TV Posts Tagged as 'Wit Crack'
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Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022-)

S1E4. I bought a box of Depends so I could put up with the rest of the season. 13-Jun-2022
S1E1. The disease that made Hayden Christensen sink Darth Vader may have been borne from Star Wars speak not Hayden Christensen. The acting is horrible. The originals are the only ones that understood that nerdy language. The series recreates a legend whose ending has already been written but doesn't push it any further. To 2022? It's so corny I shit my pants backwards. 02-Jun-2022
SuperNature (2022)

Gervais has finally gone too far. He makes fun of cats. LOL! 26-May-2022
Insiders (2021)

Future homeless are secured in a glass house to compete in an experiment that has them auditioning to win money and fame. Nothing is what it seems. The actors are award winning, the contestants are frantic and the host is a delicacy. The cruelty is unbelievable. Reactions from participants are placed above their mental health. I questioned the point of the experiment. Did it want to show us how maladjusted all representation is? Are we all to blame for life's fallacies? They make you think, kill, fuck, fake, think, kill, cry, fuck, fake, rage. When emotions run high we get to see the kind of homeless they will become. The producers' fuckery is set to get inside our heads by inhabiting media stereotypes. Yo, I think it works. It's a Ring type thing. Once you watch it your cells start to die. But the host is so fabulous and I want to see more pocket daddy legs. Yeah, I'm fucked. 24-May-2022
Summer House Reunion (2022)

Congratulations Kyle, you married a lizard. Daddy emcee was only drunk enough to drop an intern's child on their face. Kyle was done up pretty but he didn't move much for fear of smudging it. A girl outed Carl's ginormous penis. Girls, 7 inches is the size gay babies train on. There are bigger things out there. Andrea found a dummy to trade his dick in for a green card. Ciara doesn't need to apologize for violent acts because she is black and a white person enslaved her great, great, great, great grandparents in a galaxy far far away, a long long fucking time ago. Danielle became a racist after an enraged black woman attacked her. Alex thought his dick grew an inch when he insulted a man for his lack of look. Ha! 10-May-2022
Ozark (2017-2022) 


Oh no! I'm fucked! 10-May-2022
I got it as soon as my sister uttered the words. "They got used to it." 08-May-2022
Wendy Byrde burst out. A mother of common sense, female liberation and purpose. A woman fighting against her vagina to bring herself to orgasm. 08-May-2022
Only an asshole named Marty Byrde or Jason Bateman can ruin Rhoda Mogenstern's career. 08-May-2022
James Cameron didn't bother because a lake is not an ocean. 08-May-2022
DePalma would have lovingly dumped them. 08-May-2022
Hitchcock would have killed them. 08-May-2022
Spielberg would have pulled their hearts out. 08-May-2022
Nolan would have ended smiles and piled up the exposition. 08-May-2022
Tarantino would have ended it with a Batdance. 08-May-2022
Larry David would have killed them all and laughed. 08-May-2022
The resolution to "out of nothingness" is to become rich. Superiority is applied when survival is imminent. Destruction of non-family matters are predetermined. Pretend as we may, the biggest construct our parents ever created is us. 08-May-2022
S3E4. The Mexican cartel is insecure about everything. Jason Bateman became America's sweetest sarcasm when he laundered Rhoda Morgenstern's second career. Laura Linney was born to fuck and resent the men that make her life miserable. Janet McTeer took a Jane Lynch role and turned it into art. Ruth is my favorite person in the whole wide world. I want to talk like her but society would deem it appropriation, so I will only speak "her" when I'm alone. MicKinley Belcher the 3rd needs to come back and fuck something. I love "fuck you" shows. 27-Jan-2022
Moon Knight (2022-) 


Papi would have made me happy doing Shakespeare in tights for all 6 episodes. He broke out of his shell and became a thespian. The imagination was resplendent, the actualization fulfilled its standards but the ending was looney. 07-May-2022
Egyptian gods and cumming every time papi speaks British. 24-Apr-2022
The second episode provided a thrill I thought it was incapable of. Papi Isaac is in my blood stream and I'm addicted to his drip. The story is an absorbing mythology that reads likes a good book. No one is showing off. It's funny and magical. Everyone is thinking. Two papi Isaacs is just one more sweet ass to squish. Anna Delvey needs to work herself into one of those mirrors. I'm digging it. 08-Apr-2022
All it proves is that papi Isaac can play Anna Delvey. 01-Apr-2022
Ultimatum, The (2022) 


Reunion. How did Nick Lachey get so pink? He looks like fried pork. I love fried pork. Sweet and sour and a dash of soy sauce. Yum. Vanessa disguises her witchcraft well. I'm almost beguiled. I get it. He's almost to the point where he doesn't remember Marvel movies. Take all his money and drop out of the hemisphere. Pregnancies are the pathway to a cheating man's heart. "He aint fucking no raptor in lingerie. No Way!" Why do bisexuals keep sneaking around? It's 2022. Are they perverts? Someone came out as a lesbian and I guessed it because the curls in her hair stopped bouncing. I knew there was something askew. Beautiful giants need to stop raging on women that record them doing what giants were born to do. It's not a giant's fault that women aren't with it. Lesbians need to stop pretending they like small cocks on giant men. Braids on a man never looked more Groot. Pretty other thing got criticized on national TV for not keeping his mate from going full lesbian. Dude, that's rough. He's so pretty. Love is the easiest thing to replace, just close your eyes...and wish it bigger. Gigolos will appear with free tickets to nowhere. 16-Apr-2022
S1E1. The quickest way to get your partner to acquiesce to children and marriage is to dump them. Works every time. They don't need to go on a stupid reality show. Isn't that what the Lacheys stated at the beginning of the show? 11-Apr-2022
Saturday Night Live (2021) 

Jake Gyllenhaall's youth is being vanquished by the accumulation of dirt that is highlighting his age. Kate McKinnon is the raptor of comedy. It's scary she's still there but even more annoying she endures. 11-Apr-2022
S47E5. James Austin Young electrified with a pitch perfect and hilarious impersonation of a man we dare not mention. 07-Nov-2021
S47E4. Jason Sudeikis brought fat dick energy to the proceedings. Hilarious. 24-Oct-2021
The season was a grab bag. Instances are not as easily remembered as moments. The Season finale was a cumulative effort of insanely funny moments. Weekend Update stands atop the heap for generating the most laughs. Everyone had a turn to belt one out and they scored. A complete audience energized the atmosphere. The skits were sharp, edgy and cruel. For one night they were allowed to be themselves and make fun of us. Yes, we need fixing. SNL allows us to laugh at life's most angriest parts on Saturday so we can face them on Monday morning. 24-May-2021
Bridgerton (2020-) 


Season Two was as beautiful as one of Lord Bridgerton's ass muscles. Queen Charlotte. Lady Danbury. Lady Bridgerton. Lady Portia. Eloise. Pen. Wigs. Costumes. Romance. Moooah. 30-Mar-2022
S1E8. A woman wraps up the marriage contract when she can birth a good shank to serve the round table. Men like ideals in women's heads so that our explanations make sense to them. It was brotime, sweetie! They took the cultures out of the equation. We judge them individually. Every actor willed good force. It was fun, it was camp, it was time and we're in it. The ending was delicious and I'm trading the duke in for the boxer. The duke has an "I'm so pretty" snarl. The other looks like my camper. Good job. 28-Dec-2020
S1E7. Mid-thru is an explanation of how black culture became elite. I bought it. The series needs more scandal and debauchery though. I'm replacing yes, daddy with yes, duke. 27-Dec-2020
S1E2. Not necessarily the show I want to binge on after mother telling me my black is white but it's Shonda so I'll give it a go. The shock of seeing black empowered gentleman and ladies of the pre-Victorian era makes my brain explode with fact check assumptions. I don't because I want to accept it on its own merit. Most of the cast whistles, foams and pours whilst the rest couldn't get out of their modern heads. The business at hand is to score the most pristine and delicate virgin hopefully with fine manners (a "yes girl") to fulfill a man's dream of future family and success. A woman's power is to profit from the business, band and thwart any mismatch that might bring a daughter harm and make sons proud. Shonda adds her sight of man appreciation, Shondaspeare fast talk and on your knees intrigue. I remember Nicola Coughlan because I wanted to eat her like she ate that cake. She's delicious. The picture for myself didn't get any clearer because I'm watching black people pretending to live whites lives. It makes the future modern brain wonder what the hate was all about. 26-Dec-2020
I've Got A Secret (1952-1967)

You know you are hooked on greatness when the picture looks crappy but the content is gold. 23-Mar-2022
Super Password (1984-2014) 


Season One. The season ended as soon as a new vibe was being created. Bert Convy never had a guest star that could surpass him. They were fading stars biding their time until the next best thing. Betty White was a legend never too large for the little people. A trooper of respect and salacious charm, she seemed confused by the new rules. It wasn't her best. I understand. I have a list of horrible words I never want to hear either. The players learned to cheat their way out of complicated puzzles by rhyming. Arf! I can listen to dings, buzzers and RPG town music all day. Bert Convy made us care as soon as he dropped his pretty boy facade and embraced his dirty boy bitch. I will miss you, my afro queen. 13-Mar-2022
The birth of the RPG musical score. 11-Mar-2022
At 14, I entered a beauty salon and asked the stylist to give me an afro like Bert Convy. They took me to an "out of the way" room where special lights constantly fried my hair. Twenty minutes later... with a whiff of matches and dreams of electrocutions, a dingy staff returned to inform me that my afro was done. No warnings. No stylings. They gifted me a pick to take home and train my hair to kink. I did not know burning hair was necessary for "the perfect appropriation." I felt my scalp shrinking. WTF. It precipitated baldness. My fro did not end up "hot," it was very Buckwheat. I preferred being in-between like Bert Convy. Another dream ruined by too much culture mis-awareness. 08-Mar-2022
Nobody game-showed Hamlet like Bert Convy. The whitest host to sport an afro becomes addictive. I must have been "living life" during this era. I remember none of this. The clues are atrocious and the game is fucking difficult. WTF. I don't understand them. Yo, but check out the afro on that white host. He's so cute. 06-Mar-2022
Euphoria (2019-)

The music represents the burden of being a child and the parent who never considers it. Younglings fight pain by listening to adults in pain without it causing distress or an ironic thought. Specified music with taste and glory. 12-Mar-2022
The creator drops his characters into a hole where the act of falling stops when they reach up. The actors succumbed and conquered. Z broke my heart. The writing spun out of control because that is the consequence of addiction. It pounds us with fists throughout then pummels us with pillows at the end. The season finale was a bitter "Glee" spectacle. 12-Mar-2022
Misfits are created when the understanding of being born is confounding.
Each episode incorporated a distinct flavor that elevated character development and story arc. The whole is a buoyant and succulent melange.
The writing was sharply on edge, the directors' wings were boundless and the actors (especially Z) rose to every unforgiving task.
Z's parade at finale was unexpected, deserved, joyous and brilliant. The music speaks. 01-Sep-2019
The carnival episode was a modern Hitchcock delirious delight. Zen's etch of a drug addict cuts deep. 31-Aug-2019
Etching a recognizable world and stripping Zendaya of Disney cuteness. Feels like home. 28-Aug-2019
Password Plus (1979-)

S1E51. Greg Morris was the black celebrity guest. Two of the clues were "mammy" and "watermelon." "Pansy" was extra. I was wrong. Morris did not remain silent and a funny discussion of awareness was provoked. 03-Mar-2022
Betty White's husband was saucy and inappropriate. She was too. I always thought that Betty's true feelings appeared when she was acting vindictive. Is that why Dorothy hated her? The perfect couple appeared cold onscreen and very Happy Homemaker. I'm sure surviving him compelled her to be the nicest talented cunt in Hollywood. Mooooah! Elizabeth Montgomery was a smart witch, Tony Randall knew it all. Barf. The men kept undermining Elaine Joyce because she was vibrant, sexy and genius. Betty White was always bright. She was auditioning and providing for her future self. The best thing about the game is that if you don't look at the screen, you can play along and find out how dumb you are. Showing how brilliant they were was a badge of achievement in the further representation of a celebrity brand. The first man to win was black, the second best timer was a lesbian, the only thing beating a lesbian is a future lesbian with a husband and a smelly salesman is the only one that can change that. "Mammy" and "blackface" were never produced as clues when the contestants were black. That was respectful. There were gays and porn stars but they only played for attention. Loved it! 22-Feb-2022
Michael Landon: The Father I knew (1999)

They asked a 6'3" player to act like a 5'9" giant dipper. Only women can feel the difference. Boy dreams of his celebrity father becoming a hero at home instead of inserting more strangers into his life. Celebrity boy rebels against father after daddy divorces the family for fresh "baby smell" poultry. The first time I witnessed a race to grandpa's lap crotch was the last time I blinked during any of the games. No offense Little Landon, but if you inherited his crotch, you'll be fine. 27-Feb-2022
Pam & Tommy (2022)

Bad karma comes for a goddess sexually devoured by a demon. Tommy Lee was gifted with hand coordination, skinny genes, okay face, crazy hair, insecurity tattoos and a large dick. He's drying out and she's washing ashore. Little daddy has dickish ways that compels people to put him on a "do not disturb" list. Sebastian Stan finds his inner asshole. He plays a dickilicious horndog like a thespian. I wanted to lick every inch of his physical imperfections. Lily James was aware that Pamela Anderson was a gullible and bubble headed person because that is how the writers conceived her. Stan and James are fun, rock underwear looks a lot like gay underwear, the appendage was stupid and inaccurate, when it talked it got smaller and none of Seth Rogen's shenanigans seemed feasible. He's still a funny fucker though. Gutter white trash with money, beauty, some talent and porn tapes. Karma ate them up for enjoying sex. 24-Feb-2022