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Wisps Posts Tagged as 'Myself'

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Yes, that's me. 05-Dec-2019
I've traversed the world
seen the good and most bad

I've succumbed to a century of sex
in a shorter period of time
efficient and like a rocket

I've eaten the best food
NY, Puerto Rico and Europe had to offer

I've been bad
but mostly good

I've been loved, enthralled and possessed
and I've repaid it

I've met an insurmountable amount of celebrities
and can complain of only one
Joan Rivers, Roy Scheider and Muhammad Ali are my tops

I've been considered beautiful, cute, adorable, hot, handsome and ugly
I've been fat, thin, buff and ripped
A twink and a daddy

Children and old people have understood me most
Only young adults understand me now

When I was beaten, I got up. When I beat them I knocked myself out
Violence was a coping inheritance
and a superpower best left untucked

I got to play Santa Claus in a musical
because I was the fattest kid in class

My family adored me as much as they resented me

I had so many friends I had to disconnect my phone
so I could think

I saw as many beautiful things
as I experienced sad

I was enrolled in genius classes for three semesters
until I couldn't take the harassment from my sister anymore
I learned to play dumb so they could drop me and they did

I went to a vocational art school in the city of Manhattan where gays were evident, respected and exalted
and I got my first jock crush

I received a scholarship to NYU for writing
I was the vice president of a film company
I planted a tree in Yoko Ono's home
I had success and money
with shame and poverty
I wielded power and didn't like myself

Being of mix color ensured racial confidence
I know how each side works
and the knowledge makes my head hurt

I've laughed more than I've cried

I've loved more than I've hated

and when asked which one of my countless experiences I would relive
I say
none...

all roads have lead me back to nowhere 05-Dec-2019

Tags: Myself

Permalink

05-Dec-2019


 

I wasn't built for human consumption. 05-Sep-2019

Tags: Myself

Permalink

05-Sep-2019


 

The more people love her, the greater my punishment. 31-Jul-2019

Tags: Abuse, Hypocrisy, Mental Health, Mother, Myself, Sons, Treatment

Permalink

31-Jul-2019


 

My mother claims that I was the most painful of her two births. She had to be restrained because the pain was so unbearable. She even tried jumping out the window. I guess the world didn't shimmer from in there either. 08-Jun-2019

Tags: Myself

Permalink

08-Jun-2019


 

The boy who defined my sex was a Jehovah's Witness and my cousin. I was his sex obedient from age 8 to 18 (when he bored of me.) He took my sex while I was asleep as I woke to a dry and cold orgasm.

I gave him a hickey the night before he wed his first 12 year old bride. When I came out to him at 16 he used the moment to remind me that I should never mention having sex with him and his brother (they were straight) and that he had a penchant for children. It was a chilling moment. Five wives under the age of 13, countless children, countless cover-ups from the family and the church and innumerate weddings that my cousins and I forced smiles for. I was a Jehovah's Witness too but I quit because they couldn't cohesively answer "why I couldn't celebrate my birthday."

The monster tired of his wives at the age of 18. The family joke was that they woke up. The reality was that he violently possessed them. He gained sympathy and property of his children and was regarded as a great father because the children seemed overly physically attached to him. He carried them around like monkeys. He was the only one allowed to touch them. The family celebrated every child marriage and birth like it was holy. He was a beloved violent boxer.

When I told my mother, she was flabbergasted. All boys do that. I snitched on the family. Bullshit! Get over it! Family first! Do not discuss this with your sister (the saint?)

My cousin was a teen heartthrob. The mothers gushed, the women flirted and the girls were overcome. He was a Puerto Rican with blue eyes, freckles and red hair that cascaded in the wind. What I saw was the guy from Mad Magazine with a diabolical edge. Women are funny. 06-Feb-2019

Tags: Abuse, Environment, Father, Gay, Machismo, MeToo, Myself, Parenting, Religion, Respect, Sacrifice, Sex, Superiority, Survival, Violence

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06-Feb-2019


 

I was an artist for 17 years. My art was regarded and recompensed with awards and scholarships. My mother thought that art was for faggots and adjoined with my sister to bully it out of me. My mother hated the idea so much she would have fucked Bill Maher just to annoy me.

When I was seventeen I made an anniversary painting for my 52 year old lover/daddy. He couldn't fake being impressed. I tossed the picture out and never drew again. I felt my mother and sister were right because they never kept evidence for me to dispute.

I could have been great or shit. I have no idea. 05-Feb-2019

Tags: Family, Mental Health, Myself

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05-Feb-2019


 

Tags: Myself

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18-Aug-2018


 

I always knew I'd end up observing the world through a window. I am a champion surviving inhumane transitions, putting a smile on it and bursting into a bubble. It's because I survived that I don't want it to touch me because it lost that right when it consistently harmed me. 08-Apr-2018

Tags: Myself, World

Permalink

08-Apr-2018


 

We spend all of our lives talking to ourselves. Sometimes I wish there were a switch. (The photo is the reality of what happens if we were to shut it off.) 29-Mar-2018

Tags: Life, Myself

Permalink

29-Mar-2018


 

I may post angry but I don't live it. 14-Mar-2018

Tags: Myself

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14-Mar-2018