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k.d. lang Says Coming Out Denied Her a Chance to Remain Mysterious
Singer k.d. lang stunned the world coming out to The Advocate in 1992. But she says now the experience ultimately proved ‘exhausting’ and stripped the singer of some public mystery.
“I grew up with the adage that there is a wealth of purpose in being mysterious,” lang said in a new interview with The Guardian. “And I feel like I haven’t had the chance to be mysterious. My sexuality, and everything, was so much out in the open, and has been for many years. I feel exhausted by being exposed.”
I Just Experienced a Sexual Horror Story. Will I Ever Bounce Back?
I recently went on a couple of dates with a guy I’ve had a crush on for a while. I was very much looking forward to jumping his bones. The dates went well, and we went back to his place, and ... I didn’t perform well. At all. He was really sweet about it, but I was mortified.
I’m pretty sure he’s open to seeing me again, because he seemed disappointed that I left so soon afterwards. (I was feeling terrible about it and just wanted to GTFO.) The problem is, I feel like I can’t go on another date with him until I prove that I’m actually good at sex! I usually get accolades from the people I’m with so this was a huge blow to my ego. I want to go out with him again but I feel like I won’t pay attention to anything until I get another chance at it. But even then I’m terrified that I’ll be too in my own head about it and it’ll happen again.
What should I do? Text him to see if he’s available for a quick hookup and get it out of the way? Go on another date with him and deal with the fact that we’ll both be thinking about how poorly last time went the whole time we’re sitting there? I like him a lot, and I don’t want to reduce him to this mountain I have to climb to prove my worth but .... yeah that’s kind of exactly how I feel. Help!
Bad Sex Haver
Spider-Man star Zach Barack says superhero movies are “inherently trans”
Zach Barack has a unique perspective on the superhero genre.
The 23-year-old actor plays Peter Parker’s high school friend in blockbuster sequel Spider-Man: Far From Home, making him the first openly trans person to star in a Marvel movie, alongside Tyler Luke Cunningham as a featured extra.
Speaking to Variety at the Los Angeles premiere of the new Spider-Man movie, Zach opened up about how “meaningful” the role is for him, and argued that there’s something “very inherently trans” about superhero movies.
“I’m not by any means an expert on comics, but I read them growing up, you know, and they were important,” he said.
“And there’s something very inherently trans about those stories, especially ones where identity and hidden identity is part of them.
From ‘sex means penetration’ to ‘all effeminate guys are bottoms,’ these are the most common myths about gay sex between men
Let's talk about gay sex — because even in 2019, misconceptions are seemingly inescapable.
Maybe that's because sex between men (or women, for that matter) is still all but absent from mainstream media. In fact, the Elton John biopic "Rocketman," released in May, is reportedly the first big-budget studio film with a sex scene between two men.
Or maybe it's because gay sex that does leach into popular media tends to misrepresent typical sexual encounters — often to an embarrassing extent. For example, most gay men would not describe quick, spur-of-the-moment tent sex, as featured in the 2005 film "Brokeback Mountain," as typical.
I’m Gay. So Why Don’t I Belong to ‘Gay Culture?’
I'm a gay transgender man, though I tend to keep the "transgender" part under wraps most of the time. I also live in a fairly small and conservative town. This makes talking about my childhood awkward unless I just say "my parents grew up in the city so we didn't really do a lot of outdoorsy stuff.” It's true without being too detailed, so that response is usually enough to get some pressure off me.
Anyway, I don't really have much interest in certain things considered part of "gay culture.” I watch Drag Race and follow some past contestants on social media. I feel a certain glee when characters in fiction I already like turn out to be LGBTQ. And while I'm not too familiar with the history of the Pride movement, I would love to learn more about it.
But that's about the extent of it. I simply cannot even pretend I like Katy Perry or Will & Grace. I've tried watching Sex and the City only to wonder if I'm supposed to like any of the characters. I'm basically someone who's been described as "Judas Priest gay.” Is there something I'm missing that's supposed to help me enjoy these things? Does this sound like a matter of preferring documentaries over other genres? Or is this just not as uncommon as I probably think?
Out of the “Fruit” Loop
Does Federal Law Protect LGBTQ People? This Poll Reveals A Serious Misconception
According to a new survey, almost half of all Americans wrongly believe that federal law protects LGBTQ people from discrimination. In a Reuters/Ipsos poll released Tuesday, 45% of respondents incorrectly claimed that federal anti-discrimination protections apply to LGBTQ Americans, when in fact, no such protections exist due to longstanding opposition from conservatives.
“When you talk to people across the country, regardless of where they stand on LGBTQ equality, so many don’t know that in 30 states LGBTQ people are still at are risk of being fired solely because of their gender identity or sexual orientation,” Charlotte Clymer, the Human Rights Campaign's press secretary for rapid response, told Reuters. “These things are flying under the radar for most Americans.”
BEING GAY IS LINKED TO THESE BIOLOGICAL MECHANISMS, SCIENTISTS SAY
Years and Years star Dino Fetscher on the “vital importance” of LGBTQ representation
This Dad Gave Out Hundreds of Hugs at the Pittsburgh Pride Parade, and the Photos Are So Emotional
Africa is doing better on LGBTQ rights than you think
Christian hate-preachers plan anti-LGBTI conference during Orlando Pride
Gay bar accused of racism after banning rap music
A Chicago gay bar is being accused of racism after banning rap music.
Progress Bar in Boystown sent an email to DJs about the new change.
‘We are changing up our format,’ the email reportedly read.
‘Our goal is to promote a positive, happy, energetic, upbeat and most importantly… a FUN vibe. Think DJ Am for 2019 – a super open format POP/DANCE focused atmosphere. We have implemented a NO RAP rule effective immediately.
‘This is not a suggestion!! If you play RAP you will not be asked back.
Gay Star News
Men and Abortion
Emboldened by the placement of two Conservative justices on the Supreme Court, state legislatures have begun racing to become the test case for overturning the landmark Roe v. Wade case. Alabama has passed perhaps the most extreme of these laws, effectively banning all abortions without exception. Georgia’s law appears to cover miscarriages as well as abortions. Quite a few other states have passed or are working on legislation that appear to be on-their-face violations of the Roe v. Wade decision.
I’ve noticed that, on my social media stream, so many men are as silent as they were during the peak of #MeToo. It’s understandable that men would want to step aside and let women do most of the talking, and we should. However, we shouldn’t be completely silent.
So what should we say?
The Good Men Project
Recent abortion bans will impact poor people and people of color most
Why So Many Women Choose Abortion Over Adoption
Gay comedian thinks there’s a difference between being gay and being homosexual
The comedian and actor faced criticisms of internalised homophobia.
The French comedian and actor Pierre Palmade, who identifies as gay, has attracted criticism after saying that he believes there is a difference between people who are gay and people who are homosexual.
Appearing on the French talk show On N’est Pas Couché, he explained how gay men are more outward in their mannerisms, while homosexuals are essentially ‘straight-acting’ men.
“This is my little theory. There are gays and homosexuals, it’s two different groups,” he explained.
“Gays are those who eat gay, who laugh gay, who live gay, who talk gay, who make gay movies. Homosexuals are gay but they don’t wear it on their sleeves, you can’t tell when they talk, you can’t tell when they live, you only find out when they go to bed.”
Porn deemed a public health crisis by Arizona politicians
Some legislators gave pornography a new title: public health crisis.
The Arizona State Senate voted Monday to declare pornography a public health crisis, but beyond stating such on their resolution, no further action is set to be taken.
The bill states that "pornography perpetuates a sexually toxic environment that damages all areas of our society," proceeding to list that "potential detrimental effects on pornography users include toxic sexual behaviors, emotional, mental and medical illnesses and difficulty forming or maintaining intimate relationships."
More Than 300 Catholic Clergy in New Jersey Have Been Accused of Sex Abuse, Report Says
Delaware man accused of raping woman after posing as ride-share driver, police say
Man filmed himself sexually assaulting 16-year-old several times, plotted to kill girl
What I Learned About Loving My Body as a Gay Man
Everyone has a story about their body. Some of us want to look great for the beach, to feel powerful and sexy when we’re in bed with someone, or to move easily without pain or discomfort.
My body’s story has everything to do with being gay.
As a kid, I was always sick and had more allergies than you could count. I had allergies to foods, dust, pollens, and fragrances. I reacted in many ways, from a skin rash to hives, earaches that were beyond painful, diarrhea, flu-like symptoms, and days spent sick in bed. To make matters worse, I was diagnosed as ADHD. Imagine pairing an allergic reaction and ADHD together! Suffice to say I never felt like I had much control over my body as a child.
Being sick a lot made me aware of how my body responded to food and foods that did not agree with me. Perhaps because of my mother’s intervention and being so reactive to food as a child, I never got fat. I was always skinny. When you’re sick all the time it’s difficult to gain weight.
The Good Men Project
'What happens when I'm no longer desirable?' How fear of ageing took over my 20s
Have you ever felt lonely whilst being in a romantic relationship?
Slate: I Made Gaybros for Gays Into Guy Stuff. But as We Grew, I Learned That “Stuff” Could Include More Than I Imagined.
You’ve probably heard of the idea of a queer “scene,” perhaps most often from people who don’t care for it. But what, exactly, is this scene? Who’s a part of it? Who isn’t? Who decides? Is there more than one? What happens when a scene evolves—or when it doesn’t? These are the questions we’ve gathered a group of writers to consider for an Outward special issue on “The Scene” in LGBTQ life today. You can read all of the stories in the issue here, and you can listen to a full episode of the Outward podcast covering more of the queer scene by subscribing on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you get your audio.
At the age of 21, I deleted every show tune off my iPod Video and disciplined my wavy hair into an almost-military buzzcut. Now, I decided, I was really into trucks and hockey. Previously a too-fastidious Alex, I made people call me Al. I turned my nose up at pop culture, fashion, or anything associated with the gay scene—or at least what I perceived the gay scene to be. At the time, I undertook this overhaul because that stuff, with all its flash and pretense, had come to annoy me; in today’s slang, I would have called it all incredibly “basic.” So I left that basic shit behind and went on with my life as a newly non-basic, overtly masculine gay man.
Catholic Mom Terrified that Leggings Are Corrupting Her Sons
Leggings are like a giant sock that extend up your thigh, enveloping your butt in a soft, warm embrace. They are also, as concerned Catholic mother Maryann White recently wrote in the University of Notre Dame student paper, the Observer, a devious invention by the fashion industry that “has caused women to voluntarily expose their nether regions.”
White, a mother of four sons, is struggling to teach her sons that “women are someone’s daughters and sisters” (yikes) and leggings are apparently adding to her struggle.
In “The Legging Problem,” she wrote:
I was ashamed for the young women at Mass. I thought of all the other men around and behind us who couldn’t help but see their behinds. My sons know better than to ogle a woman’s body — certainly when I’m around (and hopefully, also when I’m not). They didn’t stare, and they didn’t comment afterwards. But you couldn’t help but see those blackly naked rear ends. I didn’t want to see them — but they were unavoidable. How much more difficult for young guys to ignore them.
West Virginia accuses Catholic diocese and former bishops of sex abuse cover-up in unusual consumer protection lawsuit
West Virginia Attorney General Patrick Morrisey sued the Catholic diocese of Wheeling-Charleston and its former bishop Michael J. Bransfield on Tuesday, charging that they “knowingly employed pedophiles and failed to conduct adequate background checks” for people working in Catholic schools and camps, a news release from Morrisey’s office says.
The lawsuit, the latest dramatic civil action against the American church in the past year, alleges violations of the state’s consumer protection laws. It accuses the diocese of advertising safe environments for children while at the same time, the complaint says, choosing “to cover up and conceal arguably criminal behavior of child sexual abuse.”