All Posts Tagged as 'Music Swings'
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Claudelle Inglish (1961)
Farmer's daughter is in full bloom and her scent is driving all the boys/men crazy. The most beautiful boy in the world yanks the flower from its stem, treats her real nice and gets engaged to her before his deployment. Claudelle's mother is the most disgusted wife in America. She loathes the hard work, 20 years of false promises and humiliating poverty. Claudelle's boy may be beautiful but he's a sucker farmer like daddy. Mother wanted better for her daughter. She deserved gifts, pampering and immunity. Girl doesn't care he's poor. She's in love. Daddy agrees. He is a romantic loser who thinks that memories of courting his wife are enough to survive hardship. Beautiful boy spends a year in the army, romantic letters ensue and tragic news upsets her future. The town boys/men pounce. She negates then accepts. Her scent becomes toxic. Every present was a reminder of how far she went. Her room was stacked. Her dad had a humiliating conversation with his boss about marrying his daughter. The boss was older than daddy and the reason the family were poor. I'm assuming that Claudelle slept with every father and son in town except for her dad and the Reverend. My mouth was agape at every sharp turn. Claudelle did as mother said and used sex to liberate herself of men because men are victims of promises they can't keep. 20-Apr-2021
Pleasantries are spoiled by disappointments. It parodies all fairytales then drenches them with honey. Wilmer Valderrama is drawn like a long faced witch with big dick attitude and no substance. The brides are Godzilla stupid but the music is nice and the singing is delightful. Long-faced cartoons are not charming. 05-Apr-2021
Owl And The Pussycat, The (1970)
Lady Barbra plays a hooker with aspirations. George Segal is the bookish wannabe writer whose life she upends. He rats on her for soliciting, she gets evicted and moves in. He inherits a lot of sexual frustration and mental exasperation. Nobody gay bashes like Streisand. (She can bash me all she wants as long as I win her over with my charming personality. That's how you make friends.) She's representing a full fledged character that served the writer well. Why not. If everybody were the same we'd all be Trump. Segal and Streisand are brilliantly funny, introspective, sexy, beautiful and artistic. The words are grand, it flows, we care and it means something. There is a point in your life where you realize that you will never amount to more than what you are. You can at least try to enjoy it with someone in the same boat. 25-Mar-2021
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Mel Brooks' enunciation play is brilliant art. The cast shred with equal parts hilarity and 100% talent. It carouses like a very funny sequel. 10-Mar-2021
Rental, The (2020)
Renting a luxury home owned by white supremacists when there is a minority in the group. The cast met the challenge, relationships were established but the surprise was overdue. It doesn't make sense that it would choose this particular moment to explode. They simplified the monster to avoid an impact. Franco insanity make the colors more vibrant but the director's lack of mythology gave us no reason to care about it.
Next time, go nuts! 01-Mar-2021
Swiss Family Robinson (1960)
Swiss family travel the high seas to claim new land and eco-trash it. Pirates attack their ship as they sleep, all the passengers jump to safety and nobody bothers to awaken them. Were they not liked? They were probably snooty. TG they left an animal farm, nails and enough ammo to kill an army. Shipwrecked. The Ewoks would have barked at the unrealism the family used to erect a tree palace but it's fun Disney magic. As they settle into tranquility the parents ponder the future of their three sons. The boys would inherit nothing without women to love lest they do the animals or worst, each other. A trans boy makes it onto the island and Cain and Abel are awakened to some sexual clarity. It's preposterously gorgeous, impossible, animalistic, adventurous, violent and joyous. 28-Feb-2021
United States Vs. Billie Holiday (2021)
Men of the United States vs. a gifted opinion. She may have been a vampire but all the men sucked her dry. We cancelled her and she died. Who's fault is that? Andra Day. Her hard work is on the floor. She never reached druggy nirvana because she kept her light on even as things got darker. Pitch perfect on voice and beauty. The real legend was nasty and obtrusive. More of that. Trevante Rhodes is a cum daddy. I can cum by the thought of him. Tone Bell came and realized the fantasy but Rhodes went and smashed it with inhuman muscular sex. Rob Morgan is the guy with the 18 1/2" just older. Yum. Lee Daniels does not fuss too much. He wants to tell a clean story. When he imagines a woman's sensuality through the eyes of a victimized child, it is golden but when he doesn't subjugate us with it, the passion is lost. It would have been diamond had he folded with consummation. He couldn't give in to that. (We can take it daddy.) He kept the politics low and gave the legend the last laugh. That's cool. 27-Feb-2021
Space Sweepers (2021)
The earth has become Mexico red. 5 percent of the privileged population safely inhabit space while governing the remaining 95% that will die with earth. Space sweepers clear space from waste. It's a competition. The team who swipes it first wins and gets paid. I got absorbed in its universal travelogue. I wanted to see more of dying earth and plastic earth but understood the budget restrictions. They concentrated on delivering a humane story against a space adventure. The robot is a human-like child set to detonate and cause a nuclear disaster on earth. She is the new cargo the Victory ship undertakes. They are afraid of her as they are enamored. It's done with cheeky humor, a team that kicked ass and a heart that saps with the wind. It doesn't hit your face in a glob. It spreads out so you can gently dab. Every representation spoke their language and it sounded musical and educational. The little girl was adorable and the action was Tony The Tiger. 18-Feb-2021
Avengers, The (2012)
Arise the madness. Superhero magnificence. 16-Feb-2021
Pete's Dragon (2016)
This is the the corny one but not to death. Elliot is a majestic dragon with fur and radioactive green. It still acts like a dog but it's butchy. Slave boy becomes orphan boy after wandering off into the forest post a fatal family crash. He is adopted by Elliott, becomes Tarzan boy, lives with animals, lives like animals and acquires 6 years knowledge of the English language by reading the same baby book over and over. No. The dragon doesn't talk. He whimpers. I frown on animals talking but dragons don't exist so it's okay for them to talk when we need shit explained. Redford was enervating, Howard was luminous and Fegly imagined. Sweet and magical moments stand out. 16-Feb-2021
Pete's Dragon (1977)
As a child I was terrified that the corniness of the film would kill me so I never bothered to watch it. It's corny with dragon balls. Green dragon appears to a runaway slave in need of help. The mythology of why the dragon appears or who sent him is slight. The boy's buyers are backwoods insane with a penchant for punishing children with violence and physical labor. Little boy slave flees with his dragon to Karentown where he meets the liberated mom of his magical dreams in a town not easily convinced by his dirty face. Elliot the dragon is not as big as you'd expect, probably because a kid imagined him, he's green with fairy wings and a mohawk. I thought he was going to talk. He does not talk. He murmurs? He also acts like a bumbling dog and can become invisible. You can feel the smallness of the town and the film. It's quaint with great aspirations. 16-Feb-2021
Bedknobs And Broomsticks (1971)
At the age of nine my gay aunt took me to see this film. It was my first time in an American Movie Theater. Of course mother took me to the theater but it had to be in Spanish and include softcore porn, party music and/or sadistic violence. I saw that shit everyday. I wanted magic.
A witch that needs one last spell to obliterate the Nazis. Awesome education for kids. Show them who the enemy is. Angela Lansbury weaved spells and lulled me soundly to sleep. Charming no-nonsense woman. The spells were clever, the effects maintained the innocence of the time and the magic was reestablished. The writers concocted fairytales from the jumble in kids' heads and made sense of them. The music, the production, the fun and great sportsmanship kept the gift alive. Thank you, Auntie. 08-Feb-2021
Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith (2005)
General Grievous is a product of Lucas' craft. The Tech Master hardly disappointed. The fail was foretelling everything before it happened depriving us of emotional surprise and leaning heavily on sap. I thought Hayden was done vomiting. Dude, he had diarrhea and it stank up the whole universe. I replaced him with a young Jack Nicholson. (Jack was dark, charming and a hoot. That laugh.) Unfortunately the saga is reliant on Anakin Skywalker making a satisfying transition to Darth Vader. He does not. I would have put a helmet on that kid halfway through the 2nd film just to avoid the misery. He even infected Natalie Portman. Samuel L. Jackson couldn't give three fucks. Ewan McGregor sported adorable hair, eloquence and force chill. Yoda kicked more ass. Christensen yucked it up! The diarrhea was epidemic. 06-Feb-2021
Star Wars: Attack Of The Clones (2002)
Ewan Mcgregor found the force. Samuel L. Jackson couldn't give two shits. Christopher Lee honored his count. Natalie Portman settled in. Hayden Christensen was anemic and woozy and almost vomited all over the film except that the magic of George Lucas was dominant and triumphant. TG. Can we CG him out? More universe is explored, Jango Fett and Yoda kicked ass and the adventure was accomplished. I loved playing this game. 05-Feb-2021
Finding Ohana (2021)
I never tire of looking at Hawaiian vistas and cultural beauty. Magic is a belief that you follow if you seek adventure over truth. The story may be chewing gum but the kids are hilarious. The caper, that song, the energy and those people, keep you watching. 03-Feb-2021