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All Posts Tagged as 'Funny, Sort of'
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Soon to be married, a people pleaser decides to accept an invite from a mother-in-law that never was. Her ex-fiancee died and she moved on but his mother is still devastated. Mother thinks his ex-fiancee was the cause of his death. Ex-fiancee is in danger and they are making her diet! Tallulah embraced her part like Davis did in Baby Jane and blow-horned it to death. Stefanie Powers was spot-on and rocked great hair. The film is vindictive and cruel. I would have left the moment that maid answered the door. It's a sorta fun drip. 06-Jun-2024
The only Madame Web I know is from the Spider-Man animated series. She was an elder with psychic gifts who spiritually assisted Peter Parker. The comic book origins were tinkered with, pulled and redesigned into a television movie. There are about 2 minutes of Spider-women geared up and it's not enough. The ladies were solid but the story was squishy. New Spider-man is the only suited one which renders fights unfair since the girls have no powers. If they were trying for subtlety they should have hired an out of the box writer and director. The ladies sprinkled enough fairy dust for me to follow them but their destinies lead to shit. 14-May-2024
Oh. Emma ruined the word squishy for me. 08-Mar-2024
The whore of Frankenstein. The direction was stylish and the visuals were artistic but the script needed punching. The backstory was more interesting than the Frankenstein repeat. I wanted less of that. None of the actors clicked in the setting and Ruffalo's mumbly accent was troubling. TG he got naked. Emma Stone played the recovering retard like anyone would. She was okay but she didn't ignite the fire that would make men want to imprison her. Ramy's wedding pants were awful. I couldn't identify with a woman who is allowed a smooth awakening because she is trapped in a make believe world. She didn't know the value of a dollar, a meal, a man, rent, a closet, bordello gangbangs and logic. Stepping out on the town in lingerie would have been disastrous and mind altering in the real world. She is not a hero. She is like every other woman trapped in a setting that a man built. 08-Mar-2024
Transformers: Rise Of The Beast (2023) 
I did not invest in the toy as a baby but I recognized the maximals. A Galactus storyline without a shake-up but a re-do. Mr. Ramos didn't calculate a silly side that would make him empathetic and fun. He was too hot to be so serious. The bots are everything. Barbies can't function like bots unless they turn purple. Pete Davison was convincing and sorta funny as a typical black dude with gay bot tendencies.. 07-Jan-2024
Meticulous mommy and wimpy daddy rent an expensive vacation home with their zombie children in tow. The children are the AI we fear. Attached to tech unless the opportunity of live sex veers the boy's head but sister is less inclined. She's almost a full robot. The family receives a late visit from a father and daughter claiming to be in charge and staying the night because disaster seems to have struck the outside world. Mama Julia is suspicious and has every right to be. Unfortunately, the guest daughter's correctness in growling at Julia was justified because she observed Karen sensibilities. Their conclusion was one-sided. They should have both learned something. Black daddy appeared to have no purpose. The story could have survived without the father and daughter but then that poor boy wouldn't have anything to masturbate to. The boat scene chilled, the electric cars thrilled and Julia wrought much character identification. The husband was sympathetic to the new guests but later has an opportunity to save someone and doesn't. Is it because they spoke spanish? I would have liked to see more of the surviving community. The film is incomplete. 10-Dec-2023
Sometimes women gained power through marriage and success after divorce. The film contemplates how a woman can abuse her independence. The divorcee in question decides to travel to her hometown to buy the man that got away. The man that got away is married with children and ignorantly content. Divorcee befriends married lady, latches on to her husband and touts him to rule the world. The man's wife registers as a doormat who accepts all of the husband's excuses and waits. The children are sad. The film is slight, signaling the constant worry a woman suffers to obtain and hold on to family or a man that others want. 07-Dec-2023
Exactly what I didn't expect, in a place I wouldn't think of. 16-Nov-2023
It failed when the lead's true identity was revealed. Michael Keaton's Batman was a CGI hillbilly that bored us to death. We can't accept a punk rock Supergirl until we tire of blondes. Fortune will come as soon as the audience forgets who these fuckers were. 29-Sep-2023
Angelic training makes a wife susceptible to malice because they are mentally unstable. Legends of art accelerated the drama. The table turn was sweet and the film wasn't a horrible waste of time. 22-Jul-2023
A boy learns the word slut from his mother. An orphan teenager and her polio stricken sister are adopted by a single mom and her 7 children. All is good until it's tragically not. Based on fact, the story follows the boy next door with a crush on a teen dream that tears his world apart. The aunt's brood are the product of perversion and horror. The abuse was horrendous enough to make you pull your hair out. Some of the scenes are oxygen intolerant. The boys/men faired better than the girls/women. The boys interpreted it as a sport while the girls/women dreaded everything. Had the aunt had Piper Laurie chops I would have shat my pants. Safe and artless. Teen dream did not give us more than was written but she was effective. The film works because when a monster has the power to influence one person, the whole community will join in. How does a child get help with that kind of force? Heartbreaking. 17-Jul-2023
It predated classics that trumped it. It was a template for the future. It was also a piece of junk. It was a film full of ideas that had to bombastically announce them. Michael Myers lived in a multi-verse where Laurie Strode "is" his sister. He kidnaps her, a baby, rapes her in front of the child and recoils until he's horny again. Did she give birth to Michael Myers, Jr. from multi-verse Halloweens? There was a glimmer of Joker's "dance with the devil" choreography. It made babysitting a shitty job. The privileged are forced to hire child haters. The child was adorable even when being manhandled by all sorts of creepy adults. The house is where you want to film it, Susan George didn't need to act and everybody needed to tone it down. 04-Jul-2023
There's Something Wrong With The Children (2023) 
Mixed raced couples spend a weekend away with each other and their latino kids. Things go awry when they hit a cave on their hike with a luminous hole that only attracts the attention of children, even though it later states that adults can go in it too. The only thing that changes after the incident is that the kids stop being snarky and in charge. They turn robotic, obedient and deadly, sort of. The friends start accusing each of things real and induced by vagina magic. The men react off-key and don't have much of a bond. The women have a hypocritical relationship. Telling the truth only applies if they're drunk, tested or just can't stand each other. The mother blaming her friend for the death of her child rang. The children don't scare and revenge is unfulfilled. I thought putting a little sombrero and poncho on the siblings would not have necessarily scared us but it would've created iconic characters, like Freddy. The scariest things arise from stereotypes, not hate. 23-Jun-2023
If you left kernels at the bottom of the popcorn bucket, expecting the movie to pop them, it does not. The origin story is deprived of force because of its oversimplification. Only three members achieved not looking foolish in their embodiments. Chris Evans steals everything with his bad boy swag, partial nudity and up to your imagination charm. Michael Chiklis was turned to brick, his eyes the main conveyor and I felt him. Kerry Washington was brave to enact being blind and fucking a brick dick. Ion Gruffud was chosen from a dork photo line-up. Jessica Alba decided to go bronze skin with blonde hair which is irrelevant to who she's portraying. I always envisioned Sue Storm as a mature-minded leader. Every breath Alba shared, purred, "I'm sexy, are you going to marry me or what?" According to the film, Sue Storm has no reason to powerfully exist except to stop traffic, plea for love, get undressed and be invisible. She's no Barbara Bain. Julian Macmahon's Dr. Doom made my popcorn explode with a whimper. He acted like he was in a live comic book written by those Power Rangers people. He cheapened the film. The film is more excited about what effects can do than establishing a purpose for a character's existence. Action is in a rush to move on and be forgotten. Its enjoyable but "let's put it in the kids' dvd section, for now. 16-Jun-2023
It supplied easy answers to limit the ill effects of farfetched search tech. I almost quit but the lead's lit and the answer to the mystery was beckoning. The reveal surprises but it doesn't drag you to hell. (We could've handled that.) 25-May-2023
It would be exploitation if the rape weren't the catalyst to the main's empowerment. Woman alone stays in the country where blue collar men with too much work, time, ugly women and no manners abound. City girl is a writer who handles well, is lonely, trusting and helpless. Among the victimizers is a challenged man that is susceptible to gang mentality and betrayal. The rape had elements of realism and buffoonery. The men are cartoonish during it, pulling faces and acting like they've never fucked anything before. Maybe, it was to soften audience blow. Our lady was courageous on and off camera. The comeback is not as powerful because the violence was of the Kool-Aid variety. They cut the penis dismemerment scene! Boo. 4K adds the clarity that time fixed. Scenes sparkle with beauty and the protagonist is a Charlie's Angel vigilante. 16-May-2023
