Movies Posts Tagged as 'Funny, Sort of'
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Christmas Chronicles 2, The (2020)
An array of adorable elves get kidnapped by Mr. & Mrs. Claus to run toy factories, serve their masters and provide Christmas preciousness to their surroundings. When an elf breaks a rule it gets turned into a fat depressed British runt. Why? Santa stomps and hair flips like a daddy stealth bomber, mama Santa has Goldie specs and the children are as interesting as the beach they never go to. Everything is boisterous and pimped out. When the elves turn into Gremlins the cuteness subsides, the gas gets turned up high and Christmas burns down. 30-Nov-2020
Abrams: The Boy 2 (2020)
The doll has a name but it's still beyond comprehension. The tidbits where they played with the doll's expressions was a cute opportunity that was underutilized. Making it react to things in a split second that no one is sure to see might have been fun. Owain Yeoman is a daddy water marker. Never too busy for work, the center of the universe, incompetent and not understanding of the language his son and especially his mother talks. Katie Holmes' dug sharply to give mom the suffocation of not being able to save her child from trauma and the burden of spending a lifetime treating him for it. She can't overcome her own because the kid is always reminding her of it. He was a witness. The more obsessed her son gets with the doll, the icier her mothering becomes. I wish there were a scene where she pummels it to death but no such luck. The set-up was too set, the 30's mystery cues didn't work and the next one needs to scrub the story clean. 18-Nov-2020
We Have Always Live In The Castle (2018)
Freak sister with a penchant for magic spells lives high up on a castle with her debutante sibling who has been exonerated for poisoning the parents and a wheelchair bound uncle with mental health splits. The town (downstairs) has granted them human cancellation and have a mass crowd conniption whenever the youngest witch comes down to shop. The debutante is a 50's housewife cloned with a Stepford. They may be the same thing. I don't know. There is no emotional understanding for the characters' overreaction. A whole town, except two people, want to destroy the younglings and their handi-capped uncle. If the town were made up of Janes then maybe I can digest that, maybe. Everybody has a heart, right? Alexandria Dadderio fit perfectly into a suit that was too refined for the story. We never get to see why she's agoraphobic or a robot. Sebastian Stan is Halloween candy, playing a long lost cousin who kindly visits to fuck with them. (Like protests.) Taissa Farmiga was hired because she is accomplished at giving an out of place character its reason for living. She was one oomph away. I didn't get it. 23-Oct-2020
House That Jack Built, The (2018)
A psychologically misconstrued examination of a serial killer. If Lars had written a legible mental frame for Matt Dillon's psycho, the actor would have been highly praised. The script is basic, ignorant and fucked the space out. Von Trier lingers over every kill like it's a piece of art but all is brutal insanity. The length of the movie exhausts and the ending is an early exit regret. 12-Oct-2020
A journalist joins the sex trade in an effort to expose the leading traffickers in their country. She meanders, manipulates, swags, snitches and avoids having sex. The men are crime kings who grab it, beat it, sell it, crumple it up and dump it (usually underground.) The suspense is agonizing because the hurt is real and we can't do much about it. It's "Cuties" horrifyingly grown up. 07-Oct-2020
Children Of The Damned (1964)
Only 6 of the damned children remain. They are diverse from different countries and brought together as gifted anomalies. The union creates a force amongst the children and the question of their humanity is evoked by anyone with a thought. The little buggers have a message. They kill because we kill. Man's interference with earth is not a save but a control. The kids exist to create balance. The adorable, horrible, little blonde wigs were missed but not needed. (I was curious to see how the minority children looked in them.) I'm sure they made the right decision. The mothers are ferociously hateful to them for making them live in an inescapable cold world. The fathers don't exist. The film expands and is its own thing but the explanation for the mythology bummed me out. 06-Oct-2020
Midnight Special (2016)
A boy special enough to kill and protect. Michael Shannon, Joel Edgerton and Adam Driver are daddy courage serving ass whippings and child protection. Kirsten Dunst inhabits a mother's sacrifice without saying a word. Solid acting sustains the probability. Little boy holds back when he should and only releases to surprise us. The theory echoed and much of the discovery is amazing. There are things I don't biologically understand but the sci-fi thrills are enough to make you forget it. (The scenario I always dreamed of played out and it destroyed my functionality.) 20-Sep-2020
Trolls World Tour (2020)
Stomach ache candy and toxic individuality. It's B.C. and origin celebration that children can't apply to this generation. We descend from pods and no longer recognize individuality. You can try but the color will be swiped out of your candy. Its message is barbaric but its delight and bewitchery force us to "suck it." 13-Sep-2020
Star 80 (1983)
The tragedy of beauty versus beast. The purpose of beauty is to inspire us. If it touches you, you are beautiful in return. It's that perfect thing that exists like a God smack to the earth. The men want to devour it, the women prefer to absorb it and forget it but the younglings want to marry it at first sight. The sculptor who attempts to shape it, before full bloom, will burn his hands on the coffin he molds around it to keep it safe. A woman will always wake up. Beauty belongs to the world not encapsulated by a man who thinks he's just as beautiful because he licensed it. Fosse snips from Citizen Kane and gives it the hutzpah the classic lacked. Fosse's mastery is beauty, movement, thrill and dash. Eric Roberts gets inside our heads and makes us understand that hot greasy ass motherfucking psycho crooked legged cowboys with great hair have feelings. Fosse resoundingly echos him. Mariel Hemingway is neither thunder or lightning. She is a cloud of beauty that doesn't need announcement. Mariel's innocence allows the tragedy to happen and unfold. It has an ending Tarantino wouldn't touch and the original footage is brutal, salacious and true. Absolutely psycho. 12-Sep-2020
Lodge, The (2019)
Children despise daddy's new love interest who is the sole survivor of a cult massacre. Looking her up on social media exacerbates the outlook. They think she's psycho but is she? Holed up alone while uncaring daddy launches on one of those emergency work things, the family is left to fend for themselves on a lodge stuck in a wintery field. Each side strikes a match, extinguished by victimhood and set ablaze by director pullback. Little girl screams were uncomfortably realistic which is the point. Worship is a force of magic that creates what soothes the mind (salvation) and kills it (judgment.) The kids, the girlfriend and the house perceive spirituality differently. (Alicia was excellent as the tired wife.) 29-Aug-2020
Napoleon was so thirsty for power he siphoned it from women. Engaged to be married then dumped to marry someone else, Desiree is the woman whose might didn't impress him. Jean Simmons keeps us following but she doesn't grip the strength of the character until the end. Marlon Brando refused to depict the emperor as a short, hand in pocket, general bore. Brando concocts a Venom accent, swags in unforgiving outfits and mandates media attention. The film is beautiful with impeccable costumes, empirical sets and daddy galleries. Watching is as easy as hating social media. I was curious and enrapt but I had to search on Wiki what wasn't explained in the script. The bombast was great but who are these people? What I read was absolutely fucked up. I would have filmed that. 10-Aug-2020
Sea Fever (2019)
Marine Biology student with no social graces gets punished. She has to spend a week on a fishing boat with strangers and foreigners to soothe her mind of robotic intelligence.
Hermoine Corfield plays it clumsy and rough. She adapts to the idea that intelligence needs to be shared, as well as acquired to benefit anyone.
Connie Nielsen raises plenty of steam as a female captain at her wits end with a fucking husband who's constantly showing her up.
Olwen Fouere smashed the boat. Dougray Scott's macho fragility grants him exclusivity to daddy home care package status. Ardalan Esmaili is smart slippery daddy squish.
There are no heroes, the choices are sound, the parasite creeps and the subtlety of the menace illuminates the thought. Well done, Neasa Hardiman (director.) 01-Aug-2020
Color Of Space, The (2019)
Meteor lands on bubble family property and affects change. Nic is allowed full psycho mode but the word and the psychology betray him. One minute he's canoodling with the wife and the next he is lacerating his teenage daughter like there's a history of childhood molestation. There is no consistency of character. All sexual innuendos and racial discrepancies are applied to animals. Thank God. There is a glimmer of an invasion but it's mostly about the effect. Fuck that. I want to see aliens. 14-Jul-2020
Long lost uncle returns to crunch some balls. The first half is backwoods grit thriller but once the adventure ensues you are whisked away to a myth. Jamie Bell does solid work exhibiting his animal urges against obligation whilst the daddies gruff hard. I didn't understand little brother's gross ailment. 01-Jul-2020
Misunderstanding the mythology of the "pod people" and mishandling how to apply it to this generation. They twinkled it, legitimized it, repeated it and fudged it.
Social Media is our pod and we are its people.
It arrives from a dead planet. An alien-camouflaging organism that can only do so, temporarily with the environment. It needs a human to survive. I know, I know... make Mexicans immune! You want to scare us, don't you? 20-Jun-2020