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Movies Posts Tagged as '2000s'
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The washed up male porn star with a huge dick cliche. His 14" cock was the ladder that should have saved the world. John Holmes was a porn king who sold his soul to the devil to continue to do drugs and have sex. John Holmes was either the mastermind that plotted the worst heist of his life or he was really dumb. Baby Kate Bosworth was a great young innocent in love with the aura of a "man." Lisa Kudrow was Beatrice Straight from Network. Underwritten, marvelous and powerful. She didn't flinch. Val Kilmer softens the big cock brute by being genuine. The reenactments of what occurred that fateful night raced to a satisfying conclusion. 04-Apr-2022
"James Corden" type entertainer teaches genius diversity how to rock out. Sex, drugs and rock n roll. 23-Oct-2021
So stupid, it's funny. 22-Jun-2021
Ten years have passed since her husband's death. The widow has moved on and is celebrating her engagement to a new beau when it's disrupted by an unnerving 10 year old who shows up and claims he is the spirit of her dead husband. His presence causes family uproar as they try to unmask a poverty-stricken child in love with Lady Nic that claims she shouldn't re-marry. The boy's unflinching demeanor is squirmy as Nic's is artistic. The director shot a continuous pan of Lady Nic giving beautiful stoic face but didn't clinch it with an ironic exclamation. He tried the same trick with the boy on the bench but the boy couldn't sit still. Lauren Bacall established herself. Danny Huston spoke for everyone as the jinxed and insecure groom who wanted to bash "returned husband's" brains out. Lady Nic doesn't unfurl until the end but it's strong. When Anne Heche blew up she exploded fantastically. If someone claims to be a lost loved one, you have to listen, even if it's ludicrous. 03-Jun-2021
City whites decide to move out of the city after their son's expensive shoes get scratched in the city. They are afforded an estate at a very low price that belonged to an ex prison crusader on a warpath with whomever moves in. Sharon Stone is onboard to bore us doing motherly stuff as an affordable VP. Daddy Quaid's anger doesn't generate enough sparks to make us care. Christopher Plummer was unrecognizable. Juliette Lewis made it ashore to tingle the plot and remind us Cape Fear did it better. Stephen Dorff was delicious smack as a bad boy affected by parental sexual freedom that you will eventually spit out and nothing more. Teen Kristen Stewart was at her best, hanging loose, upfront and appearing to hate only half the planet. The ending is as cruel as the wait. 16-May-2021
Curse Of The Golden Flower, The (2006) 
Drop dead gorgeous. That's what I thought at the time I first saw it and its what I affirm now. I devoured and appreciated the crazy amount of artistic work that Zang's imagination and his crew realized. The story was simple and intoxicating. The empress is married to a punishing emperor obsessed with perfection, war and revenge. The empress is mother and stepmother to three boys who are next in line for the crown. Empress is in love with her stepson. He's grown up and doesn't want mama or to be emperor because he's in love with the servant daughter of the doctor that is helping the emperor to secretly poison the empress with enforced medicine. Daddy is back from battle hyped to finish his family war. Traditions are broken, inconsistancy becomes normal, traditions feel like enslavement and people are ready to revolt. Chow Yun-fat knows how to stomp his foot, wield a sword and kill a son. He's intimidating. Gong-Li is that unattainable thing that becomes easy prey once prized and possessed, thrusting her into a vengeful future because she is second in command. She serves gorgeous "Meryl Streep" face.
It's a slow burn to the battle sequences but they are worth it. Action was dressed, mapped and showcased exquisitively and the bloodbath was enervating. Men versus equally matched women with children by their side. Ouch. Amen. 22-Apr-2021
It's a slow burn to the battle sequences but they are worth it. Action was dressed, mapped and showcased exquisitively and the bloodbath was enervating. Men versus equally matched women with children by their side. Ouch. Amen. 22-Apr-2021
Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith (2005) 
General Grievous is a product of Lucas' craft. The Tech Master hardly disappointed. The fail was foretelling everything before it happened depriving us of emotional surprise and leaning heavily on sap. I thought Hayden was done vomiting. Dude, he had diarrhea and it stank up the whole universe. I replaced him with a young Jack Nicholson. (Jack was dark, charming and a hoot. That laugh.) Unfortunately the saga is reliant on Anakin Skywalker making a satisfying transition to Darth Vader. He does not. I would have put a helmet on that kid halfway through the 2nd film just to avoid the misery. He even infected Natalie Portman. Samuel L. Jackson couldn't give three fucks. Ewan McGregor sported adorable hair, eloquence and force chill. Yoda kicked more ass. Christensen yucked it up! The diarrhea was epidemic. 06-Feb-2021
Star Wars: Attack Of The Clones (2002) 
Ewan Mcgregor found the force. Samuel L. Jackson couldn't give two shits. Christopher Lee honored his count. Natalie Portman settled in. Hayden Christensen was anemic and woozy and almost vomited all over the film except that the magic of George Lucas was dominant and triumphant. TG. Can we CG him out? More universe is explored, Jango Fett and Yoda kicked ass and the adventure was accomplished. I loved playing this game. 05-Feb-2021
It mindfucks from the beginning. It's told out of sequence and it has something to do with a gay rock that grants the grabber wishes. Unfortunately, the wishes make you see the ridiculousness in them as they come to fruition. The effects are genuinely gross and creative, the kids exceed expectations, the film is hilarious and that guy from Two and Half Men is in it and he doesn't suck. I had so much fun. 04-Dec-2020
Squid And The Whale, The (2005)
Parents with two boys inject a marital separation into their situations. Jeff Daniels is the bitter dad that can't forgive marital indiscretions and uses the separation to win favors with the boys by turning them against their mother. Jeff slices exasperation, vulgarity, intellectual banality and the boredom of an unloved family man into a soul. Laura Linney is the studied wife who will discuss very intimate things with her children without realizing the added pressure she's pushing on them. She wants to live the liberated life that comes from besting her competition (husband) in his writing career and shoving it in his face whilst searching anywhere else for an orgasm. Linney is at her organic best. Jesse Eisenberg is the teen who is not yet a dork, kinda cute but is still creepy. He's on a sexual plight that has been curbed because of his parents' public history. He is the reason for the title and even though he's a dick, his heart sells it. Owen Kline is chilly as the kid masturbating and smearing his cum all over school, calling his dad "assman," telling mom she's ugly, cursing, laying out panties and becoming an alcoholic. Everyone is so busy competing for the other's love that love never comes. A child wants to make a parent proud as much as they want to best them. Anna Paquin is daddy's student who awakens men's desires by being a pixie and writing explicit stories about her vagina. May the best dad or son win. It's frankness felt liberating, the script was witty and smart, it went by too fast and Billy Baldwin whipped his hair back and forth. 25-Oct-2020
This was an almost horror classic outdistanced by a grip not worthy of its folklore or its marriage to the present it creates for itself. The audio tapes that were assembled to heighten the tension, cartoon's it. Few actors can inhabit different ages or sexual identities with success. Get different voices. It's audio. The men in the present are not quantified for the sins of the past. It chugs along without much corroboration with its history except that the new mental health was once lunacy. 08-Oct-2020
Long lost uncle returns to crunch some balls. The first half is backwoods grit thriller but once the adventure ensues you are whisked away to a myth. Jamie Bell does solid work exhibiting his animal urges against obligation whilst the daddies gruff hard. I didn't understand little brother's gross ailment. 01-Jul-2020
Powerpuff Girls Movie, The (2002)
Epic girl power. 12-Jun-2020
Children and the help, quarantined with a compulsive mother obsessed with the idea of being as great as God. It's made of Hitchcock walls, star quality is legend of old and the understated score unnerves. It's refined spookery. Nic is powerhouse mama alleviator and authoritarian, putting the kids sweetly to bed, one minute and wanting to chop their heads off, the next. The ending is ruined once you know it but the lesson still rings true. Nothing ever is as it seems. 27-Apr-2020
House of the Devil, The (2009)
Quarantined and babysitting who knows what in strangers' creepy mansion is as nailbiting as it gets. Money can put any Spidey sense to bed but it can't help you. West's film strengths are character and suspense but the wrap up was easy, predictable and not scary. 22-Mar-2020
