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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Funny, Sort of'
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Natalie Portman's linebacker is not the gayest thing about the movie, a bodyless rock pining for another rock is. Are you kidding me? I want to see Thor's beautiful ass fucked by Zeus. 12-Sep-2022
Everything stale is reyclable. The desperation to depict a bygone era is unflattering but the actors revive tired stereotypes with charisma and star watt. Sandra Bullock is reserved and ditzy, Channing is too old to model but the right age to fuck and Daniel Radcliffe sucks. 14-Aug-2022
Doctor Strange In The Multiverse... (2022) 
Making the audience cum doesn't make it good. As soon as the last drip is swallowed, it's forgotten. "I fucked whom?" 23-Jul-2022
It depicts our shortcomings in a sanitized environment. There is no outside telling us we suck so we are in a safe space. It paced itself naturally as not to impose. The cast was pleasantly supportive. The writing pondered some truth but resolved most of it with prom com magic. My Fire Island experience was rated XXX for rampant sex, sissy violence and "fuck you" friends. Family Shmamily. 05-Jun-2022
The film needed a script doctor. The younglings have endured enough ugly world to be acting like babies. They turned Dr. Strange into a goofball with quips. They took away Spider-man's scathing witticisms and replaced them with awkward and cute. Electro is only as good as his paycheck and its effect. Sandman shook. Dock Ock was a fond memory. The boys came back, all grown up, giving us the feels. I wish Aunt May had not given a shit. She had no backbone. The younglings were greater than their material. They needed a drip of Willem Dafoe to stay great because they looked exhausted. Tech was brilliant comic book magic served on a flying carpet. 02-May-2022
No one should be interested in a man that has left their love waiting at the altar three times. It labels the neglected, a doormat. Robin Williams is the Professor that discovers Flubber. Flubber is a squishy jello substance that appears animal except when it's being materialized as a money making substance. No one dies when hit by a fastball, brains don't get smashed when hit by bowling balls. The film thinks it's funny to apply the same stitches to both. Death is the realistic word. Weebo is a sexy pitched robot that sparks jealousy. Robots and emotions are confusing. We are not of the experienced mind to buy it. Robin is the sad guy who gets left, not the ass clown with regrets. Williams' sweetness permeates, creativity enervates but the story has no gas. 20-Dec-2021
Scoob wasted little time visiting memory lane. Shaggy almost lost me when he ate the meat that Scooby dragged across the city's streets. Shaggy's voice doesn't crack enough. Scooby's diction has cleared up and he's become an Avenger. The visits from neighboring toons are a nice touch but are not properly integrated into the Scooby mythology. It's origins taught kids how to unmask the monsters in their lives and fight back. The movie missed that point. They sure were cute, though. 28-Nov-2021
True life tragedy about a genius cancelled after his time. Robert Downey and his perky butt were diligent about homework, the support were accomplished and the answers were illusive. Legends are obsolete without remembrance. 17-Oct-2021
Hot daddy pilot travels with wife and burdens to a hometown family funeral. People in town are "weird as fuck" for no apparent reason. Hot daddy crashes and lands at Loretta Devine's feet. Loretta is a preacher woman with Godspeak, henchmen and devil worship. Ms. Devine wins stripes for establishing a colorful character out of thin air. Omari Hardwick's gifts remained fully wrapped and there were no white people to scare us. 23-Sep-2021
It's a slow burn melodrama/disaster film. The legends emote, the daddies squish, twinx ponder and sluts can be redeemed if they stop kissing strange men and just marry them. Unlike the drama, the fifteen minutes of disaster are realistic and enlightening. 18-Sep-2021
I'm young enough to remember playing it but too old to retain character backstories. When the legends come to life it jogs the memory and its cool. The action brutalizes your senses and makes you feel guilty for releasing with it. The story and dialogue try to zap the fun out of it but the techies keep throwing water on it to keep the spark going. 09-Sep-2021
Infertile wife visits an edgy clinic that promises results. Pierce Brosnan is the mad doctor whose business is to entertain women's fantasies. He's handsome, sketchy, with warm hands and a little bland. A snapchat into his perversion only made him normal. Justin Theroux was the pretty butterfly in the room. Ilana Glazer was miscast. She is not the type of woman to conform to a sexy suburban lifestyle, least of all, have friends, especially with that hair. Ms. Glazer seems like a representative of more important things. It's a scientific Rosemary's Baby without the devil or the scare. 27-Jun-2021
Mother returns home after cosmetic surgery. She is burdened with twin boys, bandaged, tired, snarly and in need of recuperation. The boys are lonely and constantly interrupting her beauty rest which makes her upset and overreactive. The boys become convinced that the woman hiding under the bandages is not their mother. She's more violent than usual. The boys test her extensively and unbearably. They want to prove she's a fraud. "Misery" mayhem is top notch, direction has balls and the cast is deadly. 17-Jun-2021
Ten years have passed since her husband's death. The widow has moved on and is celebrating her engagement to a new beau when it's disrupted by an unnerving 10 year old who shows up and claims he is the spirit of her dead husband. His presence causes family uproar as they try to unmask a poverty-stricken child in love with Lady Nic that claims she shouldn't re-marry. The boy's unflinching demeanor is squirmy as Nic's is artistic. The director shot a continuous pan of Lady Nic giving beautiful stoic face but didn't clinch it with an ironic exclamation. He tried the same trick with the boy on the bench but the boy couldn't sit still. Lauren Bacall established herself. Danny Huston spoke for everyone as the jinxed and insecure groom who wanted to bash "returned husband's" brains out. Lady Nic doesn't unfurl until the end but it's strong. When Anne Heche blew up she exploded fantastically. If someone claims to be a lost loved one, you have to listen, even if it's ludicrous. 03-Jun-2021
City whites decide to move out of the city after their son's expensive shoes get scratched in the city. They are afforded an estate at a very low price that belonged to an ex prison crusader on a warpath with whomever moves in. Sharon Stone is onboard to bore us doing motherly stuff as an affordable VP. Daddy Quaid's anger doesn't generate enough sparks to make us care. Christopher Plummer was unrecognizable. Juliette Lewis made it ashore to tingle the plot and remind us Cape Fear did it better. Stephen Dorff was delicious smack as a bad boy affected by parental sexual freedom that you will eventually spit out and nothing more. Teen Kristen Stewart was at her best, hanging loose, upfront and appearing to hate only half the planet. The ending is as cruel as the wait. 16-May-2021
