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My Boyfriend’s Obsession With His Straight “Friend” Is Out of Control 

 

Dear How to Do It,

My boyfriend of just under a year, “Tom” is pansexual, which has never been a problem (I’m a straight woman, FYI). However, the night we met he told me that he had recently hooked up with a straight male friend, “Brandon,” and then been rejected, and this situation in particular is an issue. It is obvious that Tom has a huge crush on Brandon. Tom has said on a few occasions that he was ready to come out to his religious parents for Brandon and was hoping to be his boyfriend, but Brandon told him that the sex was a one-time thing and asked him not to tell anyone (a request which he obviously did not honor). Instead of backing off, Tom will text Brandon to join our group at any outing unless I expressly ask him not to by saying that I would like tonight to be just us, or that our friends have invited only us out. When Tom does invite Brandon places, Brandon often does not respond or responds hours later vaguely. Once, Tom said that he wanted to use my phone to call Brandon because he thought he’d actually get him to pick up by using a number not his own that Brandon didn’t recognize. If we pass a bar that Brandon is known to frequent regularly, Tom likes to stop in to see if he’s there, and will want to hang out if Brandon is there. He also repeatedly violates Brandon’s request to keep their hook up under wraps. He’s told many people, not just me. The one time he did get Brandon to hang out, Tom pissed me off by staying out hours after he told me he was coming back, letting his phone die so that I couldn’t reach him, and then waking me up at 3:30 in the morning to let him in because he didn’t have his keys. He’s also lately been floating the idea of Brandon joining us in a threesome, because I have expressed interest in us finding a male partner for one and wants me to spend one on one time with Brandon as a start to getting him home with us. At this point, I think I’m about ready to throw in the towel and let Tom chase this man and implode their friendship unencumbered by a relationship with me. What do you think?

—Brandon Blues

My Boyfriend’s Obsession With His Straight “Friend” Is Out of Control

Tags: Advice, Cheating, Gay, LGBTQ, Mental Health, Perception, Relationships, Sex

Permalink

14-Sep-2020


Call Me By Your Name director defends casting straight actors and shying away from full frontal male nudity

 

The idea that a marginalised minority should be given the opportunity to portray themselves on the big screen was dismissed by Guadagnino in a new interview with The Independent.

“I read too much Freud to be taking seriously these kind of critics, meaning that I honestly don’t believe I have the right to decide whether an actor is straight or not,” he said.

“Who am I to know what somebody is thinking of himself or herself within themselves? Yes, Armie is a straight man with a wife and children and the same can be said of Timothée. But do I ask them to swear on their sexuality, on their identities, on their desires, before I cast them? I don’t!”

Call Me By Your Name director defends casting straight actors and shying away from full frontal male nudity

Tags: Actor, Employment, Entertainment, Experience, Film, LGBTQ, Opinion, Perception, Representation, Talent

Permalink

12-Sep-2020


On Political Correctness and Clear Thinking / Stephen Fry / COMEDY / Rubin Report 

 

Stephen Fry

Tags: Celebrity, Interview, Opinion, Perception, Psychology, Representation, Society, Video, World

Permalink

30-Jul-2020


There’s a Divide in Even the Closest Interracial Friendships Including ours. 

 

It was one of those perfect California nights, not too cold or too hot. Ann’s backyard was strung with lights and punctuated with the cheerful buzz of conversation as people milled around with glasses of rosé in hand. She had offered up her patio as the venue for a friend’s birthday party. And—even better—Aminatou happened to be in town. She was in Los Angeles for a work trip and had been looking forward to attending the backyard soiree because she knew and liked the birthday girl and many of the other guests.

When she showed up, the party was already in full swing. Aminatou found that the snacks were delicious and the mood lovely. But what should have been a fun night celebrating and catching up with friends turned sour when Aminatou noticed that she was the only Black person milling around Ann’s back patio.

The Cut

I Broke Up with My Best Friend Because We Couldn’t Agree on Black Lives Matter

South Asian anti-black racism: 'We don't marry black people'

Romance scam: US woman freed after year as hostage in Nigeria

Alaska Airlines flight makes an emergency landing in Seattle after passenger threatens to 'kill everybody on this plane unless you accept Jesus was a black man'

Chance The Rapper Backs Kanye West Over Joe Biden And Twitter Users Aren’t Happy

After Ford employees demanded the company stop making police vehicles, the CEO clapped back with logic, common sense

Jewish groups call out TV host Nick Cannon for defending Louis Farrakhan and spreading anti-Semitic conspiracies

Nick Cannon Dropped by ViacomCBS After Making Anti-Semitic Comments

Tags: $, Auto, Backlash, Books, Business, Cancellation, Celebrity, Choices, Crime, Cultural, Demands, Differences, Employment, Environment, Etiquette, Fraud, Kidnap, LGBTQ, Marriage, Men In Charge, Music, Perception, Politics, Punishment, Racial Tension, Racism, Rejection, Relationships, Respect, Robbery, Romance, Scam, Termination, Threat, Trans, Travel, Video, Violence, Vulnerable, Woman's Rights, World

Permalink

15-Jul-2020


Amid the Black Lives Matter Movement, Hollywood Examines Its Own History of Racism 

 

AnyAny kid who grows up on Disney knows about Splash Mountain. Along with the Matterhorn and its aptly named corollary Space Mountain, the ride is a necessary stop on any self-respecting thrill-seeker’s visit to Disneyland, with the long lines to prove it. But Splash Mountain is more than a watery tourist trap. It’s also one of the last, oddly decontextualized scrap of a legacy that Disney otherwise wholly disowns.

Defenders of outdated works tend to respond with some version of the slippery slope argument: Even if everything is racist, you can’t expunge everything from the historical record. Without perspective or consistency, specific flashpoints do seem arbitrary: “I don’t think I’ve heard anyone coming for The Jazz Singer,” observes Alfred Martin, an assistant professor of communications studies at the University of Iowa, referring to the 1927 film starring Al Jolson as a Jewish entertainer who performs in blackface. “What precisely is it that we’re coming for?”

The timing of certain reckonings is also questionable. “30 Rock was being produced in the 2000s, and at the time presumably everybody thought it was fine. Why are we feigning concern about it right now?” Martin asks. “Since 1939, Black folks were saying that Gone With the Wind was a harmful depiction of Black folks, and nobody wanted to listen to us. All of a sudden, in 2020, when this movie is almost 100 years old, now you want to pretend like it’s a problem? That’s partly what some of the anger is around.”

The Ringer

Tags: Art, Art Deletion, Education, Entertainment, Environment, History, Hollywood, Instructional, Interference, Parental Crime, Perception, Politics, Protest, Psychology

Permalink

10-Jul-2020


JoJo Siwa responded to and dismissed accusations of blackface in one of her music videos 

 

JoJo Siwa is the latest YouTuber to face allegations of racism after some followers said a young actor in her latest music video, for her song "Nonstop," was performing in blackface.

The video, which is set in a circus, features dancers dressed up as all sorts of animals. One of the dancers, a young white girl, is seen in close-up early in the video with brown makeup and what appear to be monkey ears. The comments on the video have been disabled.

Insider

Former Mayor Resigns After Comparing BLM Protesters to Monkeys in FB Post

Bernie Ecclestone says ‘in many cases black people are more racist than white people’

TikTok Pride event shut down in minutes after homophobes and racists target LGBT+ creators with hate

Tags: Alleged, Backlash, Celebrity, Confusion, Employment, Leaders, LGBTQ, Music, Opinion, Perception, Politics, Pride Killer, Racial Tension, Racism, Resignation, Social Media, Sports, Video, World, Youth

Permalink

26-Jun-2020


A very important investigation into whether Zac Efron is actually "living" in Byron Bay. 

 

Rumours have been swirling this week the Hollywood actor, 32, has been riding out the coronavirus pandemic in the coastal town.

There have been several reported 'sightings' of Efron around Byron Bay, but so far there has been no... proof.

Efron was last spotted by paparazzi in Los Angeles on January 25, and in February he was in California to film The Great Global Cleanup for Discovery Channel, but his location since then is unknown.

Mama Mia

Tags: Be Well, Celebrity, Investigation, Perception, Privacy, Travel, World

Permalink

24-Jun-2020


The ‘anti-racist’ drive to turn schools into woke propaganda mills 

 

School will be a very different place next academic year. Classes will be less full; desks, rigorously sterilized. And if the education establishment has its way, teachers will be aggressively woke.

Education Week’s “Classroom Q&A” blog tells teachers: “As Dr. Ibram X. Kendi would say, there is no ‘not racist.’ There is only racist and anti-racist. Your silence favors the status quo and the violently oppressive harm it does to black and brown folk everywhere.”

Anti-racism, in this worldview, doesn’t mean equal treatment of others; it is an all-encompassing ideology that demands constant questioning of one’s own actions and motives and those of others.

For its part, the National Committee on Social Studies’ Early Childhood/Elementary Community has promised to overhaul content, explaining that “to stop the .?.?. systemic pattern of dehumanization . . . we need to start early. WE, as educators, and family members, need to flood our children with counter messages. . . . Messages that show #BlackLivesMatter. .?.?. It is essential to elevate that message until there is no racial inequality in economic opportunity, no racial inequality in education, no racial inequality in incarceration rates and no brutality from police and others.”

NY Post

Tags: Activism, Concern, Environment, Future, Hypocrisy, Perception, Politics, Racial Tension, Racism

Permalink

23-Jun-2020


‘Everybody’s Life Matters’: Muhammad Ali Jr. Emerges From the Sunken Place to Say His Father Wouldn’t Have Supported Black Lives Matter 

 

47-year-old Muhammad Ali Jr. must have been too busy attending house negro support groups to read up on what his father stood for regarding the mattering of Black lives, because he’s out here telling the media that the Black Lives Matter movement is “racist” and that his father was more of an “All Lives Matter” type of guy and wouldn’t have supported it.

In a recent interview, Ali Jr. told the New York Post that his father “would have said, ‘They ain’t nothing but devils.’ My father said, ‘All lives matter.’ I don’t think he’d agree.”

“It’s not just black lives matter, white lives matter, Chinese lives matter, all lives matter, everybody’s life matters,” he continued. “God loves everyone. He never singled anyone out. Killing is wrong no matter who it is.”

The Root

Tags: Celebrity, Challenge, Cultural, Parental Burden, Perception, Persecution, Politics, Privacy

Permalink

22-Jun-2020


Why China’s hip-hop stars are staying silent on Black Lives Matter 

 

After a 2017 rap show got a generation of China’s youth hooked on hip hop, the musical genre has created dozens of Chinese stars and, along with them, billions of streaming views.

But despite their enthusiasm for a culture that originated in the African-American community, Chinese hip-hop stars and their legions of fans have largely stayed silent on the Black Lives Matter movement, which has swept across the world after the police killing of George Floyd, an unarmed black man, in Minneapolis.

Sun Bayi, a Beijing-based rapper, said he was not in a position to comment on the Black Lives Matter movement.

“I know racism in theory, but it’s hard to empathise with it,” said the rapper, whose favourite artists are Eminem and the Notorious B.I.G. “I’m not black. I have never lived in America. What can I say about it?”

SCMP

Tags: $, Celebrity, Cultural, Entertainment, Hip Hop, Irony, Lifestyle, Misrepresentation, Music, Perception, Politics, Relationships, World, Youth

Permalink

20-Jun-2020


Hulu’s Love, Victor is caught up in the mythology of white gayness 

 

In spite of the varied histories of the irreparable contributions of Black people, Indigenous people, and people of color to queer liberation and artistic production, whiteness continues to be the implied standard for LGBTQ people in film and media. Such a bar begins to coalesce into a potentially poisonous political project of homonormativity, an ideal of queerness that still subscribes to systems and institutions that privilege white, cisgender, middle class, heterosexual presenting queer people at the expense of queer and trans people who are not afforded the same liberties due to institutional and systemic injustices (coined by scholar Lisa Duggan). White gays, whatever their occasional usefulness, have long been inclined to throw others under the bus.

Polygon

Tags: All Rights, Awareness, Exclusivity, Gay, Hypocrisy, Misrepresentation, Perception, Race, Stereotype, TV Gay Swatch, Youth

Permalink

19-Jun-2020


George Floyd riots damage just civil rights cause 

 

When it comes to race relations, anyone who thinks rioting is the answer doesn’t grasp the question. Burning, looting and committing mayhem doesn’t bend the moral arc of the universe; it breaks it.

Peaceful protests over George Floyd’s killing have been overshadowed by images of rage-fueled violence and destruction. Resorting to rioting is strange because there is little disagreement that Floyd’s death in custody was senseless and criminal. Few defend the police who were responsible; they were quickly fired, one has been charged with murder, and the Justice Department has opened an investigation into the tragedy. Everyone is on the same side of this issue.

Yet rioting sparked and spread. There is no rational purpose behind people burning buildings, torching cars, breaking windows, spray-painting obscenities and the other actions that have left city blocks looking like war zones. Some say these are expressions of anger and frustration, and maybe so, but they are also unjustified, foolish and counterproductive. While peaceful protesters are trying to create sympathy and build understanding, the rioters have undone that effort with flying bricks and flaming city blocks.

USA Today

Tags: Americans, Civil War, Community, Perception, Politics, Protest, Psychology, Racial Tension, Racism, Rampage, Theft, Threat, Thug, Waste

Permalink

01-Jun-2020


Stephen Fry praises ancient Greek mythology for portraying same-sex love as being ‘just part of the joy of life’ 

 

Stephen Fry has praised ancient Greek culture for portraying same-sex love as being “just part of the joy of life”.

The actor and writer made the comments during a live broadcast as part of the digital Hay Festival and said Greek myth presented same-sex love as nothing special.

“We are aware that Hollywood is unlikely to spend too much time over that nature of things, and yes that is a pity, but on the other hand, the beauty of Greek culture is that it didn’t make anything particularly special about LGBT+ relationships,” Fry said during his digital appearance at the festival.

Pink News

Homosexuality in Ancient Greece - One Big Lie?

Recognition Of Same Sex Unions

Tags: Celebrity, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Environment, Gay, History, Interview, LGBTQ, Perception, Study

Permalink

25-May-2020


Truth hurts! People reveal what they REALLY think about their partner's looks in shockingly honest confessions - from a girlfriend who's 'getting fat' to a boyfriend who resembles a corgi 

 

Lovers from across the globe have confessed how they feel about partner's looks

People wrote anonymously on the secrets sharing site Whisper to reveal feelings

One confessed how their girlfriend 'looks like she has gained like 35lbs in a year'

Daily Mail

Tags: Beauty, Perception, Relationships, Truth

Permalink

25-May-2020


My Son Told Friends He’s Gay. He Tells Me He Was Joking. 

 

Dear Care and Feeding,

My 11-year-old son has been spending a lot of time playing Minecraft with online friends. They talk (I can hear everything they say, mostly silly preteen jokes) and text, and I looked at his chat screen. I read, “Please don’t say anything out loud. My mom doesn’t know I’m gay.”

I asked my kid why he wrote that. He said it was a joke. Then he said his account was hacked. Then he said his best friend is gay. I’m shocked. His dad and I have no problem if he’s gay, and he knows it. Do I give him space? I don’t want to out him (if that’s what’s up), but I hate that he can’t talk to me. My love and feelings for him are not affected at all by whether he’s gay, and I want to respect his privacy. Still, I’m hurt.

—Prying Mom

Slate

Tags: Advice, Children, Coronavirus, Family, Gay, LGBTQ, Parenting, Perception, Relationships, Safety

Permalink

19-May-2020




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