Making the audience cum doesn't make it good. As soon as the last drip is swallowed, it's forgotten. 23-Jul-2022

The action sequences were fantastic, daddy Bond exhibited sausage and skills. Having muscles didn't hurt. I couldn't decide if the villain was ridiculous because of the actor or the writing. Sap killed the end. Bond doesn't need to announce what he's going to do. It kills the surprise. 24-Jun-2022

It depicts our shortcomings in a sanitized environment. There is no outside telling us we suck so we are in a safe space. It paced itself naturally as not to impose. The cast was pleasantly supportive. The writing pondered some truth but resolved most of it with prom com magic. My Fire Island experience was rated XXX for rampant sex, sissy violence and "fuck you" friends. Family Shmamily. 05-Jun-2022

The mood is retro energized to soothe us into an 80's coma. There are three sexes applied to Bizarro Chalamet and I can't get over it. Daddy Rudd endured the right cosmetic procedure because he's yummy gay again except he was stupid, useless and shoed. The wall between the generations discouraged charisma amongst the replacements. There was a don't touch me vibe with babies helming a gimmick that keeps the franchise alive but old movie stars resentful. Why do possessed lizards change their outfits willy nilly but man has to suffer in shreds? The first half works because we presume the artist will add a great spin to propel the magic and replace original mistakes. He makes it more of the same. Reitman copies the spins with advanced tech but he doesn't sign off on it. 20-May-2022

Ann-Margret plays a girl who advances in the fashion industry because of hard work and drop dead gorgeousness. Father and son heads offer her the opportunity to become a Paris buyer when the original gets married. Father and son dispute her capabilities but acknowledge that beauty can surpass it. Louis Jordan is the Paris client with sexual arrangements to the previous buyer. There is little proof that Margret's character impresses at her job because she spends most of her time in Paris, drinking, partying, flirting, dancing, singing and clobbering boys who want to go further than a kiss. The most beautiful boy in the world, Chad Everett, the hottest tongue in France, Louis Jordan and the slub who accepts leftovers, Richard Crenna, are the men vying for Lady Margret's baby's breath. Ann's character is written with confused sensibilities. She riles the men up then 2x4s them later. She wants to live a fantasy without all that icky stuff, like sex. The ex-buyer getting married on short notice without telling her french lover/client gets no clarification. Edie Adams was unfortunately a short lived thing disrespected in the film's best storyline. Margret dolled up in fashion chic and hit the dance floor to Count Bassie and Mongo Santamaria like a sexual beast. Edits and choreography are a mess but Lady Margret's magnitude never lets up. The fashion is creative, the only laughs are violent, the idea that a girl becomes a woman if she gets married is primitive, when men exclaim that a girl is too young to fuck, they mean right now. 26-Apr-2022

The Batman is the only character that suits up. How lonely for him. He's always the freak. The support enact realistic iterations of characters that lit up Batman's mythology to absolutely no effect. The Riddler is a demented teen who was brought up by an unfunny father who worked the mines. The riddles were blah. There is no Riddler without a tight body suit, a tight body and demented cynicism. Daddy Farrell wasted a lot of time in makeup, creating art out of a role that doesn't belong. He is not penguin. I didn't see any top hats, monocles or bullet umbrellas. Michelle Pfeiffer's reign as the best film Catwoman cannot be extinguished. Zoe is an everyday gorgeous girl not a cat. Her cowl is just as cheap and unintelligible as I expected. Her lack of meow hurts. Commissioner Gordon was a lackey. Everything was eeeeewww and he was always waiting for Batman to finish things up for him. Daddy Turturro knew exactly what the director wanted and gave it to us. Alfred and Bruce's interaction was rude. The parental bond was cold. Why hire an Aunt Harriet if she's not going to be an Aunt Harriet? That might have been fun. Oops. Sorry. Fun not allowed. The Twins were cute. Robert Pattinson is the glue you want to stick to because he makes you ponder how his beautifully broken humanity can create life from something he hates. I saw love in Zoe's face when she looked at him. I saw panty dropping aloofness register from his. Batman's narration doesn't mesh with toxic revenge. The moments he celebrated were my cringe. This isn't Batman. He doesn't laud himself or others. He's a lonely motherfucker that hates the world because he lost mommy and daddy to crime and got stuck in a mansion with a pervy butler. Batman's detective work failed from a lack of gadget magic. Yeah! Rich angry fucks love gadgets. Matt Reeves strikes potent pictures but was entrapped by a franchise that is petrified of its origins. The man/woman who gives us comic book Batman with realistic choices will become King of The World. What's the point of hiding in the shadows if everyone can hear you? 18-Apr-2022

The washed up male porn star with a huge dick cliche. His 14" cock was the ladder that should have saved the world. John Holmes was a porn king who sold his soul to the devil to continue to do drugs and have sex. John Holmes was either the mastermind that plotted the worst heist of his life or he was really dumb. Baby Kate Bosworth was a great young innocent in love with the aura of a "man." Lisa Kudrow was Beatrice Straight from Network. Underwritten, marvelous and powerful. She didn't flinch. Val Kilmer softens the big cock brute by being genuine. The reenactments of what occurred that fateful night raced to a satisfying conclusion. 04-Apr-2022

Oops. Laurie and Mike are not the brother and sister alluded to in Halloween 2. It was a myth and a modern waste of a great arc. 21-Mar-2022

Menopausal shipping magnate dumps his business and distances himself from family because he wants to re-marry. The wife is a young Gloria Swanson playing a celebrated actress ready to retire with the old rich man of every woman's dream. She had money and success but wanted security. Adolphe Menjou was too cute and proper to put down but mama Swanson deserved to fuck his boring beautiful son. The film is split in three. Intro fears, adaptation, immigration, saving the planet and regretting it. Swanson and Menjou quarrel about masculinity and woman's liberation while receiving modern advice from the son and sweet wife. The event is Desi Arnaz as a stowaway on their honeymoon cruise where they decide to rescue him and offer him a lifestyle only the elite could afford. He can sing, shave and fuck like a bandit and he's pretty too. He deserved to fuck everybody including senior and junior. Swanson deserved to put him on her plate. Desi's accent was very light and we got to experience him how Lucy saw him. A beautiful ham. Its heart was distant, the comedy avoided the soul but the pretense was fun. 14-Mar-2022

Super daddy, a chunk (of meat) and his mini spar through time travel to end time travel. Sci-fi is comic book, action is diverting, writing is pensive but the three leads hold it together. The boy mimicked an asshole just like Ryan Reynolds would. Mark Ruffalo is a war torn daddy born to parent an asshole. The wattage, the funny, the adorable and the sweet were all there. 13-Mar-2022

Scripting black people to complain about cops and confederate flags is not thoughtful. Killing all the black actors anyway, is not giving a shit. Making me confused about female sexuality is a useless gay time thing. Leatherface is nothing without family dependability. He was the icing on the family cake. A family that celebrated meat, farming and death. Icing without cake is a blob. 22-Feb-2022

The inestimable is the most hurtful. Brian Bonsall played Mikey, a throwaway child with trust, jealousy and psychotic issues. The actor had the smarts of an adult aware of its value. Everyone loves "new" adorable thing until it becomes codependent and angry. The conversations are the same as today, which freaked me out. "We're still talking about the same shit with the non-resolutions." Mikey is presented as an adoptive boy trying to adjust to a family that has suddenly enforced rules. They must die, the most inept investigators can't solve it and adorable little Mikey is psychoanalyzed for PTSD after secretly killing them. The psychiatrist frees him into the adoption system with an "all he needs is love" diagnosis and Mikey moves on to the next stupid family. Mikey has learned that electricity and water don't mix, you can hit real balls with bats, cops can't solve anything, mothers just stand there screaming while you're stabbing them to death and to remove the bullets from adult guns and disconnect their phones so they can't fight back. Empty guns waving in the dark. Elementary school sports training consisted of coaches deciding which boy would be a "skin" or a "shirt" for no apparent reason other than to be a pervert. Telling certain kids and not others to strip is insulting and absolutely gay. His favorite teacher becomes suspicious of the boy's monstrous tendencies when he adds marbles to her "marble game." A box is designated for the kids to drop marbles they earn for good deeds. The more marbles of goodness you inherit the quicker you can fill it so its doors burst open and you can receive a prize. She investigates his history but his adoption file is closed and the witnesses are minimal. There is no living thing that is safe when Mikey gets pissed. Will he spare no one? Kids dragging adult dead bodies, killing cats, feeding frogs to sharks, setting up the boyfriend and using a bow and arrow to kill are hilarious. Everything looks TV safe and appealing, the deaths are LOL and Bonsall keeps on giving. He is the conservative cunt that arises when successful families keep pushing the same subject without advancing. Mikey is the child liberated from bullshit. Baby boy is my new "Carrie."

PS: dudes, if she wants childrenx and you don't, show her this movie. Repeated viewing depends on her voracity for children and disdain for the film. Keep it downlow. We don't want to damage her. Keep it stealthily in the background and don't stop watching it. Make it a top ten of all time. Yeah, it's crap but its better than having a baby. 21-Feb-2022

It's cold on facts and quick with details. Two fascinating humans aligning to make the world a better place for themselves, remain enigmas. They let go of reality and rode a magic horse to success. Magic horses need lots of water so they steal some from neighboring lands. Lands dry up and competitors get suspicious. Jessica has brilliant moments when spiritually linked to the original but defaults to herself when Tammy Faye does nothing spectacular. There was no Faye spin on song or yell. Jessica completed a very difficult job. Andrew Garfield instantly reminded me of the Jim Bakker I thought I forgot. He was excellent. What happened with the kids? 13-Jan-2022

Red Notice fulfills "land of magic" type escapism. The writers created an intriguing caper and an enigmatic cast to play act it. Gal Gadot can act. Well. Daddy King Rock delighted in being the brunt of a joke, constantly, in fabulous fashion. Dickwad Reynolds steals it by being a cantankerous benevolent criminal who is also Deadpool. The director took advantage of its DCU historical significance and developed some solid characters. Heart tug. 11-Jan-2022

I can't identify with a child that wakes his parents up so daddy can walk him to the latrine which is terrifyingly one block away. To piss. Why didn't he just piss in any corner of the house except where mama hangs laundry? It debates whether parents should compromise a boy's sensitivity by forcing him to become a man if the times deem it necessary. It's a future where woke people are forced to eat animals named Fluffy to survive. Suicidal grandpa daddy grants himself an early reprieve by getting a conscious in between bouts of "I don't give a shit! and "I want to die!" Daddy did not deserve a vacation. Mother madness is spooky with minimal slaps and torture towards children. She did good with killing animals, though. I didn't understand it. "The monster is made of trees, branches and bad lighting, maybe. You imagined the whole thing. You're just like us. Nuts." The child riled us up but the director couldn't grant us a reason for any of it. 08-Jan-2022