Movies Posts Tagged as 'Music Murders'
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Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Reminders from the past were a return to better things. They had a good amount of gas and revved up nicely. The Mach 2 opener was a tightly wrapped exercise that was crushed by the weight of the music. Music was programmed to force us to feel. I am not a fan. I would have cut the music, kept the sound effects and never pan away from Daddy Kickass' face. Jennifer Connolly seemed refreshed and in a good place. Reunions were sweet and respectful. Hamm needed to add a bit of anaconda to his Admiral's swag. Every time he squeaked an order, I laughed. His facial shots were mostly eyeroll, eyeroll bitch and eyeroll exasperation. The younglings were not interesting or fleshed out. Their purpose was to function for the machine. The beginning was full of close-ups of actors conveying to someone who might not be there. Boy, was I sorry I noticed that. Full frames and blurs were what my eyes kept being subjected to. Are they or aren't they? Let's count. Fuck! When it expanded at the end, I felt relief but the music swelled and the rah rah began and I became sad that men have to congratulate themselves. 20-Jan-2023
Matilda: The Musical (2022) 

It's even worst with headphones. Who can fall asleep with all that racket? 30-Dec-2022
As soon as the music tried recalibrating my ears, I booked. 29-Dec-2022
Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)

It begins with family authenticity, struggling to keep current and afloat. Super reality sets in and the tingles begin. Oh no! It's going to be bonkers. The cast resolves it. I wasn't sure if the husband was Jackie Chan. I spent a lot of the time being jealous of how young he looked. It was driving me crazy. He can't be, right? When he utilized the master's moves, I thought, that's definitely Jackie Chan. It's a tribute to him and Michelle Yeoh as action heroes but why does he look so fucking young? Terrific surgery perhaps? Ke Huy Quan is as adorable now as he was as a kid in a Spielberg classic. The man was precise. To Lady Yeoh, we gently bow. Stephanie Hsu had fun being all iterations of evil because we had fun too. Jamie Lee Curtis was gnarly. James Hong added his queerisms. The film threw as many cliches as it did new ideas. A win win for art. A film that wipes its imperfections with glorious shots of legends reacting to wonder and giving us soul. 27-Nov-2022
Encanto (2021)

Abuelita sacrifices her husband to magic and gets a brand new house. The house is alive with sorcery, the family is gifted with trickery and the town thrives on bountiful happiness. Men are useless and goofy. Women are Amazonian of the nosey kind. They only get into trouble when they walk into it. The voice cast is dreamy but Lin-Manuel Miranda's music is back to infect my ears with disjointed melodies. I couldn't hang on to any musical notes because more confusing ones replaced them. He's taking our ears back to when we were babies adopting to hearing. Goo goo ga ga sounded like a song but it wasn't. The film was culturally unidentifiable as the latinos were nondescript living in fairy tale land with one family under God, controlling the whole town like the mafia. TG climate change arrives to kill their magic. Kudos to the voice actors and the artists. 30-Dec-2021
tick, tick...BOOM! (2001)

Spider-man split open his asshole and we tasted it. The flavors were acidic and international. Like a caesar salad. Miranda covers an artist that succeeded without musicality because he's an artist that also succeeds without it. When did Spider-Man become Doc from "Back To The Future?" Andrew is its good thing, Robin de Jesus is a missed opportunity and Judith Light was too jewish. Vanessa Hudgens was the only artist that understood the piece of crap she was in and relaxed to our enjoyment. Bad music and immature storytelling equal forgotten art. 24-Dec-2021
Fullmetal Alchemist (2018)

A boy and his brother surrender parts of themselves while trying to resurrect their mother through alchemy. A journey ensues to find a philosopher's stone that will return their bodies and relax their souls. The animated series was a dark tragedy with kiddie undertones, celebrating science and magic shows, stupendous mutants with biblical powers, military strategies and coos, cliffhangers and curves while pulling the heartstrings. The introduction is action best, the characters and the costumes click the memory banks but its empathy blubber is unforgivable. 26-Aug-2020
Wicker Man, The (1973)

Christian copper investigates missing child on pagan island. Edward Woodward keeps it desperate and unleashing, the atmosphere is lawless and unethical and the music lilts as well as unsettle. The horror isn't physically evident but mentally, it sticks like gum to a shoe. 19-May-2020
Cats (2019) 

Of course, I was going to hate it. Wrecked performances, grave CGI, clipped penises and roach choreography. I couldn't finish it. 09-May-2020
Frozen II (2019)

Its beauty is deceptive.
There is no thought or flourish to the story and no realism to the dialogue. Children have deeper conversations than this.
They are constantly bombarded by magical things, yet still wonder at the next.
The songs are its enemy. The songwriters write songs for talkers not classically trained singers. The musical artists could not wrap their talent around them. The words weren't tonal or melodious. (A thesaurus might have helped.) Each song was a giant whoopee cushion to the ear.
I wished the snowman had melted. (I'm sorry, I've spent too much time with Gervais.)
The presentation is built to make a grown man cringe.
If it weren't so gorgeous, I'd stop fucking it.
Bring on number 3. (Sigh) 02-May-2020
Venus In Furs (1969)

Hot stuff (James Darrin) obsesses over dead girl. Like the drugged out haze it was written and directed in, the film lingers on aspects that make it boring. It was bold to include an interracial couple and lesbians romping freely but the sex scenes consisted of a man's back against a woman's catlike nails on repetition. Giving Barbara McNair the insufferable title song hurt her vocal chords and our ears. By the end, you'll feel as misplaced as James Darrin. 20-Dec-2019
Mary Poppins Returns (2018) 

I had to quit. Just when I was getting accustomed to the hyper tension, they sang. 25-Sep-2019
A Star Is Born (2018)

Unkempt and unglam remake that barely absorbs its time to set it apart. The music doesn't fulfill a star's talent, the gays are accessorized, and though there is regard between the leads, there is no heat. Cooper steals Kristofferson's voice but incorporates no swag; Gaga is just practicing. It's a cold and reductive remake. 03-Sep-2019
Grinch, The (2018) 

The cuteness is impossible, the voices don't fit and I couldn't make it pass the first song. 07-Jun-2019
Exposure (2018)

I came close to forgiving the mounting horror cliches because the aspect of a troubled marriage being revived by isolation is worth exploration. Everything pertaining to the forest degrades it. 02-Mar-2019
Halloween (2018)

Devoid of purpose, study and reverence. The psychology of Laurie Strode was as an empowered victim that elicited strength from catastrophic violence. She's not Sarah Connor and she wouldn't burden a child with her horrid mythology. The holiday wasn't nostalgic and the nods to Hitchcock (who's that?) were extinct. Hallmark movies concoct bigger frights. 08-Feb-2019