Young men and boys are being radicalised into hating women, the British author behind the Everyday Sexism Project has warned, saying online groups are targeting boys as young as 11.

Over the last couple of years, she said, she noticed a major increase in school-age British boys expressing ideas and using language she had seen on radical online hate groups.

“They were parroting verbatim the same myths and misconceptions in schools across the country,” Bates, whose new book, “Men who Hate Women”, was published on Thursday, told the Thomson Reuters Foundation in an interview.

Some mass killings by young men in recent years have been linked to anger against women, something some analysts say is being fuelled by social media.

I met my husband 13 years ago, and we’ve been together ever since. We fell deeply, madly in love with each other and have been married for nine wonderful years now. He’s patient, kind, gentle-hearted. He’s also always been honest about being gay and has never hidden it from me. Only one of our mutual friends knows this about my husband. Our son also knows, since we thought it would be best to remain open with him about it, so he never “found out” by surprise or from our mutual friend. Our son took the news very well and doesn’t care that his father was gay.

I’ve never told my family, or really any of my friends, as I think they’d all be judgmental. My siblings don’t like my husband, but that’s a different letter in itself. So I’ve always kept it bottled up inside. He’s been married before, and divorced, to a straight woman, with whom he has a grown daughter. I’m a straight woman too. I’ve asked my husband about it, and he confirms that he’s gay, not bisexual. He left his first wife because of a lot of problems (and her infidelity), then he was in a few different relationships with other men, before he met his ex-boyfriend. They were still living together when we met. I’m confused by it all, and it has, at times, caused problems in our marriage, because of my lack of self-confidence. I have doubts that he might leave me someday for a gay relationship like he did his ex-wife. We’ve both been faithful to each other, and he loves me, and I love him. But is that good enough for him? Would you consider him bisexual or gay?

—Not-Quite-Lavender Marriage

Q. I want to puke: I recently found out that my husband has been sexting his cousin! I’m at a loss. Just devastated. It’s bad enough that he has been sexting another woman, but it is with his first cousin and it has been going on for years! We’ve been married for 30 years! I feel like if it were any other woman, I could deal with this. And, my God, I wish it was someone else.

I feel trapped! I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this! All I can think of is how disgusting and disappointed my children, who are in their 20s, and his family would be. We spend a lot of time together with his family and are very close. (No pun intended.) His sisters are like sisters to me. In fact, one of the sisters is best friends with the cousin! I can’t think straight! Please help me help myself! They both have said it hasn’t gone beyond texting, but from the messages I saw, I believe it would or could have.

Google has fired one of its top artificial intelligence researchers, Margaret Mitchell, escalating internal turmoil at the company following the departure of Timnit Gebru, another leading figure on Google’s AI ethics team.

In a statement to Reuters, Google said the firing followed a weeks-long investigation that found she moved electronic files outside the company. Google said Mitchell violated the company’s code of conduct and security policies.

Gebru said Google fired her after she questioned an order not to publish a paper claiming AI that mimics language could hurt marginalized populations.

Men find that platonic friendships with other men 'emotionally rival' their romantic relationships with women, according to a study in Men and Masculinities.

Those surveyed said 'the lack of boundaries and judgment' in their friendships with other men resulted in 'elevated emotional stability, enhanced emotional disclosure, social fulfilment, and better conflict resolution, compared to the emotional lives they shared with girlfriends'.

Most of the participants answers to the survey also made reference to the fact they felt more like they could be their real self with their bros.

As one respondent said: "Tim knows I love listening to Taylor Swift and Beyoncé, but I keep that quiet [around my girlfriend] because she would judge me. I feel like I have to be more manly around her."

A new TikTok trend has users sharing the “craziest” ways they’ve discovered they were being cheated on.

The trend started on Nov. 27 when user Mandi Kay Bowles asked her followers the question, “What is the craziest way you guys found out that somebody was cheating on you?”

One user named Brittany revealed in a now-viral TikTok that she found out a guy who she’d been seeing for three years was cheating when he gave her a very specific type of UTI caused by E. coli in her urine.

“I was like, ‘There’s no way, I’m always clean.’ Well, turns out my boyfriend actually didn’t go to the gym; he was having sex with another man,” she explained. He had sex with her immediately after having sex with another man, which gave her the UTI.

A Utah teacher has admitted having an inappropriate relationship with a 14-year-old pupil — even sneaking her into their school in a large storage bin, according to an affidavit.

Father of four Lucas Sloan Talley, 38, had “personal contact via text message and email with multiple young girls” during his 12 years at South Hills Middle School in Riverton, according to the affidavit obtained by Deseret News.

That increased when the school shut down because of the pandemic and he “struggled” with no longer getting the girls’ “validation” that he “thrives on,” he told investigators, according to the affidavit.

My husband and I are in our early 50s and married for nine years. I hate to say this, but the way he dresses embarrasses me to tears, and it’s hurting our relationship.

Is it acceptable for a man to wear tights and nothing else? I’m not talking yoga pants; I mean ballerina dancer sheer tights that leave NOTHING to the imagination. He mainly wears them in our garage (where people who drive by can see), but lately I’ve caught him standing talking to neighbors like that. Am I overreacting by telling him he can’t wear things like that outside the house? If it isn’t the tights, it’s skin-tight biker-type shorts or shorts made from a mesh material that shows it ALL if there’s a light source behind him.

We have gone rounds over this almost daily. He promises he will stop, but it’s only a matter of hours before he’s back in costume. Is it OK to wear things like that now? I don’t see women wearing tights that show off as much as his do. I’m at the point I want to gather up all offending clothing and head to the dumpster. If you say let him wear what he wants, I will, and I will keep my eyes and mouth shut. -- MORTIFIED IN CALIFORNIA

Sexual harassment is rife in the restaurant industry. And as it often goes, the most precarious workers — those who rely on tips, and who get paid as little as $2.13 an hour in direct wages — are also the most vulnerable. Two-thirds of tipped workers are women, and many are women of color. In addition to routine harassment from male co-workers and supervisors, they may also face unwanted advances and sexual comments from customers, with little hope for recourse: If they speak up, they could risk losing their tip, which for many doesn’t feel like an option.

“Pull that mask down so I can see if I want to take you home later,” reads one comment. Another person who participated in the survey wrote that a male customer cut a hole in the mouth of his mask, and asked one of her female coworkers “if she sat on his face, would he get COVID.” When workers tried to ignore or refuse unwelcome advances, many customers responded aggressively. “When I told him no, I’m not allowed [to remove my mask], he became more insistent, saying things like ‘No one will notice,’ or ‘I want to see the face of the girl that gave me the great service,’” reads one comment. Another wrote that she’s constantly called a “whore” for asking people to wear a mask.

A new survey has found that dads might be taking a lot more time for themselves than moms in heterosexual households.

Conducted by online retailer Zulily, the survey found that 68 percent of moms only take one to five hours per week of "me time" while, according to Parents, results showed that dads take six hours or more.

Parents also noted that an earlier study from Zulily found that moms were reporting 31 percent less time to themselves since the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic.

"Often, moms carry the mental load of doing the 'extra' tasks at work and at home," Lindsay C. Malloy, Ph.D., told Parents. "Maybe others rely on you because you always say 'yes,' and now might be a good time to try to change this pattern by putting your foot down."

Dear Prudence,
I am a professional woman who has been married for 16 years. My job is stressful, and I often work 12 hours or more. We have no children. At first things were wonderful, and my husband always seemed like a sweet, mild-mannered, caring man. Three years in, he was laid off because his company ran into financial trouble. Because I am a high-earner, I told him he didn’t need to go back to work as long as he kept the house up and did basic repair projects. He never went back to work, but he never kept the house up, either. We also hired housecleaners to visit every two weeks, but in between nothing got done. I asked him to go back to work. He didn’t. I strongly suspected he was having affairs a few years later, but he always denied it. I have no concrete proof, but he did many suspicious things like hiding months of phone bills and having midnight texts. Years later he voluntarily took two polygraph tests to save the marriage (we stopped having intimate relations five years ago mostly because I no longer admired, respected, or trusted him, and because of my resentment toward him on several levels). He failed the tests.

Until lately, I generally ignored all my feelings and went about trying to have a good life. My husband will not discuss our issues because, he says, he clams up or needs time to think. I verbalize my needs and frustrations all the time. At one point he started snapping at me and rolling his eyes, but I firmly and strongly told him to stop, which he mostly has. I demanded that he get a job, and he finally works 25 hours a week making a small salary. He knows I no longer love him (in the least), but he won’t leave. We now live in separate bedrooms. We have been to two marriage counselors. I have told him I will go back if he is willing to discuss his unfaithfulness, which he still denies. He states the lie-detector tests are invalid. The house and everything we own are paid for by me alone. I need to divorce, but he will take everything I own, plus alimony. On the surface, he is a nice, charming, religious guy. None of our friends know about our marriage troubles, and they would be shocked to hear this. Advice, please.

—Trapped

I love to eat (ever since I got over my fear of eating). I tend to eat until I feel sick. Similar to how people test their alcohol consumption to see how much they can drink without puk­ing, I’ve tested how much food I can eat and still fuck. On nights I know I’m going to be having sex, of course I eat less, which is annoying but in the end it’s worth it, because you get to have sex and feel good and not bloated while having it. This — and the fact that you shaved for no reason — is why being flaked on sucks, especially for girls, because in antici­pation of hanging out, we ate just one piece of pizza instead of the regular four, and now it’s late and we’re hungry and we didn’t even get laid. Although not eating and then getting flaked on is still preferable to the times where we eat a shit­ load and then randomly get asked to hang out. This is most distressing because there is almost nothing in the world we wouldn’t drop to spend time with our crush. The only rea­son we will say no to a spontaneous hang is because it’s after dinner and we don’t feel hot. It will pain us to say no for this reason, but trust me, we will.

A few weeks ago, I was supposed to take my sons to an outdoor activity that ended up getting canceled due to weather. We found out about the cancellation when we were halfway there. Before I turned around, I texted my husband that we would be heading home and never got a text back. This wasn’t unusual, as he usually puts his phone on “do not disturb” while he’s working. When we got home, I opened the door to find my husband and his best friend, “Ryan,” completely naked, and having fairly rough sex on our dining room table. They had music blaring, so they didn’t hear us come in, and my sons and I were all in shock and just stood there for a good 30 to 60 seconds before I was able to shut the music off, and they realized what was going on and could cover up. Obviously, this is a bit of a chaotic situation.

Ryan is like an uncle to my kids, has dinner at our house several times a week, has occasionally lived with us, and he and my husband actually work together. My husband and I are planning on staying together and are still trying to figure a lot of things out. Here’s the problem: My younger son (6) is pretty oblivious and thought Uncle Ryan was wrestling with his dad. My middle son (9) is very confused about the mechanics of what we saw (we’ve had the sex talk with him, but in hindsight, we made the mistake of only talking about heterosexual sex). My older son (12) is having a very difficult time. My middle son has a lot of questions that I’m not really sure how to answer, and I’m not sure how much detail I should be going into, and who should be leading this conversation (me? my husband? a doctor?). I’ve been getting phone calls home from my older son’s school. Ever since the incident, he has apparently been making derogatory remarks about gay people, using slurs, and is also refusing to speak to his father (they were previously pretty close). The school is threatening to expel him. We’re on the waitlist for individual and family therapy, but I was wondering if you guys had any advice about what to do with my two older sons?

—What Now?

If I told you that I only watch porn for research in sociology, you’d likely call bullshit. And you’d be right. My husband and I have been together for thirty-three years. We have what sex advice columnist Dan Savage calls a “monogamish” relationship.

Passionate sex in a new relationship has a shelf life of about one year for all couples. Our story is no different. The things that drew us together still hold us together. Neither of us has any desire to change that.

Trying to discover how many married men watch porn is like the old joke about masturbation. The joke says, “95% of men admit to masturbating. The other 5% lie about it.” Men don’t like to admit they watch porn either. But even those of us in satisfying, committed relationships masturbate and watch porn.

One man told me about how he had watched porn at the office before going home, and then he masturbated. That evening his spouse wanted to have sex, and he hesitated. He had difficulty achieving an erection. She decided to perform oral sex on him, which in the past had helped him have a rigid erection. When she did so, she found some tissue stuck to his penis from his earlier masturbation.

My husband and I have been together for seven years and married for three. We have a 1-year-old daughter together.

It took me a long time to get into a relationship; I wanted to find someone I could get along with, but also in-laws I could get along with, because I grew up watching my parents fight about their parents all the time. When my husband and I first met, his family was very kind to me. In fact, his family and I often joke that I married him because his family was so awesome.

After I gave birth to our daughter, everything changed. I am suddenly being judged for not being a good mom, for not having a job, for not losing my pregnancy weight fast enough. My husband does not want to be stuck in the middle, and even though he’ll speak to his parents about this, nothing gets resolved, because he doesn’t push them for any kind of resolution. He basically tells them something they did wasn’t nice, they acknowledge it and sometimes apologize, and then they make more unnecessary comments.

My in-laws purchased a home for us after the birth of our baby. I realize now that this purchase came with a lot of strings attached. They want to see their granddaughter whenever it is convenient for them—not for us or when it’s best for our daughter. They don’t practice social distancing. When I bring this up to my husband, he tells me that we need to be accommodating to his parents because they purchased the home for us and we’d be considered ungrateful. I tell him that I’d be happy to move and rent if I would have more control over my life and my daughter’s. He says his parents would view this as a “slap in the face.”

As much as I love my husband, I feel like the relationship I have with my in-laws is making this marriage difficult, because at the end of the day, he’ll choose his parents’ feelings over mine.

I don’t want my daughter growing up to see us fighting about her grandparents, as I did with my parents. Many times I’ve found myself holding my tongue to keep the peace. I want to set clear boundaries with my in-laws but also have a great relationship with them.

Do you have any insight for me?

Anonymous
Toronto