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Bachelor In Paradise (2014 - ) Arf

What have I done? The producers made daddy Palmer look like one of the weird kids from The Polar Express. His eyes didn't move, they dialed down the light, the sparkle and he started looking through people, not at them. My apologies, sir. 12-Nov-2023
Oh no! I think the show is on realtime. The new girl said Brayden looked like Johnny Depp, nobody threw anything in the ocean and worst of all, they restricted daddy Palmer's cornea movements! No more eye fucking. They cut away just as soon as tears started to stream down his face. 04-Nov-2023
Mr. Palmer is a faithful husband. He only eyefucks men. It was fun to see Wells eat his burrito, though. Somebody looked like they were going to join a supremacist group after getting dumped. Brayden is a pirate that has all the women aflutter. Can all the girls fuck him and dump him so I can stop obsessing about him? Were asses covered up because they pooped themselves or because we might get excited? Yo, you can't be the fairer sex if you believe everything a man says. Kat's birthday cake looked nasty. Why are these people allowed to throw anything into the ocean? Doesn't she know that Flipper can get diabetes? 28-Oct-2023
Woohoo! The Palmer eye-fucked the newbie in an episode where not much happened. If you're demanding honesty from a man, don't do it like Kat. She hates the truth. 23-Oct-2023
Brayden's beauty suffers intense consequences because he can't deliver. Sean looks like a dream prince that Dreamworks dreamed up. There is no rational reason why Will should act sensitive when being dumped. Aaron needs to butt fuck his girl so she can stay regular and alive. She is a walking testament of why travel sucks. Wells is a cute package that the contestants keep unwrapping. He was icked by the baby incident and masterclassed he wasn't. He gleamed for Dreamworks but was bored with pretty head yet bounced back for latino flair. The theme is past promises made to people they weren't attracted to and the people who can't accept it. Jesse Palmer hasn't eye-fucked anyone and that's worrisome. They're so good. Men only! The thighs are wide, the legs are nice, the men have bite, are succulent and falling apart for trying to make someone else happy. Is this how toxic masculinity is created? 18-Oct-2023

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Chemistry, Choices, Cliche, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Emasculating, Fantasy, Fun Acting, Gay, Good Acting, Grating, Hot Swatch, Hyper, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Maddening, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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12-Nov-2023


Muted (2023-) WhimperEarly Exit

As soon as I confused the boyfriend with the main character, I booked. Dude, I thought his marks were fake. Wow, he looked better in the past. Boo, I just insulted a person. They were both lovelies. I was watching on a different wavelength. I didn't want to have to rethink my imaginary flashbacks. The lady in charge of investigation hinted that it was schlock anyway. 31-May-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Cliche, Crime Drama, Drama, Early Exit, Gay, LGBTQ, Mystery, Pretty, Sexy, Star Watt, Tedium, Timid, Trashy, Warbly, Weird

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31-May-2023


Law Of The Jungle, The (2023) Woof

There's a tattoo daddy whose tattoos were written with lousy penmanship. There's a perfect Jesus. All Muscle Beauty and No Brawn is a cuddle bunny. My favorite was the gay guy who reminded me of Styles from Teen Wolf. What a good boy he was. 20-Mar-2023
The challenges were poor and juvenile. The team members were melodramatic and aggressively weak. There is a large pot of money to compete for but the show sabotages it by allowing certain teammates to steal from it. The competitors play to whatever devil grants them some money. They have hard luck stories to back up why they might play only for themselves. It's rough out there for a cowboy and his horse. It's a tacky version of Outlast with sexy guys and heart. 20-Mar-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Camp, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Entertainment, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, LGBTQ, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Revenge, Sentimental, Sexy, Showy, Shrill Act, Spanish, Sports, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Words Spoke

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20-Mar-2023


Love Trip: Paris (2023-) Whimper

Wherein privileged American ladies travel abroad and are shocked that their toxic love speaks other languages. Mirko's storyline profiled him as a panty shredder. That was such a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles rip. 02-Mar-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comfort Food, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Funny, Gay Swatch, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Overcooked, Questionable, Relationships, Scary, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny

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02-Mar-2023


Love Never Lies (2021-) WoofDowngrade

MENTIRA! 12-Dec-2022
S2E5. Pretty Jesus was punished for finding a tighter pussy than his partner. Partner was blindsided with pretty short dick distractions. Backsies. Guess who has to give up what? Bitch! That is a twice in a ifetime, unless you're a pervert, but still. 10-Dec-2022
S2E4. The producers segregated the relationships from their would be or were one night stands. The other half got a preview of Casa de Fuck through a taste test. A blindfolded gay was relieved to feel a man instead of a boy. He only tastes like a boy, we think he's a girl. Poor thing. They found a chick that would allow pretty Jesus to come instantaneously inside of. A lesbian had to watch as her man hating partner was fooled into admitting to a football team of straight fucks. They set up the short guy with a woman willing to trade size for half a crucifixion. The bizarro stud with the Clark Kent glasses is getting turned on by his wife's infidelities. 09-Dec-2022
S2E3. The hostess with the mostest is still most. The new climate soars like desperation for attention and a warning that fairy tale relationships are doomed. A gay partner appeared to pretend that he didn't know that gays "prioritize" cheating in their relationships. He was just mad because they brought him a girly boy but his lover, a man. A breath taker with astounding legs is trying to turn a lesbian into an everything bagel. A couple is hooking up with another couple's partner. Double the doom. A cheated upon wailed like an animal. I've never heard that sound before. Pretty Jesus is consistently crucified by the women in his life. His wife had choices and his one night stand couldn't stand him. Short cis men are the most insecure because giants are on every woman's shopping list. The only thing stopping a partner from cheating is a lack of mutual sexual attraction and nothing more. 07-Dec-2022

Tags: Daddy Squish, Foreign, Fun, Funny, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Lesbian, LGBTQ, Over the Top, Relationships, Sex, Spanish, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ Funny

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12-Dec-2022


AHS: NYC (2022) Woof

It stayed true to tradition and didn't end with a bang because they yucked it up with mumbo jumbo. Ryan and Co. are gone, lets' show them what we can do. Everything except reigning it in. Add a little magic over here, irony over there and a preach or two around the corner. Charlie Carver's observations as a writer allowed him to present real gay dilemmas. That's a great contribution. The ladies brought depth, strength and full watt. The Brian De Palma glow, was class. Art shouldn't have to explain itself, though. It just is. 04-Dec-2022
Ryan & Co. serve enough gay meat to feed a Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The stories intertwine nicely. Gay is not what it's cracked up to be. We live life waiting for our perversions to be rewarded. It never happens. I have to disagree with the politically correct's hate towards cops. In my day there were good cops and bad cops, like Jedis. A lot of the time, the good cop was gay. I am thankful for that. You almost want to look away every time that smart begins a story because a shitty end awaits it. Russell Tovey peaks our interest with egg-shaped ears, ass encapsulation and making it overwhelmingly and illegitimately hard to listen to a foreign accent without cumming. Zachary Quinto is wolfy and orgasmic. Charlie Carver epitomizes an innocent victim. Joe Mantello is the kind of daddy you want to breathe a moment of life into. Isaac Cole Powell is a body you can only dream about. I know they are going to fuck it up but I'm going to relax and enjoy the ride. 25-Oct-2022

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Crime Drama, Director's Touch, Fun, Gay, Hot Swatch, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Political, Representing, Sex, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful

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04-Dec-2022


Inside Man (2022) Whimper

How a good person can be lead to kill. Stanley Tucci is elegant and perceptive as a death row inmate who helps investigate and solve crime. Atkins Estimond supplies "Watson" cuddliness. David Tennant spirals like a rabid dog. The wife is a frantic lunatic and the tutor is the "Karen" that's asking for it. It flourished in the beginning when we were blinded by its freshness but once we analyzed the idiocy of it all, it didn't make much sense. The deductions are grabbed from thin air, some of the reactions are not reasonable and by the end I was irked. Why didn't they just burn the stupid thing? Why did the pervert have to be mentally challenged? All of my perverts had normal capabilities and didn't freak people out. Why are perverts granted mercy but "Karens" are unforgivable? Who gives their perverted porn to a vicar? Your mama don't want it in the house, smash it to smithereens. Yes, anyone can become a killer but many others don't. They are called good dead people. 05-Nov-2022

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Cliche, Crapfun, Creepy, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Indecipherable, LGBTQ, Overcooked, Preposterous, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Vague, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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05-Nov-2022


Sandman, The (2022-) Whimper

9-10. The showdown was anti-climactic because the Sandman's only defense is throwing sand in people's faces. 18-Aug-2022
S1E8. Raising Dion marks a return with a silly superhero suit, man nips and an unengaging sister. Lucienne hits dictation hard because she does not believe a word she says. Dream is making me laugh with how serious he is but the show is not. Corinthian grows wearisome and the raven and pumpkin feel out of place. Gault flickered economically. Good for her! 17-Aug-2022
Episodes 1-4 were a gliding introduction on skates but 5-7 cracked the ice. There is nothing in Patton Oswalt's voice that I would confuse for a mythological bird. The actors are best prior to the sixth episode with 5 being unbearable, 6 boring and 7 incapable of easing the many sexes and cultures gracefully. When the beautifully pale Morpheus with the tiniest lips and waist returns from episode hiatus, the interest is renewed. All else is Dr. Who/DC Christmas Special. 16-Aug-2022

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay, LGBTQ, Magic, Overcooked, Pitchy, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Static, Stupid Funny, Tedium, Timid, Tired, Warbly, Writ w/Possibilities

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18-Aug-2022


Insiders (2021) Arf

Future homeless are secured in a glass house to compete in an experiment that has them auditioning to win money and fame. Nothing is what it seems. The actors are award winning, the contestants are frantic and the host is a delicacy. The cruelty is unbelievable. Reactions from participants are placed above their mental health. I questioned the point of the experiment. Did it want to show us how maladjusted all representation is? Are we all to blame for life's fallacies? They make you think, kill, fuck, fake, think, kill, cry, fuck, fake, rage. When emotions run high we get to see the kind of homeless they will become. The producers' fuckery is set to get inside our heads by inhabiting media stereotypes. Yo, I think it works. It's a Ring type thing. Once you watch it your cells start to die. But the host is so fabulous and I want to see more pocket daddy legs. Yeah, I'm fucked. 24-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Funny, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Over the Top, Pitchy, Preposterous, Psychological, Questionable, Reality, Revenge, Sex, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Twisty, Warbly, Weird, Wit Crack, World, Writ Tough

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24-May-2022


Welcome To Eden (2022) Whimper

Younglings disabled on an island made to specifically serve two people. They are climate changers choosing nature over life. Death shall come to all except the ones who fight it. The mythology is not sensible or sustainable. The island surveils people without audio. The audio is everything. So poor. The boys are pretty in every sense and the girls are protein shakes. The relationships usurped all the interest that kept us glued to the nonsense. 19-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Disappointment, Drama, Foreign, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, LGBTQ, Overcooked, Psychological, Warbly, Words Spoke

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19-May-2022


Ex On The Beach (2014-) BitesDowngrade

It's uncomfortable watching gay boys creeping on girls. A woman has no safety zones. We end up feeling sorry for her and hating him. My generation was very proud of its identification and it's preference. We had an unwritten contract. The point of being gay was to retire vagina. This generation confuses itself. It confuses me. It confuses everybody. 17-May-2022
S5E2. Love means having to say you're sorry, a lot. The only thing holding a black woman down is her cheating membrane of a boyfriend. Are ragers who splash people with drinkable liquids pool owners? This asshole wants to know. Bisexuals proved synonymous with hypocrisy. A gay preference disguised as an accident is no reason to fuck up a trans life. Trans needs a do over. We've already established that wet dog dos are out. A man pretending to be more than a bisexual is a pervert who fucks little children. 10-Apr-2022
S4E12. The only people stopping gays from advancing is other gays. Imagine if other gays didn't exist. How happy we'd all be. Adore's ex compared her smell to a llama. I was supposed to insert an inappropriate joke but since I'm not officially a comedian, I looked it up to be sure. They have no odor and you can make beans out of their poop. They're always lying down and won't crap in bed or on the bus. Ok. Why does the ex have the smell of a llama memorized? Does he fuck them? What a day old bagel. The mini bagel had a Superman ex try to sweep her off her feet and away from Joker except all she saw was Two-Face. Half of his face was gorgeous. The everything bagel got fucked when his bagel fell on the floor for more than five-seconds and three people tried to eat it. Just for fun, the lesbian is a toasted bagel with lox and extra cheese. 09-Apr-2022
S4E10. Wow, the guy with the fake piano teeth made it. How can you resist the "I'm going to break your heart and fuck your pussy" swag? The cis man considers LGBTQ the handmaidens of sex. Promise the alpha good sex and he'll treat you like a handmaiden. Is the lesbian legal? The black "everything bagel" jock will be exposing his dick like a trophy to babies in a future verse. If we're going to teach sex ed in schools we should commence with a speech on how everybody is going to cheat on your fucking ass because you will probably suck at sex or snore. 08-Apr-2022
S4E1. Chronicling the lives of loser exes on a frozen beach. The producers found men that would risk their straight asses for love. Transvestites, drag queens and lesbians unite. The lesbian is granted male toxicity status because her big dick is plastic. A white man got all Will Smith when he noticed his black compatriot with a piano keys mouth. He is going to slap the fakeness out of them. 06-Apr-2022

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Comedy, Emasculating, Fun Acting, Gay, Hilarious, Horror, Incomprehensible, Insecurities, Insulting, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Preposterous, Psychological, Representing, Romance, Sex, Stupid Funny, Trashy, Wig Crack

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17-May-2022


Grammy Awards (2022) Whimper

Tevor Noah is no longer a comedian. He patched his tongue and made fun of Brady Bunch things. If a singer arrives in a rolls royce to deliver an "I don't care" message to an ex, she's a stalker. Gaga suffered from unflattering songs. The boys established an afro contest. Yum. Nobody ever burned my hair like that! Tevor Noah comes in second because he moans in accent. Bruno Mars wins the afro daddy contest. I'll massage his roots until he climaxes or I pull them all out. The rock n roll lesbian with Sharon Stone looks was awesome. Jon Batiste wins third. Yeah, I want to see if I can reach his afro before he cums. We must stop promoting people to be themselves because that might include "I want to slap you!" 03-Apr-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Award, Cancellation, Choices, Comedy, Entertainment, Hollywood, Insecurities, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Musical, Politics, Questionable, Tired

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03-Apr-2022