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All Posts Tagged as 'Preposterous'
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My Little Margie (1952 - 1955) 
Ridiculousness is the charm that keeps you glued to seeing horrible people fail. The father thinks that by treating his adult daughter like a wife that she will outgrow her conniving ways. Yes, it's a Lucy wannabe. The daughter Margie is an unscrupulous Lucy in her 20s. The protagonist is adept at mimicking voices and throwing a punchline but she wasn't Lucy. The character is hard to like. It is structured as a last minute idea. Somebody wrote a porn script for fun, they couldn't meet a deadline so they repurposed it for television. Margie is everything the modern woman is blamed for. Woman domination is irrefutable. Single dad that looks great in shorts is raising an over-teen. He is so overwhelmed by her antics/lunacy that he employs his boss and "girlfriend" to sabotage her. The boss is especially inappropriate. Holy crap! They had a black elevator man that entered apartments and canoodled with the white folks in the building. He was allowed to touch them! He was funny. The old neighbor was a hoot dressing up in drag and joining forces with Margie to scam people. She was no Mrs. Trumbull. My favorites almost always involved hillbilly or Hindu disguises, etc. Romantic relationships never evolved. They acted and reacted like spouses and weren't ashamed. The lead actress worked hard and had perfect pitch but I wanted a slushie thrown in her face. I'm surprised it made it to classic but more amazed that it still stirs. 18-Jan-2025
I was invested until the end. The characters had depth and appeal but made little sense. In what world do children overreact because their parents are arguing? Teens don't give a fuck. I didn't understand the rift between mom and dad. He promised to acquiesce to her regiment but chose happiness instead. She dreams of a proper dick that can soothe her needs and hubby acknowledges that by drinking 3 vase beers every night. What's wrong with that? Autism should never be utilized as a gimmick. No regular person would ever figure out those coordinates. They would die. Fake comebacks are exhausting and disrespectful to artists who actually wring emotions out of concept. A disaster movie without climate deaths is like Godzilla with no breath. The parting of the ocean was only seconds. You can't be edgy or effective if the description is it's like Swiss Family Robinson without a budget...or deaths...except that guy in the back. 24-Dec-2024
I get anxious whenever I hear Sandy's voice. She sounds like a spoiled housewife with a lozenge stuck in her throat and her reasoning for everything is ludicrous. I was disappointed that the Lacheys did not comfort Nick for having strong feelings about Sandy's infidelity. She claims that her and JR only kissed twice but cameras beg to differ. There were make-out sessions with extra cuddles under the sheets with no wet willies or stiff underwoods guaranteed and the bedbugs elicited the moans the cameramen thought they heard. Madame Web has spun her web and entrapped two gullible and dependent men in it. She is no victim. She likes them because they are not superheroes but think they are. I'm surprised the Lacheys didn't suggest JR whip out his dick for Nick (not Lachey) to suck. They humiliated that man mercilessly. Sandy brings out the toxic in me. TG it's almost over. Everything JR says is nonsense. Big men don't pretend they're on Fantasy Island on Max, don't want to get married but can't shut up about wanting it and oozes hostility when the jig is up. Is Zaina buying JR's love or paying for her exit? I still dig Caleb. He's the only one who tried to stand up to reason. His mystery deepens. He exists in his own little planet of misfit toys crashing onto earth. He acts like an over-chilled teen that mommy Mariah is afraid to disappoint because he will rebel and she'll have to have sex post relationship. When the original couples reunited it turned into a "how was school today, honey?" type scenario. After cashing in all the vouchers the producers promised them, every person was enlightened, the fairy tale is real, men never get woodies while cuddling, that bitch was not crying over her dog or JR, women are consumed by victimhood, asshole parents make asshole children who want to make more asshole children, the producers made them say that because 4 people thought the show was shit and this has been a turned-off season. 13-Dec-2024
Zaina and J.R. came to play. Neither has regard for the other or anybody else. Sandy came to annoy her lover and fuck hot shit. J.R. disrespected every man when he barred his fake wife from consoling her desperate husband after finding out their intimacy went too far. Morality clauses state that all couples must break up before embarking in new matrimony. Nick came to lose it, get free psychotherapy and nerve pills. Caleb's mellow puts me in a trance and it's why I presume Mariah is well-spoken but blank. He turns them into robots. He's sexy until he starts re-programming you. He turned Aria into a Stepford. 4 people woke up and realized the madness of The Lacheys and abruptly departed like in the island of Dr. Moreau. Exactly how many other people did the Lacheys fuck to realize they belong together? After the contestants departed the show became insecure and gave us more of what we didn't want. J. R. and Sandy's horny gas lighting. I want to fuck them both and hand them over to Pazuzu for some lady cement and calf extensions. You bet I'd watch the porn tape, but make no mistakes these aren't marrying candidates. They want to get married so they can pretend to be happy whilst performing diabolical sexual acts on others. J.R. and Sandy deserve most unfeeling humans honors. Nick should have been given an ultimatum, to cruise establishments that cater to singles and find another match or the experiment is over for the whore. "J.R., please remove your dick from my future wife's face." 08-Dec-2024
A series plan might have suited the film better because characterization was thin. Zoe Saldana's spirit gets lost in spanish. Edgar Ramirez was an edible. A little more Adriana Paz would have broken my heart. The sex scene was so demure. They mimicked fucking each other. Selena was typecast as a bedhead drunk who sucks as a mother, can't really speak spanish and has no reason to be there. Karla Sofia was more than ready for her close-up but the writers couldn't come up with quality material that would allow her to burst. Cartel titan bamboozles frazzled lawyer into changing his identity by assisting him to become a woman, unbeknownst to anyone but her. The musical numbers succeed as much as they hurt. The actors don't really sing. They talk to music. An operatic approach might have suited its subject better. All who participated in the musical segments were brave enough to make us cringe. Kudos. Such openness. Who accepts a musical assignment without adding joy? A notorious killer can change its spots if they become the fairer sex. The transition wasn't believable. Did Perez not retain any of cartel leader's assholiness or survival skills? The film ponders no realities. You are instantly a saint when the sex change happens. If you go to prison for past errors you are compensated by having first pick of jailhouse wenches. Bingo! 16-Nov-2024
Hartnett's choice of psycho was goofy and almost unbearable to watch. The close-ups where he talks directly into the camera were off-putting and silly. The nepo concert felt endless and obvious. The father/daughter dynamic was thin and cardboard. They didn't show how Josh got from one place to another, he was just there. All the answers landed so simply that it trashed the clues. The twist was great as a spoken word but without presentation it's null. The home life doesn't enter until the end when we no longer give a fuck. Maybe it should have started there and include the daughter in the plot. She realizes he's psycho and has to kill him. But how?! 27-Oct-2024
Late Night With The Devil (2023) 
In order for the premise to thrive, the guests must shine. The little girl was inspired by the Scary movie franchise. The host had the most but was overshadowed by ponderous material. Support did not attempt to break a stereotypical shell to elicit empathy or further their characters. It didn't intrigue me, convince me or frighten me. (My mother wins most awesomemest possession of a devil in realtime.) It's almost impossible to recreate magic that only happens once in a lifetime. 22-Oct-2024
Interesting premise that has no solid fictional reference to back it up. The idea that you get surgery at 16 to look your most beautiful self and be happy is fraudulent. Why didn't the people revolt before they agreed to a ludicrous way of living? What happens to the naturally beautiful? Vanity purists wouldn't allow that type of interruption to their legacy. Is there anything uglier than uglies? Do they step up to ugly status when the others reach nirvana? How many mothers popped ugly babies for society to enact such a rule? The baddie was a borderline dystopian with comic book strokes. If the rulers can manipulate the people to overhaul ugly, why go to the next extreme? The beauty is for whom? I liked Nose better before he turned into a Final Fantasy character. The movie made me self conscious of the lead's looks. I was judging them constantly to see if she fit the part. All she needed was a bath. The finale was maddening. You mean the baddies could have done that all along? What did they need Tally for? Her history with Nose had a heartbeat but her new buddy happend too swiftly and coincidentally to kick. Nose closure was a post-it from somebody else's refrigerator. I wished Croy was Smoke. Feelings coming back after transitioning wasn't explored enough to be convincing. Wouldn't starting fires to escape the opposition create an air map for the enemy? Skate surfing scenes uplifted but forging through the woods to bring grandma back was stark. It was not painful to watch or stay. 18-Sep-2024
S1E5. Is it really a choreographed dance sequence if we hardly see the legs of the dancers moving? I can get children to do that in their high chairs. Liev Schreiber's character hit a sour note when he sang, became vain for no apparent reason and he sang again, at the beach because the script ran out of words. He's either miscast, or yucking it up. When Lady Nic was in the kitchen talking to the Blunt chick, her marker indicated she was talking to her from our right but she was to the left. Who was Nic talking to? The script was so thin I could only zip through the words. Direction had no perception as to what people need as opposed to what they want. I didn't care for the victim. She spoke on a platform instead of speaking from the heart. 10-Sep-2024
S1E4. It follows its previous achievement like a spiritual intervention. Lady Nic sparkles but has little action. Eve Hanson is an Emily Blunt snoop. I don't understand why she would have liberty to expose private family pieces. Of course, Scooter can come on me bucketfuls but why is he there? Dakota is livening up and I like it. Benji chose to become Frankenstein over Dracula because he knew his monster only liked girls. Liev Scrheiber fits a sexual attraction but not a breathing husband. Subjects are limited, the wait is cumbersome, it's going to cheat but Lady Nic looked Barbie doll great. 08-Sep-2024
An International Male catalog with skimpy naked men that should be licked. 31-Aug-2024
They look, talk and walk like ducks but don't like being called ducks. Only Fans creators are thrust inside a fish tank so they can observe, teach and grow their businesses. Some peel their clothes off while others tease it. Everyone is judgmental, scared and hostile. It was difficult to side with anyone because a lot of them believe they have the answer to surviving the mess they're in. Chase's beauty kept melting off the more he talked. The gay couple was so united in their bond that there was no space to breathe. They clung dependently like Venom and Hardy. The straight couple only had sex with each other on camera. They were special. She wanted to hold on to chastity. Any man that needs to fuck so many times a day already cheated and had the threesome she denied him. Brother gay with an appealing body needed to purse his lips, not glow them. The arguments are loud, repetitive and frustrating. Maybe the creators will realize the answer when they are outside the box. I don't know the answer but I know how it ends. The women questioned everything and added motives later. We never got an answer to the smelly pussygate dilemma. Was she sexually violated or were men just being themselves? Is that the reason we have to label everything? To distance ourselves from others? They close every argument like there will be a sequel. I wish my brain would function as fluidly as these creators. It made the cuckoo in my head clock pop. They are killing the mystery of the fantasy by telling too much. 29-Jul-2024
They couldn't follow up the original story so they made shit up. I wanted to see the devil fuck a jackal. In what Walt Disney world is that not possible? It took cues from The Nun without inhabiting what made the original Omen successful. Actors we cared about bringing a terrific book to life. A score that lives in my eternal memory. A director that defined it without judging it. Damien-Omen II's foreboding notes would have given the movie strength and fan base pleasure throughout, if they had thought to use it. 01-Jun-2024
Johnny Flynn did not make me understand why anybody would envy Dickie's life enough to steal it. Dakota Fanning was misused. She never really progressed past her harsh demeanor. She needed the director to shake the professionalism out of her. She was supposed to be the heart and the meat of the story but there was little proof the character had any. I would have air horned her when she couldn't say Dickie with a straight face. Why were the details so repetitive and why did I have to look up Caravaggio to understand what the killer was all about? Because, besides talking to dead people, it's complicated. Inspector Ravini added a shot of testosterone to the murky blunders. He was a beautiful respite from Ripley's underwhelming reactions. Unfortunately, the Lucy episode betrayed him. The idea that Scott could play both characters in front of an expert investigator, whilst sporting a goatee and messy hair and not get found out was a slap in the face of the entire investigation and series. Even Ricky wasn't that stupid. Ripley never got to spaz out. Bummer. Dickie was never pictured in the papers when they thought he was missing and when he was wanted for murder. The cops didn't go door to door with a picture of Dickie asking the hotel clerks if they've seen this man. Why? Woodbine showed up again for no reason other than to fill his quota. He also kept his eyes mostly closed. Comprehension did not seem feasible at that point. 19-Apr-2024
E5. You can't ask a fish to play a canine. Instead of using it's time to add depth to other characters it kept depending on only one artist. It is not feasible that a person of his character would return to the scene of the crime and less feasible that nobody would care. Details that read well were ignorantly distributed. I read the original book, was entertained by the film and remembered it wasn't this boring. 17-Apr-2024
E3. Of course I'm still mad that they didn't supply any crayons for the coloring book but papito's italian accent made up for it. He added finality to certain words and made them linger with musicality. I crinkled half the book joyously laughing. I pinched him and hugged myself. 16-Apr-2024
E2. I'm losing patience. It doesn't matter what spectrum an actor falls into, when asked to play a boy, they better act like one. 14-Apr-2024
E1. Black and white can be a statement, the past and or a representation. Schindler's List was black and white so the violence wouldn't be glamorized and the subject exploited. I have no idea why this interpretation needs to be in black and white. It's insurmountable misery. The ambience is french/italian movies from the 60's that bored or didn't easily make sense. It shouldn't be noir. Paper Moon? The Little Rascals? It's not Hitchcock. If the black participants hadn't kept their eyes open, I wouldn't have noticed them. I recognized Woodbine's name after the credits. Who did he play exactly? Yes, the shadow at the bar. The mystery sweeps, the movement is slow but the leads keep you interested.
(Cutest swimsuit ever!) 13-Apr-2024
(Cutest swimsuit ever!) 13-Apr-2024
There's Something In The Barn (2023) 
The director didn't add scope to cramped spaces. The set-up was an opportunity to marry into the Gremlins family but the creatives were inspired to make schlock. It was nice to have a boy do something in a movie besides being written out. The thing in the barn is not a CGI wonder or a Chucky miracle. It was old and dusty, like the script. I hope they hired some little people, at least. The film confuses weird with scary. The action sequences were frozen, the comedy was foggy and horror didn't show up. 01-Apr-2024
It was difficult to establish how the animatronics were killing people. They never showed it. It was directed for wimps who are scared of horror movies. The reason for living animatronics is an overused one. They couldn't be aliens? How the fuck did that animatronic get in the car? They do not bend easily. How many times did we have to relive Josh's memories? We got it the first time. 07-Mar-2024
Michelle Keegan was salty with inner strength. Woman and child lose daddy to murder when intense family bonding goes awry. The detectives bungle, connect, bond and make us feel. Joanna Lumley exerts bitchiness and priority. The suspects were vibing. I was invested in every episode. Puzzle pieces were a reward. The final ones put my eyeballs back into my head. It would make absolutely no sense, if the director and performances weren't so great. It was like watching Dynasty: The Best Years with a moldovian massacre at the end. 14-Jan-2024
