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TV Posts Tagged as 'Wit Crack'

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Love Is Blind (2020) Howl

No one recognized that Bartiste is the thigh king. I know daddy looked like Pebbles Flintstone but to me he was a Bam Bam Rubble. I wanted to pull it and give him a back bath. Cole showed off his thighs too. As if. The females called Cole a good guy then tore him apart in the description." "You fat shaming hoochie fucking dirty ass broke lying motherfucker evil spawn of satan with dreamy eyes." The women were so supportive of each other that they made Cole cry. Putting Vicks on the tips of his fingertips and rubbing his eyes worked. Colleen was petrified to look Cole's way. She did it in the intro and ticked uncontrollably away. She saw those eyes. Yikes. I think she might have wet herself again. If she did that means that she suffered the whole hour without a diaper change due to the lack of commercials. Guess who's available to fuck somebody's wife? Dude, she lives alone! 09-Nov-2022
The show wastes the contestants and their guests' time by planning a fake wedding in the hopes of both parties saying yes? How humiliating. Nick's idea, wasn't it. 08-Nov-2022
S3E8. Would the thigh king agree to abort a future serial killer? No one should have the audacity to bear humans that can't exist without immense help. A lot of these kids can't communicate how they feel. We interpret how they feel. How do we know they're not saying, "I hate you, I hate you". Where's daddy? Is he working his thighs again while I suffer in pain? Yo, barbecue pork is giving the king a run for his money. What a beautiful fuck roast. Bartiste can shed some hair on Andrew's cloud puffs. Brennan looks like that but can't make any money? Ooh. Colleen was not at the club 'til 2:30 in the morning, she was washing her panties. They take forever to dry. They got wet from all the attention Cole was giving her. Both Matt and Cole were more argumentative with their fiancees than they were with each other. Their confrontation was bullshit. Matt really said, "please, I'm begging you, don't fuck my wife" and Cole said, "I won't" but thinking, "I'm gonna fuck your wife". Raven is going to regret taking an Ambien. She's gonna be woozy afterwards. Raven should have paired herself with the other thigh master if she wanted to live comfortably. We know he's a super daddy because he continuously spit it in everyone's face. Fuck other people on the side and go shopping. 06-Nov-2022
S3E7. You must become blind if you want to find love. Bartiste has cheating pork thighs, Cole has fuck all the girls silly eyes, Matt has kick your ass for being a slut ticks, Brennan's eyes turn black when nobody is looking and SK is an Ambien pill (30 minutes in your system before it knocks you out). It's about immature women that read fairy tales as children and believe them. For men, it's a "How To Pick Up Vulnerable Chicks" guide. Lie, lie, lie. 06-Nov-2022

Tags: Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

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09-Nov-2022


Inside Man (2022) Whimper

How a good person can be lead to kill. Stanley Tucci is elegant and perceptive as a death row inmate who helps investigate and solve crime. Atkins Estimond supplies "Watson" cuddliness. David Tennant spirals like a rabid dog. The wife is a frantic lunatic and the tutor is the "Karen" that's asking for it. It flourished in the beginning when we were blinded by its freshness but once we analyze the idiocy of it all, it doesn't make much sense. The deductions are grabbed from thin air, some of the reactions are not reasonable and by the end I was irked. Why didn't they just burn the stupid thing? Why did the pervert have to be mentally challenged? All of my perverts had normal capabilities and didn't freak people out. Why are perverts granted mercy but "Karens" are unforgivable? Who gives their perverted porn to a vicar? Your mama don't want it in the house, smash it to smithereens. Yes, anyone can become a killer but many others don't. They are called good dead people. 05-Nov-2022

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Cliche, Crapfun, Creepy, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Indecipherable, LGBTQ, Overcooked, Preposterous, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Vague, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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05-Nov-2022


AHS: NYC (2022) Woof

Ryan & Co. serve enough gay meat to feed a Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The stories intertwine nicely. Gay is not what it's cracked up to be. We live life waiting for our perversions to be rewarded. It never happens. I have to disagree with the politically correct's hate towards cops. In my day there were good cops and bad cops, like Jedis. A lot of the time, the good cop was gay. I am thankful for that. You almost want to look away every time that smart begins a story because a shitty end awaits it. Russell Tovey peaks our interest with egg-shaped ears, ass encapsulation and making it overwhelmingly and illegitimately hard to listen to a foreign accent without cumming. Zachary Quinto is wolfy and orgasmic. Charlie Carver epitomizes an innocent victim. Joe Mantello is the kind of daddy you want to breathe a moment of life into. Isaac Cole Powell is a body you can only dream about. I know they are going to fuck it up but I'm going to relax and enjoy the ride. 25-Oct-2022

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Crime Drama, Director's Touch, Fun, Gay, Hot Swatch, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Political, Representing, Sex, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful

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25-Oct-2022


Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)  HowlDowngrade

When will men learn that women don't want to have kids with bald heads and hairy backs? It's off-putting, especially if they turn out to be girls. The only way to prove a gay steward a liar is to film it. Shouldn't the pronunciation of Mzi be Mitzy instead of Zee? The captain only popped out at opportune moments. Example: "the gay guy is going to call that nosey girl a bitch. Listen, wait, then pop out." I want to see the chef's eyes turn black when he's banging a chick. He has "You" type relationships with the boat, crew and that chief stew casserole. 17-Oct-2022
Deck Jason was belittled for confusing" being himself" with "honesty." 21-Sep-2022
The crew dressed like Guy Fieri and I didn't get it. Why the big boobs? A strange dick in a gay's mouth fixes his teeth but makes his job performance wonky. If a gay boy unzips in a woman's face it's not sexual harassment. If a strait man compliments a gay boy's ass it's an honor. Ex-new boyfriend of chief stew is worried that ex-new girlfriend is thinking of the chef's dick every time she sees him. He needs to helicopter in and remind her what a tasty dick looks like. The captain keeps seeing the same dirty spot after a few sips and not. Natalya snitched on her boss (not-twin) and stew Whoopsy. The captain called them pigs and Whoopsy exclaimed that Natalya had opened the fish market. What the hell is that? Is that a new gender? 12-Sep-2022
Lesbians in charge still can't incorporate a hot male crew member. Trust me, the sex jokes would be less offensive. Captain Sandy does not hit things when she has a few sips. A gay steward gets a tooth infection when there is no constant dick in his mouth. I can't tell those brunette stewards apart. If I were Captain Sandy I'd make one of them cut their hair. 15-Aug-2022

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Bad Acting, Brutal, Crapfun, Emasculating, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Political, Reality, Relationships, Showy, Shrill Act, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Basic, Writ w/Possibilities

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17-Oct-2022


Watcher, The (2022) Arf

Moving to a new neighborhood is like finding extended family. Neighbors expect things of you. You fake your way out, you eventually fall into their trap and they change you. Jennifer Coolidge is in it. She was mighty confident pulling out question marks. She's all you'd expect and more. Margo Martindale is sublime as a sparring neighbor that's always lawfully right. The asshole who I think claimed all men want to sleep with their daughters was intriguing. Mia Farrow was wasted as a tree communicator/hugger/companion. A neighbor that excludes humans from the safety of the environment is a nag. Every time Papa Cannavale raged, my loins pleasantly shifted but when he didn't stop, I got ED. The Wakandan investigator seemed too fabulous to be in this realm. Real-life haunted house stories are bullshit. A bunch of brilliant people coming up with an idea of creating history by actually destroying people's lives and documenting it. All I wanted was to see Martindale and Coolidge go at it. Coolidge as a porn star neighbor with loud parties and sex orgies (ooh ooh, she can invite Stifler), colorful guests and Martindale doing what she does best with lesbian tendencies. Ryan puts our head in a tumbler and expects us to figure it out. On what basis? 14-Oct-2022

Tags: 2020s, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Funny, Good Acting, Horror, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Overcooked, Political, Star Watt, Tedium, Timid, Warbly, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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14-Oct-2022


Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022-) Bites

S1E4. I bought a box of Depends so I could put up with the rest of the season. 13-Jun-2022
S1E1. The disease that made Hayden Christensen sink Darth Vader may have been borne from Star Wars speak not Hayden Christensen. The acting is horrible. The originals are the only ones that understood that nerdy language. The series recreates a legend whose ending has already been written but doesn't push it any further. To 2022? It's so corny I shit my pants backwards. 02-Jun-2022

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Cliche, Drama, Egotistical, Fantasy, No Chemistry, Over the Top, Overcooked, Sci-Fi, Silly, Timid, Tired, Wit Crack

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13-Jun-2022


SuperNature (2022) Howl

Gervais has finally gone too far. He makes fun of cats. LOL! 26-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Funny, Stand-Up, Star Watt, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

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26-May-2022


Insiders (2021) Arf

Future homeless are secured in a glass house to compete in an experiment that has them auditioning to win money and fame. Nothing is what it seems. The actors are award winning, the contestants are frantic and the host is a delicacy. The cruelty is unbelievable. Reactions from participants are placed above their mental health. I questioned the point of the experiment. Did it want to show us how maladjusted all representation is? Are we all to blame for life's fallacies? They make you think, kill, fuck, fake, think, kill, cry, fuck, fake, rage. When emotions run high we get to see the kind of homeless they will become. The producers' fuckery is set to get inside our heads by inhabiting media stereotypes. Yo, I think it works. It's a Ring type thing. Once you watch it your cells start to die. But the host is so fabulous and I want to see more pocket daddy legs. Yeah, I'm fucked. 24-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Funny, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Over the Top, Pitchy, Preposterous, Psychological, Questionable, Reality, Revenge, Sex, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Twisty, Warbly, Weird, Wit Crack, World, Writ Tough

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24-May-2022


Summer House Reunion (2022) Woof

Congratulations Kyle, you married a lizard. Daddy emcee was only drunk enough to drop an intern's child on their face. Kyle was done up pretty but he didn't move much for fear of smudging it. A girl outed Carl's ginormous penis. Girls, 7 inches is the size gay babies train on. There are bigger things out there. Andrea found a dummy to trade his dick in for a green card. Ciara doesn't need to apologize for violent acts because she is black and a white person enslaved her great, great, great, great grandparents in a galaxy far far away, a long long fucking time ago. Danielle became a racist after an enraged black woman attacked her. Alex thought his dick grew an inch when he insulted a man for his lack of look. Ha! 10-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Comfort Food, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Entertainment, Fun Acting, Funny, Hilarious, Lifestyle, Psychological, Relationships, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Wit Crack, Writ For Short Attn Spans, Writ Funny

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10-May-2022


Ozark (2017-2022) HowlDowngradeWoof

Oh no! I'm fucked! 10-May-2022
I got it as soon as my sister uttered the words. "They got used to it." 08-May-2022
Wendy Byrde burst out. A mother of common sense, female liberation and purpose. A woman fighting against her vagina to bring herself to orgasm. 08-May-2022
Only an asshole named Marty Byrde or Jason Bateman can ruin Rhoda Mogenstern's career. 08-May-2022
James Cameron didn't bother because a lake is not an ocean. 08-May-2022
DePalma would have lovingly dumped them. 08-May-2022
Hitchcock would have killed them. 08-May-2022
Spielberg would have pulled their hearts out. 08-May-2022
Nolan would have ended smiles and piled up the exposition. 08-May-2022
Tarantino would have ended it with a Batdance. 08-May-2022
Larry David would have killed them all and laughed. 08-May-2022
The resolution to "out of nothingness" is to become rich. Superiority is applied when survival is imminent. Destruction of non-family matters are predetermined. Pretend as we may, the biggest construct our parents ever created is us. 08-May-2022
S3E4. The Mexican cartel is insecure about everything. Jason Bateman became America's sweetest sarcasm when he laundered Rhoda Morgenstern's second career. Laura Linney was born to fuck and resent the men that make her life miserable. Janet McTeer took a Jane Lynch role and turned it into art. Ruth is my favorite person in the whole wide world. I want to talk like her but society would deem it appropriation, so I will only speak "her" when I'm alone. MicKinley Belcher the 3rd needs to come back and fuck something. I love "fuck you" shows. 27-Jan-2022

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Political, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

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10-May-2022


Moon Knight (2022-) WhimperUpgradeWoof

Papi would have made me happy doing Shakespeare in tights for all 6 episodes. He broke out of his shell and became a thespian. The imagination was resplendent, the actualization fulfilled its standards but the ending was looney. 07-May-2022
Egyptian gods and cumming every time papi speaks British. 24-Apr-2022
The second episode provided a thrill I thought it was incapable of. Papi Isaac is in my blood stream and I'm addicted to his drip. The story is an absorbing mythology that reads likes a good book. No one is showing off. It's funny and magical. Everyone is thinking. Two papi Isaacs is just one more sweet ass to squish. Anna Delvey needs to work herself into one of those mirrors. I'm digging it. 08-Apr-2022
All it proves is that papi Isaac can play Anna Delvey. 01-Apr-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Camp, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Fantasy, Fun Acting, Funny, Good Acting, Good Looking Art, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Magnetism, Questionable, Relationships, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet Dick Energy, Twisty, Vague, Weird, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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07-May-2022


Ultimatum, The (2022) WhimperUpgradeArf

Reunion. How did Nick Lachey get so pink? He looks like fried pork. I love fried pork. Sweet and sour and a dash of soy sauce. Yum. Vanessa disguises her witchcraft well. I'm almost beguiled. I get it. He's almost to the point where he doesn't remember Marvel movies. Take all his money and drop out of the hemisphere. Pregnancies are the pathway to a cheating man's heart. "He aint fucking no raptor in lingerie. No Way!" Why do bisexuals keep sneaking around? It's 2022. Are they perverts? Someone came out as a lesbian and I guessed it because the curls in her hair stopped bouncing. I knew there was something askew. Beautiful giants need to stop raging on women that record them doing what giants were born to do. It's not a giant's fault that women aren't with it. Lesbians need to stop pretending they like small cocks on giant men. Braids on a man never looked more Groot. Pretty other thing got criticized on national TV for not keeping his mate from going full lesbian. Dude, that's rough. He's so pretty. Love is the easiest thing to replace, just close your eyes...and wish it bigger. Gigolos will appear with free tickets to nowhere. 16-Apr-2022
S1E1. The quickest way to get your partner to acquiesce to children and marriage is to dump them. Works every time. They don't need to go on a stupid reality show. Isn't that what the Lacheys stated at the beginning of the show? 11-Apr-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Daddy Squish, Drama, Emasculating, Entertainment, Fantasy, Home Improvement, Psychological, Romance, Sex, Timid, Wit Crack

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16-Apr-2022


Saturday Night Live (2021) WoofDowngrade

Jake Gyllenhaall's youth is being vanquished by the accumulation of dirt that is highlighting his age. Kate McKinnon is the raptor of comedy. It's scary she's still there but even more annoying she endures. 11-Apr-2022
S47E5. James Austin Young electrified with a pitch perfect and hilarious impersonation of a man we dare not mention. 07-Nov-2021
S47E4. Jason Sudeikis brought fat dick energy to the proceedings. Hilarious. 24-Oct-2021
The season was a grab bag. Instances are not as easily remembered as moments. The Season finale was a cumulative effort of insanely funny moments. Weekend Update stands atop the heap for generating the most laughs. Everyone had a turn to belt one out and they scored. A complete audience energized the atmosphere. The skits were sharp, edgy and cruel. For one night they were allowed to be themselves and make fun of us. Yes, we need fixing. SNL allows us to laugh at life's most angriest parts on Saturday so we can face them on Monday morning. 24-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Enthusiastic, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Musical, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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11-Apr-2022


Bridgerton (2020-) WoofUpgradeHowl

Season Two was as beautiful as one of Lord Bridgerton's ass muscles. Queen Charlotte. Lady Danbury. Lady Bridgerton. Lady Portia. Eloise. Pen. Wigs. Costumes. Romance. Moooah. 30-Mar-2022
S1E8. A woman wraps up the marriage contract when she can birth a good shank to serve the round table. Men like ideals in women's heads so that our explanations make sense to them. It was brotime, sweetie! They took the cultures out of the equation. We judge them individually. Every actor willed good force. It was fun, it was camp, it was time and we're in it. The ending was delicious and I'm trading the duke in for the boxer. The duke has an "I'm so pretty" snarl. The other looks like my camper. Good job. 28-Dec-2020
S1E7. Mid-thru is an explanation of how black culture became elite. I bought it. The series needs more scandal and debauchery though. I'm replacing yes, daddy with yes, duke. 27-Dec-2020
S1E2. Not necessarily the show I want to binge on after mother telling me my black is white but it's Shonda so I'll give it a go. The shock of seeing black empowered gentleman and ladies of the pre-Victorian era makes my brain explode with fact check assumptions. I don't because I want to accept it on its own merit. Most of the cast whistles, foams and pours whilst the rest couldn't get out of their modern heads. The business at hand is to score the most pristine and delicate virgin hopefully with fine manners (a "yes girl") to fulfill a man's dream of future family and success. A woman's power is to profit from the business, band and thwart any mismatch that might bring a daughter harm and make sons proud. Shonda adds her sight of man appreciation, Shondaspeare fast talk and on your knees intrigue. I remember Nicola Coughlan because I wanted to eat her like she ate that cake. She's delicious. The picture for myself didn't get any clearer because I'm watching black people pretending to live whites lives. It makes the future modern brain wonder what the hate was all about. 26-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Discomfort, Drama, Elegance, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Mystery, Nostalgic, Overcooked, Psychological, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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30-Mar-2022


I've Got A Secret (1952-1967) Full Moon

You know you are hooked on greatness when the picture looks crappy but the content is gold. 23-Mar-2022

Tags: 1950s, 1960s, Adorable, Amiable, Art, Best In Game Show, Best In Variety, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Comfort Food, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Enthusiastic, From Another Planet, Fun, Hilarious, History, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Nostalgic, Over the Top, Psychological, Sentimental, Silly, Special, Star Power, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Talk, Tough, Variety, Weird, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Tight, Writing Reigns

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23-Mar-2022




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