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TV Posts Tagged as 'Juvenile'

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Married At First Sight UK (2015-) Woof

Reunion. I was put off that Hades and his minions had ceased to judge then I realized that not all foreign reality shows are made in the cryptic depths of Australia. The black judge is either gay or giddy. Jordan thinks that his supremacism won't show if he romances the same black subject five years later. George escaped from the Arkham Asylum. No George, you cannot control this chick because you can't sexually satisfy her. Kwame has James Bond issues. The lesbians are happy with any kind of pussy, even if it doesn't eat dog food. Hey judges, gay men can marry sisters but they fuck men. The pronoun starts with cis. If the lesbians can get one with a bow tie we can get one lousy butch. They exist. They made us. The supremacist stopped the show by being supreme. He dumped a weighty issue by adopting a more politically correct one. Thou mustn't abuse the power called race. We're running away together, bitch! If you complain you'll sound like a racist because she's black! Instant GET OUT OF JAIL card. 16-Jun-2023

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Egotistical, Fun Acting, Funny, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Juvenile, Lifestyle, Pitchy, Predictable, Relationships, Romance, Silly, Tacky, Trashy, Writ Basic

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16-Jun-2023


Summer House (2017-) WhimperUpgradeArf

Carl's fit had him climbing uphill so we could admire his bulbous crotch. All the boys served morning bulge with Kyle supplying a little bit extra. Ciara was being a can't by flirting vociferously with that roommate's helium boyfriend. The helium boyfriend came to bed with his crotch in an elephant's trunk so Ciara could feel reciprocated. There is absolutely no reason for Paige to do any work when there are two strong black women in the room. Paige threw up when she found out that Craig was crying because he missed his mother's birthday. She cannot relate to non-toxicity. Carl didn't face his ex and put a kabash to the drama because then he might have had to smack Lindsay for putting him in that situation. Lindsay's idea of a good marriage is wrastling her alligator to the ground and keeping other vagina (meat) away from him. Chris' latest grooming trick is the Titanic wraparound. Slut. 15-May-2023
The episode reiterated that Carl is gifted with his hands. Carl's mother didn't show up because she is over fake things. That other roommate confirmed it. Danielle thinks that Spielberg is still holding auditions for West Side Story's Anita. She was part of a throuple but only wanted singularity... with Carl. The giant decided to put his hands on a more successful product and edged her out. She's devastated because she will never feel giant's knuckles again. He's putting his ring somewhere else. Is it customary to make the latin women serve white people at a proposal party? It might be if they're nuts. Trust me, it's good to keep them busy when they're coo coo. Lindsay pointed out that Ciara's red lipstick made her look like a frog. You mean like the Princess and the...? 09-May-2023
Carl asks Lindsay to be his co-dependent. Samantha joined the series to fuck. Danielle acts like she made a pinky pact with Carl. He won't marry until she's perused every man on earth. He was her back-up. Chris Leoni joined the show to see how many straight men he could turn. He's getting very close. Amanda, be well. 03-May-2023
Happy Birthday, Kyle. The giant sprayed his fumes on Lindsay and it almost knocked her out of bed. Lindsay choked on a cheeto, explaining why Carl thinks he has a big dick. Ciara found another reason to hate other women. Men. Danielle is in everyone's business because her boyfriend is busy with his own. The only way Danielle is ever going to spend more time with the chef is to work for him. She'll get first dibs at his carrot and mayonnaise dip before the staff gobbles it up. 04-Apr-2023
Dude, either the giant's hands are really getting smaller or his prosthetics fell off. 15-Mar-2023
Is dating Lindsay making the giant's hands smaller? 12-Mar-2023
Kyle had a right to voice his opinion about Carl and suffer for it, if need be. Kyle did not admit anything that Big Hands hadn't. People must suffer the consequences of their actions. The argument is solely among the men. Business has no friends. Danielle confused loyalty for reality. She spent most of the episode pissed off and snitching because she couldn't enforce how she feels to a man whose opinion matters because it is what it is. Amanda is looking 60s fresh and I'm admiring it. Chris made it Ricky Martin obvious that his bro date with Kyle meant more to him than ever seeing a chick again. The ladies have a "no ass fuck" rule. They should take the long out of term. 01-Mar-2023
I think Kyle's love handle winked at me. Mullet is a no no. Go Tarzan so I can pull it. Big hands is portraying why Ben Affleck looks miserable in public. 14-Feb-2023

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cliche, Fake, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Shrill Act, Tacky, Weird

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15-May-2023


Beef (2023-) WhimperEarly Exit

S1E2. I watched it once and it put me to sleep. I tried again and saw until E5 but it couldn't keep me in my seat. The actors didn't shake their co-starring status. The coincidences got silly. The reactions become predictable and repetitive. Rage is not specifically psychoanalyzed and character actualization is shallow. As I watched I thought, "who gives a fuck." In the end, I said "maybe I should go give a fuck somewhere else." 19-Apr-2023

Tags: 2020s, Cultural, Disappointment, Drama, Early Exit, Fatigue, Juvenile, Overcooked, Pitchy, Silly, Tedium, Unfunny, Writ Basic

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19-Apr-2023


Perfect Match (2023-) Arf

Something tells me that most of the men and half the women, would have found a perfect match had they cloned Francesca. Abbey decided to strip the thighmaster of his crown and knight him a dick. 02-Mar-2023
A questionable sex partner sort of dumped Francesca. Yippee! He did it so he could stay and torture the fuck out of the man inside her. In the last aired episode he shaved his body to look more like a bitch. A gorgeous virgin who promises sex only in marriage is mandating that a partner suffer poor sex for the rest of their lives. He's not a lover, he's your brother. 24-Feb-2023
They should give camera people a special award for rewarding viewers with juicy thigh shots. The party started as soon as the Thigh King twitched in his shorts. They were everywhere. I haven't caught up yet but I hope somebody dumps Francesca. All she's doing is trying on different dicks. Like they were dresses at a bargain basement store. That poor sad flat black boy. 22-Feb-2023

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fantasy, Fun Acting, Funny, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Over the Top, Relationships, Sex, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Wig Crack

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02-Mar-2023


Love Trip: Paris (2023-) Whimper

Wherein privileged American ladies travel abroad and are shocked that their toxic love speaks other languages. Mirko's storyline profiled him as a panty shredder. That was such a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles rip. 02-Mar-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comfort Food, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Funny, Gay Swatch, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Overcooked, Questionable, Relationships, Scary, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny

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02-Mar-2023


Heartbreak High  (2022) Arf

Varnished and re-imagined high school where everything gay is constantly celebrated and everything questionable is consoled. The younglings are obsessed with sex. They think that clutching their sexual identity helps them improve as people. It doesn't. It makes them egoistic and addicted. Darren dresses up as a french female prostitute because it enables his gayness to fly free. He's just a cunt who lashes out at his father for no reason and has disregard for what's really causing his misery, himself. Hooray for Cash for not wanting a free seat on the sexual compulsive train. Amerie is the main trainwreck looking for love where sex keeps appearing. Harper is the selfish beauty that treats her sexual tribulations and her friendships with more sex. Dusty's beauty defines him. Spencer is the only boy speaking a man's truth and getting punished for it. Malakai declares he's black. His black is lighter than mine and he has straight hair. I'm either Jamaican or maybe my mother is right and I'm white. He's cute though. In lesbian couples there is always one that is level headed and another who suffers from mental maladies. The principal reminds me of Karen Black after the African doll possessed her. Sex ed is a punishment for youths who already practice it more than the adults teach it. The pleasure of teenage suffering. 31-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Comedy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Lesbian, Lifestyle, Manipulation, Over the Top, Predictable, Silly, Stupid Funny, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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31-Jan-2023


Too Hot To Handle (2020-) Bites

Oh fuck. Monumental nudity not allowed. Boo! 18-Dec-2022
S4E3. The hornies are back. The series offered light nudity because they can and should. They served two pretty safe pipe extinguishers, one knockout but no monumentals. We're talking James and male ass here. He's the monumental that hasn't shown. 12-Dec-2022
Yo, call a doctor! The human race is hornier than we thought. It's not just us, its everybody! The children are fucked! 03-Jul-2021
No sex games, stripper parties or porn stars performing anatomy tricks. No Casa De Amor with an hour free of rules to tempt anyone. A lame exercise in controlling the libido does not a better date candidate make and I have no idea what point it's trying to make. (The winner takes home about $12.00 after taxes.) 19-Apr-2020
The norm is hornier than I thought. Love Island Castaways land on Mt. Celibacy and are tortured into going straight. The women are boob jocks and the men prance around blowing bro bubbles. The understanding is that what an independent woman wants, is a servant. It's not daring or tacky, not willing to titillate on a channel that permits it and not willing to locate a winning politic. "Tom Holland future" is an eerie panty shredder, women are still reaching for the biggest/complicated things, unruly racism is itching closer to our faces and Jesus left because he couldn't stand them. 18-Apr-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Egotistical, Fake, Horror, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, No Chemistry, Reality, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Weird

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18-Dec-2022


Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)  HowlDowngrade

When will men learn that women don't want to have kids with bald heads and hairy backs? It's off-putting, especially if they turn out to be girls. The only way to prove a gay steward a liar is to film it. Shouldn't the pronunciation of Mzi be Mitzy instead of Zee? The captain only popped out at opportune moments. Example: "the gay guy is going to call that nosey girl a bitch. Listen, wait, then pop out." I want to see the chef's eyes turn black when he's banging a chick. He has "You" type relationships with the boat, crew and that chief stew casserole. 17-Oct-2022
Deck Jason was belittled for confusing" being himself" with "honesty." 21-Sep-2022
The crew dressed like Guy Fieri and I didn't get it. Why the big boobs? A strange dick in a gay's mouth fixes his teeth but makes his job performance wonky. If a gay boy unzips in a woman's face it's not sexual harassment. If a strait man compliments a gay boy's ass it's an honor. Ex-new boyfriend of chief stew is worried that ex-new girlfriend is thinking of the chef's dick every time she sees him. He needs to helicopter in and remind her what a tasty dick looks like. The captain keeps seeing the same dirty spot after a few sips and not. Natalya snitched on her boss (not-twin) and stew Whoopsy. The captain called them pigs and Whoopsy exclaimed that Natalya had opened the fish market. What the hell is that? Is that a new gender? 12-Sep-2022
Lesbians in charge still can't incorporate a hot male crew member. Trust me, the sex jokes would be less offensive. Captain Sandy does not hit things when she has a few sips. A gay steward gets a tooth infection when there is no constant dick in his mouth. I can't tell those brunette stewards apart. If I were Captain Sandy I'd make one of them cut their hair. 15-Aug-2022

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Bad Acting, Brutal, Crapfun, Emasculating, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Political, Reality, Relationships, Showy, Shrill Act, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Basic, Writ w/Possibilities

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17-Oct-2022


She-Hulk (2022-) WoofDowngrade

I experienced it, like I did in childhood, watching Saturday Morning Cartoons for comfort, avoiding abuse and with eyes wide open. It's cheeky and fun with nothing in particular to say. For instance, wouldn't She-Hulk's vagina muscles crush a normal guy's dick or is it rubbery? Moments of pondering lost. Everything court is not "The Good Wife." Why does Wong only make contact with Jennifer when she's She-Hulk but green screened when the actress is present? I got a "The Good Wife" shiver. A great babysitter. 15-Sep-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action Fun, Camp, Crapfun, Director's Slice, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, From Another Planet, Fun, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Kool Effects, Nostalgic, Squish Alert, Sweet, Wit Snit

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15-Sep-2022


Never Have I Ever (2020-) BitesEarly Exit

I never will. Mindy Kalling of much success and little discernable talent. 15-Aug-2022

Tags: 2020s, Comedy, Drama, Early Exit, Insulting, Juvenile, Romance, Shrill Act, Silly, Static, Timid, Unfunny

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15-Aug-2022


Insiders (2021) Arf

Future homeless are secured in a glass house to compete in an experiment that has them auditioning to win money and fame. Nothing is what it seems. The actors are award winning, the contestants are frantic and the host is a delicacy. The cruelty is unbelievable. Reactions from participants are placed above their mental health. I questioned the point of the experiment. Did it want to show us how maladjusted all representation is? Are we all to blame for life's fallacies? They make you think, kill, fuck, fake, think, kill, cry, fuck, fake, rage. When emotions run high we get to see the kind of homeless they will become. The producers' fuckery is set to get inside our heads by inhabiting media stereotypes. Yo, I think it works. It's a Ring type thing. Once you watch it your cells start to die. But the host is so fabulous and I want to see more pocket daddy legs. Yeah, I'm fucked. 24-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Funny, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Over the Top, Pitchy, Preposterous, Psychological, Questionable, Reality, Revenge, Sex, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Twisty, Warbly, Weird, Wit Crack, World, Writ Tough

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24-May-2022


Ex On The Beach (2014-) BitesDowngrade

It's uncomfortable watching gay boys creeping on girls. A woman has no safety zones. We end up feeling sorry for her and hating him. My generation was very proud of its identification and it's preference. We had an unwritten contract. The point of being gay was to retire vagina. This generation confuses itself. It confuses me. It confuses everybody. 17-May-2022
S5E2. Love means having to say you're sorry, a lot. The only thing holding a black woman down is her cheating membrane of a boyfriend. Are ragers who splash people with drinkable liquids pool owners? This asshole wants to know. Bisexuals proved synonymous with hypocrisy. A gay preference disguised as an accident is no reason to fuck up a trans life. Trans needs a do over. We've already established that wet dog dos are out. A man pretending to be more than a bisexual is a pervert who fucks little children. 10-Apr-2022
S4E12. The only people stopping gays from advancing is other gays. Imagine if other gays didn't exist. How happy we'd all be. Adore's ex compared her smell to a llama. I was supposed to insert an inappropriate joke but since I'm not officially a comedian, I looked it up to be sure. They have no odor and you can make beans out of their poop. They're always lying down and won't crap in bed or on the bus. Ok. Why does the ex have the smell of a llama memorized? Does he fuck them? What a day old bagel. The mini bagel had a Superman ex try to sweep her off her feet and away from Joker except all she saw was Two-Face. Half of his face was gorgeous. The everything bagel got fucked when his bagel fell on the floor for more than five-seconds and three people tried to eat it. Just for fun, the lesbian is a toasted bagel with lox and extra cheese. 09-Apr-2022
S4E10. Wow, the guy with the fake piano teeth made it. How can you resist the "I'm going to break your heart and fuck your pussy" swag? The cis man considers LGBTQ the handmaidens of sex. Promise the alpha good sex and he'll treat you like a handmaiden. Is the lesbian legal? The black "everything bagel" jock will be exposing his dick like a trophy to babies in a future verse. If we're going to teach sex ed in schools we should commence with a speech on how everybody is going to cheat on your fucking ass because you will probably suck at sex or snore. 08-Apr-2022
S4E1. Chronicling the lives of loser exes on a frozen beach. The producers found men that would risk their straight asses for love. Transvestites, drag queens and lesbians unite. The lesbian is granted male toxicity status because her big dick is plastic. A white man got all Will Smith when he noticed his black compatriot with a piano keys mouth. He is going to slap the fakeness out of them. 06-Apr-2022

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Comedy, Emasculating, Fun Acting, Gay, Hilarious, Horror, Incomprehensible, Insecurities, Insulting, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Preposterous, Psychological, Representing, Romance, Sex, Stupid Funny, Trashy, Wig Crack

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17-May-2022


Summer House (2017-) WhimperUpgradeArf

The wedding. Kyle never looked lovelier. Andrea reminded the guests how much he needs a green card. Amanda's father was proud that his daughter chose a wide enough dress to store her husband's money. All the parents looked miserable. Lindsay fought the urge to buy a cat by asking Carl out. Carl kindly refused because he needed more time to feel shitty and sober. Carl named his giant hands "daddy." The only thing missing from Ciara's attitude was a belly button. 03-May-2022
Paige took me to a LOL brink by hosting a "tennis" inspired navy band slutwear fashion show. Where is a black person supposed to wear marching band navy slutwear to? She might dare wear it in the ghetto but she's not making it out alive to enjoy it. How presumptuous of Paige to think all black people know about tennis. Why, because two sisters once played it? Everybody's picking on Lindsay because she refuses to become a cat lady with regrets. She'll be forgetting about dick soon enough, let her savor some memories. She shouldn't be fucking so wildly after losing a child she never got to play with. WGAF. Lindsay should be able to change paths if she wants to. They all arrive to the same conclusion, death. Kyle has suffered enough male emasculation. He shook the table a little bit and everyone reacted like "the slap 2." Dude, Ciara poured wine and smashed glass on people! That was about something else. Really? Amanda's parents shoved their greedy asses into the prenup mess. In order for a feminist to succeed she needs her man's money. Her parents are scary. I'm surprised Kyle wasn't constantly farting through dinner. 19-Apr-2022
Yo! Lindsay got creamed for fucking multiple partners without being a parent. Ciara cannot forgive her for fucking her non-boyfriend. Bitch is lucky nobody made her clean up the broken glass. Raging with future alopecia is not helpful. Alex can only make one thing big and it's not his dick. Amanda does not want to sign a prenup that excludes her from fucking the nurse and taking all of Kyle's money. Andrea's huge dick can't guarantee him a green card. He needs to stop fake crying and fuck the shit out of Alex. Gays have power too and they clench real tight. 12-Apr-2022
Ciara took a page out of Will Smith's bio, broke glass and splashed red wine on her roommates. Some of them wore white! She was angry because her ex fucked the cat lady. Kyle did what the Oscars didn't dare and dragged her out. Karl realized that the road to happiness doesn't have to include his giant hands. He's going to have to use his dick too. Ken Doll asked for a prenup because he doesn't want his wife fucking the hot nurse and forgetting about his feeding tube. The only thing Andrea misses is not being a citizen of a country that accepts rampant sex. Paige's new boyfriend acts like a feeding tube. 05-Apr-2022
Reunion 2. The Hannah/Kyle dispute was tucked away. Kyle is the middle aged version of her fiancee and the man of her wet dreams. Carl's hands spoke and touched everyone. He did the giant thing and they swooned. Lindsay spoke like a man and got appreciation. Luke smashed Hannah's face in the jelly jar and brought down the fourth wall of reality TV. The host pretended minimally to scoop it up. "No. Really. It's not, we're not, I'm not, none of us are... fake. Really." 08-May-2021
Reunion. Hannah cried at every word rhyming with Luke and puked at every reference to Kyle. Kyle busted his rubber bands and walked out. Luke is still apologizing for being horny. Host did not offer Carl's giant hands their own seat or their own questions. 30-Apr-2021
I had a doll like Kyle once. He was blonde, four feet tall with rippling muscles, and a thong. He could pop rubber bands with his biceps. I had my seven foot black GI Joe fuck the shit out of him every day. My mother noticed the cum stains on Kyle and made him disappear. Something akin to how Hannah feels. She admired him in the toy store window when she was a tot but her mother wouldn't buy him for her. Shush, honey, that's only for boys. She can't get her hands on him. He's so disgustingly dominant for a little dick. I want him! No, I don't! Luke what? If I were Ciara I would have gotten Carl fucked up, up my dress and convulsing to his giant hands by now. Next morning. Car screeches away. Who was that? Carl. He had business to take care of. Really? Lindsay. Not being self-conscious of what she's doing makes her a really bad actress. Happy married with children! 23-Apr-2021
Stephen found out the hard way that there is no pleasing a woman. Dude, they're cocaine and we're weed. Wear them out. 05-Feb-2021

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cliche, Fake, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Shrill Act, Tacky, Weird

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03-May-2022


Love Island (2019-) Bites

Gays undercover have no idea how to deal with female toxicity. 06-Aug-2021
Gays undercover are still saving women. Men with sexual dysfunctions agreed to remain in their original coupling. Men think women are stupider than them because they believe everything they say. 30-Jul-2021
S3E9. The men are playing football, faking the women into doing behind the scenes porn in front of the team, their family and friends. Gay boys are undercover to make sure the rejected puppies don't get tackled. It's cheating but the show has an image to uphold. May the best cock, win! 26-Jul-2021

Tags: 2010s, Best In Horror, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Juvenile, Predictable, Reality, Repetitive, Sexist, Static, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Tired

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13-Apr-2022


Too Hot Too Handle: Latino (2021-) Arf

Latinos in heat. Charbroiled. 01-Nov-2021

Tags: Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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01-Nov-2021




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