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All Posts Tagged as 'Preposterous'

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Wind, The (2018) Arf

Everything etched to perfection, less the comprehension to make us care. 06-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Horror, Preposterous, Silly, Suspense, Timid, Vague, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

06-Apr-2020


Platform, The (2020) Arf

It makes sense in the confines of the story but it's pretty preposterous without a big world picture. It's vile, claustrophobic and exhausting. 30-Mar-2020

Tags: 2020s, Action, Brutal, Drama, Fatigue, Gore, Mean Spirited, Oncer, Porn Violence, Preposterous, Repetitive, Vague, Weird, Wit Crack

Filed under: Movies

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30-Mar-2020


Green Room (2015) Whimper

Band of vagabonds get punished by nazis for playing crappy rock or because they witnessed a crime. Sir Patrick Stewart was hired to class up the film and the "n" word. Anton Yelchin's heroism is a John Connor (Terminator) facsimile with substandard realization. The film lost me as soon as the punk picks up his phone to call the police for a kill that wasn't directed at him. What is the purpose of nazis if there is no racial conflict? (They don't need the props.) They were dim and disoriented and anything but scary. It stalls, it repeats, it celebrates and I believed very little of it. 28-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Drama, Fatigue, Good Acting, Gore, Horror, Hot Swatch, Macho Posing, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Star Watt, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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28-Mar-2020


All Of Me (1984) Whimper

Instead of a body switch Mr. Reiner chose partial possession which is one of the most improbable storylines attempted ever. We want no change in anything but the story. The pros (Martin and Tomlin) don't embarrass easily because it makes sense that great comedy training includes stupidity. Martin freights most of it and freewheels in an agitated state that unnerves us but never hinders us from lapping up his star charm. Lily didn't feel like an equal because she was stuck in a mirror for most of it but her adorable cheekiness and one liners hit. The dance was still cute. 25-Mar-2020

Tags: 1980s, Art Devoid, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Good Acting, Magnetism, Music Swings, Over the Top, Preposterous, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: Movies

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25-Mar-2020


Grave Of The Vampire (1972) Whimper

Silliness about a resurrected vamp raping a mod chick that dies delivering his baby. The baby ages into a superhero hunk with little gift of gab and limited supernatural powers. The fair lady hired to scream, couldn't. Fast forward to the fight scene which has Thor mashing a tired Michael Morbius with no effects and generating loads of laughs. 24-Mar-2020

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Cold, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Hot Swatch, Inactivity, Political Satire, Preposterous, Silly, Tedium, Timid, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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24-Mar-2020


Love Witch, The (2016) Whimper

I did a double take when I realized the film wasn't set in the cheesy 60's gothic era. The women are dead ringers for the pristine beauty of that time and the daddies are porn succulence. The witch is a backwards feminist, desperate for love and domination, except her potions and sex stratagems only work precoital. Love turns men into quivering slobbering mush and she becomes vexed and resentful. The film is experimental, nonsensical and devoid of magic. 15-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Preposterous, Pretty, Relationships, Revenge, Silly, Vague, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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15-Mar-2020


Deadcon (2019) Bites

A con for the social sprinters, trifling and influencers. It takes forever to kill one and when they do its not enough. Solid acting keeps you tuned. 11-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Cold, Fatigue, Good Acting, Horror, Over the Top, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly

Filed under: Movies

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11-Mar-2020


Apostle (2018) Whimper

Infiltrating a religious sect to save a sibling. The premise barely sustains itself and Dan Stevens' idea of macho heroism is to grunt like a gorilla and squawk like a duck. He is so inspired to erase his Downton starter that what he erects is stiff overcompensation. The only thing the film gets right is torture and a weirdly coincidental female tree. 11-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Cultish, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Gory, Macho Posing, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Political Satire, Porn Violence, Preposterous, Revenge, Scare Obvious, Star Watt, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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11-Mar-2020


I Kill Giants (2017) Whimper

She kills giants and she's not afraid of them but then proceeds to quiver and weep at the thought. Having little girls spew superhero corn is cringey and embarrassingly hilarious. The girl on girl was tender but the titular was a smoky abstract. I was a bit confused by the giants. Why kill something that hands such good life advice upon victory or is that the point? Are they fortune cookies? 09-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Camp, Comic Book, Crapfun, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Mystery, Preposterous, Sweet, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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09-Mar-2020


Night Before, The (1988) Arf

Typical boy loses prom date which allows us to spend the night with him... retracing his steps. The details include rape, white slavery and violence. It really doesn't matter though... you watch because Keanu Reeves made a most huggable teen and Lori Loughlin struck with killer looks and scary everything else. 24-Feb-2020

Tags: 1980s, Accidental Watch, Action, Brutal, Camp, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Over the Top, Preposterous, Rapey, Revenge, Romance, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Tough, Twisty, Wit Snit

Filed under: Movies

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24-Feb-2020


Once Upon A Time... In Hollywood (2019) Whimper

I no longer squirt for QT unhinged idiosyncrasies. Talky, boring and pointless. 23-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Director Insanity, Drama, Fatigue, Grating, Inactivity, Over the Top, Porn Violence, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Vague, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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23-Feb-2020


Recall, The (2017) Bites

Wesley Snipes' character makes no sense and serves little purpose except to initiate coincidental saves. The aliens are underwhelming compared to its rip counterparts. The only injection of interest occurs at end where the film should have started. 22-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Grating, Horror, Hot Swatch, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Vague

Filed under: Movies

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22-Feb-2020


Selfie From Hell (2018) Bites

I would have jumped, had reason backed it up. 13-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Creepy, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Political, Preposterous, Scare Obvious, Silly, Tedium, Timid

Filed under: Movies

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13-Feb-2020


Godzilla: King Of The Monsters (2019) Whimper

A blanched all-star siphon it's heart but the smoked monsters have art comic book flair. Blur the actors and fine-tune the monsters. 13-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Bad Acting, By the Numbers, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Fantasy, Fatigue, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Timid

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

13-Feb-2020


Midnight Movie: The Killer Cut (2008) Whimper

In order for a viewer to digest mumbo jumbo we need to be privy to the rules. The film concocts it and we decide if it is within the realm of possibility so we can view the art piece with tolerance. No rules were established and the filmmaker refused to reserve a coherent explanation. It was remastered to look sharper but not sound brighter. 03-Feb-2020

Tags: 2000s, 2020s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Camp, Corn, Director Slouch, Fatigue, Indecipherable, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Timid, Vague, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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03-Feb-2020




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