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Dear Abby: Her pet name for my husband is out of line, but they won’t stop 


DEAR ABBY: A young, attractive female co-worker of my husband’s addresses him by his first name ending with “ly” (example: “Georgely”). When I asked how the name was acquired, both of them claimed they didn’t remember.

They know I do not approve, particularly on social media for the world to see.

I consider pet names a term of endearment, to be reserved for one’s significant other. Am I out of line, or are they?


Dear Abby: Her pet name for my husband is out of line, but they won’t stop

Tags: Advice, Cheating, Horniness, Marriage, Men, Profiling, Relationships, Sex, Threat, Woman's Rights



When Are Babies Scared Of Strangers? Experts Weigh In 

Some folks just can't help themselves. If they see a baby, it's like they must make faces at them, wave to them, or just say hi before they burst. (It's me. I'm some folks.) Sometimes this goes well. Other times the baby is terrified. But when are babies scared of strangers? I would like to know so I don't cause a meltdown by waving to a baby who is just minding their own business.

When Are Babies Scared Of Strangers? Experts Weigh In

Tags: Advice, Children, Choices, Etiquette, Family, Fear, Health, Men, Mental Health, Parenting, Safety, Training, Vulnerable



Why Men Are Bad At Casual Sex 


Dan only lives two streets away from me, so I can’t just blame bad luck when I bump into him on the way to the shop wearing the “Don’t Mess With Yorkshire” novelty T-shirt my dad bought me when I moved to London. Dan swings over on his bike, the two corners of his checked shirt flapping in the wind, like a character from a Harmony Korine film.

“How’s it going, B?” he asks, and I’m so embarrassed by my appearance I want to dissolve into the sewer grate under my feet.

For some reason, I invite him over again. He says he’ll be over in 20 minutes, so I shave my legs over the bath, rub cream blush into my cheeks, put on this powder-blue ribbed lounge set that I saw on Instagram.

“I might actually just go to sleep,” he texts me five minutes later, and I just say, “No worries,” because how can you get annoyed at someone you’re not supposed to rely on? But then he says: “If you send me a nude, I might change my mind.” I take a selfie of me with my top open so you can see my boobs, another with the camera balancing on the radiator with me bent down in front of it. “Damn,” he said. “I’ll let you know what I’m doing in a bit.”

Why Men Are Bad At Casual Sex

Tags: Dating, Men, Priorities, Rejection, Satisfaction, Self Interest, Sex, Women



Getting enough sleep isn’t considered ‘manly’, study finds, because that’s how literally exhausting toxic masculinity is 


According to research published in the Journal of the Association for Consumer Research, a combination of six studies have found that “sleeping less is related to increased perceptions of masculinity, and increased masculinity is related to decreased perceived sleep amounts”.

As well as this, “based on how much they sleep, men face social judgements favouring men who sleep less”.

Getting enough sleep isn’t considered ‘manly’, study finds, because that’s how literally exhausting toxic masculinity is

Tags: Etiquette, Fear, Identity, Judgment, Men, Sleep, Study



Prefer morning sex to nighttime sex? Science could explain why 


The coronavirus pandemic and the anxieties it’s triggered have pretty much stolen my mojo. But pre-pandemic, evening sex, post-dinner and drinks, was absolutely my jam. My partner, on the other hand, was always more down to bone morning or night. I’ve been pondering the cause of my erstwhile evening horniness, and why the time of day didn’t matter as much for my partner. My bigger question: What determines whether you’re horny in the morning or at night?

Prefer morning sex to nighttime sex? Science could explain why

Tags: Anatomy, Men, Preference, Sex, Study, Women



I’m only 36, and I keep having the same problem with men in bed. 


Dear How to Do It,

I’m a 36-year-old single straight woman, and I really didn’t think this was going to be an issue until later in life. I’m a very sexual person (just reading about sex in your column is enough to turn me on) and I’d like to get married one day, but for the past few years, I haven’t even been able to manage halfway decent sex, much less great sex or a relationship. The problem I keep experiencing in the dating world is the same: men with all kinds of erection issues.

The most recent guy could get hard but would lose it after a few thrusts, saying sex doesn’t do it for him these days (he preferred mutual masturbation or blow jobs). Guy No. 2 was good in bed but refused any touching outside of that 20 minutes. Guy No. 3 required 20 minutes of me going down on his flaccid penis before possibly getting hard enough to have intercourse for three minutes (most of the time, he wouldn’t get hard at all). Guy No. 4 hadn’t had sex in years so he’d either come in 30 seconds or he’d stick it in and barely move so he could last five minutes (I could have worked with him sexually, but we broke up for other reasons). Guy No. 5 completely ignored his problem, continuing to thrust even after I told him he was soft (I suspect he had a porn addiction).

The list goes on. I’ve barely had any good sex in the past six years. I don’t know what to do. These guys are all my age or younger. I try to be patient and understanding, asking if there’s something they’d like me to do or offering up a menu of things they might like, but most just shrug awkwardly and avoid talking about it. None of them sound like they’ve made any effort to get help. I get that it can be embarrassing and men might feel ashamed, but these guys keep cropping up in my dating pool. I can orgasm on my own, but I crave and miss sex, and I know I wouldn’t be happy in a relationship without it. So I’m stuck in a lonely, sexually frustrated land and I can’t get out. Any suggestions?

—Elusive Wood

I’m only 36, and I keep having the same problem with men in bed.

Tags: Advice, Anxiety, Dating, Effect, Environment, Evolution, Fear, Health, Intimacy, Men, Mental Health, Performance, Satisfaction, Sex, Women



How Do I Tell My Curvy Wife About My Secret Desire for a Thin Woman?


Dear How to Do It,

My wife and I have been married 14 years and together for 17. We have a pretty strong relationship after a period of stagnation. With raising kids, both of our careers, and all the activities, we found ourselves drained. We have in the last few years refocused on us and our desires and our sex life, intimacy, and our togetherness has grown and reignited.

In this time, my wife has expressed her desire for a kinkier sex life. She kept it to herself all those years (thank you, religion!), her desire for light BDSM (blindfolds, being restrained), and also her desire to be filled and stretched by big dildos. We have explored this. I wasn’t really on board at first, but she was patient with me, and I’ve become accepting of participating and inviting in those things and ideas that give her pleasure. But when it turns back to me, I have one recurring fantasy and I am very reluctant to share it with her. Scared might be a better word. She has always been blessed with a gorgeous body that is beautiful, curvy, and full. I adore her. I adore and crave her body. But I I have this fantasy and curiosity of what it would be like to have sex with a woman who is thin. My wife’s weight limits what we do, position-wise, so she is comfortable. And I am on board with that. We do have fun. But I wonder and fantasize about what it would be like to be more athletic with a partner. To be able to lift her. Or have her on top of me light as a feather. We have had conversations along these lines relating to penis size. She craves the feeling a big dildo gives her, and I’m average. But the last thing I want to do is engage in any form of body shame with her. I love her body. I show her I love her and her body. I also am curious about smaller bodies. What would it be like? We are each other’s only partners.

Do you have any advice for how to explore this together with each other and in a way that is loving and caring for her while also honoring my fantasy? Or with the delicacy of body shame, am I best to keep this one tucked away? With the dildos, I have had to work through shame about my size. It was hard at first. It’s getting easier as we move forward. I see that she enjoys that feeling of the toy and also enjoys me. It isn’t one or the other. She reminds me that she likes what she likes—she likes both. Me and big dildos. I enjoy having sex with her. I’m just curious if there are any creative ways to explore this fantasy with her in a caring way. To be clear, I don’t want to open things up. This is not a backdoor plea to do that. We talked about nonmonogamy as an option for her large dildo/cock desire. She wanted to open up, and I did not. After playing with the toys and role-playing, we concluded monogamy is for us as the toys, plus my presence and care, satisfy her desire to feel full. She asks what I fantasize about and desire. If I’m being honest, this is it—sex with a different-shape body. But sharing this seems very precarious, and I do not want to hurt or shame her in any way.

—Thin Man

How Do I Tell My Curvy Wife About My Secret Desire for a Thin Woman?

Tags: Advice, Boredom, Choices, Marriage, Men, NSFW, Relationships, Satisfaction, Sex, Weight



'We should have the right not to like men': the French writer at centre of literary storm 


When Pauline Harmange, a French writer and aspiring novelist, published a treatise on hating men, she expected it to sell at the most a couple of hundred copies among friends and readers of her blog.

Instead, a threat by a government official to take legal action to ban Moi les hommes, je les déteste (I Hate Men) has made it a sellout. The first 450-copy print run was quickly snapped up, as was the following two reprints. Now 2,500 copies have been sold.

The publisher, Monstrograph, described as a “micropublishing house” run by volunteers, is overwhelmed and says I Hate Men will not be reprinted again unless a bigger publisher comes to the rescue.

Harmange, 25, is a mix of bemused and shell-shocked to find herself in the middle of a literary and political storm. “I didn’t expect this. It’s been an enormous surprise,” she told the Guardian from her home in Lille, northern France, where she lives with her husband, Mathieu, 29, and Eleven the cat. “It’s the first time I’ve had a book come out. I wrote a novel but it was never published.”

“I just don’t have confidence in them. This comes less from personal experience than from being an activist in a feminist organisation that helps the victims of rape and sexual assault for several years. I can state for a fact that the majority of aggressors are men.”

She added: “If we are heterosexual we are encouraged to like men, but we should absolutely have the right not to like them. I realise this sounds like a violent sentiment, but I feel strongly we should be allowed to not love them as a whole and make exceptions for certain men.”

'We should have the right not to like men': the French writer at centre of literary storm

Tags: Backlash, Books, Hate, Men, Women In Charge



Men Always Make the Exact Same Comment to Me After Sex 


Dear How to Do It,

I’m a fiftysomething straight woman. Throughout my dating life, I’ve had men comment on the “tightness” of my vagina over and over. I know that women will tell men that they’re big or well-endowed as a compliment, but do men do the same with women? Tell them that the fit is tight or snug, even if it’s not? I’ve recently started seeing someone new, and he constantly remarks on my “tightness.” I can’t ask my girlfriends about this because who is going to say that they are loose? And what defines loose, anyway? And what defines tightness? When I first started having sex, it took several sessions before my boyfriend was able to achieve full entry. Sex has never been painful since then, and I’ve also given birth. My doctor has never noted anything out of the ordinary during routine exams. I do Kegels regularly if that makes a difference, and I’ve had various sizes of penises over the years that fit comfortably. I’ve only turned down one, and that one was way too big (he was OK with that). Obviously, it’s not something that one can brag about, but what do men mean when they say this? I guess it’s a compliment—but is it, really?


Men Always Make the Exact Same Comment to Me After Sex

Tags: Advice, Anatomy, Etiquette, Men, Mental Health, Nature, Relationships, Science, Self-esteem, Sex, Woman's Rights



Women tend to keep their distance from gay men described as sexually promiscuous, study finds 


New research suggests that sexual promiscuity negatively impacts social responses toward both gay and straight men. The study, published in the journal Psychology of Men & Masculinities, found that women are more likely to seek to avoid gay men described as promiscuous compared to gay men who are not described as promiscuous.

“Perceptions of masculinity, and stereotypes toward gay men, are multifaceted,” said study author Corey Cook, an assistant professor of psychology at Pacific Lutheran University.

In the study, 354 heterosexual undergraduate students were randomly assigned to report their social attitudes towards either gay men, straight men, gay men who are sexually promiscuous, straight men who are sexually promiscuous, gay men with very feminine qualities, straight men with very feminine qualities, gay men with very masculine qualities, or straight men with very masculine qualities.

To assess their attitudes, the participants were asked how strongly they agreed or disagreed with statements such as “I would like for a member of this group to work in the same place as I do” and “Members of this group are the kind of people that I tend to avoid.”


Tags: Environment, Gay, LGBTQ, Men, Preference, Relationships, Sex, Study



Girls Are Sharing Things Guys Think Are Cool That They Actually Hate, So Men, Take Note 


On Sunday, Reddit user u/baldski_is_jesus asked girls, "What is something many guys think is cool but is actually the opposite?" Here are the best responses:

(1. Breathing?)


Tags: Demands, Men, Nature, Relationships, Sex, Women In Charge



This is the ideal penis size to make women climax: survey 


Bigger is better — to a point.

NY Post

Tags: Anatomy, Men, Nature, Science, Sex, Statistics, Success, Women



With hair loss on the rise, Asia's men grapple with what it means to be bald 


Despite his father having an "m-shaped" hairline, Alex Han from northeast China never thought he'd experience hair loss in his 20s.

While studies have suggested almost all Caucasian men will eventually face some degree of male pattern baldness -- and around half can expect to lose their hair by middle age -- Asian men, and East Asians in particular, have historically experienced the lowest incidence of hair loss in the world.

A 2010 study from six Chinese cities found that fewer than 3% of men aged 18-29, and just over 13% of those in their 30s, experienced male pattern baldness. Earlier research from South Korea suggested that only 14.1% of the entire male population was affected, while Japanese men were found to develop male pattern baldness approximately a decade later than their European counterparts.

But as Han, now 34, later discovered, genetics isn't everything. Stress, poor diet, lack of sleep and smoking can all contribute to hair loss. And with lifestyles in China changing dramatically in recent decades, so too are the country's hairlines.


Tags: Bald, Beauty, Environment, Hair, Health, Men, Science, Surge, World



Masculinity Is Dead. Long Live Masculinity. 


The reality is that masculinity is changing. As it often has. Men have routinely adapted to the culture and times around them. American manhood has been idealized – or feared – in a variety of ways over the last half century. Here’s a short list:

The Organization Man of the 1950s, who followed the rules and helped build the grand structures we now know as corporations.

His children, the “delinquents,” the scourge of the 50s and early 60s. They chafed under his rules and were epitomized in West Side Story (especially the Jets) and the career of James Dean.

The Sensitive New Age Guy of the 1970s, who explored his feelings, his sexuality, and pretty much anything else he could think of.

The macho guys of the 1980s, epitomized by a new generation of action films starring guys named Schwarzenegger and Stallone. Reagan’s bluster and one-day wars also fit the bill.

The 1990s saw another set of rebels, this time via the Grunge movement. They certainly didn’t look clean and their drugs were a lot harder.

There’s no particular rhyme or reason as to why these particular images of masculinity made it to the top of the heap, nor is there any meaningful way to draw a straight evolutionary line through all of them. The Organization Man doesn’t logically precede or contribute to the macho guys, while the delinquents and the grunge-rs don’t seem terribly different from each other.

Good Men Project

Tags: Environment, Evolution, Men, Terraforming



Schools, Sex, and Masculinity 


Boys are watching a lot of pornography.

Consent is the bare minimum.

Boys must be empowered with the emotional strength it takes to endure being alone.

The narrative of the “good guy” can get in the way of moral growth.

Boys are growing into men they don’t want to be, and this unleashes untold harm in the world. Though it is often awkward and difficult to talk about sex with boys in school, having these conversations can help prevent a great deal of cruelty and unhappiness. We must create school cultures that allow us to have the types of conversations that will help usher in the type of future our boys need if they are going to grow into morally responsible men.

Good Men Project

Tags: Education, Environment, Etiquette, Men, Parental Burden, Psychology, Responsibility, Sex, Writing, Youth



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