All Posts Tagged as 'Accidental Watch'
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Abigail (2024)
The child did extraordinary things, quoted words not associated with children and plagiarized previous strokes. The last minute saves were so expected that emotional attachment got lost. Melissa Barrera gave Faith from Buffy vibes. Dan Stevens was blank. The first surprise is like everything before it. Once the cat is out of the bag the movie falls into WB TV status. Yes, it was a surprise but a sucky one. 28-Nov-2024
What Happened To Monday (2017)
Glenn Close deserves to play a bona-fide witch. She'd be unforgettable. Willem Dafoe was cerebral and dominant. Marwan Kenzari is unbuckling. At first I thought it was the slicked back hair until I saw his beard. His beard had shadows. I could smell his smoke. What a beautiful beast. It was hardening. Noomi Rapace added texture to all her personalities and made them unique. Some of her guises were marvelous. The future is overloaded with children and the law has issued that families can only have one. A mother dies giving birth to septuplets and dad inherits the burden of keeping 7 sisters safe. He keeps them alive and they thrive until one goes missing. Action sequences were impactful, set-ups were energetic, the actors delivered and the director kept it interesting. 19-Nov-2024
Hot Frosty (2024)
I found a good reason for Frosty to be fit. A witch froze him a long long time ago, blah, blah, blah, he turned into a fat snowman because of the harsh weather and has been resurrected several times. The more he melts after resurrection affects how many more pounds he sheds in the next rebirth. He meets his end when he turns into a puddle, a 100 sequels and years later. 17-Nov-2024
I am aware that this is supposed to be stupid but the title is a gimmick that is lightly actualized. Did he have to be so skinny? The ice sculpture he popped out of weighed more than him. There are way more hotter big men that can make you believe they are snowmen. Being safe is its biggest problem. How does anyone stretch their artistic wings when they have to self efface at every opportunistic turn? Magic is basically zip. Snowman has no abilities except quick learning and hot flashes. He'll melt when he's ready. A bit mythology wouldn't have hurt and it would have helped us connect. He's the blank iceman that women dream up when everything else dries up. (It's a good cooking companion.) 17-Nov-2024
Emilia Perez (2024)
A series plan might have suited the film better because characterization was thin. Zoe Saldana's spirit gets lost in spanish. Edgar Ramirez was an edible. A little more Adriana Paz would have broken my heart. The sex scene was so demure. They mimicked fucking each other. Selena was typecast as a bedhead drunk who sucks as a mother, can't really speak spanish and has no reason to be there. Karla Sofia was more than ready for her close-up but the writers couldn't come up with quality material that would allow her to burst. Cartel titan bamboozles frazzled lawyer into changing his identity by assisting him to become a woman, unbeknownst to anyone but her. The musical numbers succeed as much as they hurt. The actors don't really sing. They talk to music. An operatic approach might have suited its subject better. All who participated in the musical segments were brave enough to make us cringe. Kudos. Such openness. Who accepts a musical assignment without adding joy? A notorious killer can change its spots if they become the fairer sex. The transition wasn't believable. Did Perez not retain any of cartel leader's assholiness or survival skills? The film ponders no realities. You are instantly a saint when the sex change happens. If you go to prison for past errors you are compensated by having first pick of jailhouse wenches. Bingo! 16-Nov-2024
Bad Moon, The (1996)
As soon as I realized the original material centered around a pet beast, my mind started to baton twirl. Thor was the title and the name of the dog. But, the movie is about a werewolf, a mother and son, or is it? Mariel Hemingway was peak star watt that carried the weight of the movie's heart. The son is there to make the dog look good. Michael Pare was a one-time specimen that carried out his mission like a rebellious animal. Romance violently exits in the first 10 minutes, a brother/sister/uncle dynamic takes its place, Thor was the best actor and the transformation didn't suck. Man vs beast has been re-re-written so they tried something else. How does a dog protect his family when uncle is the king of canines and the myth rules don't apply? 05-Nov-2024
Are You In The House Alone? (1978)
Kathleen Beller was a momentary icon that embodied being the naive girl that falls into temptation and then gets called out for it. Princess is being stalked and nobody gives a shit. Gwyneth's twin mother, Blythe supplies enough misunderstandings to compel her child to rebel. Baby Dennis Quaid's swag was thinking he could make women cum with only his dick. The film begins post crime with warnings and horror elements woven into it but it's not that. It's a sober approach that questions why all rapists can't get convicted. Life has a way of adjusting a lack of human justice though, by cursing the guilty party. "Scream like I screamed, bitch." 03-Nov-2024
Curse Of The Necklace, The (2024)
Everyone and everything is on the cusp, elements are appreciated and nonsense can be fun. 30-Oct-2024
Caddo Lake (2024)
The film ties you in knots and takes you on a history excursion but the rope gets cut when we are most lost. O'Brien was pleasant, Ambrose practiced her magic, the cast believed and the director took us there. It needed further explanation to supply the intended impact. 27-Oct-2024
Servant, The (1963)
The film presents interesting character development, a pace that is amicable and intelligent artists doing their thing. It's a product of 60's liberation. It was lust, sex and jazz. The mirror shots were cool and a stamp of British stroke. Lonely affluent man hires a streetwise butler to care for his expansive home and demands. The relationships are cold and it's hard to get a read on characters. The 50's aspect lulled me comfortably but the transition to the gogo 60's, turned my gut. Unexpected scenarios were aplenty. The film answers all our questions except, "why?" Every person we encounter is a power struggle. 26-Oct-2024
Come And Get It (1936)
Lumber jack foreman secures a fortunate future by destroying the competition and engaging with the boss' daughter. Edward Arnold was boisterous, empathetic and in charge as the hero with huge aspirations but prone to trigger happy endings. The logging scenes were an educational interruption that impressed me. His engagement was sidetracked by a saloon singer that was as proud of her balls as he was of his future wife's. The meet/greet was cute and sometimes funny. His greed and her heartbreak was realized. He abandons girl and his bestie for success. He bears a son that is a tower of goodness, modernity and a cause for vapors. Hot as fuck. Daddy's reign allows us to eventually turn on him. Bestie accepts responsibility by honoring what women need. Years roll by, the children mature and foreman is a parasite king pin. Boss encounters his heartbreak's daughter and subjects her to creepy adventures that don't make sense. He showers her and her family repeatedly until they become one of their own but a switch of interest from our heroine forces the hierarchy to crack. Circumstances become pervy and desperate. I understood the desire but not the pain. An old classic that dared and a heroine that stood up for herself. 17-Sep-2024
Uglies (2024)
Interesting premise that has no solid fictional reference to back it up. The idea that you get surgery at 16 to look your most beautiful self and be happy is fraudulent. Why didn't the people revolt before they agreed to a ludicrous way of living? What happens to the naturally beautiful? Vanity purists wouldn't allow that type of interruption to their legacy. Is there anything uglier than uglies? Do they step up to ugly status when the others reach nirvana? How many mothers popped ugly babies for society to enact such a rule? The baddie was a borderline dystopian with comic book strokes. If the rulers can manipulate the people to overhaul ugly, why go to the next extreme? The beauty is for whom? I liked Nose better before he turned into a Final Fantasy character. The movie made me self conscious of the lead's looks. I was judging them constantly to see if she fit the part. All she needed was a bath. The finale was maddening. You mean the baddies could have done that all along? What did they need Tally for? Her history with Nose had a heartbeat but her new buddy happend too swiftly and coincidentally to kick. Nose closure was a post-it from somebody else's refrigerator. I wished Croy was Smoke. Feelings coming back after transitioning wasn't explored enough to be convincing. Wouldn't starting fires to escape the opposition create an air map for the enemy? Skate surfing scenes uplifted but forging through the woods to bring grandma back was stark. It was not painful to watch or stay. 18-Sep-2024
Bromans UK (2017-)
An International Male catalog with skimpy naked men that should be licked. 31-Aug-2024
Bachelorette, The (2003-)
A neither would be most welcome. 30-Aug-2024
Dude, these guys are creeping me out. 30-Jul-2024
Aaron left. Of course she did. 24-Jul-2024
I hope this child has a lot of protection. How do you choose among wolves? Aaron is representing the LGBTQ community. Devin is all mouth. He can please casting but can he woo a woman? Should he even try? Hakeem has never watched an episode of the Simpsons. Jonathon looks like the kind of guy that would fuck your brains out until he gets Britney's number. Sam has a very pretty face. What's his sexual problem? Everyone acts like their agents taught them how to act. I pity the fool. 18-Jul-2024
Our Blushing Brides (1930)
Three working girls put their retirement on speed. The only way a woman could claim early retirement was to meet a man of privilege. The women were protective of each other and the men were perverse. The fate of all three women are different. By the end, the film relinquishes its madcap wit for serious drama. Joan Crawford was the big sister every friend needed. When lady Joan ignited, it was firecracker. Her character seemed to contradict herself, though. She couldn't succumb to a sexy one night stand with her dream date. Really? Dude, he had the most lavish treehouse ever. It had retracting stairs! And a view! Robert Montgomery was a pretty little thing that happenened to be the boss of the store the girls sold and modeled for. They wore new fashion to convince snobby zillas, they were attractive. Acting was pure, the funny had limits, and Lady Joan roared. 14-Aug-2024
House of Heat (2024-)
They look, talk and walk like ducks but don't like being called ducks. Only Fans creators are thrust inside a fish tank so they can observe, teach and grow their businesses. Some peel their clothes off while others tease it. Everyone is judgmental, scared and hostile. It was difficult to side with anyone because a lot of them believe they have the answer to surviving the mess they're in. Chase's beauty kept melting off the more he talked. The gay couple was so united in their bond that there was no space to breathe. They clung dependently like Venom and Hardy. The straight couple only had sex with each other on camera. They were special. She wanted to hold on to chastity. Any man that needs to fuck so many times a day already cheated and had the threesome she denied him. Brother gay with an appealing body needed to purse his lips, not glow them. The arguments are loud, repetitive and frustrating. Maybe the creators will realize the answer when they are outside the box. I don't know the answer but I know how it ends. The women questioned everything and added motives later. We never got an answer to the smelly pussygate dilemma. Was she sexually violated or were men just being themselves? Is that the reason we have to label everything? To distance ourselves from others? They close every argument like there will be a sequel. I wish my brain would function as fluidly as these creators. It made the cuckoo in my head clock pop. They are killing the mystery of the fantasy by telling too much. 29-Jul-2024