Movies Posts Tagged as '2000s'
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Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith (2005)

General Grievous is a product of Lucas' craft. The Tech Master hardly disappointed. The fail was foretelling everything before it happened depriving us of emotional surprise and leaning heavily on sap. I thought Hayden was done vomiting. Dude, he had diarrhea and it stank up the whole universe. I replaced him with a young Jack Nicholson. (Jack was dark, charming and a hoot. That laugh.) Unfortunately the saga is reliant on Anakin Skywalker making a satisfying transition to Darth Vader. He does not. I would have put a helmet on that kid halfway through the 2nd film just to avoid the misery. He even infected Natalie Portman. Samuel L. Jackson couldn't give three fucks. Ewan McGregor sported adorable hair, eloquence and force chill. Yoda kicked more ass. Christensen yucked it up! The diarrhea was epidemic. 06-Feb-2021
Star Wars: Attack Of The Clones (2002)

Ewan Mcgregor found the force. Samuel L. Jackson couldn't give two shits. Christopher Lee honored his count. Natalie Portman settled in. Hayden Christensen was anemic and woozy and almost vomited all over the film except that the magic of George Lucas was dominant and triumphant. TG. Can't we CG him out? More universe is explored, Jango Fett and Yoda kicked ass and the adventure was accomplished. I loved playing this game. 05-Feb-2021
Shorts (2009)

It mindfucks from the beginning. It's told out of sequence and it has something to do with a gay rock that grants the grabber wishes. Unfortunately, the wishes make you see the ridiculousness in them as they come to fruition. The effects are genuinely gross and creative, the kids exceed expectations, the film is hilarious and that guy from Two and Half Men is in it and he doesn't grate. I had so much fun. 04-Dec-2020
Squid And The Whale, The (2005)

Parents with two boys inject a marital separation into their situations. Jeff Daniels is the bitter dad that can't forgive marital indiscretions and uses the separation to win favors with the boys by turning them against their mother. Jeff slices exasperation, vulgarity, intellectual banality and the boredom of an unloved family man into a soul. Laura Linney is the studied wife who will discuss very intimate things with her children without realizing the added pressure she's pushing on them. She wants to live the liberated life that comes from besting her competition (husband) in his writing career and shoving it in his face whilst searching anywhere else for an orgasm. Linney is at her organic best. Jesse Eisenberg is the teen who is not yet a dork, kinda cute but is still creepy. He's on a sexual plight that has been curbed because of his parents' public history. He is the reason for the title and even though he's a dick, his heart sells it. Owen Kline is chilly as the kid masturbating and smearing his cum all over school, calling his dad "assman," telling mom she's ugly, cursing, laying out panties and becoming an alcoholic. Everyone is so busy competing for the other's love that love never comes. A child wants to make a parent proud as much as they want to best them. Anna Paquin is daddy's student who awakens men's desires by being a pixie and writing explicit stories about her vagina. May the best dad or son win. It's frankness felt liberating, the script was witty and smart, it went by too fast and Billy Baldwin whipped his hair back and forth. 25-Oct-2020
Session 9 (2001)

This was an almost horror classic outdistanced by a grip not worthy of its folklore or its marriage to the present it creates for itself. The audio tapes that were assembled to heighten the tension, cartoon's it. Few actors can inhabit different ages or sexual identities with success. Get different voices. It's audio. The men in the present are not quantified for the sins of the past. It chugs along without much corroboration with its history except that the new mental health was once lunacy. 08-Oct-2020
Undertow (2004)

Long lost uncle returns to crunch some balls. The first half is backwoods grit thriller but once the adventure ensues you are whisked away to a myth. Jamie Bell does solid work exhibiting his animal urges against obligation whilst the daddies gruff hard. I didn't understand little brother's gross ailment. 01-Jul-2020
Powerpuff Girls Movie, The (2002)

Epic girl power. 12-Jun-2020
Others, The (2001)

Children and the help, quarantined with a compulsive mother obsessed with the idea of being as great as God. It's made of Hitchcock walls, star quality is legend of old and the understated score unnerves. It's refined spookery. Nic is powerhouse mama alleviator and authoritarian, putting the kids sweetly to bed, one minute and wanting to chop their heads off, the next. The ending is ruined once you know it but the lesson still rings true. Nothing ever is as it seems. 27-Apr-2020
House of the Devil, The (2009)

Quarantined and babysitting who knows what in strangers' creepy mansion is as nailbiting as it gets. Money can put any Spidey sense to bed but it can't help you. West's film strengths are character and suspense but the wrap up was easy, predictable and not scary. 22-Mar-2020
Stay (2005)

A vague bad trip made sillier by insignificant EFX. Even though his American accent was flawless, McGregor was clamping down so hard on his own that he lost his squishiness. Ryan Gosling hadn't found his squish yet... he was a serious actor. His blank stares were very blank. They gave little credence to Naomi Watts' character except to provide her great face at the end. 08-Mar-2020
Whirlwind (2007)

The men are pulled right out of the gay bible and are shot up close to hide background restrictions. The cast was diverse and capable. Friends and lovers are infiltrated and defrocked by a vindictive serial fucker. It should have been fun but the soup was bland. They spent a sizable amount of time talking about big dick and no time exposing it. 04-Feb-2020
Midnight Movie: The Killer Cut (2008)

In order for a viewer to digest mumbo jumbo we need to be privy to the rules. The film concocts it and we decide if it is within the realm of possibility so we can view the art piece with tolerance. No rules were established and the filmmaker refused to reserve a coherent explanation. It was remastered to look sharper but not sound brighter. 03-Feb-2020
Fountain, The (2006)

In every corner hangs beautiful art and on every wall there is a story...and a story...and a story. I wanted to hang onto the modern fable that was going to rip into our hearts not the cloak and dagger fantasy that could have been its own film. Hugh Jackman was most guttural. The film's complexity overshadowed the simplicity of life. 14-Jan-2020
Figurine, The (2009)

The goddess grants seven years of prosperity then nullifies it. It's raw and clumsy, vibrant on culture, low on horror clicks and coherent in twisty deception. 11-Jan-2020
Ring Two, The (2005)

All remains intact. The sequel embraces mother care and courage whilst boasting designer scares. 11-Oct-2019