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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Relationships'

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Napoleon Dynamite (2004) Woof

So stupid, it's funny. 22-Jun-2021

Tags: 2000s, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Funny, Grating, Heart Writ, Music Swings, Political Satire, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Silly, Stupid Funny, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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22-Jun-2021


Untamed Youth (1957) Woof

Two pretty young things are arrested for vagrancy and swimming naked on a journey to Hollywood. Judge Judy gives them a choice, work on an agricultural farm or go to prison. Bubbleheads decide to pick cotton. Cotton pickers are rare and farmers are using the prisoners to make a profit. The farm is run by a Red Superman that enforces more than he preaches. He unleashes killer dogs on pregnant teens, serves them dog food, dehydrates them, kills, terminates, rapes, blackmails and threatens. Yet, every night, after picking cotton all day and eating dog food, the all gender prisoners find a way to perform a rock n' roll number. Red Superman is secretly married to Judge Judy. Judge Judy's gorgeous son starts working on the farm and catches the eye of the younger sister. Gorgeous son becomes weary of commandment and investigates. Judge Judy is plastered with red dick. She knows nothing. The musical numbers scream immediate cancellation but the performers look so good pushing it. Mamie Van Doren was a sex gift that calypsoed. She worked her butt off entertaining the boys. Is it historically credible that only white people, hispanics and lesbians committed all of America's crimes? The lesbian was a pisser. Puff prison pulp fun. 20-Jun-2021

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Action, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultish, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Musical, Relationships, Sentimental, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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20-Jun-2021


Velvet Touch, The (1948) Howl

Broadway legend destroys many lives by extinguishing her commitment to a producer/lover. She's in love with a big nosed romantic, wants to change producers and to take risks in her career. Love has changed her. Angelina's so giddy that she makes amends with her nemesis and promises to return Brad to her. She plots a clean break but reality throws a curveball. The mare and the stallion have a violent showdown. He shoots her with accountability bullets, she kills him with rage and the crime scene shifts towards Jennifer. Rosalind Russell is a sharp wit, a cutthroat and a talent. She doesn't want to go to prison but can't allow an innocent person to take the blame. Her act within the act is marvelous and addictive. You follow her til the wrenching curtain call where her choices are bad for everyone but her luck remains the same. Sydney Greenstreet as Captain Danbury was a playful bear who appeared smarter than written. Theresa Harris expended tears and wit as a black assistant. Dan Tobin was gay significant. Claire Trevor looked like the type you leave. The movie had bitchy guts and a tight pussy. 19-Jun-2021

Tags: 1940s, Chemistry, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Achievement, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Mystery, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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19-Jun-2021


Prodigal, The (1955) Woof

A wealthy Hebrew is so tantalized by the beauty of a High Priestess that he cashes in his inheritance, dumps his fiancé and says adios to his family for a trip to pagan city. He meets nice assistance on the way and creates a family to help get him closer to his goal. She may serve two gods but he'll convince her there is only one. He woos her without losing his morality. Until he does. It is a lavish retelling of a bible story that is quite brutal and timely. God vs False Idols. Do we kill the people we don't agree with or enslave them? Lana Turner hit all the right Goddess marks and seduced our lenses. Edmund Purmon muscled his way through. The action held up. After the flirtation and consummation, arise feelings of conflict (him) and love (her.) It appeared that the most expensive fuck of his life was a bummer. He becomes a slave for holding on to his spirituality and starts a white slave uprising. 14-Jun-2021

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Enthusiastic, Funny, Heart Writ, History, Music Swings, Relationships, Revenge, Sexy, Suspense, Tough, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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14-Jun-2021


Careless Years, The (1957) Whimper

What are the lengths an untouched teen queen and a rebel rouser go to have sex without guilt? Get married? The parents are as excited of their proposal as invited homophobic family members are to go to a gay wedding. The movie/man obsesses whether they should have sex anyway since they're going to be together forever. The angst of a girl clinging to a specialty that means nothing to the man she's giving it to, is ridiculous. Just have it, already! Sex is just another addiction in life, like pooping. It was interesting to watch a baby Dean Stockwell preen like James Dean and Barbara Billingsley do the mama thing she does so well but the movie is about nothing. 13-Jun-2021

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Director's Touch, Drama, Hot Swatch, Preposterous, Relationships, Silly, Subtle, Timid, Twinkie, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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13-Jun-2021


Ten Little Indians (1965) Arf

10 influencers are united in a snow piled chateau. The invite comes from a madman that wants to cancel them. The mystery's psychological reasoning is based on a demented individual's power grab to replace God and punish the unrighteous. But, they're so pretty and knowledgeable. Fabian smears his loveliness on the lens but is too uptight to relax and be cool. Daliah Lavi's exaggerated mane turned her into a cold stereotypical Hollywood starlet. Hugh O'Brian looked even better with his shirt off. Marianne Hoppe seemed hopped on something as the scared German maid. Was she supposed to be ridiculous? Gay old codgers know everything. It's a cheap attempt to intrigue us with outdated characters from a board game. 10-Jun-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Action, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stink Wigs, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tacky, Timid, Trashy, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

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10-Jun-2021


Birth (2004) Woof

Ten years have passed since her husband's death. The widow has moved on and is celebrating her engagement to a new beau when it's disrupted by an unnerving 10 year old who shows up and claims he is the spirit of her dead husband. His presence causes family uproar as they try to unmask a poverty-stricken child in love with Lady Nic that claims she shouldn't re-marry. The boy's unflinching demeanor is squirmy as Nic's is artistic. The director shot a continuous pan of Lady Nic giving beautiful stoic face but didn't clinch it with an ironic exclamation. He tried the same trick with the boy on the bench but the boy couldn't sit still. Lauren Bacall established herself. Danny Huston spoke for everyone as the jinxed and insecure groom who wanted to bash "returned husband's" brains out. Lady Nic doesn't unfurl until the end but it's strong. When Anne Heche blew up she exploded fantastically. If someone claims to be a lost loved one, you have to listen, even if it's ludicrous. 03-Jun-2021

Tags: 2000s, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Funny, Sort of, Music Swings, Mystery, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Subtle, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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03-Jun-2021


A Perfect Murder (1998) Woof

A perfect cast to incorporate it. Viggo Moretensen of perfect hunkdom and cracked beauty played the lover. He seduced and slithered the pants off of Michael Douglas, Gwyneth Paltrow and the audience. I loved it when Michael pulled Viggo's hair. SAF. Someone is having an affair, someone is being betrayed and someone has to die. Lady Goop has fairy essence conjuring ways for us to be comfortable in her diabolical surroundings. Dude, she spoke two languages without an accent and ate pot roast. WTF. She's an alien. Yeah, I'm onboard. Daddy Douglas has gone to battle with a woman before. I presume he's won some. He relished it. It's fun, elegant crime trash done to aplomb and it beats wasting $30.00 on people uglier than me. 02-Jun-2021

Tags: 1990s, Camp, Chemistry, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Relationships, Suspense, Thriller, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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02-Jun-2021


Petulia (1968)  Howl

 
It was on my list for a lifetime but I never got to it. Daddy Doctor Rio is separated from his wife and kids because he doesn't want to die a passionless fuck. A fragile beauty with manic episodes invades his life and his choices. She is victimized by her husband, Richard Chamberlain, who was annoyingly pretty and agonizingly gay. Julie Christie was that thing you only find once. Her beauty was her art. George C. Scott roared obsession and determination. Shirley Knight whipped her hair back and forth and got slammed with cookies that she baked for George C. Scott by George C. Scott. The music pushes it, the elegance enchants it and the crew elaborates on it. 02-Jun-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Relationships, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Touching, Tough, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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02-Jun-2021


East Side West Side (1949) Arf

Tricky dick (James Mason) happily married to a lesbian sophisticate is tempted by the return of his tempestuous alpha lesbian lover. Barbara Stanwyck and Van Heflin have comaraderie and the camera loved Ava Gardner and Cyd Charisse but the crime caper is overdone. The cameos from Fred Mertz as an ironic sober bartender and the best female cocksucker in Hollywood under an assumed name, lend it Pokemon status. The girls were fabulous, the film was okay. 28-May-2021

Tags: 1940s, Accidental Watch, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Lesbian, Mystery, Over the Top, Relationships, Romance, Star Watt, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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28-May-2021


Devil-Doll, The (1936) Woof

Escaped prisoner hitches with a dying scientist who wants to make it home so he can shrink people with his wife and change the world. The protagonist just wants to avenge the men who set him up and gain his daughter's respect. The escapees make it to the wife's cottage. A frightfully wonderful Rafaela Ottiano plays the faithful wife who has maintained his experiments and awaited his arrival. They want to shrink people so they can consume less and help the environment. It starts with dogs, jumps to lowly humans and precipitates into people you want canceled. Lionel Barrymore is top notch as the set-up guy lucking into revenge. The dolls have brilliant moments and shoddy ones. The dolls are a cameo to the story of a man that has to become a woman to safeguard his family and prove his innocence. 24-May-2021

Tags: 1930s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Achievement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Horror, Mystery, Relationships, Revenge, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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24-May-2021


Nest, The (2020) Arf

American family encounters alienation when they move to England to satisfy Daddy's whim. Daddy is a financial security risk who thinks that success lays in places not people, momma is stuck climbing a mental hill on repetition, the boy is spooked by his surroundings and the daughter has a knack for loud music, parties and drugs. Jude Law and Carrie Coon lend strength to a script that takes their characters nowhere. 21-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Drama, Good Acting, Mystery, Relationships, Slow, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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21-May-2021


Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) Bites

Patty Jenkins went on a shopping spree with the film's budget. Did she leave most of it home? It opens with baby Diana discovering clever ways to somersault at the White Female Olympics. She's unbearable, I mean unbeatable even as a child. Cue applause and adoration. There should have been a lot of irony in a woman raised to best everyone, even in goodness. Years of not belonging in the world would have brought her detachment from it. She wouldn't fall apart over Steve Trevor and she definitely wouldn't pine for him for over a 100 years. Compassion is a side effect of a movement. Coldness is a statistic of war. Everything you hate about the movies is in this one. The older maidens are given minimal time. (They didn't study their accents, again.) Cheetah might have been intriguing as a black character with white superiority issues. Yes, make it a race thing. Pedro Pascal left his guts on the floor while Ms. Jenkins took a nap. Steve's explanation for existing in the future was best established on the 70s TV series. Future Steve could have been the great grandson of dead Steve. Incestuous hook-ups and emotional consequences. It would have been a great place to establish personal turmoil. Gadot needed to wear some of the tear in Wonder Woman's battle history to find her strength because it ain't crying.

Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Comic Book, Corn, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Inactivity, Over the Top, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Romance, Silly, Slow, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Trashy, TV-like, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writer Humiliation

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14-May-2021


Elizabeth Harvest (2018) Whimper

Mad genius harvests wife until she gets it right. Ciaran Hinds does as he looks with no surprises. A better intro to Elizabeth's beginnings might have given the character depth because in the present, she's a dope. Carla Gugino wasted her brilliant cream and Matthew Beard creeped me out. The process of thinking is so wasteful. 14-May-2021

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Depressing, Disappointment, Fatigue, Horror, Mystery, Relationships, Slow, Star Watt, Weird, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

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14-May-2021


Housemaid, The (2010) Woof

Shuttered young woman accepts a job caring for a very well established family. Wife is made of plastic things and pregnant with twins. She believes her silent brute won't cheat on her because she's the perfect wife having miracle twins. "A man does not cheat on perfection." That is her motto and her curse. The eldest child is a delightful package. She is brave to say what's on her mind and sorry if it offends. A matriarch of servitude is the expert of the house, teaching the young woman how back breaking and useless it is making rich people happy. She is Mrs. Danvers, respectfully. Plotting, conniving, avenging, infiltrating and non-stop hurting to become like part of the family. Daddy is a self-absorbed god. Maid is a sexual magnet. An imperfect powerless naif to be completely his. The mother of the house is an awesome witch ready to set fire to anything that brings shame to their name. The scandal turns ingratiating maid into a hostile. The women cancel her for breaching family code... " you don't steal sperm from family gods that you are serving without asking the women first. Revenge is awesome. 10-May-2021

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Foreign, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Scary, Sexy, Star Watt, Subtle, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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10-May-2021




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