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Love Island (2019-) Bites

Gays undercover have no idea how to deal with female toxicity. 06-Aug-2021
Gays undercover are still saving women. Men with sexual dysfunctions agreed to remain in their original coupling. Men think women are stupider than them because they believe everything they say. 30-Jul-2021
S3E9. The men are playing football, faking the women into doing behind the scenes porn in front of the team, their family and friends. Gay boys are undercover to make sure the rejected puppies don't get tackled. It's cheating but the show has an image to uphold. May the best cock, win! 26-Jul-2021

Tags: 2010s, Best In Horror, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Juvenile, Predictable, Reality, Repetitive, Sexist, Static, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Tired

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06-Aug-2021


90 Day Fiance (2014-) Howl

"The Boy" read the Russian incantation that turns him into a doll during his wedding ceremony. Mike seems to be the only cast member to have understood the irony of The Americans. Natalie freaked out about the fat fuck not marrying her like they were giving out Emmys for it. "Best Outburst By A Communist" in the reality TV genre. 28-Mar-2021
It no longer seems viable that the main purpose of the show is to celebrate interracial marriage. It's a business contract. Men who have trouble corralling local women have to go abroad to find a strong woman willing to give them what a man needs and able to fight to keep it true. More babies; more man freedom. Unfortunately for man, women are evolving all over the world and man has no time to ponder. They nag as much as the American bitches.

A woman with power fishes overseas because she needs to feel like a woman again by the crude affections of a foreign alpha with a penchant for America, sex, shackling, expensive gifts and more money. I don't think getting your head chopped off for an orgasm is worth it but... They all deserve each other.

(P.S. Did Julia call "The Boy" a doll? Awesome. He's turning.) 01-Mar-2021
Natalie and Mike's ferocious mother. Natalie turned into WandaVision for one night and it was glorious. Does her country allow her to be this independent and vocal? She was on a mission to get what she deserves. Mama came onboard to judge. Both women were hardheaded. Mama Ferocious smeared Rachel with butter and slapped her son with a tail and an elephant moniker. They were Avengers united in the quest to do what's best for Mike. Unload him/inherit him. Brava! Rachel won the day and our hearts. Has she? Madame Meow and her son. Meow forgot to check the other ten phones he's hiding at his girlfriend's house. He's setting her up and she is letting him. Why? It's dangerous to conceive that her actions are ok because she likes it. Andrew and Amira. Nasty, dude. Maybe what The Boy needs on the farm is a man. 26-Jan-2021

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Emasculating, Fatigue, From Another Planet, Good Acting, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Psychological, Relationships, Repetitive, Sap, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Social Media, Tacky, Tough, Travel, World

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28-Mar-2021


90 Day Fiance (2014-) Howl

If this season doesn't wrap soon, I'm going to end up with a Russian accent. 19-Jan-2021
Mike and Natalie. Ukrainian is being Green Acred. Yara and Jovi. Her claws are nails hammered into a man's jacket but not the man. He's not in it because he's weaving his own shit. Stephanie and Ryan. Madam Meow caught a bird in her nest. She can't play with him like she does cats. They don't sit still. It's cuddles and swipes. He pecks her hard though. When her condition of madness worsens, we are embarrassed for her. Andrew and Amira. Andrew thinks he bought himself a bargain basement Mulan housemaid and caretaker. "Bro, she even kills men for me." Rebecca and Zied. Zied swagged like he was in one of those videos he watched on Beta in his own country five years ago. Rebecca's daughter and boyfriend contributed great face in internally exposing mother's mental ill-being. Call a doctor.

Daughter of Rebecca. If you don't want anyone confusing the asshole for your brother, die the hair. 12-Jan-2021
Dude, I swear I saw "The Boy" move. Poor Julia is definitely going to be "family dinner." The parents want "Boy" and "girl" in "separate rooms." She's alone in "Hobbit World: Creepy Campers." Good luck child. I hope you have friends. Mike and Natalie. America has made Natalie's curls limp and soft. I don't think she's noticed. When she does Hank is going to have to rustle up some carrots for her by the barrel full. Hank, whatever you do, send her back, don't leave her here with us. Jovi and Yara. Clever wench bespoke relationship and dollar bill expectations, he refuted, melted, gave in for the action, apologized and upgraded the relationship. A doll she shall become. Stephanie and Ryan. Stephanie, when he isn't answering your calls and texts, he's fucking. If it's been weeks, he's fucking, shacked up, enjoying life and turning the watches you sent him into gold. What does she think he needs them for? They are a poor country struggling to eat. Time doesn't matter. On the bright side, she probably fed plenty of villages. Maybe Stephanie needs the pain to feel alive again but if she values money she shouldn't. Keep playing with your cat. Rebecca and Zied. The only ones I give the benefit of the doubt to. Maybe you need to go far out to meet far out because you're far out. 28-Dec-2020
When you don't warn loser children about the reality of their limitations they turn to other planets to find worth. I'd rather fuck a pasty American than die on a crumbling planet. Brandon and Julia. The town was almost figuring out Brandon's sexual preference until the parents intercepted and set him up with a Russian bride. Brandon is the man who posed for "The Boy" doll, whose parents corroborate the backstory and whose actions cause a chill. Mike and Natalie. Drunker Blake Shelton engaged to Gwen Moscowitz. She might make his 2 feel like a 10 but his brain is mush. I don't get it. The intensity of her curls scare me. Rebecca and Zied. She's one of those people the parents couldn't convey the truth to and he's one of the assholes who noticed. Jovi and Yara. A doll and a pop-up. 08-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Emasculating, Fatigue, From Another Planet, Good Acting, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Psychological, Relationships, Repetitive, Sap, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Social Media, Tacky, Tough, Travel, World

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19-Jan-2021


Saturday Night Live (2018-) No Moons

The Christmas episode with Kristen Wiig. Wiig graced us with her professionalism but the balls to her pong were deflated. Lorne, when you choose diversity over talent you get this. The worst cast imaginable. There are exceptions, Jost and Che always overcome the overly fussed jokes and even though he can't get it right Beck Bennet's squishiness is succulent. He stays for one more round until he can prove himself. Pete Davidson's infamy will always precede his comedy. None of Wiig's skits worked. She was out of practice and sadly written. Dua Lipa can't act but she can swing a mean hat. 20-Dec-2020
Matt revved it up, Rachel graced it, the steadies couldn't overcome it, the host is best I don't mention and Kanye shat all over it. His disdain for all art was evident. 30-Sep-2018

Tags: 2010s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comedy, Disappointment, Drama, Eye Gouge, Fatigue, History, Horror, Inappropriate, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Mean Spirited, Overcooked, Political, Preachy, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Tedium, Unfunny, Weird

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20-Dec-2020


Love Island (2019-) Bites

S2E32. Women are no longer viable as sexual beings so I'm doing a gay male review. Johnny is the gorgeous god you play with but don't mess with. Carrington is the luscious top boy whose ass you have to taste. You're hooking up with Caleb even though your instincts are crushing you because his game is really really good and Calvin looks like the cousin that introduced me to naughty sex. 16-Oct-2020
Something's missing. Is it the "I kin kill a beah and cook it for ya" supervisor with capabilities accent or the females slightly squeakier version of it? Americans don't care. They rather complain about Cuties than judge the real culprit...themselves. There's "yeah, you're cute poor," "waving anatomy parts freely on a farm, dirt poor," "just fucking desperate and will fuck for a Walmart gift card piss ass poor." (Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you meant gif.) 20-Sep-2020
I love "Casa de Amor," wherein sexual workers extract the soul of a man through penile engrossment. 16-Sep-2020
The police sirens add amateur porn reality. 09-Sep-2020
The UK version redeemed its relevance. Horny younglings released from quarantine onto a desert mirage of true love. Fuck the boys and do not marry the girls. 08-Sep-2020
Finale. My manhood has been restored. I felt absolutely nothing. 13-Aug-2019
Toxic playpen wherein a woman's suffering and desperation is a man's empowerment. 01-Aug-2019

Tags: 2010s, Best In Horror, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Juvenile, Predictable, Reality, Repetitive, Sexist, Static, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Tired

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16-Oct-2020


Camp Getaway (2020-) No MoonsEarly Exit

It needs a serial killer. 13-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Discomfort, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Grating, Insulting, Juvenile, Out of Place, Reality, Relationships, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Static, Tacky, Warbly

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13-May-2020


90 Day Fiance: The Other Way, Tell All (2019) Woof

The silences were as creepy as the perjury. The individuals allowed the worst to happen to them because they misconstrued social media's message of full acceptance. When danger is involved, you allow mental clarity to check in not ask it to make you blind. It was an unintentional Halloween special that intrigued and horrified with no special thought. We yelled at the screen but they didn't listen. Everyone knows that Cinderella marrying Shrek is bad. 21-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Abuse, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Cowboy, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Overcooked, Political, Predictable, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Repetitive, Romance, Safety, Sap, Scary, Sexist, Showy, Shrill Act, Silly, Suspense, Tacky, Talk, Travel, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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21-Oct-2019


Are You the One? (2018) Arf

They represent like their mama taught them and Terrence J. hangs skintight to the drama...oh and Ryan should have looked here for his antichrist. His name is Zak. 16-Nov-2018
They scare, they frustrate, we scream because we know the answers to their dilemmas. The bubble planet they live in is full of delusions and bad decisions which doesn't allow them to accept the truth (men hate.) It's the template for a horror slasher minus the death count. 08-Sep-2018

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Comedy, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Inappropriate, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Repetitive, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky

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16-Nov-2018


Watch What Happens Live: (2018)

Below Deck Med. Reunion
 Arf

Andy used the leftover sticks from The Americans to prod his guests but the staff was well-rehearsed. We learned never to bother the captain with "me too" crap (she doesn't care), Joao's act earmarks his cad card and the women aren't empowered enough to subsist past a man's speculation of them. 12-Sep-2018

Tags: 2010s, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Predictable, Romance, Sexist, Special, Talk, Weird, Wit Snit

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12-Sep-2018


Jersey Shore Family Vacation (2018-) WoofEarly Exit

Staged. 09-Jun-2018
They are celebrating the best time of their lives (the past) and allowing us to see that punishment (today) is the basis for that kind of sentiment (low standards.) 22-Apr-2018

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cliche, Comedy, Comic Book, Drama, Early Exit, Fantasy, Funny, Juvenile, Overcooked, Preachy, Real, Repetitive, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Unity, Weird, Wit Snit

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09-Jun-2018


60th Annual Grammy Awards (2018) Bites

Mostly sausage, no balls, limited art or female respect. The men sat egotistically, awaiting a handmaiden to bring them their drinks whilst the few women tried conveying empowerment. Ladies, when you get your power, remember these cowards because when a man stops speaking is when his voice is the loudest. 29-Jan-2018

Tags: 2010s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Cliche, Concert, Conspiracy Theory, Disappointment, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Inappropriate, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Manipulation, Musical, Overcooked, Preachy, Predictable, Repetitive, Sexist, Shrill Act, Tacky, Tedium, Weird

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29-Jan-2018


Jay Pharoah: Can I Be Me? (2015) Bites

Hell no. I don't like being served crayons and a coloring book menu with my comedy. 19-Dec-2017

Tags: 2010s, Bad Acting, Brutal, By the Numbers, Cliche, Comedy, Disappointment, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, Fatigue, Horror, Inappropriate, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Repetitive, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Stand-Up, Tacky, Unfunny

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19-Dec-2017