldman are super cute, the characters are super cocky with no discerning bulge to back them up. It integrates social media topics to appear cool but its view doesn't distinguish it. 29-Sep-2019
Schitt's Creek (2015-)
Histrionic and unfledged bullshit. 02-Sep-2019
Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (2019-)
My heart can't beat to slow moving and hollow-eyed puppets. 30-Aug-2019
Russian Doll (2019-)
When Pinky Tuscadero introduced it we defied it. Their equality banner states that anyone can be boring. (I can't speak unidentifiable robot and it perturbed my lover.) 10-Mar-2019
Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club (2019-)
There is no more knowledge to be absorbed by watching these people. 05-Mar-2019
Lohan exhibited crazed unprofessionalism. 27-Feb-2019
They have a zero tolerance for violence but they don't punish anyone for it. How 2019.
"Ambassador" is rich code word for whore. The reason the pretties keep failing at their job is because they don't know that. 05-Feb-2019
Pretty enslaved to the rich for a buck. 17-Jan-2019
Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club After Show (2019)
An excuse to protect the brand, handhold oblivious sensitivity and bully the crap out of anyone with an opposing or enlightening opinion. Opinions assist our evolution. Accepting every type of sexuality doesn't mean we have to partake of it. We have trained the future generation to be weak and the world is now our parents. 28-Feb-2019
Boa vs. Python (2004)
Made by environmentalists that insist that anything that moves or blinks is worth preserving even if it kills us. They hilariously plunder from Cameron's "Aliens" and every knockoff thereof. 04-Jan-2019
Marriage Boot Camp: Hip Hop Edition (2019)
Exploitation of the worst stereotype. I'm out. 04-Jan-2019
New Year's Eve with Carson Daly (2018)
Carson was out. 01-Jan-2019
Martha & Snoop's Potluck Dinner (2016-)
I keep waiting for Martha to have a "Merlot" moment and brand the shenanigans she has to endure overdone. 19-Jun-2018