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All Posts Tagged as 'Wit Crack'
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Two pretty young things are arrested for vagrancy and swimming naked on a journey to Hollywood. Judge Judy gives them a choice, work on an agricultural farm or go to prison. Bubbleheads decide to pick cotton. Cotton pickers are rare and farmers are using the prisoners to make a profit. The farm is run by a Red Superman that enforces more than he preaches. He unleashes killer dogs on pregnant teens, serves them dog food, dehydrates them, kills, terminates, rapes, blackmails and threatens. Yet, every night, after picking cotton all day and eating dog food, the all gender prisoners find a way to perform a rock n' roll number. Red Superman is secretly married to Judge Judy. Judge Judy's gorgeous son starts working on the farm and catches the eye of the younger sister. Gorgeous son becomes weary of commandment and investigates. Judge Judy is plastered with red dick. She knows nothing. The musical numbers scream immediate cancellation but the performers look so good pushing it. Mamie Van Doren was a sex gift that calypsoed. She worked her butt off entertaining the boys. Is it historically credible that only white people, hispanics and lesbians committed all the crimes? The lesbian was a pisser. Puff prison pulp fun. 20-Jun-2021
Broadway legend destroys many lives by extinguishing her commitment to a producer/lover. She's in love with a big nosed romantic, wants to change producers and to take risks in her career. Love has changed her. Angelina's so giddy that she makes amends with her nemesis and promises to return Brad to her. She plots a clean break but reality throws a curveball. The mare and the stallion have a violent showdown. He shoots her with accountability bullets, she kills him with rage and the crime scene shifts towards Jennifer. Rosalind Russell is a sharp wit, a cutthroat and a talent. She doesn't want to go to prison but can't allow an innocent person to take the blame. Her act within the act is marvelous and addictive. You follow her til the wrenching curtain call where her choices are bad for everyone but her luck remains the same. Sydney Greenstreet as Captain Danbury was a playful bear who appeared smarter than written. Theresa Harris expended tears and wit as a black assistant. Dan Tobin was gay significant. Claire Trevor looked like the type you leave. The movie had bitchy guts and a tight pussy. 19-Jun-2021
What are the lengths an untouched teen queen and a rebel rouser go to have sex without guilt? Get married? The parents are as excited of their proposal as invited homophobic family members are to go to a gay wedding. The movie/man obsesses whether they should have sex anyway since they're going to be together forever. The angst of a girl clinging to a specialty that means nothing to the man she's giving it to, is ridiculous. Just have it, already! Sex is just another addiction in life, like pooping. It was interesting to watch a baby Dean Stockwell preen like James Dean and Barbara Billingsley do the mama thing she does so well but the movie is about nothing. 13-Jun-2021
The world is coming to an end, no one can sleep and everyone is going nuts from sleep deprivation. Gina Rodriguez is a mother of two, whose daughter can sleep and a teenage son who can't. Everyone wants the daughter and prisoners want to fuck her son. Gina has tough girl stance and the motherly instinct to protect her babies. The reason for the power outage (technical and physical) is insufficient, some of the action sequences thrilled, the ending knocked but it also confounded. Its popcorn. Who cares? I love seeing Gina get mad. 11-Jun-2021
10 influencers are united in a snow piled chateau. The invite comes from a madman that wants to cancel them. The mystery's psychological reasoning is based on a demented individual's power grab to replace God and punish the unrighteous. But, they're so pretty and knowledgeable. Fabian smears his loveliness on the lens but is too uptight to relax and be cool. Daliah Lavi's exaggerated mane turned her into a cold stereotypical Hollywood starlet. Hugh O'Brian looked even better with his shirt off. Marianne Hoppe seemed hopped on something as the scared German maid. Was she supposed to be ridiculous? Gay old codgers know everything. It's a cheap attempt to intrigue us with outdated characters from a board game. 10-Jun-2021
It's asking a brat to enter the Marvel Universe and wreck it. It works. 02-Jun-2021
It was on my list for a lifetime but I never got to it. Daddy Doctor Rio is separated from his wife and kids because he doesn't want to die a passionless fuck. A fragile beauty with manic episodes invades his life and his choices. She is victimized by her husband, Richard Chamberlain, who was annoyingly pretty and agonizingly gay. Julie Christie was that thing you only find once. Her beauty was her art. George C. Scott roared obsession and determination. Shirley Knight whipped her hair back and forth and got slammed with cookies that she baked for George C. Scott by George C. Scott. The music pushes it, the elegance enchants it and the crew elaborates on it. 02-Jun-2021
The characters were overloaded with ache, the crime mystery was one coil after another, the actors wrung the shit out of drama but the whole was too "by the book" to matter. I'm old, I've seen this shit before. 31-May-2021
S1E3. It's not a dead horse crime investigation like I thought. Lone cop is overwhelmed by the demands of her town, her family and friends. It takes a stranger to make her realize that she's more than a badge. Guy Pearce is her release and her guilt. A teen has disappeared while another has died. Per the Hollywood bible, actresses must downplay beauty and uplift macho toxicity in their stride to assimilate toughness. Kate Winslet is a savior of intelligence not might. Her macho is uncomfortable because it doesn't feel genuine. The ferocity of a female always shines through. Let it. Aren't lady heroes supposed to bring balance? There are all types of lady cops in the world but Hollywood keeps choosing the profile of a lesbian that is not a lesbian. Evan Peters is adorable. The teens are realistic in a snot nosed kind of way. Jean Smart is my Endora. 29-May-2021
Tricky dick (James Mason) happily married to a lesbian sophisticate is tempted by the return of his tempestuous alpha lesbian lover. Barbara Stanwyck and Van Heflin have comaraderie and the camera loved Ava Gardner and Cyd Charisse but the crime caper is overdone. The cameos from Fred Mertz as an ironic sober bartender and the best female cocksucker in Hollywood under an assumed name, lend it Pokemon status. The girls were fabulous, the film was okay. 28-May-2021
Married At First Sight (2014-) 
Reunion 2. Haley & Jacob. Captain Rio was de feathered because Shrek dragons are heralded as heroes and roosters are unforgivable if they can't bring their chicks to climax. Daddy needs to go oink. We love the 80s and sitting on floppy dicks. Brown Robin. Dude, are you flirting with me? (see pic above.) I accept. Erik. Daddy was punished for being fatherly towards his daughter and not accepting that a girl her age needs to socialize with other boys. Wink, wink. Shlumber Party! The experts. Why didn't the ladies sit together? Woke hug moments missed. Wow. Dr. Pepper looked at Dr. Viv without contempt. Chris became a legal dispute. "We didn't know he was a schmuck. We got fooled just like everybody else. What are we experts? Good God." The children closed the show with a request to the viewers to treat them like the semi-gods they came on TV to be not like celebrities from Hollywood. Play-acting is real.
(Next season: cats! Dr Viv and hats! I'm on it.) 26-May-2021
(Next season: cats! Dr Viv and hats! I'm on it.) 26-May-2021
Virginia & Erik. The big bad wolf, little red riding hood and grandma guts joined the reunion. Daddy was very proud of his little girl gushing googles and acting all Romper Room. If Virginia were a drunk she would remember something offputting about her buddies instead she feels closer to them after their slumber parties. Good cheap wine. Feminism cancelled "whoredom the thought" but not the feeling. Sorry, can't teach her anything. Pajama party on! Is that red cup mine? (I see drunk vaginal exams in her future.) Clara & Ryan. Ryan is still a "pussy" virgin. He'd rather marry her again than fuck her. Poor Starfire. Briana & Vincent. They were cute. Vincent got me when he laughed at the horse clip thinking about what I said. Looks like a pork roast is in daddy's future. The boss is gone. Chris & Paige. Everybody hates Chris and the show will do what's legally possible to humiliate him. 19-May-2021
Some contestants remained homeless. Dr. Pep stared at Dr. Viv with the same dread as a cat. There is no cure for bossy. 13-May-2021
Contract negotiations are up and the married strangers have to decide if the extra money is worth faking it for another year. Brown Robin & Hillbilly Starfire. I have no idea what he's saying and somebody needs to check her pilot light. Briana & Vincent. I knew he hated her. He wants a wife that will keep him company, light his stove and cook some delicious pork, not a congressional candidate. Why did she make him apologize for having a sexual preference but she couldn't return the courtesy for being bossy? Bossy is not attractive or empowering. They cancel people for that. See Leah Michelle. If he needs to change, she needs to change or some pork bitch is gonna steal him. Oops. He had his vengeance. He fucked up her hair! Haley & Jacob. The production offered her a lot of money and she is homeless. The dinner found them wanting to smirk, giggle and compare how much each received in contract negotiations. They couldn't even fake it. Virginia & Erik. The individuals were asked scripted questions by their very stiff friends except for Erik's daughter. Her sleepover pal (wink, wink) cowboy'd up, gave her a nod and asked "how much we gettin'?" Father is bossy too but children need enforcement so they don't grow up bossy. 29-Apr-2021
Virginia & Erik. Daddy was astounded that his cheating wife doesn't like surprises. The cats. Dude, speak to Doctor Viviana. She knows how to secretly get rid of cats. Briana & Vincent. Squish squirmed when his wife admitted to thieving. Did he marry a thug? The horse. Latin men think that if they fall off a horse, the horse will try to fuck them. Haley & Jacob. Haley didn't care that she and her partner knew all the game answers about each other, she was still punishing him for being a bad fuck. When daddy Rio drank from the trophy cup I wanted to bear Haley's burden. Oy. Brown Robin and Hillbilly Starfire made it to the retreat. The secret to a rotund butt is to eat lots of chips with dip and never stick your dick in a vagina. 15-Apr-2021
I didn't expect much. There are no early signs of Lucyisms because Lucille wanted to convey a star. Washed up Hollywood connoisseur is lagging at the box office. An insignificant publicist arranges movie roles that she has to act out in real life. If she's playing a prisoner, she goes to jail, if she's a sexy maid that's what she becomes. It's difficult to see a buffoon handle physical comedy when a master stood beside him but that's what was expected of a female Hollywood star. High heeled and mute. Ms. Ball was caught in a silly comedy that limited her intelligence and expertise. The physical comedy was male oriented and she was relegated to wit only. It was a viewer audition film. When buffoon performs the "handy dandy cleaner" skit without assistance from the master I was mightily heartbroken. 26-May-2021
Escaped prisoner hitches with a dying scientist who wants to make it home so he can shrink people with his wife and change the world. The protagonist just wants to avenge the men who set him up and gain his daughter's respect. The escapees make it to the wife's cottage. A frightfully wonderful Rafaela Ottiano plays the faithful wife who has maintained his experiments and awaited his arrival. They want to shrink people so they can consume less and help the environment. It starts with dogs, jumps to lowly humans and precipitates into people you want canceled. Lionel Barrymore is top notch as the set-up guy lucking into revenge. The dolls have brilliant moments and shoddy ones. The dolls are a cameo to the story of a man that has to become a woman to safeguard his family and prove his innocence. 24-May-2021
The season was a grab bag. Instances are not as easily remembered as moments. The Season finale was a cumulative effort of insanely funny moments. Weekend Update stands atop the heap for generating the most laughs. Everyone had a turn to belt one out and they scored. A complete audience energized the atmosphere. The skits were sharp, edgy and cruel. For one night they were allowed to be themselves and make fun of us. Yes, we need fixing. SNL allows us to laugh at life's most angriest parts on Saturday so we can face them on Monday morning. 24-May-2021
Mad genius harvests wife until she gets it right. Ciaran Hinds does as he looks with no surprises. A better intro to Elizabeth's beginnings might have given the character depth because in the present, she's a dope. Carla Gugino wasted her brilliant cream and Matthew Beard creeped me out. The process of thinking is so wasteful. 14-May-2021
The only actors doing Wakandans right. 11-May-2021
Is it improper for me to say that I wish someone else would love Abishola? 31-Mar-2020
The leads do not align, Bob's family grates and reverse hate is not progressive. 08-Nov-2019
Exploring multi-cultural attitudes to life problems is interesting. The black characters sparkle but their counterparts appear like unwanted houseguests. I'm sure good writing can fix that. (I liked it.) 25-Sep-2019
