All Posts Tagged as 'Opinion'
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I Live With Six Brothers. I Have Sex With Two of Them. It’s Fine, They Know.
Dear How to Do It,
I (a man) live in a large house along with six brothers, all adults and close to each other in age, two of whom I am having sex with. I am naturally much closer to them than the other four. “Yarin” and “Ferdinand” are both fully aware that I have sex with both of them. With the exception of occasional flares of jealousy on Ferdinand’s part (based in insecurity; we’re working on it), it seems to suit all of us very well. The house we share the rent for is large enough that I’m sure the other four brothers don’t know about the sex.
The problem is that I don’t know what to call this arrangement, even to myself. I’m often uncomfortably aware of just how unconventional it really is. When with one or both of them in public, I don’t know how to answer when people ask what Yarin and/or Ferdinand are to me. Yarin usually answers that we’re friends, which I don’t mind. Ferdinand has brazenly answered that I am his boyfriend whom he shares with his brother, which I DO mind. That part isn’t anyone’s business! Ferdinand is somewhat hurt by this, as he is openly affectionate with me in public and expects reciprocation, but I’m a quiet person, while there are Mardi Gras parades more reserved than Ferdinand. My sex life is absolutely not the business of random strangers. Should I follow Yarin’s lead and just say we’re friends? And can I tell Ferdinand to cool it in public?
Do transgender athletes have an unfair advantage?
Does “science” show that transgender girls who compete as females in a sport have an unfair advantage?
That’s the claim made earlier this month by a Tennessee state legislator who called for a law inflicting career-ruining sanctions on school officials who let trans-student-athletes compete in accord with their gender identities.
The proposal is neutral on its face: it would apply to both boys and girls. But the specter of trans girls (girls born as boys) gaining an unfair edge on “real” girls animates it and other proposals like it.
Georgetown students are asked if America is the greatest country in the world. Survey says: Um, no.
Campus Reform's Cabot Phillips visited Georgetown University in Washington, D.C., recently to confirm polling that indicates a large swath of young Americans are declaring that the United States isn't the greatest country on Earth.
Two Houses Is Better Than a Divorce
Getting married is like voluntarily committing oneself to ride a tandem bike forever with no real destination. When one person gets tired, the other has to pedal harder or the entire operation collapses, and most divorce proceedings are just both partners yelling that if the other had pedaled hard enough then the bike would still be moving. Perhaps the appeal of living apart together (LAT) is avoiding this pressure for married couples to constantly synch up and operate in tandem rather than operating as separate entities that come together when it suits. LAT seems like an ideal solution for many of the problems that arise over the course of a marriage, affording the opportunity to be responsible for one’s own bike without having any reason to critique anyone else’s peddling.
Minnesota Senate Leader: Sexual Assault, Bad Parenting Make People Gay
Minnesota Senate Majority Leader Paul Gazelka defended conversion therapy and claimed that sexual assault can cause homosexuality, all in a wide-ranging interview with televangelist Andrew Wommack.
The senator, a Republican, recalled hearing the story of “a lady that was lesbian, and [a counselor] said before you judge her, let me just tell you her backstory. … He said she was chained to a toilet as a like 2-, 3-, 4-, 5-year-old girl and raped by her dad, for years and years. How do you think she’s gonna feel? In other words, he’s trying to get you to realize that there’s a deeper backstory, and if you understand that, you can love them while you’re … bringing truth and trying to help them.”
He also contended that lack of closeness to a parent of the same sex can cause a person to be gay. In a conversation with a gay man, Gazelka said he asked if the man was raised by a mother and father or just by his mother; it turned out the man was brought up by his mother and grandmother. “We actually had a conversation that we could talk about the issues around the why and the what,” the senator said.
“I think the best place to land is let the church have the total freedom to do as they please, and then for professional counselors, if an adolescent comes into their office, says I have unwanted same-sex attraction, I’m hoping that counselor can say ‘How can I help you?’” Gazelka told Wommack.
Bali villas targeted by authorities for “catering” to the LGBTQ community
Republicans declare war on transgender people in state legislatures all over the US
Stephen King slammed for 'ignorant' tweet about not considering 'diversity' when voting for the Oscars
Famed writer Stephen King has stirred up controversy after admitting he “would never consider diversity in matters of art,” a remark made in reference to his status as a member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS) voting on Oscar contenders. His remarks come a day after the 2020 Oscar nominations were announced, prompting complaints that women and people of color were largely overlooked. Many critics bemoaned the exclusion of women like Greta Gerwig from the Best Director category, while Harriet’s Cynthia Erivo spoke out about being the only person of color to be nominated across four acting categories.
We are bullying someone because they are putting the quality of work before race, sex or creed. Isn't that how equality works? You can't expect to be rewarded because you are diverse. Diversity in film is at an infancy and it takes experience and hard work to establish quality. Haven't we already doled out enough pittance awards? Just have fun proving them wrong. 14-Jan-2020
Delaware GOP Chair Resigns After Facebook Comment That ‘Faggots Cannot Handle Reality’
Chris Rowe, the chair of Delaware’s New Castle County Republican Committee resigned on Friday after using an anti-gay slur on Facebook. “Faggots cannot handle reality,” said Rowe in response to a follower’s comment.
The AP reports: “New Castle County Republican Party Chairman Chris Rowe said he agreed to resign after GOP chairwoman Jane Brady called him Wednesday and asked him to step down from the appointed position. Rowe told The Associated Press that he made the decision ‘begrudgingly and only under duress.'”
Alleged Christian domestic terrorist regularly posted anti-LGBTQ content online
Arizona Republican introduces bill to ban the word “homosexuality” from public schools
Arizona senator drops plans to ban the word “homosexuality” from schools
The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness
For years I’ve noticed the divergence between my straight friends and my gay friends. While one half of my social circle has disappeared into relationships, kids and suburbs, the other has struggled through isolation and anxiety, hard drugs and risky sex.
None of this fits the narrative I have been told, the one I have told myself. Like me, Jeremy did not grow up bullied by his peers or rejected by his family. He can’t remember ever being called a faggot. He was raised in a West Coast suburb by a lesbian mom. “She came out to me when I was 12,” he says. “And told me two sentences later that she knew I was gay. I barely knew at that point.”
This is a picture of me and my family when I was 9. My parents still claim that they had no idea I was gay. They’re sweet.
Jeremy and I are 34. In our lifetime, the gay community has made more progress on legal and social acceptance than any other demographic group in history. As recently as my own adolescence, gay marriage was a distant aspiration, something newspapers still put in scare quotes. Now, it’s been enshrined in law by the Supreme Court. Public support for gay marriage has climbed from 27 percent in 1996 to 61 percent in 2016. In pop culture, we’ve gone from “Cruising” to “Queer Eye” to “Moonlight.” Gay characters these days are so commonplace they’re even allowed to have flaws.
Gay Loneliness Is Real—but “Bitchy, Toxic” Culture Isn’t the Full Story
Pete Davidson Berates University of Central Florida Audience: "You Should Fucking Grow Up"
Pete Davidson on Monday night berated an audience at the University of Central Florida after some people in the crowd took out their phones.
Davidson was captured on video lambasting the crowd for more than a minute, saying he would leave if they did not act accordingly.
"I don't have to be here," said the Saturday Night Live castmember at the tour stop. "I can just give them their money back because I don't give a fuck."
Saying UCF, in his opinion, is in the "middle of fucking nowhere," Davidson called the crowd "privileged little assholes," before making the situation even more uncomfortable.
straightness is dead. gen z killed it
Who would have thought that a contestant on Love Island would catalyse a worthy debate on queer discourse? It seemed nigh on impossible, and yet here we are dissecting the semantics of sexuality through that aggressively heterosexual lens: a much loved reality television show populated by perma-tanned muscly blokes and impossibly beautiful women.
It's Time to Stop Commenting on Your Coworker's Lunch
"Before you comment on someone’s food, ask yourself why you feel compelled to do so," says Caplan. "Much like commenting on someone’s appearance, food comments may be rooted in fat-phobia, or a diet mentality. Food is one part of the big picture that is health, and we should all have body autonomy in choosing what to eat based on our likes, resources, values, and preferences."
Death rates increasing for U.S. adults aged 25 to 44: CDC
Death rates are on the rise for young and middle-aged U.S. adults, with white and black people experiencing higher mortality than Hispanic people, according to new research from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) published Tuesday.
Between 2012 and 2017, the rates for white and black people aged 25 to 44 increased 21% each for both groups, while Hispanic people of the same age range saw a 13% rise.
Sally Curtin, a statistician at the CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics and one of the report’s authors, said an uptick in suicides, homicides and drug overdoses contributed to the higher rates for the younger part of the group.
Want to Raise a Hard-Working Child? Do These 6 Things
“A LOT OF POWERFUL PEOPLE...COULD GO DOWN”: THE JOURNALIST WHO PUBLISHED JEFFREY EPSTEIN’S BLACK BOOK AND JET PASSENGER LOGS COMES IN FROM THE FRINGE
With Jeffrey Epstein denied bail and prosecutors building their case in his sex trafficking indictment, one of the next shoes to drop—possibly many shoes—will invariably be: Who within Epstein’s social orbit might be implicated in the scandal one way or another? As someone involved in litigation against Epstein told my colleague Gabriel Sherman earlier this week, “It’s going to be staggering, the amount of names. It’s going to be contagion numbers.”
Ever since Epstein’s arrest on July 6, there’s been growing scrutiny of his vast network of rich and/or famous and/or powerful friends and acquaintances—or former friends and acquaintances, as it were. There’s a road map to that network in Epstein’s now-infamous black book, filled with many bold-faced names, phone numbers, and addresses, from Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Ehud Barak to Alec Baldwin, Ralph Fiennes, Mick Jagger, and even Courtney Love. “It is a mosaic of Epstein’s social contacts,” the investigative journalist Nick Bryant told me.
Bryant first got his hands on a copy of the black book in 2012, after the feds caught Epstein’s former house manager trying to peddle it for $50,000. At the time, Bryant was shopping a feature on Epstein, without success. “My Epstein article would focus on the government malfeasance that enabled Epstein to skate on scores of child abuse charges,” Bryant wrote in a pitch he submitted to various editors, “and I would also look into covert ties that the government may have had with Epstein. Moreover, the little black book opens up multiple vistas of investigation, and I would attempt to amass sufficient corroboration on some of the power broker perps who molested these girls.”
LGBTQ Org Fires Director After He Defended Alleged Gay Bashers at Gala
An LGBTQ organization in Miami axed its executive director following controversial remarks at a recent fundraiser.
Tony Lima, formerly the head of SAVE, reportedly defended four men convicted of a hate crime June 14 at the group's Champions of Equality Gala at Hard Rock Stadium.
Onstage, Lima allegedly said the men — Luis Alonso, Juan Lopez, Adonis Diaz, and Pablo Romo (pictured above) — were "wrongfully accused" of attacking a gay couple, Rene Chalarca and Dmitry Logunov, as they held hands leaving Miami Beach Pride last year.
Police had charged the four with aggravated battery committed with prejudice, which is a hate-crime charge in Florida. The case is still active, and the state attorney's office announced last week that it was confident it could prove the charges.
How To Communicate In Bed If You’re Naturally Quiet, According To Experts
If you get your sex education from porn (which, in case no one ever told you, you shouldn’t), you might assume that loud, wild, passionate moans come naturally to everyone, especially women. But if you instead feel unsure of how to express yourself in bed, you’re far from unusual. Especially since many of us have our first sexual experiences masturbating, when we have no reason (and often don’t want) to make a peep, it can take effort to figure out how to communicate with a partner, and that may or may not involve moaning.
“Unlike in porn, sex does not always result in uncontrollably loud and powerful orgasms,” certified relationship expert and mental health specialist Adina Mahalli, MSW, tells Bustle. “Instead of focusing on what you should do, feel, or sound like, try letting go and living in the moment. The best way to express yourself in bed is to let things happen naturally. Having sex requires a significant degree of vulnerability, but if you become just a bit more vulnerable, you'll find that it transforms the experience. Once you lower your defenses, you'll see that your verbal and body language will start narrating your sexual experience in ways you've never imagined.”