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Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022-) Bites

S1E4. I bought a box of Depends so I could put up with the rest of the season. 13-Jun-2022
S1E1. The disease that made Hayden Christensen sink Darth Vader may have been borne from Star Wars speak not Hayden Christensen. The acting is horrible. The originals are the only ones that understood that nerdy language. The series recreates a legend whose ending has already been written but doesn't push it any further. To 2022? It's so corny I shit my pants backwards. 02-Jun-2022

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Cliche, Drama, Egotistical, Fantasy, No Chemistry, Over the Top, Overcooked, Sci-Fi, Silly, Timid, Tired, Wit Crack

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13-Jun-2022


Superman & Lois (2021-) WoofDowngrade

I smell a Lana & Lois season. They already found a way to have daddy Supe lapse into comas. Lana banned all Kent men from her lesbian daughter and herself. They are toxic. She would have banned her ex-husband too but he needs to pay her rent. Sometimes daddy Supe appears to be the same height as Lana. 10-Jun-2022
Jonathan didn't need to fashion a leather jacket and lace gloves to make us accept his coolness. A close up touch, a pre-alopecia treatment, a tattered t-shirt and some skinny jeans would have kept us onboard. Lois starves in both dimensions, Superman's crotch measures the same in every universe, Lana doesn't burst any bubbles in either, Lang's daughter pontificates lesbianism against a boy that fails in both dimensions. Old bitches are making it difficult for male heroes to survive. 07-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Amiable, Chemistry, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, Fantasy, Fun, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Nostalgic, Relationships, Sci-Fi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Sweet, Timid, Tired, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writ w/Possibilities

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10-Jun-2022


Stranger Things (2016 -) Full MoonDowngrade

If this were an enjoyable season I wouldn't have talked about their hair. The retro lab visit was every mythological idea the auteurs and their fan pages dreamed up during video chats. It met everywhere but the middle. Russian prison was an excuse to keep actors that can't stand each other apart. (But, the audience likes them together.) The prison chapter peaked when daddy shaved his hair. He won Best Hair. The extra stuff put me to sleep. Too much. 01-Jun-2022
S4E5. I was surprised how much I had forgotten and remembered. Old people don't have time to look back. There isn't much time. The hair is horrendous. A guaranteed 80's do is brushing it forwards, teasing it, spraying it and letting it go. Instant throwback art. El is a super dork with boy crushes, the token of leftwing communist bullying and delicate. She's a dehumanized weapon. Comicbook El would have found gifts of other strength to make her cope and conquer. Why would she become Carrie? Some of the characters were hard to bear. It zooms away from sense, piles for representation and exemplifies fandom exhaustion. The hair. Worst ever! 30-May-2022
PS: I spent most of the season wanting to comb everybody's messy hair. 08-Aug-2019
The magic dissipated in #3 but unity, bromance, and a pulverizing ending held it up. 06-Aug-2019
#2 gratified every sense with throb and tenderness. 29-Nov-2017
There can't be much to disconcert when with every dedication and homage you are dealt original cards with likeable imprinted players and a perplexing with soul reflexing game.

Wynona is unwavering in motherhood vs sanity as David Harbour is papa Bear strength. The kids are inherent, funny and affecting. Millie Bobbi Brown is tasked with conveyance of eye speak and she handles it beautifully.

Success is achieved through inspiration not impersonation. 29-Aug-2016

Tags: 2010s, Action, Beautiful, Classic, Comic Book, Conspiracy Theory, Cute, Daddy Squish, Decent FX, Director's Slice, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Good Acting, Horror, Overcooked, Sci-Fi, Special, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tedium, Tired, Touching, Twisty, Weird, Wig Crack, Writer's Peak

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01-Jun-2022


Love Island (2019-) Bites

Gays undercover have no idea how to deal with female toxicity. 06-Aug-2021
Gays undercover are still saving women. Men with sexual dysfunctions agreed to remain in their original coupling. Men think women are stupider than them because they believe everything they say. 30-Jul-2021
S3E9. The men are playing football, faking the women into doing behind the scenes porn in front of the team, their family and friends. Gay boys are undercover to make sure the rejected puppies don't get tackled. It's cheating but the show has an image to uphold. May the best cock, win! 26-Jul-2021

Tags: 2010s, Best In Horror, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Juvenile, Predictable, Reality, Repetitive, Sexist, Static, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Tired

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13-Apr-2022


Grammy Awards (2022) Whimper

Tevor Noah is no longer a comedian. He patched his tongue and made fun of Brady Bunch things. If a singer arrives in a rolls royce to deliver an "I don't care" message to an ex, she's a stalker. Gaga suffered from unflattering songs. The boys established an afro contest. Yum. Nobody ever burned my hair like that! Tevor Noah comes in second because he moans in accent. Bruno Mars wins the afro daddy contest. I'll massage his roots until he climaxes or I pull them all out. The rock n roll lesbian with Sharon Stone looks was awesome. Jon Batiste wins third. Yeah, I want to see if I can reach his afro before he cums. We must stop promoting people to be themselves because that might include "I want to slap you!" 03-Apr-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Award, Cancellation, Choices, Comedy, Entertainment, Hollywood, Insecurities, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Musical, Politics, Questionable, Tired

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03-Apr-2022


Superman & Lois (2021-) WoofDowngrade

A "special" episode of "Lois and Friends." Sarah canceled Jordan because he spent 15 minute intervals without her. She now can venture safely into lesbian land. Daddy Latino with a white boy name almost burned to death for cheating. Karma. Jonathan rocked biker gear. He might actually become "someone." Natalie chastised her father for forgetting her mother. Daddy succumbed by opening old wounds, bleeding and remembering a lost love again and again and again. 30-Mar-2022
Daddy Supe can hear an avalanche in Russia but not his son inhaling drugs or the locals plotting against him. The writers gifted the women "no responsibility" for the maladies of life. Lana's husband didn't cheat on her because she became a teeny bore, he did it because he felt like it. Jordan's girlfriend wasn't selling drugs to be a criminal, she wanted to look good for him. Lois' sister was married to a dancer, enough said. That lady with the pendant and the books, keeps on living. Why? Lana's daughter is having a hard time with her boyfriend Jonathan because she feels lesbiany. Sarah is super upset because daddy loaded all of his troubles on a barkeep and not the family. Jonathan's superpowers don't include a sixth sense of empathy. He's worried that he can't see through his curls. Mama recommends confiding in a friend to heal daddy's misconduct and her boyfriend's disinterest. How about the lesbian she was munching on all summer? Daughter is going to get over daddy cheating by cheating. LOL! Lois gets excused from everything. She lost her baby because men debilitated her not because she couldn't down solid foods. No one in the world deserves a free pass. It's either beautiful because we all chipped in or it's lousy because that's what happens when people chip in. 18-Mar-2022
Super. 16-Jun-2021
Lois sees a psychiatrist because she's allergic to meats, poultry, milk, eggs and bacon and she lives on a farm. The writers attempt to grab hearts with a refried miscarriage, making women swoon and men puke. Men don't cry over unfinished "things" or allow themselves to be defined by it for years. Puny woman. That's a dog's omelette. Fake Lex Luthor was a bust. How about a Martian Manhunter? Baby Supe is a ready-made Damien for "Omen: Oblivion." Prettier brother deserves better storylines before his hair falls out. If Superman is taller than everyone why does he only seem it in certain shots? Sometimes he teeters on his heels. 07-Jun-2021
My favorite part of the season is daddy breathing on son. 26-May-2021
I dipped in the CW DC waters before and I almost drowned. A loyalty to Superman waved me back. Tyler Hoechlin embodies the dutiful and conflicted alien come to earth to save the loathsome humans from themselves and to birth one or two with a lousy reporter. At least they're boys. Yay! Young boys get a storyline and maybe super powers! Awesome. We are not being ignored. I want to see all the deviant things we can come up with. Super orgasms would be a hilarious start. The sap is extra cum messing up our hair and it has the vibrations of a pusher but I liked the action and was happily surprised. I always wanted to see that. Superman is as boring as the person who recreates him. 25-Feb-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Amiable, Chemistry, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, Fantasy, Fun, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Nostalgic, Relationships, Sci-Fi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Sweet, Timid, Tired, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writ w/Possibilities

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30-Mar-2022


Is It Cake? (2022-) BitesEarly Exit

S1E1. Mikey Day actually sounds like that? I thought that was an SNL inflection. The refrain is killing me. The artistic aspect (cakes) are impressive but the format and its presentation are unforgivable. The reason the guest stars are not household names is because the majority of people don't want to hear them. I am leaving because I'm allergic to certain sounds and I don't eat cake. 23-Mar-2022

Tags: 2020s, Art, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Discomfort, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Fatigue, Game Show, Gay, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Tacky, Tedium, Tired, Trashy, Unfunny, Weird, Wig Crack, Writ For Short Attn Spans

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23-Mar-2022


Hawkeye (2021-) ArfDowngrade

S1E6. The land of absolute magic couldn't accomplish turning a brilliant D'Onofrio into the behemoth that he deserves to be. How much ass kicking and arrow shooting can we take? It was a lost moment to be brilliant and make a childhood comic-book fantasy come to life. 03-Jan-2022
S1E5. Jeremy Renner plays "that little bitch" in his own series. The female "kickass" trope is extremely tired and damaging, to all sexes. Bad Russian speak has returned and I'm starting not to give a fuck. The MCU has created a complicated mythological puzzle that future audiences won't tolerate because they didn't live through it and will be too stupid to piece together. 01-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Pitchy, Political, Preposterous, Showy, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Tired

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03-Jan-2022


Maid (2021-) Arf

S1E1. Confused mother abandons an angry husband that punches holes in the walls instead of punching them and has no history of physical violence. Oooooh. Scary. She runs with her daughter and gobbles up what the system has to offer. Her mate is a responsive Nick Robinson. Fuck her. 11-Oct-2021

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Cliche, Daddy Squish, Drama, Insulting, Relationships, Static, Timid, Tired, Words Spoke

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11-Oct-2021


Sex/Life (2021-) BitesEarly Exit

Tags: 2020s, Abuse, Accidental Watch, Camp, Daddy Squish, Early Exit, Hot Swatch, Manipulation, Preposterous, Sex, Tedium, Timid, Tired, Weird

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07-Jul-2021


Falcon And The Winter Soldier (2021-) WoofDowngradeArf

Preachers hijacked the writing room. Victim is the new black. A black super soldier spends the rest of his life watering plants with a twink by his side as punishment for having the bravery to be drugged and evolve the strength to save people. He could have been Captain America except for the cruel charisma of a wasp. America voted him out, jailed and erased him. So he said. If the show had commenced with this notion, we would have been spared some ineffectual rundowns and it would have smashed impact. Julia Louis Dreyfus pinched delightfully but had no time to heist. Why are Wakandans allowed to walk freely with spears? The superbad was Orphan Annie grown with a Party City mask, reminding parents that depriving children is best. Teaching is for school and parents. If we can show them how great we are without saying a word, we've won them over. Everything must be black (good) and white (bad) because we're too sensitive for grey (everyone). We all suck. 26-Apr-2021
An ode to superhero support that no one cared about. The task of the series is to make us care. The action zips, the storyline seems cohesive but the protagonists need to make us feel more than heroism. The story is zooming but the actors ain't riding it. 21-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Bad Acting, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Hot Swatch, Overcooked, Political, Relationships, Sap, Silly, Timid, Tired, Writ Basic, Writ For Short Attn Spans

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26-Apr-2021


Young Rock (2021-) No MoonsEarly Exit

The man has attention, revenge, fame, money, his family, more fame, more money and more power... The show's excuse is to promote Mr. Johnson as the next Republican leader in-charge by having him brag for 22 minutes. Does being a stereotype make him like everybody else? 23-Feb-2021

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Celebrity, Comedy, Discomfort, Early Exit, Egotistical, Fake, Insulting, Out of Place, Tired, Unfunny

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23-Feb-2021


Hamilton (2020) WhimperEarly Exit

Was Hamilton aware he was great? This is the fine food you throw up when you overindulge and never want to eat again. I spent most of the time being old and looking at crotches. I actually caught a few silhouettes. Whatever planet I'm from, please beam me up. I really wanted to like it. 22-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Musical, Political, Representing, Shrill Act, Silly, Timid, Tired, Weird, Writ Basic

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22-Jan-2021


Call Your Mother (2021-) Whimper

There is no reason to call her because she is the primary that needs parenting. Mother can make a dirty cheese muffin, attention grab the hell out of parental privilege and retract the independence from her children. A sexless black gay token is hired to fawn over white mama madness and the other is relegated to immobile chat calls as mama's bestie. The younglings have no idea how to create a spark and the son should have been gay. What's a crappy mother without a gay son? Boring. 21-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Cliche, Comedy, Cultural, Gay Swatch, Juvenile, Manipulation, No Chemistry, Out of Place, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Preachy, Predictable, Relationships, Repetitive, Silly, Star Watt, Static, Tired, Writ Basic

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21-Jan-2021


Love Island (2019-) Bites

S2E32. Women are no longer viable as sexual beings so I'm doing a gay male review. Johnny is the gorgeous god you play with but don't mess with. Carrington is the luscious top boy whose ass you have to taste. You're hooking up with Caleb even though your instincts are crushing you because his game is really really good and Calvin looks like the cousin that introduced me to naughty sex. 16-Oct-2020
Something's missing. Is it the "I kin kill a beah and cook it for ya" supervisor with capabilities accent or the females slightly squeakier version of it? Americans don't care. They rather complain about Cuties than judge the real culprit...themselves. There's "yeah, you're cute poor," "waving anatomy parts freely on a farm, dirt poor," "just fucking desperate and will fuck for a Walmart gift card piss ass poor." (Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you meant gif.) 20-Sep-2020
I love "Casa de Amor," wherein sexual workers extract the soul of a man through penile engrossment. 16-Sep-2020
The police sirens add amateur porn reality. 09-Sep-2020
The UK version redeemed its relevance. Horny younglings released from quarantine onto a desert mirage of true love. Fuck the boys and do not marry the girls. 08-Sep-2020
Finale. My manhood has been restored. I felt absolutely nothing. 13-Aug-2019
Toxic playpen wherein a woman's suffering and desperation is a man's empowerment. 01-Aug-2019

Tags: 2010s, Best In Horror, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Juvenile, Predictable, Reality, Repetitive, Sexist, Static, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Tired

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16-Oct-2020




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