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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Action Stomper'
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Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) 
It begins with family authenticity, struggling to keep current and afloat. Super reality sets in and a tingle starts. Oh no! It's going to be bonkers. It succeeded because the cast decided to resolve it. I wasn't sure if the husband was Jackie Chan. I spent a lot of the time being jealous of how young he looked. It was driving me crazy. He can't be, right? When he utilized the master's moves, I thought, that's definitely Jackie Chan. It's a tribute to him and Michelle Yeoh as action heroes but why does he look so fucking young? Terrific surgery perhaps? Ke Huy Quan is as adorable now as he was as a kid in a Spielberg classic. He was absolutely precise. To Lady Yeoh, we gently bow. Stephanie Hsu had fun being all iterations of evil because we had fun too. Jamie Lee Curtis went gnarly. James Hong added his queerisms. The film threw as many cliches as it did new ideas. A win win for art. A film that wipes its imperfections with glorious shots of legends reacting to wonder and giving us soul. 27-Nov-2022
An artful relentless mess in which Lord Nicholas takes on religion and splits his asshole kicking its butt. 12-Oct-2022
The action sequences were fantastic, daddy Bond exhibited sausage and skills. Having muscles didn't hurt. I couldn't decide if the villain was ridiculous because of the actor or the writing. Sap killed the end. Bond doesn't need to announce what he's going to do. It kills the surprise. 24-Jun-2022
The film needed a script doctor. The younglings have endured enough ugly world to be acting like babies. They turned Dr. Strange into a goofball with quips. They took away Spider-man's scathing witticisms and replaced them with awkward and cute. Electro is only as good as his paycheck and its effect. Sandman shook. Dock Ock was a fond memory. The boys came back, all grown up, giving us the feels. I wish Aunt May had not given a shit. She had no backbone. The younglings were greater than their material. They needed a drip of Willem Dafoe to stay great because they looked exhausted. Tech was brilliant comic book magic served on a flying carpet. 02-May-2022
Apt sequel that glamorizes its predecessor and makes Leatherface a hero. It's a chill, spook and gay spectacular. 06-Mar-2022
Red Notice fulfills "land of magic" type escapism. The writers created an intriguing caper and an enigmatic cast to play act it. Gal Gadot can act. Well. Daddy King Rock delighted in being the brunt of a joke, constantly, in fabulous fashion. Dickwad Reynolds steals it by being a cantankerous benevolent criminal who is also Deadpool. The director took advantage of its DCU historical significance and developed some solid characters. Heart tug. 11-Jan-2022
Shang-Chi & The Legend of Ten Rings (2021) 
It opens with a sober mythological tale. The action sequences lift our feet off the floor. Awkafina is refreshing. She makes corny scenarios funny. Simu Liu is a ripped pocket ass kicker. The story crumbles when daddy issues arise and Marvel wokeness and grandstanding are inserted. Motivations are vague, the writing can't keep up with the tech and by the end, the movement becomes an oncoming train. 21-Nov-2021
Margot Robbie can't queef a joyous Harley, Joel Kinnaman misplaced his acting capabilities and Nathan Fillion can't squish anymore. Pete Davidson came and went, Viola gave it more than it deserved and the whole was obliterated by Cena and his tighty whites. The film has guts. it needs them to deal with an army of superhero ninnies. 02-Nov-2021
What "Aliens" is to "Alien." The opening was fraught with surprises and director pumps. The original actors settled into their characters and the new blended in nicely. If you watch and wish things were different, the film won't make much sense. If you watch it like you would a foundation being built, you might appreciate it. We need to shut up sometimes or die. 23-Oct-2021
I'm young enough to remember playing it but too old to retain character backstories. When the legends come to life it jogs the memory and its cool. The action brutalizes your senses and makes you feel guilty for releasing with it. The story and dialogue try to zap the fun out of it but the techies keep throwing water on it to keep the spark going. 09-Sep-2021
Kong vs. Kardashians. 10-Jul-2021
Mitchells vs The Machines, The (2021) 
Teen lesbian leaving for school, has her life upended when Siri takes over the world and her dorky family is in charge of saving it. The adventures rely on coincidence, loud family squabbles, pet abuse, girl empowerment, gay robots and swirly pops to the brain. The voices don't humanize or endear themselves to us. Does Michael Rianda really think that he sounds like a cute little boy? It ends like every new animation whose heart beats like a girl. Go, girls! Do whatever the fuck you want! 06-May-2021
Die Hard With A Vengeance (1995)
I needed a break from imaginary intelligence so I decided to watch the daddies that kept me a boy longer than I needed to be. The Riddler has designated several bombs to go off at different times all over Gotham unless Beast Boy and Cyborg decode them. As soon as Daddy Willis walks naked into Harlem wearing an offensive sign and precipitates different reactions from the community, the movie stakes a claim on how we presently live. It isn't offensive because the film is a warning about foreigners using our hate to destroy us. The actors are saying things that we think but are not allowed to say. Our anger and resentment is released through them. Samuel L. Jackson is the best antagonist to have because he will do what's right for everybody and make you laugh. Applying CGI spandex onto Jeremy Irons Riddler would have made his equation complete. Chemistry is on blast, believability is shot but daddies look so cool getting bloody and blowing things up. 26-Apr-2021
Why are they monster hunters? Nobody wants to track these ugly fuckers down. They happen to be in the way of some people getting home. That's all. Self-defense has nothing to do with hunting. The military swag from all sexes was nauseating, the action was energetic but preposterous, all of the bad actors die first and we thank the gods but the monsters mainly consisted of a "Tremors" beast, a crablike spider and a dragon made of rocks. The cat was funny but was given minimal time. (What a delight to surprise Dr. Viviana with that one!) Non-descript monsters and humans battling an unrealistic warp world. It doesn't make Hi-C sense. 21-Mar-2021
Swiss family travel the high seas to claim new land and eco-trash it. Pirates attack their ship as they sleep, all the passengers jump to safety and nobody bothers to awaken them. Were they not liked? They were probably snooty. TG they left an animal farm, nails and enough ammo to kill an army. Shipwrecked. The Ewoks would have barked at the unrealism of the family tree palace but it's fun Disney magic. As they settle into tranquility the parents ponder the future of their three sons. The boys would inherit nothing without women to love lest they do the animals or worst, each other. A trans boy makes it onto the island and Cain and Abel are awakened to some sexual clarity. It's preposterously gorgeous, impossible, animalistic, adventurous, violent and joyous. 28-Feb-2021
