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Some older gay men date younger partners – but the reasons are more complex than you think
“It is intellectual, and it repeatedly exists between an older and a younger man,” began Oscar Wilde during his testimony for gross indecency in 1895.
“When the older man has intellect, and the younger man has all the joy, hope and glamour of life before him. That it should be so, the world does not understand. So the world mocks at it.”
Over 100 years on, it is still largely true that “the world does not understand.” So much so, these very words by Wilde are used in the context of contemporary queer cultural discussions today.
Science tells us that trauma is often carried with us for life and can lead to complicated repercussions when it comes to sexual attraction. One resultant effect is that gay men are far more likely to fetishise body image and form deep sexual attractions to certain types of men – such as an insistence on dating particularly masculine, particularly feminine or particularly old or young men – and are likely to carry those image obsessions with them throughout their lives.
Woman outed a gay man who didn’t pay her $5000 to keep quiet. She was murdered hours later.
After posting a Facebook Live video in which she threatened to out a man if he didn’t pay her $5000, 40-year-old Indianapolis woman Jane Waughfield was shot and killed.
In the seventeen-minute video, Waughfield said she walked in on a man she had sex with “a long time ago” when he was having sex with another man. She said she entered his apartment looking for her phone.
She felt horrified and repulsed. “I feel disgusted,” she said in the video. “I’ve been sick all day.”
Waughfield said she threatened to out the men if they didn’t pay her $5000.
“If you don’t give me some money I’m fucking telling everybody,” she said. “Oh, y’all don’t want to pay? Bitch, I let you give me some head and you were fucking niggers in the ass?”
Colby Melvin on sobering up, sex, and the cruelty of social media
There are a lot of motivational posts on Colby Melvin’s Facebook page these days.
Memes about being kind to yourself, pulling yourself out of dark places, reasons for getting sober.
Sober? Yep. America’s 31-year-old underwear sweetheart, businessman, entrepreneur, the man who can pull off a jockstrap, literally, and still look as innocent as his baby blue eyes—or are they green, hazel, gray? Aye, there’s his mischievous rub—is back from a rough couple of years of depression, despair, and drugs.
He’s also ready to talk, his voice something he’s never been afraid to use.
Speaking to Colby on the phone in Louisiana, where he now lives, again, with the parents who raised him, he didn’t shy away from a single question or tell me any subject was off-limits.
If he bared anything to Queerty, this time it was his soul.
A variety of things. It started a few years ago. There’s something about being in the public eye. Your life becomes public property. Everyone is criticizing or weighing in or judging. It’s hard for it not to get to you.
Nanny cam at Phoenix home catches federal agent smelling girl's underwear
A former federal law enforcement officer, accused of having a sexual motive for smelling a girl's dirty underwear in her bedroom, will be allowed to serve unsupervised probation.
Deputy U.S. Marshal David Timothy Moon, 50, was touring a Phoenix home for sale last May.
While his real estate agent was in another room, Moon went inside a 3-year-old girl's bedroom, according to a police report. He focused on the laundry hamper in the corner. He dug through the dirty laundry and pulled out what appeared to be the girl's underwear.
Michigan man secretly recorded raping child by wife pleads guilty
A 5-year-old girl was raped on the grounds of the US Embassy in New Delhi, police say
WHY SO MANY TRANS GUYS CHANGE SEXUAL ORIENTATION, TOO
Kai, a 21-year-old student in D.C., used to identify as a lesbian — until they started testosterone. Ever since, Kai has retired their previously held lesbian identity, both because they no longer identify as a woman and because they’re experiencing attraction to men for the first time. “I think maybe before I wasn’t giving myself the option to be attracted to queer men, but now because I’m more comfortable in myself, [my] gender and gender presentation, I’m allowing myself that possibility,” they write via Twitter DM.
Kai is far from the first trans person to experience a difference in their sexual orientation after transitioning. Last year, them rounded up a number of studies tracking the changing realm of attraction many trans people experience: In one study, 40 percent of trans men reported a change in their sexual orientation; in another, 49 percent of transmascs recorded the same.
Texas mother trying to transition her seven-year-old son into a girl loses in court as judge orders her to share custody with ex-husband who says boy is just 'confused'
South Dakota just passed a bill that could jail doctors for treating transgender youth
A man beat a transgender woman for using the correct bathroom -- the women's. Now he's guilty of a hate crime
The gay men risking their health for the perfect body
Jeff Ingold, from LGBT charity Stonewall says it is "crucial" that we see more diverse representations of gay and bisexual men with different body types in the media.
"Not only would this help gay and bi men see themselves reflected in what they watch, it would also help break down harmful stereotypes that affect gay and bi men's body image and self-esteem."
But as it is, Jakeb says he still gets people online telling him they "wouldn't leave the house if they looked like me".
"I didn't go on pride marches and have bricks thrown at me to have the community we've got now," he says.
"We have equality, but we're horrible to each other."
Straight man severely beaten while defending his friends from gay bashers
A 30-year-old man named Lee Brobson says he was beaten up by two men on January 26 while defending his two pals from a homophobic attack during a night out drinking in Chelmsford, an English city in the shire of Essex about 40 miles northeast of London.
Brobson and his two friends, Dan and Clark, were walking from one bar to another when they saw two men near a local fish and chips shop glaring at Dan and Clark holding hands. When Clark said hello and asked what they were gawking at, the men started following the group and calling them “f*****s” and “unnatural.”
Church of England: Sex Is OK Only in Heterosexual Marriage
Sexual activity is only acceptable within the marriage of a man and a woman — so says a new document issued by the Church of England.
That’s not a new stance for the church, which is considered the mother church of the worldwide Anglican Communion, of which the much more liberal U.S. Episcopal Church is a member. But the Church of England is putting out the guidance because the British government has made civil partnerships, which are not quite equal to marriage, available to heterosexual couples, The Guardian reports.
Do Open Relationships Work?
An open relationship means you still have one primary partner but both can have other sexual partners. Polyamory means you have multiple relationships that are both emotional as well as sexual. There is no primary.
I grew up like you. Thinking you find your “one”, exchange vows, make babies, and live happily ever after. This person is your best friend and soulmate. Your forever and one and only. This is what love looks like and what everyone wants.
If I look at this through a biological lens, we are not designed to be with one person forever. That is a social/societal construct with a shame fence that keeps us from straying. Our bodies crave diversity. We are curious creatures. We have fantasies and imaginations. We are hardwired this way.
My conclusion with “the obvious.”
Good Men Project
An art professor beat her colleague with a poker after confessing unrequited “love” for the woman
Rie Hachiyanagi, a 48-year-old art professor at Mount Holyoke College in Massachusetts, has been charged with attempting to murder an unnamed female co-worker over the age of 60 with a rock, a fire poker, and garden shears after the colleague didn’t return Hachiyanagi’s romantic advances. The alleged attack occurred in the early morning hours of Christmas Eve.
Kentucky judge accused of having a threesome in the courthouse
Priest removed from ministry after he was busted taking “disturbing” pics of high school wrestlers
Tweet on the Struggle of Growing Up Queer Goes Viral
"Queer people don't grow up as ourselves, we grow up playing a version of ourselves that sacrifices authenticity to minimise humiliation & prejudice. The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves are truly us & which parts we've created to protect us," he wrote on Twitter.
Baton Rouge Teenager Arrested for Allegedly Ripping Boyfriend's Testicles
A Baton Rouge teenager has been arrested for allegedly ripping another man's testicles during a fight, the local CBS-affiliate reports.
How to survive the holidays when your family doesn't know you're gay
No one wants to spend Christmas in the closet, but for many people, it’s a fact of life. Even though I am very publicly queer, some of my extended family members have opted out of processing that message. I rarely see them, but when I do, everyone pretends I’m not gay. While I’m a big fan of coming out, for some folx, coming out can be emotionally or physically dangerous. Trying to spend quality time with people who don’t acknowledge your identity can be alienating and painful. I asked some of my most trusted mental health experts how we can deal with spending the holidays with family who don't know you're gay.
Identify what your choices are...
The first thing you need to know is that you have choices. “I think one of the most important things is to decide whether or not you want to spend time with family members who don't know,” says Stefani Goerlich, a Detroit-based psychotherapist. “Not everyone is ready to come out to their relatives, but for those that are ready, being forced back into the closet for the holidays can be an incredibly painful experience.”
In gayspeak, does LTR mean overnight or weekend stay? 24-Oct-2019
Kids of gay parents fare worse, study finds, but research draws fire from experts
A new study that finds children of a gay or lesbian parent may be more likely to have social and emotional problems has sparked controversy on both sides of the same-sex marriage debate.
The study, from Mark Regnerus, an associate professor of sociology at The University of Texas at Austin, surveyed more than 15,000 Americans between the ages of 18 and 39, asking them questions about their upbringings. Its findings are published in the July issue of Social Science Research.
One survey question asked whether a parent had been in a same-sex relationship during a child's upbringing; Regnerus wanted to see whether there were differences between kids raised in a household by a parent in a same-sex relationship compared with those who were raised by biological parents who were married and heterosexual.
Sixty-nine percent of children of lesbian mothers reported that their family received public assistance, such as welfare at some point, compared with 17 percent from intact biological families. About half of children of an intact biological family said they were employed full-time, compared with 26 percent of those born to a lesbian mother. Fourteen percent of kids of a lesbian mom spent time in foster care at some point, compared with 2 percent of the rest of the children studied. Overall, less than 2 percent of all respondents who said their mother had a same-sex relationship reported living with their mom and her partner for all 18 years of their childhood.