All Posts Tagged as 'Wit Crack'
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It: Welcome To Derry (2025)

The babies don't step on cues and are willing to make their characters heart-born. I always resented Charlie Brown for cancelling adults but it should apply here. Every time the children were not present, the momentum faltered. The prequel suffers from grandiosity when it needed to be more intimate. It's how gradually works. It never starts better. Where were these military bastards in the future? I'm confused. Is anybody going to explain why dead boy proclaimed that It sleeps all day and feeds all night? I say, "then why is It terrorizing them during the day? Constantly!" The only acceptable answer is, "he was lying." If all doors to a fantasy are left open, it would create chaos. I suspend disbelief in order to enjoy the story but I can't tolerate the nonsensical. The prequel boggles the part of the imagination I would need to believe. TMI. 29-Nov-2025
Gilded Age, The (2022-)

Having Gladys marry a foreigner and sending her mother to save her was great. I hope Oscar redeems himself. I hope Marian doesn’t get engaged, ever. I never understood why they were calling the footman a Clock Twink until the last season. Good for him. Adding Rashad as a villain is right up her alley. She and Audra need to take it to the streets. I felt Aunt Gladys’ pain and how hilarious she was. Mr. Russell needs a makeover. They found the bullet that can strike through Bertha’s heart and it was impressive. I disliked Nathan Lane’s southern depiction from beginning to end. The accent was awful. 25-Aug-2025
Untamed (2025)

Living and working in a forest park makes people cranky. The human existence has adapted to nature by resolving problems like animals. All instincts and fits with little manners. The obsession with Caleb infected the writers as well as the characters. I wanted them to shut up about him too. He should have been used sparingly. It would have made the outcome emotional. The writers placed characters in dangerous situations and didn't allow them the tenacity to save themselves. Nobody yelled "stop the presses" we can't continue until this shit makes sense. The actors are what keeps the show lit. Eric Bana was cowboy perfection, Lilli Santiago brought likability to an overzealous feminist and Rosemary DeWitt pumped her heart in all the right places. It closes the doors to all of its storylines but didn't leave me shivering in the dark. 21-Jul-2025
Half A Mill
Unhinged MCU
Barbie Boys
Madeline Kahn
Fat Olympics
Flying Frontflip
Grandma vs Bear
Jason Dreams
Latte
MJ on Oprah
Racist Sword
Squid Game (2021) 

S3 brought back what was missing in the second season, clever games and family heartbreak. I gave up on the technical side because I know it won't add up and it would skew my opinion but they shot through our hearts in subtle and beautiful ways. The trans was heroic and sympathetic, the grandma broke our hearts and the lead was magnificent. That face. I finally understood his character, his pride and redemption. The extra game member seemed gimmicky but it worked because it got to the heart of the matter. Knives and keys was a gripping episode because of the surprises, heartbeats and bravery. The games were creative and scary as fuck. The asides halted the momentum and achieved little purpose but the detective was pretty as fuck. The actors were a crew and they showed it. It isn't better than the first but it's a fitting end. 04-Jul-2025
S2 is missing something. Impact. A feeling of exhaustion permeated and interrupted some of the proceedings. The games didn't rivet, the cast was stereotypically goofy, compassion was limited and sense started to drag. The ship shenanigans didn't have closure or purpose. I presume the save will be last minute in S3. Thinking you can overtake a heavily guarded facility is ludicrous. In life I doubt that a majority of people would choose to die. I wanted to see people go home. Why doesn't anyone hook up? A grab and a rub here and there wouldn't hurt. How do the men deal with morning wood? I'm losing empathy. 04-Jan-2025
If you can't afford happy things, you become bitter, if your are unable to provide, you become addicted and if you can't eat, you die. It's called poverty. A group of instinctual individuals are given the opportunity to have their financial struggles resolved. They have to play children's games that are only safe in rhythm but not rhyme. If you lose, you die. If you win, it's a lot. The characters are specific, writing is a brainstorm and the whole is an abundance of I've never seen anything like this before. 07-Oct-2021
S1E7. The VIPs were from Palm Springs. 05-Oct-2021
S1E4. I am petrified and addicted. 01-Oct-2021
I Kissed A Boy (2023-)

S2E3. Not a boy in sight. Everybody wants to be a girl except the trans. It's nice to include him but so far there seems no reason for him to be there. Why didn't they set him up with a bi-man that likes both? I hope things change in his favor. The gays keep playing roles instead of living a better life. The loss of sexual control is our downfall. It's hard to recognize much humanity amongst them because everything is about "me." Every time a couple kissed, I looked away. I'd rather peck a dog. 23-Jun-2025
S1E6. There are more pronouns than there are twinks. Ben was an acquired taste with monkey energy. Josh felt out of place cruising non-homosexual gays. Ollie would be hotter if he didn't hike up his pants like Fred Mertz. Fred Gwynne is a top! Somebody is breathing the life out of someone who hates cats for a visa. Painted nails on men reminds me of Frankenstein. 19-Jun-2024
Too Hot To Handle (Spain) (2025-)

S1E3. I can handle my native language but I couldn't understand the lingo so I English dubbed it with English cc. Somehow I got the full picture. Latinos are horny by nature and subtracting an "o" or "s" is not going to make it less so. Enrique Sanchez Ortiz was made at a sex doll factory with a missing something in between and I don't mean his anaconda. I fell over when I saw Sarah's hair. It was trying to best The Survivors' hair queen but was too messy to contend. Jose Buogo was so hot that I had to take a shower in order to cum thinking about him. That ass! That fake manliness! Luis photographs better than he looks but I'd still fuck him. Yeah, the new hottie is interesting to fuck at least once but tattoos on a girl's thigh makes them look dirty. Sanitation pick-up dirty. 17-Jun-2025
You (2018-2025)

Joe Rosenberg is little boys raised to woo a woman like only a fake prince could. Male awakenings are destructive and mentally detrimental. The premise simplified things to improve characterization. Good choice. A happy marriage to a foreign twat and reunited with a relinquished child, Joe is living the life of a planner, pioneer and romanticist. The wife has secrets and Joe has plenty of funny quips to unlock them. Joe's flubs were used to diminish his endurance as a famous serial killer. He was brushed off. Bringing people back from the dead, unless it's Ripley, Xena or Buffy is detrimental to reality. Women need an army to bring one man down. What a waste of taxpayer's money. Meet and greet with couple psycho could have been more casual, less criminal and more romantic. Ms Camp steals and saves a lot of her scenes because it took me a while to recognize her as another character and because I laughed when I found out. Pen went there and was brilliant. His breakdown was cathartic. The ladies reinforced that what restrains a man isn't himself but a notion. My finale would have consisted of him going Jason Vorhees on everybody without the mask, a bare chest, naked, weopanized and killing to the max. 10-May-2025
It gassed up, almost made it out of the parking lot, but got blindsided by a food truck. What is the commonality between the women Joe obsesses over? They are very different. At least now he can afford to buy more cages. 12-Mar-2023
S3E9. The dork talks to dead people, now? It's a lazy writing gimmick. Who's bankrolling the fancy cages? Why is the entrance to the cage not padlocked? How do people shit in that cage? Shouldn't they, at least, be wearing diapers? Why do all movie assholes like to be tied up? Greg Kinnear seems to be the only one that understood the assignment. 12-Mar-2023
I heard it gets better but the 2 new episodes I watched seemed like they ran out of gas at the CW parking lot. 12-Mar-2023
It's indifferent to the story. Joe is surrounded by people that are too cliche to make fun of. He is being uncharacteristic, it made me forget what his fetish is and he has no equal match. 19-Feb-2023
Psycho settles into suburban madness. The psychology is rewritten to fit a desperate suburbanite. Pretension is the clarification of ascension. Psychos don't have bouts of good feelings. If they do it's the reason they're killing. Silence as I listened to Penn Badgley make me laugh, hurl and cum. Respect to Victoria Pedretti's restraint as a frustrated woman. Shalita Grant filled her empty cup. Travis Van Winkle enshrined it. Dylan Arnold needed more daddy laps. Tati Gabrielle was feathery. Daddy Speedman needed Dylan Arnold to sit on his lap. The whole was to make a monkey out of me. I love that shit! 02-Nov-2021
Leave it to California ("the Hellmouth") to turn a serial into a romantic victim. The pyschology was bi-polar and the disentanglements were happenstance and charred. I'm not excited to see a third season. 31-Dec-2019
The thrill of the cum trampled by a kick in the balls. The delicacies of love entrenched by intrinsic mind bending. Badgley steals the crown structuring the depth of his humanity and indignation. 20-Apr-2019
Dementia 13 (1963)

The movie was a premonition. Coppola's ideals were established. Future Dracula and Godfather strokes manifested. The madness came from Corman? Heiress is dying and the family wants to win her favor in order to be named in her will. No one is more worried than the in-laws. An Axe Man is on a killing spree. An inspiration of masked serial killers to come. The most intriguing protagonist was cut short. Her hair was groovy. There were too many things going on that kept me unscrewed but I hung on to learn. 23-Apr-2025
Mid-Century Modern (2025)

My elder generation dedicated a lot of time fighting for stereotypes like this to be abolished. The new generation thinks this is an honor. Nathan Lane is camping for Broadway, not television. There isn't a lot of time to establish characterization. It's a fable about the almost departed, living together pretending everything is hunky dory when it's not. Lavin and Lane were misdirected, the black queen is a cliche best not spoken, the theme seems out of date but the ass/leg candy combo made me hungry. Nathan Lee deserved better than a Tootie redefinition and Bomer needs more nude scenes not extra stupidity. Dorothy would be insulted. Blanche would say "get out of here!," Sophia would say, "it stinks!" Rose would play dumb. Stan would convince them to turn trans mid-season for a money tree and a subscription to free cheesecake. 01-Apr-2025
Adolescence (2025)

Each episode was filmed in one continuous shot. I thought that would distract me from enjoying it. "Oh, shit, I missed out on what they're saying because I was too busy studying shots." There is a short adjustment period but it's worth it. The subject matters. Boys are lost in a world that wants to soften them whilst expecting heroic things. The only way a man can break a woman's power is to rage and destroy. The boy feels inadequate and his audience is judging him. The family are all about honor and doing the right thing. The dad had great reactions, the protagonist frustrated like a real child, I can watch black daddy cop run all day, the psychiatrist's facade crumbling was classic talent, it took me forever to find out what that last word meant and all the support was great. The chase didn't stumble, the cameras kept moving, actors knew their places, writing was thought provoking and it was realistically accurate. It was about adolescence and the adults who shape them. 27-Mar-2025
Moana 2 (2024)

Dwayne Johnson's voice calmed me down, Scherzinger can belt one out, the songs weren't Nickelodeon worthy, the adventure is inanity that applied no sense and didn't teach the kids anything. Why do we always look to the past to celebrate a culture? In reality they would have cooked Pua at the first celebratory feast. The spiritualization represented is not feasible. It's full of nonsensical magic and bullshit. Disney's animated films have become babysitters for children and nap time for adults. The film takes cinema out of the equation. 17-Mar-2025
Married At First Sight (2014-) 

Michelle enjoyed proving the pineapple was rotten a little too much. I could feel the joy jumping up and down inside her. He cheated with Madison because she asked him questions. If that were true he should have banged the shit out of Michelle for asking if he cheated over a 100 times. Liev Schreiber got screwed by trusting anyone besides himself. I'm surprised Karla didn't fuck the pineapple herself. I'm surprised her husband didn't fuck the pineapple himself as well. 12-Feb-2025
S8E14. Emem tried to make a statement that involved math and reading but he failed. 06-Feb-2025
S8E13. Liev Schreiber with Dustin Hoffman's voice was castigated for insinuating that he was assigned a hooker. As soon as he speaks I forget who the fuck she is, She didn't dispute the allegation either. Spooky eyes is relegated to inferior status and cat nip licks without reciprocation. She's a dog? It appears like Pineapple mixes with other fruit and sizzles like a cocktail. The Juan and Karla segments reminded me of old movies. He's a closeted gay thespian that was not aware he had to perform straight sex in order to get paid. "Oh fuck!" is written all over his face. Does Emem gain 130,000 dollars just for marrying Ikechi? Pastor wielding his power by agreeing with both parties and executing no arrests was shameful. PASTOR CAL: "Just have sex brother, trust me, it's primo shit. We had it tested!" Pia's gesture as a sex counselor was for the man to become a pussy while fucking the shit out of her. With what?! 29-Jan-2025
Can that husband just come out already? How many complaints can he file? Scared of pussy much? He might want to check his preference sheet more carefully. Pastor Cal represented audience sentiment but that fucker didn't budge much. The experiment would experience more happy endings if the contestants were provided constant therapy. 18-Jan-2025
Pia closed shop and failed. What part of being grossed out by a pineapple does the expert not understand? Her job was to separate them into safe spaces, not force her to be in an abusive relationship. It's abusive because Michelle can't stand being with him. Her approach was insulting to me and it was horrendous to women. 18-Dec-2024
S18 E9. I hope Pia got paid extra for doing all the work. There were instances where it felt dangerous for her to confront hostility and the sexual accusations from some of the contestants. Ikechi made it very clear that flirtations from females over 13 years old are offensive. Pia handled herself professionally but the space remained unsafe. Karla is overcome by Juan's beauty. He came on the show to pay for the rest of his plugs so his millionaire boyfriend can pull them. Dude, I'm afraid to ask these guys if they sew. It might be unanimous. I know for a fact that David doesn't sew or do much of anything. It's only a matter of time before he becomes a hut made out of jell-o. Michele needs to be released, a marching band following, David watching, everybody saluting as the whole staff gives him the middle finger. Allen gives me Dustin Hoffman/Liev Schreiber anxiety. Madison always looks like she'd rather be an avenue. I would dig Thomas harder if he didn't snarl so much. It's not a regular snarl either. He really looks angry and rapey. 18-Apr-2024
My Little Margie (1952 - 1955)

Ridiculousness is the charm that keeps you glued to seeing horrible people fail. The father thinks that by treating his adult daughter like a wife that she will outgrow her conniving ways. Yes, it's a Lucy wannabe. The daughter Margie is an unscrupulous Lucy in her 20s. The protagonist is adept at mimicking voices and throwing a punchline but she wasn't Lucy. The character is hard to like. It is structured as a last minute idea. Somebody wrote a porn script for fun, they couldn't meet a deadline so they repurposed it for television. Margie is everything the modern woman is blamed for. Woman domination is irrefutable. Single dad that looks great in shorts is raising an over-teen. He is so overwhelmed by her antics/lunacy that he employs his boss and "girlfriend" to sabotage her. The boss is especially inappropriate. Holy crap! They had a black elevator man that entered apartments and canoodled with the white folks in the building. He was allowed to touch them! He was funny. The old neighbor was a hoot dressing up in drag and joining forces with Margie to scam people. She was no Mrs. Trumbull. My favorites almost always involved hillbilly or Hindu disguises, etc. Romantic relationships never evolved. They acted and reacted like spouses and weren't ashamed. The lead actress worked hard and had perfect pitch but I wanted a slushie thrown in her face. I'm surprised it made it to classic but more amazed that it still stirs. 18-Jan-2025
Ultimatum, The (2024) 

I get anxious whenever I hear Sandy's voice. She sounds like a spoiled housewife with a lozenge stuck in her throat and her reasoning for everything is ludicrous. I was disappointed that the Lacheys did not comfort Nick for having strong feelings about Sandy's infidelity. She claims that her and JR only kissed twice but cameras beg to differ. There were make-out sessions with extra cuddles under the sheets with no wet willies or stiff underwoods guaranteed and the bedbugs elicited the moans the cameramen thought they heard. Madame Web has spun her web and entrapped two gullible and dependent men in it. She is no victim. She likes them because they are not superheroes but think they are. I'm surprised the Lacheys didn't suggest JR whip out his dick for Nick (not Lachey) to suck. They humiliated that man mercilessly. Sandy brings out the toxic in me. TG it's almost over. Everything JR says is nonsense. Big men don't pretend they're on Fantasy Island on Max, don't want to get married but can't shut up about wanting it and oozes hostility when the jig is up. Is Zaina buying JR's love or paying for her exit? I still dig Caleb. He's the only one who tried to stand up to reason. His mystery deepens. He exists in his own little planet of misfit toys crashing onto earth. He acts like an over-chilled teen that mommy Mariah is afraid to disappoint because he will rebel and she'll have to have sex post relationship. When the original couples reunited it turned into a "how was school today, honey?" type scenario. After cashing in all the vouchers the producers promised them, every person was enlightened, the fairy tale is real, men never get woodies while cuddling, that bitch was not crying over her dog or JR, women are consumed by victimhood, asshole parents make asshole children who want to make more asshole children, the producers made them say that because 4 people thought the show was shit and this has been a turned-off season. 13-Dec-2024
Zaina and J.R. came to play. Neither has regard for the other or anybody else. Sandy came to annoy her lover and fuck hot shit. J.R. disrespected every man when he barred his fake wife from consoling her desperate husband after finding out their intimacy went too far. Morality clauses state that all couples must break up before embarking in new matrimony. Nick came to lose it, get free psychotherapy and nerve pills. Caleb's mellow puts me in a trance and it's why I presume Mariah is well-spoken but blank. He turns them into robots. He's sexy until he starts re-programming you. He turned Aria into a Stepford. 4 people woke up and realized the madness of The Lacheys and abruptly departed like in the island of Dr. Moreau. Exactly how many other people did the Lacheys fuck to realize they belong together? After the contestants departed the show became insecure and gave us more of what we didn't want. J. R. and Sandy's horny gas lighting. I want to fuck them both and hand them over to Pazuzu for some lady cement and calf extensions. You bet I'd watch the porn tape, but make no mistakes these aren't marrying candidates. They want to get married so they can pretend to be happy whilst performing diabolical sexual acts on others. J.R. and Sandy deserve most unfeeling humans honors. Nick should have been given an ultimatum, to cruise establishments that cater to singles and find another match or the experiment is over for the whore. "J.R., please remove your dick from my future wife's face." 08-Dec-2024