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Ozark (2017-2022) Howl

S3E4. The Mexican cartel is insecure about everything. Jason Bateman became America's sweetest sarcasm when he laundered Rhoda Morgenstern's second career. Laura Linney was born to fuck and resent the men that make her life miserable. Janet McTeer took a Jane Lynch role and turned it into art. Ruth is my favorite person in the whole wide world. I want to talk like her but society would deem it appropriation, so I will only speak "her" when I'm alone. MicKinley Belcher the 3rd needs to come back and fuck something. I love "fuck you" shows. 27-Jan-2022

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Political, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

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27-Jan-2022


Bob Hearts Abishola (2019-) Woof

Nigerians have an upgraded version of conversion therapy. Exorcism! White distraction outs a relative as a lesbian and the community treats her as such. Should the messenger forfeit to a liar and apologize to her royalty for breaking the rules? The only thing stopping Matt Jones from becoming "daddy bait" isn't his speak, its his stupidity. Wink, wink. 21-Jan-2022
Blacks are descended from witches. Awesome. 01-Dec-2021
The only actors doing Wakandans right. 11-May-2021
Is it improper for me to say that I wish someone else would love Abishola? 31-Mar-2020
The leads do not align, Bob's family grates and reverse hate is not progressive. 08-Nov-2019
Exploring multi-cultural attitudes to life problems is interesting. The black characters sparkle but their counterparts appear like unwanted houseguests. I'm sure good writing can fix that. (I liked it.) 25-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Disappointment, Discomfort, Drama, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Nostalgic, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

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21-Jan-2022


Hype House (2021-) Arf

A bunch of "could haves" combine business interests with personal relationships. The scheme collapses as soon as a "could have" becomes an "almost." The group may be responsible for creating a Beyonce but Beyonce owes them nothing. The commonality is that all the victims have been emotionally denied by someone important. The babies get lots of attention and money for doing very little. They are the future prostitute. Head twink is going ballistic because his partner is becoming famous and he's looking older. Connive he must. A bowl of white pretty boys, a plate of girls swooning and mouthfuls of queer things exaggerating everything, are the shared focus. Gay bleached boy calls out trans bestie for acting black on social media even though he's black and acts Puerto Rican. His gay friends are white who act black and can't be bothered with full drag. The trans pays to make her fantasies come true but is the loneliest. She can't afford to be real. The babies live in fear of cancellation. The pretty white twinks rule the roost with confidence and the thought that they will eventually get cooked, burnt and flamed out. No success in the world can replace the scars their families placed on them. It's the kids turn to tell parents how they're doing. "Yo, they fucked up and we're going to tell the whole world." If they're not happy now, they never will be. These are the great grandparents of the people Adam Mckay wants to save. Ha! 08-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Cliche, Corn, Crapfun, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Gay, Gay Swatch, Political, Predictable, Pretty, Reality, Relationships, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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08-Jan-2022


Twentysomethings: Austin (2021-) Arf

Natalie's boytoy grabbed and ghosted. I knew he was an asshole when she asked him for a selfie and he gave her side face so no one could recognize him. He disrespected her when he arrived late to the party, fast grabbed, slept and ran. She wondered why she got ghosted. Dearest, he ghosted you because you couldn't wait. She has to stay in Austin because when her papi watches her boning footage he's going to explode. Kamari slapped Raquel's ass so hard that she opened her doors for him. Doorman! 29-Dec-2021
S1E8. Natalie blamed Abbey for stealing the man she was "interested" in. The golden surfer was going to pick Abbey or Oscar (the "make believe" boyfriend of Keano.) A person cannot make themselves anyone's first choice if the pecker isn't even pointing at them. Oscar wanted some camera time and to see if any of the cis men would get it on with him. He got a free COVID test. Abbey is a destructive beauty whose ice caps are melting at an exponential rate. I miss the pretty boy. He was endearingly sad. 28-Dec-2021
S1E7. Pretty super jock gave up on his roommates because they couldn't ease his sexual discomfort. Isha realized that the path to success has to include an American pendejo willing to part with his money. Austin may be open to sexuality but not to other cultures. Kamari came to fuck anything and everything. Raquel is a "doorman" and a lousy friend. Abbey needs medicine. Keano needs a million dollars to survive gay world. 28-Dec-2021
S1E4. Something to watch when your brain cells need a rest. The younglings appear to have strong familial support but have minimal life skills. It's a house full of Red Riding Hoods. No wolves, grandmas or conflict. 25-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Amiable, Dating, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Reality, Relationships, Words Spoke

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29-Dec-2021


These Old Broads (2001) Arf

It was a spectacular low-budget showcase with a supreme cast and some artistic expression. The legends reminded us how they became, how time forgives and that they can still entertain. Fisher added pepper to her words. Sometimes, overly, with a sting. She made a legend apologize to her parental legend for being a treacherous whore bestie who stole their daddy. Elizabeth did it and it was a beautiful moment. Deep, full and roomy describe "broad." The film's walls were made out of gingerbread though and the icing kept sliding. The com got sticky. I didn't care. I loved hearing legends call each other whores. It made me feel human. 20-Dec-2021

Tags: 2000s, Adorable, Camp, Celebrity, Chemistry, Comfort Food, Crapfun, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Magnetism, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Touching, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Tough, Writ w/Possibilities

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20-Dec-2021


Succession (2018-) HowlUpgrade

S3. Daddy Prince of Darkness battles it out with Daddy Succession Supreme. Every "fuck" made me hard, every "you" made me cum. Daddies were exploding beautifully. Women can sew their own armor. Shiv is beloved, mother is a cunt, Geri is the family dog, Roman is a mutt, Tom is bewildering, Willa keeps up, Connor won't give up, Greg is a kitten and Mencken is A game. The fight would add up to very little if the top masters didn't emote so precisely. Daddy Succession bleeds every decision to keep his dynasty and children afloat. All he wants is respect. Daddy Prince is impatient about the future. He wants to be woke, now, when it matters. Daddy S knows better. Daddy P always gets what he wants because Daddy S spoiled him. There is a study of art that defines Daddy P because of his intensity but when he calms and speaks his pathetic truth, we want to fuck him again. Yes, his pathetic is even hotter than his cockiness. It's called parenting. The writers convey our thoughts, instead of our speak because, in reality, we can't do so. But we would like to. We are not animals in cages. You cage the word and the animal comes out. Let it speak. The show spoke, delivered whoppers, kept to its guns and secured a successful season. 20-Dec-2021
Daddy suffering (Ken) hijacked it with an hilarious rap and alpha domination. I like to hear Shiv, I like to say Shiv, I love to watch Shiv. Holly Hunter (Rhea) is the clamped whisperer. When she nips it she doesn't let go. Tom shreds himself to death attempting to bare the soul of a character that rarely sees it. Culkin plays his character like he has no dick. Funny. Nobody messes with daddy. Writers that want to keep their jobs and a production that keeps on pushing it. It consummates on a boat big enough to fit two Below Decks in it. It was all about respect. 08-Aug-2020
The best corporate fuckers on TV. 06-Aug-2020
A malted shake with only whipped cream. That's a lot of protein. 24-Jul-2020
S1E3 found daughters giving handjobs, alphas verifying status on staircases and daddies snapping their tongues. I am no longer floating, my feet are firmly planted. 18-Oct-2019
Exposing how the family dynamic exploit each other for success. The sticks have returned:

Brian Cox - daddy doesn't need a stick

Nicholas Braun (Greg) - he'll carry anyone's stick

Alan Ruck (Connor Roy) - he licks them

Kieran Culkin (Roman Roy) - he shoves them up his nose

J Smith-Cameron - she's not carrying anyone's stick

Jeremy Strong (Kendall Roy) - alpha in the making swings his own. 18-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, From Another Planet, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Political, Psychological, Relationships, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writer's Peak

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20-Dec-2021


Love Never Lies (2021-) Woof

S1E7. Tall pretty stick accused the game of being rigged when the technology caught him lying. Hostess Divine pulled out a bullwhip and turned his stallion cock into a puppy's. You don't fuck with mama or Netflix shows. You cheating asshole. Most everyone pretended it was a vacation where lying and misconduct gets forgotten. Love exists because we need it to, not because it is. 14-Dec-2021
S1E6. Unmasking love is seeing a most ugly bitch. 13-Dec-2021
S1E2. These fuckers are serious. They bank money when they tell the truth. Amounts are deducted for lies. The game has separated the partners into two groups. Villa Panic Attack gets to watch their mates finagle temptation in Whore Villa. To keep the alone group in a state of anxiety our divine hostess shows them a video of their partner intermingling with exes, stalkers and professionals. After gaining their interest she seduces them into watching a prime video that contains the nasty stuff. But, it will cost them. The gays are sad. The heeled one is living a fantasy with a man who doesn't care. His partner tried itemizing the men he sexually stalked online but he couldn't count that high. He was giddy from the twink they hired to give him hope. The alone partner gets to watch the videos with their housemates. Reactions are perceptive. They call out the bullshit, cry over confessions, make cute funny, rally around the broken hearted and rage at the whores. 03-Dec-2021
S1E1. Lying whores compete to tell the truth, stop fucking and prove to their partners they are worthy. Mental breakdowns in paradise. A tall pretty stick gave his partner a panic attack by lying three times after one question, the gays always lie when confronted with the truth, a boyfriend fessed to not getting aroused by his girlfriend's paraglider fashion and the hostess is creepily divine. I'm in. 02-Dec-2021

Tags: Daddy Squish, Foreign, Fun, Funny, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Sex, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ Funny

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14-Dec-2021


Coming Out Colton (2021-) WhimperUpgradeArf

The doc is about a lost boy who discovered his sexuality and needs to establish his purpose. His rock of friends are keeping him planted in religion and suburban magic. The gays just want to have sex. All the time. Every fucking minute of their lives. Colton is an alpha looking for daddy hugs. Daddies like babies. The classic gays add to the confusion. No one tells this young man the truth. Successful relationships don't occur that often, the more you fuck the better you are until that's all you have to offer and we will continue to have uncomfortable conversations about our love for dick, forever. Colton's attention span is limited. He appears as if the person recounting their history is speaking a different language and maybe they are. He doesn't fit anywhere and that's ok. Gus Kenworthy could not contain himself and flirted with Colton's hot dad. That was a real gay moment. 09-Dec-2021
Boy, does he ever. Colton blames the lack of good character on being a bottled gay. The series portrays coming out as a self-involved beauty pageant. I told my mother and she told the rest. Done. That's how latinos do it. I also told her over the phone so she wouldn't hit me. The family is cold. Relationships are strained. He has support because they need to continue riding the success wave in order to survive. Coming out is not the real story. Staying "in" is. 03-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Drama, Fatigue, Gay, Hot Swatch, Out of Place, Political, Reality, Relationships, Tacky, Weird, Writ Basic

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09-Dec-2021


Gentefied (2020-) HowlDowngrade

It got silly this season. Thanksgiving was a standout. It stopped preaching to deliver the passion of family celebration. It's about good food and the asshole who keeps bringing up the past. Daddy roared mightily. Cousin chef has great nips. His girlfriend has a full vocabulary. The lesbians are scattered. The characters are blanching because the spices are fucked up. It seems disrespectful to fight over a policy that has been acknowledged by all parties. 05-Dec-2021
Celebrating the heritage that creates a Mexican that all else take for granted. Choices are different for families that break their bones for the sustainability of another race. The fear arises when in order to subsist, the heritage dissipates... like plastic.. because its environmentally abusive in the land of the free. They're obnoxious, loud, tacky, sweet, lovable, squishy, touching, funny and bright. Gracias. 04-Mar-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Adorable, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Lesbian, Music Rocks, Nostalgic, Political, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Tacky, Tough, Unity, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

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05-Dec-2021


Lost In Space (2018-) Woof

S3. All grown up and still dazzling us. 03-Dec-2021
Season 2 served so much syrup it almost drowned the pancakes. The Robinsons' catastrophe meter wriggled so much I wondered why they're not in pieces. Am I supposed to notice that the robot has a big ass? The action rumbles, throttles and shakes you down. Big-screen treatment for a TV mindset. Dr. Smith is a hoot bitchier, the actors are scratching their posts and I'm still in. 05-Jan-2020
Even though the orangutan inspired robot invalidates its predecessor the show succeeded in modern interpretation. There's papi squish, mama force, baby hutzpah and multicultural opportunity. Constructive sci-fi action and Parker Posey's iteration of Dr. Smith as the ultimate lying bitch are its standouts. 29-Jun-2018

Tags: 2010s, Action, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Director's Touch, Drama, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Mystery, Over the Top, Relationships, Repetitive, Sci-Fi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Twinkie, Unity, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Tight

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03-Dec-2021


Luis Miguel (2018-) Woof

Children connected to great art are drippings. It doesn't bang at the end because the legend pulls back and stops talking. It becomes a showcase for why he agreed to do the series in the first place. Art is bigger than a man's character. 23-Nov-2021
S3E2. Mariah needs more bleach. Mariah's raspy voice and street smarts are reimagined as a black person with perfect diction trying to pass as white. Did anybody study Mariah Carey? Mariah looks white but sounds black. Fake Mariah looks black and sounds white. 21-Nov-2021
S1E12. Enacting the miserable life of a wonder boy. His beauty, talent, luck, success, sex and family disappointment. Diego Boneta swags like the legend and is pretty too. Oscar Jaenada played the conniving dad like the aggressive uncle we all know and don't want to talk to. Mom and dad spew fine words without mental insight. Mother is saintly. A woman lost in the clouds, attempting modernization, succeeding at it but getting distracted by birthing and security. Her story is incomplete. The baby Luis' were great. The voices enchanted. It compelled as many times as it expired. Like organic. 14-Nov-2021

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Funny, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Music Rocks, Musical, Nostalgic, Relationships, Sentimental, Sexy, Twinkie, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ w/Possibilities

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23-Nov-2021


Locke & Key (2020-) WoofDowngradeEarly Exit

I no longer want in. 06-Nov-2021
S2E4. I'm calling the locksmith. My key must be jammed. I can't get in. 02-Nov-2021
I don't question the magic of the keys, only where you stick them to achieve it. 10-Feb-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Chemistry, Creepy, Director's Touch, Drama, Early Exit, Fantasy, Fun, Pretty, Relationships, Twinkie, Wit Snit

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06-Nov-2021


You (2018-) Howl

Psycho settles into suburban madness. The psychology is rewritten to fit a desperate suburbanite. Pretension is the clarification of ascension. Psychos don't have bouts of good feelings. If they do it's the reason they're killing. Silence as I listened to Penn Badgley make me laugh, hurl and cum. Respect to Victoria Pedretti's restraint as a frustrated woman. Shalita Grant filled her empty cup. Travis Van Winkle enshrined it. Dylan Arnold needed more daddy laps. Tati Gabrielle was feathery. Daddy Speedman needed Dylan Arnold to sit on his lap. The whole was to make a monkey out of me. I love that shit! 02-Nov-2021
Leave it to California ("the Hellmouth") to turn a serial into a romantic victim. The pyschology was bi-polar and the disentanglements were happenstance and charred. I'm not excited to see a third season. 31-Dec-2019
The thrill of the cum trampled by a kick in the balls. The delicacies of love entrenched by intrinsic mind bending. Badgley steals the crown structuring the depth of his humanity and indignation. 20-Apr-2019

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, From Another Planet, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Great Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Pretty, Psychological, Relationships, Romance, Star Watt, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writer's Peak

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02-Nov-2021


Too Hot Too Handle: Latino (2021-) Arf

Latinos in heat. Charbroiled. 01-Nov-2021

Tags: Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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01-Nov-2021


Maid (2021-) Arf

S1E1. Confused mother abandons an angry husband that punches holes in the walls instead of punching them and has no history of physical violence. Oooooh. Scary. She runs with her daughter and gobbles up what the system has to offer. Her mate is a responsive Nick Robinson. Fuck her. 11-Oct-2021

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Cliche, Daddy Squish, Drama, Insulting, Relationships, Static, Timid, Tired, Words Spoke

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11-Oct-2021




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