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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Preposterous'
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No voice actor accomplished the spirit of the characters they were portraying and no artist brought forth the actors' sensibilities. Timon and Pumba didn't coagulate and were kind of icky. Being younger does not excuse Mufasa's studious voice. What college did he go to? There was no boom in his voice at all. Rafiki's accent was diluted which killed his character's strength and suppressed his charisma. Where was Scar's gay accent? The songs retracted more than they bounced, the animation creeped more than it amazed, and the story was blasphemous and weak. All this fuss over a lioness when Scar's real crush should have been Mufasa. The brother song was so inept that it made me furious every time they said brother. The bottom of the barrel. 11-Apr-2025
A frown is a smile upside down. 10-Apr-2025
I thought of something. Rebrand it as "The Frown." 09-Apr-2025
Naomi Scott created a character that was easy to understand and interesting to follow. The plot was basic. Many things seemed random. An out of the blue character always appears to explain the rules. The mythology is so vague that explanations became invalid. I still don't know what was real or not. I was committed because Ms. Scott was master tripping on emotions. I concocted many scenarios but I couldn't accept the smile thing (Joker thoughts), the mythology (not Buffy) or the scares (Terrifier-centric.) 09-Apr-2025
Dwayne Johnson's voice calmed me down, Scherzinger can belt one out, the songs weren't Nickelodeon worthy, the adventure is inanity that applied no sense and didn't teach the kids anything. Why do we always look to the past to celebrate a culture? In reality they would have cooked Pua at the first celebratory feast. The spiritualization represented is not feasible. It's full of nonsensical magic and bullshit. Disney's animated films have become babysitters for children and nap time for adults. The film takes cinema out of the equation. 17-Mar-2025
It's more of an exercise than it is an accomplishment. I stayed tuned because the man who cracks dicks with his ass is charming as fuck. None of the support matches him. The symbiotes' history did not have enough humanity to make me care. The action sequences depended heavily on coincidence. The chemistry between Mrs. Chen and Mr. Hardy was wasted. The threat was so surreal that it became mute. I stayed to memorize Hardy's butt but he didn't turn around much. 01-Mar-2025
The atmosphere is chilling, the sounds creep and the actors are crude. FBI agent encounters said serial killer as a child but forgets. She has to find him before he kills again because she's an X-Men now. The agent is slightly psychic and heavily catatonic throughout except when she jolts awake to kick some butt. Sir Nicolas was doing his thing a la Toymaker. He was psychotic, abandoning and ridiculous. I didn't know if I wanted more of him or not. The film meanders depressively. The commonality between the agent and the serial killer is benign and hooey. Mumbo jumbo glues all the pieces together because most of it doesn't make sense. 15-Feb-2025
A series plan might have suited the film better because characterization was thin. Zoe Saldana's spirit gets lost in spanish. Edgar Ramirez was an edible. A little more Adriana Paz would have broken my heart. The sex scene was so demure. They mimicked fucking each other. Selena was typecast as a bedhead drunk who sucks as a mother, can't really speak spanish and has no reason to be there. Karla Sofia was more than ready for her close-up but the writers couldn't come up with quality material that would allow her to burst. Cartel titan bamboozles frazzled lawyer into changing his identity by assisting him to become a woman, unbeknownst to anyone but her. The musical numbers succeed as much as they hurt. The actors don't really sing. They talk to music. An operatic approach might have suited its subject better. All who participated in the musical segments were brave enough to make us cringe. Kudos. Such openness. Who accepts a musical assignment without adding joy? A notorious killer can change its spots if they become the fairer sex. The transition wasn't believable. Did Perez not retain any of cartel leader's assholiness or survival skills? The film ponders no realities. You are instantly a saint when the sex change happens. If you go to prison for past errors you are compensated by having first pick of jailhouse wenches. Bingo! 16-Nov-2024
Hartnett's choice of psycho was goofy and almost unbearable to watch. The close-ups where he talks directly into the camera were off-putting and silly. The nepo concert felt endless and obvious. The father/daughter dynamic was thin and cardboard. They didn't show how Josh got from one place to another, he was just there. All the answers landed so simply that it trashed the clues. The twist was great as a spoken word but without presentation it's null. The home life doesn't enter until the end when we no longer give a fuck. Maybe it should have started there and include the daughter in the plot. She realizes he's psycho and has to kill him. But how?! 27-Oct-2024
Late Night With The Devil (2023) 
In order for the premise to thrive, the guests must shine. The little girl was inspired by the Scary movie franchise. The host had the most but was overshadowed by ponderous material. Support did not attempt to break a stereotypical shell to elicit empathy or further their characters. It didn't intrigue me, convince me or frighten me. (My mother wins most awesomemest possession of a devil in realtime.) It's almost impossible to recreate magic that only happens once in a lifetime. 22-Oct-2024
Interesting premise that has no solid fictional reference to back it up. The idea that you get surgery at 16 to look your most beautiful self and be happy is fraudulent. Why didn't the people revolt before they agreed to a ludicrous way of living? What happens to the naturally beautiful? Vanity purists wouldn't allow that type of interruption to their legacy. Is there anything uglier than uglies? Do they step up to ugly status when the others reach nirvana? How many mothers popped ugly babies for society to enact such a rule? The baddie was a borderline dystopian with comic book strokes. If the rulers can manipulate the people to overhaul ugly, why go to the next extreme? The beauty is for whom? I liked Nose better before he turned into a Final Fantasy character. The movie made me self conscious of the lead's looks. I was judging them constantly to see if she fit the part. All she needed was a bath. The finale was maddening. You mean the baddies could have done that all along? What did they need Tally for? Her history with Nose had a heartbeat but her new buddy happend too swiftly and coincidentally to kick. Nose closure was a post-it from somebody else's refrigerator. I wished Croy was Smoke. Feelings coming back after transitioning wasn't explored enough to be convincing. Wouldn't starting fires to escape the opposition create an air map for the enemy? Skate surfing scenes uplifted but forging through the woods to bring grandma back was stark. It was not painful to watch or stay. 18-Sep-2024
They couldn't follow up the original story so they made shit up. I wanted to see the devil fuck a jackal. In what Walt Disney world is that not possible? It took cues from The Nun without inhabiting what made the original Omen successful. Actors we cared about bringing a terrific book to life. A score that lives in my eternal memory. A director that defined it without judging it. Damien-Omen II's foreboding notes would have given the movie strength and fan base pleasure throughout, if they had thought to use it. 01-Jun-2024
There's Something In The Barn (2023) 
The director didn't add scope to cramped spaces. The set-up was an opportunity to marry into the Gremlins family but the creatives were inspired to make schlock. It was nice to have a boy do something in a movie besides being written out. The thing in the barn is not a CGI wonder or a Chucky miracle. It was old and dusty, like the script. I hope they hired some little people, at least. The film confuses weird with scary. The action sequences were frozen, the comedy was foggy and horror didn't show up. 01-Apr-2024
It was difficult to establish how the animatronics were killing people. They never showed it. It was directed for wimps who are scared of horror movies. The reason for living animatronics is an overused one. They couldn't be aliens? How the fuck did that animatronic get in the car? They do not bend easily. How many times did we have to relive Josh's memories? We got it the first time. 07-Mar-2024
Women can do anything except fight wars, raise non-toxic boys or shut up. Barbie is a politic, a preacher and a bore. Man hate shuffles in so often that enjoyment is stifled. The cast is brilliant. Margo and Ryan were perfect iterations of iconic toys and the support kept up but the story just memes on the same subject, over and over. The film distinguishes the sexes without exploring true intentions or circumstances. The best way for feminists to free themselves from a man's grasp is to never marry and to abolish religions that place them in dire situations. 16-Dec-2023
The pace had no time to set-up character appreciation, it had a billion particles to settle. The family dynamic was food, drink, celebration and insanity. George Lopez added comedy schtick to his act. He looked like a character booted from Bedrock because he was too loud and ornery. The breast queen should be playing Lady MacBeth not becoming a free TV actor. I can see her washing blood from her hands and implementing Elvira's cleavage cut. The rest of the family and the leads apply stereotypes without explaining them. There is no such thing as a stereotype because it's only a description of our heritage. Universal speak. Nobody passed the classic TV Q test and the silliness hardly stopped. The best of the mythology turned into a fiesta. The family went everywhere together. Really? When did they masturbate? Why did the family get superpowers? Beetle's nemesis was a bigger and badder version of himself. Couldn't we have gotten something a little different? If the production wanted to fill the female quota, why didn't they concoct some awesome female villains? He has lots and no villain is scarier than a latin woman scorned. She'll slash your tires. 27-Nov-2023
I was surprised by the comedy horror tag. I saw nothing funny except for all the situations that put Ortega in harm's way. She was one of the bright things.The ghost costume needs an upgrade. The voice actor for Ghostface sounded like a harmless prototype. It's nice to remember the past but it didn't adhere to logic. The newbies were social media born and nothing more. I applaud Neve for bringing her original face and showing us she can act. She looked great. Cruel deaths are only delegated to males. The director did well with horror but the wink, wink trivia isn't cool anymore. That joke only works once then it becomes annoying. 13-Nov-2023
