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All Posts Tagged as 'Family'

Welcome to Errattic! We encourage you to customize the type of information you see here by clicking the Preferences link on the top of this page.

 

Should I Apologize Again to My Cousin for Sleeping With Her Husband? 

 

Four years ago, I had an affair with my cousin’s husband. The fallout was exactly what you’d imagine: godawful. I felt terrible about it at the time and apologized immediately. My cousin severed ties with me and most of my immediate family. Recently our grandmother died from COVID, and we were all together for the funeral. My cousin was perfectly polite, and I was reminded of my immense guilt that I hurt her and broke up her marriage. I would like to send a note apologizing for my part in the dissolution of her marriage but am not sure it’s a good idea. I also realize sometimes it’s better to let sleeping dogs lie and don’t want to bring up a painful memory for her unnecessarily. I would ask my parents, but I don’t want to open an old can of worms with them. We’ve moved on, but I know they feel pain at losing their niece at my hands. Any advice you can give would be appreciated.

—Family Fallout

Should I Apologize Again to My Cousin for Sleeping With Her Husband?

Tags: Advice, Cheating, Etiquette, Family, Horniness, Hostility, Interference, Parental Burden, Self Interest, Sex, Treatment

Filed under: Health/Food

Permalink

24-Jan-2021


What I Learned About Love When I Stopped Being Honest 

 

When I moved to New York at 22, it became clear that an honest man would have a hard time getting a job. The nicer interviewers would get concerned and offer sincere advice, telling me that when asked about my biggest flaw, I wasn’t supposed to actually list my flaws. When I told them I hoped some employers would appreciate my honesty, most laughed. In some cases, I ended interviews early on the grounds that the interviewer and I clearly weren’t compatible. But I got lucky and was hired by an eccentric who was charmed by my earnestness. After two months as his assistant, he brought up areas where I needed to improve, and I candidly told him that I didn’t think I could do better, that I wasn’t the best person he could get for this job. I pretty much persuaded him to fire me.

After years of feeling torn between my old ways and my new ones, I got over my discomfort at participating in the dishonest world and started to see why people spared one another the truth. As I experimented with small talk, I noticed how others used honesty to establish intimacy. I’d always seen “hiding feelings” as cowardly, but for other people, the selectiveness of their honesty was what gave it meaning. They’d choose who was special enough to hear their secrets. My indiscriminate, automatic honesty had meant that I’d tell a personal story the same way to a stranger as I would to my closest friend; that cheapened anything I shared. Anyone who loved me wanted to see a side that I didn’t show others, but I hadn’t saved one for them. Immediate honesty was impatient; if I wanted people to be honest with me, I had to earn it.

What I Learned About Love When I Stopped Being Honest

Tags: Backwards, Environment, Etiquette, Family, Hypocrisy, Intelligence, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Portrait, Privilege, Punishment, Society, Success, Superficiality, Survival, Truth, World

Filed under: Health/Food

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24-Jan-2021


Federal government wants Americans to buy groceries online, but most people on SNAP can’t 

 

When the coronavirus first hit, Miranda Wilt knew a grocery store run could be fatal to her children.

Both 10-year-old Aiden and 8-year-old Rosie are on the autism spectrum and legally disabled. Wilt, a 35-year-old single mom, said she's too scared to leave the house herself, let alone go outside with her kids, who can't wear face masks.

She turned to online grocery shopping to stay safe, but her monthly SNAP allotment of $55 barely covers the family's essential needs, and that's before the tip and delivery fee.

"I have no other choice. I have a child who has a disease that has no treatment and no cure," Wilt said.

The federal government has said Americans should stay home and buy groceries online, leading to a 300% explosion in online food shopping. But a majority of Americans who depend on food stamps have no choice but to shop in person because the federal government allows online shopping with SNAP benefits only in limited circumstances in 47 states. For those who are able to shop on the web, the costs can be shocking for families who barely have enough to eat in part because SNAP benefits cannot be used to pay for delivery fees or tips.

Federal government wants Americans to buy groceries online, but most people on SNAP can’t

Tags: $, Choices, Coronavirus, Family, Food, Govt, Health, Policy, Poverty, Shopping, Social Distancing

Filed under: Health/Food

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24-Jan-2021


 

My grandmother would babysit me on certain weekends so my mother could free herself from the drudgery of doing nothing. My grandmother acknowledged me with derision but in comparison to the others (cousins) I was useful. I could serve her, protect the child and gain the privilege of her hating me less. The favorite grandchild had curls spun from gold and the disposition of an angel. The prince came from nowhere. There is no evidence of a father. Mythologies passed on from cousin to cousin deduced my father, the rapist, was in the running, my aunt's pedo brother too and a made-up greek guy that no one's ever seen. No cousin/grandchild would ever receive such bountiful love from the adults in the family. I loved him too.

My grandmother once announced to her 15 grandchildren (ages 6 through 12) that they would not receive a Christmas present from her because she could only afford to give it to one and she was bestowing it to the most deserving. Seven of my cousins later became Jehovah's Witnesses and never celebrated anything ever again. The two year old prince doesn't remember that day but that's the day his life was destined. That Christmas he was granted grandma's glee, heart, exquisite presents and everyone's hate. We were so angry at her. She could have shared that gift with him at anytime. They lived together. Why did she choose to humiliate us by having us witness it? "Because she's a witch." "She hates us." "I hate her!" The family dynamic was set. Avenge the Sith.

We could see her coming. Through the windows. Before the elevator dings. "Here comes that demon mother of yours," she would say. It was almost a countdown on how many bad things my grandmother could state about my mother before she arrived to terrorize her. Ding!

My mother would make her account for every mistake (the cheating, the twins, the lying and the pastor) she ever made. It happened a lot. My grandmother would end up screaming, crying or both. It was horrible. I didn't really understand grandma's sins but I forgave her. My mother obviously could not.

My grandmother taught me how to live a successful miserable life and to always be wary of mother. 22-Jan-2021

Tags: Family

Filed under: Wisps

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22-Jan-2021


No Right To Love You - Rhys Lewis 

Harald

Tags: Animate, Choices, Family, Music, Portrait, Reinterpreted, Relationships, Representation, Respect, Re-tooled, Tribute, Video, Video Gay Swatch

Filed under: Music

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02-Jan-2021


They did everything right. But after one at-home haircut, a husband and wife died of Covid-19 

 

Mike and Carol Bruno did everything right to avoid Covid-19. They refrained from hosting the big, traditional family gatherings they were used to. They stuck to phone calls and video conferences with family even though they didn't live far away.

But a simple family visit to get a haircut claimed both of their lives.

The Brunos were married nearly six decades before they passed away from the virus, their son Joseph Bruno told CNN. The Chicago couple, who died 10 days apart, are now among the more than 337,000 people who have died from coronavirus in the US.

Bruno hopes his family's grief serves as an important reminder of how easy it can be to contract Covid-19, no matter how safe you are.

They did everything right. But after one at-home haircut, a husband and wife died of Covid-19

Tags: Choices, Coronavirus, Death, Environment, Family, Gay, LGBTQ, Parental Burden, Safety, Social Distancing, Video

Filed under: Gay+

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29-Dec-2020


 

GIF: they always find a way in.
My worst case scenario has come true. I have to relive the aspects of my life I was frightened to visit. I am a needy person. As such I need to acquiesce to the support (family) that saves, not the one of invention (gay.) I have faith now because how else could I survive. It is family prayer that gives me breath. But I don't believe. Stop the crap. This is why you suffer. Because you won't let him in. "But..." I give out benedictions and prayers to everyone as I crack inside. My mother cries that I never gave her a grandchild. I kiss God's lips for hearing me on that one. "Gay was a failure or you wouldn't have come crawling back." I didn't come crawling back. They tracked me down. I was made to believe gay would be beautiful, romantic and forever. I didn't know I was in a cesspool of perverts. My sexual predators are now bffs, the meanest people are my mentors and I keep asking what did I do so wrong? I wanted to die in peace. 27-Dec-2020

Tags: Family, Mental Health, Myself, Parenting

Filed under: Wisps

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27-Dec-2020


The pandemic is hitting LGBTQ families harder than straight people 

 

A recent report by the Movement Advancement Project (MAP) found that LGBTQ families are experiencing disproportionate challenges due to the pandemic.

The report, based on the results of a summer survey by NPR, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, and the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, found that LGBTQ households are experiencing greater financial strain, more unemployment, and bigger struggles to balance work and childcare than non-LGBTQ households.

The report found, for example, that 66% of LGBTQ households have experienced a serious financial problem since the pandemic began, compared to 44% of non-LGBTQ households.

It also found that 52% of LGBTQ households with children have had trouble keeping their kids’ education going, compared to 36% of non-LGBTQ households that have experienced this challenge.

Healthcare has also been a huge challenge for the LGBTQ community, with 38% of LGBTQ households reporting they were unable to get medical care or delayed getting medical care for serious issues. This compared to 19% of non-LGBTQ households.

The pandemic is hitting LGBTQ families harder than straight people

Tags: $, Children, Cultural, Education, Effect, Employment, Environment, Family, History, LGBTQ, Mental Health, Parental Burden, Parental Responsibility, Priorities, Reckless, Relationships, Survival, Unemployment

Filed under: Gay+

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26-Dec-2020


 

One of the most mystifying gifts my mother laid on me this year is for me to stop pretending to be black and just be white. She's never seen me as anything but, so it is so. Racism doesn't apply to me because she's always seen me as white. LOL. It was said in an advisory tone to offset future guilt. Head explosion. If I went outside right now and declared I was white they would shoot me. I'm not black because my hair don't kink, she says. (2 blunts.) My nephews and nieces are black because their fathers and mothers are really black. There are no black people in Puerto Rico. They're Indian. Body collapse. 25-Dec-2020

Tags: Environment, Errattic, Family, Hostility, Ignorance, Mental Health, Myself, Parenting, Political Correctness, Saving The Environment!, Superiority, Survival, Women In Charge

Filed under: Wisps

Permalink

25-Dec-2020


Help! My Grandma Found Out I’m Gay and Banned Me From Christmas. 

 

Dear Prudence,

I am 19 years old, and a few months ago I came out to my parents and siblings. Everyone has been very accepting and loving. The problem is this: My younger sister told my uncle and aunt that I am a lesbian. (It was not done maliciously.) They’re top-of-the-line homophobes. They told my grandmother, who is now banning me from Christmas festivities that we celebrate every year.

I told my parents to just go without me and, while reluctant, they would like to go just to smooth things over. As we get closer to Christmas, I am getting depressed at the thought of being alone for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I could go to my friend’s house, but that seems pathetic. Please help!

Help! My Grandma Found Out I’m Gay and Banned Me From Christmas.

Tags: Advice, Ban, Celebration, Family, Holidays, Homophobia, Lesbian, LGBTQ, Parental Burden, Parental Pride, Sad

Filed under: Health/Food

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23-Dec-2020


Why Are More Indians Signing 'Suicide Pacts'? We Asked an Expert. 

 

In 2016, the World Health Organization reported that India has the highest suicide rate in the South East Asia region. The latest official data recorded a spike in suicides in 2019 as compared to 2018, witnessing 381 suicides a day. Suicide pacts, however, have been a recurring pattern over the years. In fact, in 2015, experts noted that suicide pacts are on the rise. The year 2019 recorded 72 cases of mass/family suicides, according to official data.

Now and then, India is confronted with an ongoing mental health crisis. A few months ago, the discussion resurfaced when a top Bollywood actor allegedly died by suicide in his apartment. However, mental health discourse in India remains inaccessible to a large part of the population and often struggles with acceptance and stigma.

Why Are More Indians Signing 'Suicide Pacts'? We Asked an Expert.

Tags: Cultural, Environment, Fail, Family, Finance, Frustration, Life Sucks!, Lifestyle, Parental Responsibility, Reality, Suicide, Unity, World

Filed under: Gay+

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22-Dec-2020


Gay man shares his mother’s heartbreaking tirade after he tells her he’s engaged 

 

A man has gone viral online after recording his phone conversation with his mother, telling her that he was now engaged to his boyfriend.

“I want to invite you,” Jimenez explains, “but I know you don’t approve that I’m marrying my boyfriend.”

“I can’t believe you’re being serious about this,” his mother is captioned as saying. “Do you know that’s a sin in front of the eyes of God? Do you know that?”

“You’re so wrong. You can’t see it but you’re so wrong,” she shoots back. “At what point did you meet that guy? That guy has blinded you, he doesn’t want anything to do with God.

Gay man shares his mother’s heartbreaking tirade after he tells her he’s engaged

Tags: Celebration, Cultural, Family, Gay, Hate, LGBTQ, Parental Burden, Religion, Sad, Treatment, Video, Video Gay Swatch, Wedding, Women In Charge, Youth

Filed under: Gay+

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09-Dec-2020


Politically correct Santa tells crying kid he won’t bring him Nerf gun 

 

A mall Santa dropped the hammer on a little boy who asked him for a Nerf gun for Christmas — telling the bawling kid he wouldn’t bring him the toy.

The politically correct Kris Kringle was caught on video asking the child what he wanted for the holiday, according to a Facebook post by the boy’s mother.

The boy apparently mentioned a gun, because the Santa could be heard replying, “No, no guns.’’

When the kid’s mom, who was standing nearby, piped in just to be clear, “Nerf gun,’’ the not-so-jolly ol’ St. Nick was still having none of it.

Politically correct Santa tells crying kid he won’t bring him Nerf gun

Tags: Activism, Awareness, Etiquette, Exclusivity, Family, Guns/Toys, Holiday, Humiliation, Life Sucks!, Mental Health, No One Cares, Nobody's Business, Parental Burden, Parental Crime, Politics, Preference, Privilege, Rude, Segregation, Sensitivity, Treatment, Video, Video Gay Swatch

Filed under: Gay+

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08-Dec-2020


Dads Might Be Taking Significantly More 'Me Time' Than Moms, Survey Finds 

 

A new survey has found that dads might be taking a lot more time for themselves than moms in heterosexual households.

Conducted by online retailer Zulily, the survey found that 68 percent of moms only take one to five hours per week of "me time" while, according to Parents, results showed that dads take six hours or more.

Parents also noted that an earlier study from Zulily found that moms were reporting 31 percent less time to themselves since the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic.

"Often, moms carry the mental load of doing the 'extra' tasks at work and at home," Lindsay C. Malloy, Ph.D., told Parents. "Maybe others rely on you because you always say 'yes,' and now might be a good time to try to change this pattern by putting your foot down."

Dads Might Be Taking Significantly More 'Me Time' Than Moms, Survey Finds

Tags: Daddy Squish, Family, Lifestyle, Men In Charge, Nature, Parental Burden

Filed under: Health/Food

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04-Dec-2020


Paul Bettany Says His Gay Father Went Back Into The Closet in His 80s 

 

“I had a gay father who died a couple of years ago,” he told Total Film magazine. “He came out of the closet at 63. He then had a 20-year relationship with a man called Andy Clark. It was a joyous relief for everybody, actually.”

“Once his partner died, he was in his 80s at that point, my dad decided to go back inside the closet and say that it had all been a big misunderstanding because he was a Catholic and concerned about getting past Peter through the pearly gates,” Bettany continued. “The shame he felt for his sexual identity was devastating, he was unable to mourn the person who I think was the love of his life.”

Paul Bettany Says His Gay Father Went Back Into The Closet in His 80s

Tags: Celebrity, Coming Out, Family, Gay, LGBTQ, Portrait, Regret, Religion

Filed under: Gay+

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01-Dec-2020




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