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Health/Food Posts Tagged as 'Sex Identity'

Welcome to Errattic! We encourage you to customize the type of information you see here by clicking the Preferences link on the top of this page.

 

My Teen Changes Their Queer Identity Every Week and I Can’t Take It Anymore 

 

I need some help gaining perspective on my 15-year-old child’s whiplash approach to gender and sexuality. For the last three years, they have been on a journey with regard to their sexuality, declaring and changing identities one every few weeks or months, even when those identities have been both contradictory (how can one be both asexual and polyamorous?) and hypothetical (my kid isn’t dating and hasn’t dated). They are committed to being anything but cisgender and hetero, and that identity—whatever it turns out to be—appears from their actions and words to be the central part of their sense of self. They spent a lot of time on queer wikis, looking up new possible identities. They avidly “ship” fictional characters into same-sex couples, express anger/disappointment when shows/books have hetero couples, and talk constantly about LGBTQIA issues, representation, etc.

I have been, and want to be, supportive. My kid deserves to be loved and celebrated for who they are, and however their identity settles out is fine with me. But I am also struggling with these rapid changes. In the last two weeks, my kid has changed their name once and pronouns twice, colored their hair, worn exaggeratedly feminine eye makeup, pinned their hair up to look masculine, purchased a bikini and a dress and then asked me to buy them a binder (because they think it would be “fun” to look like a boy sometimes). At this point, it feels like they’re trying on identities like costumes, and that makes me very uncomfortable. None of it feels authentic—it seems more like a bid to stand out in a crowd or perhaps to find the limits of my acceptance.

I have worked so hard to make sure my kids know they are loved unconditionally, but if this kid is looking for a boundary, maybe I should set one? I literally squirmed when I wrote that sentence; setting a random limit on acceptance goes against everything I believe. But at the same time, I am so, so tired of hearing about their identity day after day after day and of trying to keep up with the changes. They’re a great, smart, interesting kid for a dozen different reasons; their gender/sexuality is just one aspect of their personality. Would it be wrong of me to say, in essence, “I love you, and will never not love you. When you figure out your identity let me know, and in the meantime can we maybe stop talking about it all the time?” Also, as the world opens up and my kid spends more time outside of our home, can I/should I ask them to be more thoughtful in how they present themselves? It seems to me that trans and nonbinary people cannot simply change their identities and expression for “fun,” so my kid’s behavior feels a little bit like cosplaying in a way that could be hurtful. Or do I just keep keeping my mouth shut, do my best to remember this week’s identity, and pray that this phase ends soon?

—Tired and Confused

My Teen Changes Their Queer Identity Every Week

Three family members are charged with child abuse 'after they shaved the word

City councilor facing calls to resign says gender identity is “magical thinking”

She Told Everyone How Painful Her Gender Confirmation Surgery Was. And Then She Died.

Fourth-Graders Told Not to Tell Parents About Questions on 'Equity' Survey They Were Forced to Fill Out

Tags: Advice, Children, Choices, Confusion, Education, Enforcement, LGBTQ, Mental Health, Parental Burden, Sex Identity, Treatment, Video, Violence, Youth

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26-Jul-2021


Parents speak out about the ‘rush’ to reassign the gender of their kids 

 

Bri, who asked The Post to publish only her nickname for fear of being branded a bigot and doxxed by transgender-rights activists, was horrified — not only by the insinuation her teen would commit suicide if she didn’t transition, but also the fact that the general practitioner issued the warning in front of them both.

But some experts now question the threat that they say is commonly used by medical professionals. They believe many doctors are so scared of the label “transphobe” that they automatically present skeptical parents with a doomsday scenario: “Would you rather have a dead son or a living daughter?” or vice versa.

By contrast, a 2011 study spanning three decades by the respected Karolinska Institute in Sweden found that people who underwent sex reassignment were 19 times more likely to die by suicide than the general population. In the US, a yearlong survey by the National Center for Transgender Equality concluded that those who had transitioned were more likely to have attempted suicide than trans people who had not had medical or surgical treatments.

Parents speak out about the ‘rush’ to reassign the gender of their kids

Elementary school promotes transgender 'top surgery' book for Pride Month. Then complaints come rolling in.

Proud gay dad who wrote kids’ book about families like his sent horrific homophobic abuse

Tags: Books, Children, Choices, Education, Gay, LGBTQ, Mental Health, Parental Burden, Regret, Sex Identity, Statistics, Struggling, Suicide, Surgery, Trans

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01-Jul-2021


Gender-neutral 'theyby' turns 5 — as mom now says child is a boy 

 

Author and sociologist Kyl Myers — who made headlines over the last few years for announcing the birth of her gender-neutral "theyby" — has announced that her child, Zoomer, is a boy.

Myers and her husband Brent Courtney did not announce the child's gender when it was born, stating in 2018, "We don't disclose Zoomer's genitals to people who don't need to know."

Gender-neutral 'theyby' turns 5 — as mom now says child is a boy

Tags: Children, Fail, LGBTQ, Parental Burden, Sex, Sex Identity, Test

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18-Jun-2021


Male teens and boys using women’s bathrooms, change rooms outrage in China reveals lack of sex and gender education, experts say 

 

The online debate blew up after a popular female rights blogger shared a complaint from another woman earlier this week that several mothers often brought their sons, aged 10 and above, to use the women’s bathroom at her community swimming pool. The boys even showered with their mothers according to the complaint.

Experts said the behaviour exposes the lack of sex and gender education in China where many parents do not see an issue in mixing the use of gendered bathrooms and the children are too young to understand.

The woman said she was once gawked at by one of the boys which made her feel angry and humiliated. When she complained to the swimming pool staff she was told that the boy was “too young” and they could do nothing to “discipline” him.

A male user said he met with a father taking his daughter to a public toilet. “I started to pee when they came in. How embarrassed I was!” he said.

Male teens and boys using women’s bathrooms

Tags: Complaint, Environment, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Parenting, Safety, Sex, Sex Identity, World

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12-Jun-2021


I’m a Straight Woman Who Married a Gay Man 

 

I met my husband 13 years ago, and we’ve been together ever since. We fell deeply, madly in love with each other and have been married for nine wonderful years now. He’s patient, kind, gentle-hearted. He’s also always been honest about being gay and has never hidden it from me. Only one of our mutual friends knows this about my husband. Our son also knows, since we thought it would be best to remain open with him about it, so he never “found out” by surprise or from our mutual friend. Our son took the news very well and doesn’t care that his father was gay.

I’ve never told my family, or really any of my friends, as I think they’d all be judgmental. My siblings don’t like my husband, but that’s a different letter in itself. So I’ve always kept it bottled up inside. He’s been married before, and divorced, to a straight woman, with whom he has a grown daughter. I’m a straight woman too. I’ve asked my husband about it, and he confirms that he’s gay, not bisexual. He left his first wife because of a lot of problems (and her infidelity), then he was in a few different relationships with other men, before he met his ex-boyfriend. They were still living together when we met. I’m confused by it all, and it has, at times, caused problems in our marriage, because of my lack of self-confidence. I have doubts that he might leave me someday for a gay relationship like he did his ex-wife. We’ve both been faithful to each other, and he loves me, and I love him. But is that good enough for him? Would you consider him bisexual or gay?

—Not-Quite-Lavender Marriage

I’m a Straight Woman Who Married a Gay Man

Tags: Advice, Gay, Humiliation, Investment, Lifestyle, Marriage, Masks, Men In Charge, Mental Health, Modernization, Neglect, Preference, Respect, Self Interest, Self-esteem, Sex, Sex Identity, Treatment

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20-Mar-2021


My grandchild is trans, what do I do?

 

“My granddaughter just informed me she has decided she would be happier living as a boy, and she has gone so far as to legally change her name,” the grandmother, labeling herself “Grandma in Pain” wrote. “I want to be supportive, but I admit I’m having a lot of trouble accepting it, or at least figuring out how to deal with it.”

“She’s my only grandchild and most likely the only one I’ll ever have,” Grandma in Pain continued. I loved my granddaughter with all my heart, and I don’t know how to shift gears to a grandson. I keep stumbling when I try to use the new name. I would welcome any suggestions you could make, including information about support groups you might know of.”

My grandchild is trans, what do I do?

Tags: Advice, Change, Choices, Etiquette, Family, Grandparent, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Respect, Seniors, Sex Identity, Trans

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15-Mar-2021


We Walked In on My Husband With a Man. Now Our Son Is Acting Homophobic. 

 

A few weeks ago, I was supposed to take my sons to an outdoor activity that ended up getting canceled due to weather. We found out about the cancellation when we were halfway there. Before I turned around, I texted my husband that we would be heading home and never got a text back. This wasn’t unusual, as he usually puts his phone on “do not disturb” while he’s working. When we got home, I opened the door to find my husband and his best friend, “Ryan,” completely naked, and having fairly rough sex on our dining room table. They had music blaring, so they didn’t hear us come in, and my sons and I were all in shock and just stood there for a good 30 to 60 seconds before I was able to shut the music off, and they realized what was going on and could cover up. Obviously, this is a bit of a chaotic situation.

Ryan is like an uncle to my kids, has dinner at our house several times a week, has occasionally lived with us, and he and my husband actually work together. My husband and I are planning on staying together and are still trying to figure a lot of things out. Here’s the problem: My younger son (6) is pretty oblivious and thought Uncle Ryan was wrestling with his dad. My middle son (9) is very confused about the mechanics of what we saw (we’ve had the sex talk with him, but in hindsight, we made the mistake of only talking about heterosexual sex). My older son (12) is having a very difficult time. My middle son has a lot of questions that I’m not really sure how to answer, and I’m not sure how much detail I should be going into, and who should be leading this conversation (me? my husband? a doctor?). I’ve been getting phone calls home from my older son’s school. Ever since the incident, he has apparently been making derogatory remarks about gay people, using slurs, and is also refusing to speak to his father (they were previously pretty close). The school is threatening to expel him. We’re on the waitlist for individual and family therapy, but I was wondering if you guys had any advice about what to do with my two older sons?

—What Now?

We Walked In on My Husband With a Man.

Tags: Advice, Cheating, Children, Choices, Environment, Gay, Hate, Hypocrisy, LGBTQ, Men In Charge, Mental Health, Neglect, Parental Burden, Parental Crime, Reaction, Sex, Sex Identity, Youth

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15-Nov-2020


What It Means When You Have Gay Or Lesbian Sex Dreams 

 

When I was 14, I had a particularly vivid dream about Helen Hunt. I know, just go with me on this.

In the dream, she was teaching me how to play the piano, an instrument I have inexplicably always found to be very sexy (but probably because of that one scene in Pretty Woman). After I'd performed well, she leaned over and gave me a kiss.

My mom, being of sound mind and body, rolled her eyes and told me to stop 1) eating so many weird midnight snacks, and 2) worrying about my sexual orientation.

4. Gay or lesbian sex dreams might mean you're pregnant.

What It Means When You Have Gay Or Lesbian Sex Dreams

Tags: Advice, Dreams, LGBTQ, Portrait, Relationships, Release, Sex, Sex Identity

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23-Oct-2020


Harried and Harangued 

 

My family have known Alex since we were teenagers and point-blank refuse to accept her as a woman. Alex has kept her original first name, as it’s gender-neutral, so it’s not even as though my parents and sister have had to adjust to learning a new name. They just won’t consider it. They refer to her as my “boyfriend” and have made comments about how glad they are that I’ve “finally grown out of my lesbian phase.” This is starting to eat away at my sense of identity. I was never attracted to Alex before her transition or to men in general. But my sister has argued with me that, since I’ve known Alex “since she was a boy,” I’ve obviously been in denial about my feelings toward her and must have been attracted to a guy all this time. My parents have repeated similar theories, and it’s getting to me. I’ve already started cutting them off on the phone every time they refer to my “boyfriend” or are rude to Alex on Zoom, but their constant speculation about my sexuality is gnawing at me. I took a long time accepting my lesbian identity. Does my relationship with Alex undermine that, or is that just transphobic thinking getting to me? How do I shut my parents down permanently on these horrible comments?


—Harried and Harangued

Harried and Harangued

Tags: Advice, Etiquette, Family, LGBTQ, Parental Burden, Politics, Sex, Sex Identity, Sexual Harassment, Trans

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10-Oct-2020


Doctor says soon trans men will be able to receive penis transplant surgery 

 

The doctor that has pioneered penis transplant surgery believes that soon it will become possible to operate a successful transplant.

“This would be a quantum leap if you were able to transplant a real penile structure. It’s certainly pushing the boundaries,” plastic surgeon Curtis Cetrulo, M.D. told MedPage Today.

“We’re ready to do it, and we could do it pretty soon if we get it approved,” the Boston doctor claimed.

Cetrulo, who works at Massachusetts General Hospital, was the first to complete a successful penis surgery in 2016. Now he has to convince the medical community and hospital administration that it can be done.

Doctor says soon trans men will be able to receive penis transplant surgery

Tags: Anatomy, Discovery, LGBTQ, Science, Self-esteem, Sex, Sex Identity, Study, Surgery

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10-Oct-2020


I’m in My 30s, and I’ve Never Been Able to Make It to Home Base With Women 

 

Dear How to Do It,

I’m a 34-year-old straight, male virgin. I don’t have any trouble talking to women, frequently match with attractive women on dating apps, and often get to first base. I’ve even gotten to the “finish line” a few times, even getting to fingering and cunnilingus, but between being so nervous I can’t get it up, putting my foot in my mouth, and pure terror, I’ve always screwed it up. My first time in bed with a woman (someone I’d just met at a party), at age 27, it was the nerves, but the five subsequent times, in my 30s, I guess I didn’t even know where to begin. In all but one case, I told them I was a virgin, and only once was this a specific issue for my partner. All of them were women I met on a dating app, on the second or third date, except one that I was in a two-month sort of relationship with.

I’ve noticed that I don’t find the vagina particularly sexy. Could this be an issue? I’m also uncircumcised (this is common in my part of the world), and part of me fears tearing off the foreskin.

I feel like I’m missing out on a key part of the human experience. Maybe being in love with my partner would help, but frankly I haven’t been in love in a good 10 years. Maybe I just need to be so consumed by lust that I can’t overthink it, but does that even happen? It’s even crossed my mind to visit a prostitute and get it over with, but then I think really couldn’t get it up—the thought of a partner who is likely not the least bit attracted to you is a massive turn-off to me. I’m interested in your thoughts. Thanks, and have a wonderful day.

—Frustrated

I’m in My 30s, and I’ve Never Been Able to Make It to Home Base With Women

Tags: Advice, Perception, Relationships, Satisfaction, Sex, Sex Identity

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16-Sep-2020


Gender reveal parties are harmful in so many ways – why do we treat them as quirky? 

 

Gender reveal parties are a form of domestic terrorism

One dead grandmother-to-be. A downed plane. An incinerated car. Several terrifying explosions. An altercation at Applebee’s. A massive wildfire that burned 47,000 acres of Arizona forest and resulted in an estimated $8m worth of damage.

All that’s just a small snapshot of the manslaughter and mayhem unleashed by gender reveal parties over the last couple of years. And that’s before you factor in the latest nightmare ignited by the terrible trend: the El Dorado fire in California. The fire, which was caused by a “smoke-generating pyrotechnic device” set off at a gender reveal party, has burned more than 13,000 acres of forest so far and prompted the evacuation of 3,000 residents.

It’s worth pausing here for a moment to fully absorb the fact that, as well as resulting in a woman’s death, gender reveal parties have destroyed at least 60,000 acres of land in the last three years. (To put this in perspective, the area of Manhattan is around 14,600 acres.) We all know that the police are fond of a bit of profiling; based on these statistics alone they ought to be implementing stop-and-frisk tactics on all heterosexual couples who come within five miles of a heavily wooded area. If the woman’s got a baby bump and the man’s got a dad bod then law enforcement should search them for explosives, stat.

Gender reveal parties are harmful in so many ways – why do we treat them as quirky?

Tags: Celebration, Death, Environment, Fire, Gender, Inhumanity, Parental Crime, Pregnancy, Punishment, Self Interest, Sex, Sex Identity, Terror

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12-Sep-2020


My Partner and His Bros Joke About Gay Sex All the Time 

 

Dear How to Do It,

My partner and I have been together for six happy years. Here is my (female) problem: He and our gaming friends (all male) have this habit of making gay jokes constantly. They think it is hysterical to just tack some fellatio-related quip onto every. damn. sentence. I’m exaggerating, but it is frequent. I am part of a text chain with these guys, and it is relentless—I rely on my husband to tell me when we have plans with them because I have to mute it unless I want to be inundated. These jokes aren’t hateful, per se, but they’re just constantly referencing gay, male-on-male sex, and to me, there often seems to be no discernible punchline. I see and speak to these men (and they are indeed men—we’re well out of our 20s) often and consider games with them to be a huge and rewarding component of my social life. I am the only person in the group who is not a hetero man, and I feel that if I try to say “Enough, already!,” I stand to slightly alienate myself, though they’d respect my preference.

I must say that I have never seen even a hint of outright bigotry from any of them. My partner is super kind to my close gay buddy and his partner and doesn’t act uncomfortable in the slightest when they are affectionate around us. He has embraced them with no issue whatsoever and considers them some of our best friends. In my experience, the friends have also been completely normal around them, and two other group members also have great relationships with gay family members. In fact, one guy expressed a purely religious judgment about homosexuality once (to someone outside the group), and everyone else has discussed how gross it was.

So what is my question? Well … is this a thing? Do hetero guys really talk like this, or are they just anomalous pervs? Is there any chance they stick to the gay stuff because they don’t want to be gross about sex with women with me around? Do I need to “stand up” to this humor, even though it seems to be free from hate? I’m not even uncomfortable with it exactly, I’m just concerned I might be dropping the ball as a citizen of the LGBTQ world. They really don’t seem hateful. Could this just be a way for them to engage with something that makes them uncomfortable?

— No Homo

My Partner and His Bros Joke About Gay Sex All the Time

Tags: Advice, LGBTQ, Relationships, Sex, Sex Identity

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20-Aug-2020


TSA allegedly wanted a trans girl to expose her genitals before boarding her flight 

 

Shocking allegations in a new federal lawsuit accuse the Transportation Safety Authority (TSA) of refusing to allow a transgender 16-year-old girl to board her flight unless she showed an officer her genitals.

Jamii Erway and her mother Kimberly were prevented from boarding their flight out of Raleigh-Durham International Airport in North Carolina in May 2019. The mother and daughter sued earlier this week.

The lawsuit says that when Erway went through the scanner, it set off a false positive. When the teen explained that she is transgender and if they changed the gender marker on the machine everything would be fine, they refused. Instead, the agent called a supervisor.

“Notwithstanding, and for reasons still unknown to plaintiffs, [the supervisor] advised Jamii that she would need to accompany her to a private room, expose herself, and allow [the supervisor] to ‘feel up in there,’ i.e., touch her genitals,” the complaint alleges.

LGBTQ Nation

Tags: Court, Employment, Environment, Etiquette, Exclusivity, Hate, Mental Health, Parental Burden, Safety, Sex, Sex Identity, Threat, Trans, Travel, Treatment, Vulnerable, Youth

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11-Apr-2020


'Our 13-year-old was brainwashed into thinking she’s transgender': Parents accuse school of secretly allowing girl to attend ‘radicalising’ mentoring sessions that convinced her that she was really a boy 

 

A school has been accused of secretly allowing a 13-year-old girl to attend ‘radicalising’ mentoring sessions that convinced her that she was transgender.

Ashleigh and Ged Barnett allege that until the one-to-one sessions began last September, their daughter appeared comfortable in her body and showed little interest in transgender issues.

But they say she had changed completely by November, sporting a short haircut and talking about feeling that she was really a boy.

They were confused by the transformation until they met her headteacher to discuss another matter and learned that their daughter had been having weekly sessions with the head of the school’s LGBT group.

Mrs Barnett said: ‘The school didn’t think it was fit to tell us. We are her parents, but responsibility to care for our child has been taken away. The attitude is that it’s the child’s choice and it’s got nothing to do with us.

‘Children at 13 or 14, especially girls, are sometimes not happy in their own bodies – that’s what puberty does to you. They are very vulnerable. It only takes one person with an agenda to plant a little seed that they are “in the wrong body”.’

Daily Mail

Tags: All Rights, Backlash, Children, Confusion, Court, Development, Education, Effect, Environment, Experimentation, Fighting Back, Health, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Misrepresentation, Parental Burden, Politics, Safety, Sex Identity, Treatment, World, Youth

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15-Mar-2020




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