All Posts Tagged as 'Accidental Watch'
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Golden Bachelor, The (2023)

I tuned in because I wanted to survey the old hunk. There is no way a 72 year old can look that good. He's handsome, a people pleaser, tastes like Spanish Fly and wants to fuck. He proved his age when it took him about twenty minutes to put on his shoes. Good editing. Wink, wink. There were no Goldiggers amongst the 20 but I noticed a few madams and ex whores. Including younglings would have created the tension women of that age experience. Most of the elder women were loopy, defining an era that's no longer safe. I like Ellen. I don't know why but I do. One of the women looked like Captain Sandy in a black wig, the Maude impressionist was kicked out, Jesse eye-fucked the bachelor and I felt grandpa's burden. Every time he votes out an eccentric aunt, America will judge him. "The man is dumping grannies!" 30-Sep-2023
Bear, The (2022-) 

The pacing was slow but I was patient. The cast were trying to create authentic characters and the lead was stalkable. That helps because you have to follow them and little Nic Cage a lot. It veered seldom from work, concentrated on personalities and the history that made them toxic. I wished the repairs were finished. Bonds seem stronger at work because they are constantly there. Creation flows when your personal life loses its seeds. S2E6 changed everything. I couldn't bear it. The episode was a spectacle of questionable art. I woke up from my coma to ask myself if I was being fooled. Did the jar spill beans instead of pearls? Was the lead hot or just in need of a bath? The same problems kept arising. Repetition with an artsy flair. I couldn't finish the episode, the show or the dinner. 11-Sep-2023
Woman Possessed (1958)

A mother who has dedicated her whole life to making sure her son could take care of himself are reunited after two years, he's a doctor and engaged to be married. Mother is shocked at boy breaking mother monster bubble but he's in love. The introductions are awkward, full of rich people manners that can't mask hate. The conversations are human. Mother expounds an opinion that changes their lives forever. The couple bicker about how much control the mother has over her son and the backhanded humiliation future wife receives. Sometimes he was right, other times she was and half the time, both were. The mother blames the fiancee's weakness as to why she needs to suffer in her world. She was horrible when no one was around and she never let them see her sweat in a dress. The jury flip flops as did I. Uncle was cute, old maid was tired, of course, she had a mansion to clean, dress and cook for and young maid's exit was fucked up. The birthday party was a topper. The irony explains itself, the ladies were in good form and was that a lesbian ending? 22-Jul-2023
Fear In The Night (1972)

Angelic training makes a wife susceptible to malice because they are mentally unstable. Legends of art accelerated the drama. The table turn was sweet and the film wasn't a horrible waste of time. 22-Jul-2023
Somebody Up There Likes Me (1956)

Rocky was a criminal with a violent streak that learned to harness his rage and become a boxing champion. A boxer fights until he is bested and the beast subsides. The story is decisive and instructive. Newman found the soul the tribute demanded. The supporting cast shook like broadway during an earthquake. The show must go on. The fighting was desperate and raw. The soul was accurately apparent and the film strived for perfection. 17-Jul-2023
Girl Next Door, The (2007)

A boy learns the word slut from his mother. An orphan teenager and her polio stricken sister are adopted by a single mom and her 7 children. All is good until it's tragically not. Based on fact, the story follows the boy next door with a crush on a teen dream that tears his world apart. The aunt's brood are the product of perversion and horror. The abuse was horrendous enough to make you pull your hair out. Some of the scenes are oxygen intolerant. The boys/men faired better than the girls/women. The boys interpreted it as a sport while the girls/women dreaded everything. Had the aunt had Piper Laurie chops I would have shat my pants. Safe and artless. Teen dream did not give us more than was written but she was effective. The film works because when a monster has the power to influence one person, the whole community will join in. How does a child get help with that kind of force? Heartbreaking. 17-Jul-2023
Deep Fake Love (2023-)

S1E6. The hostess melted ice like climate change and gave a grieving contestant a much appreciated mom hug. Sweet. 09-Jul-2023
S1E5. Our European brethren don't fuck around. Fright and overreaction. The moment the couples landed on Lost Island they were jittering, twitching and sweating for things that they already had. The show separates partners into Venus and Mars locations, presuming Venus is for bottoms and Mars is for tops or they could be trying to trick us and its the other way around. The object of the game is to observe footage of their frolicking partners on another planet and guess whether the footage was real or faked for cash. The reactions were so hysterical that I stopped snoring so I could laugh. Latinos invented drama by spelling it. The first time they go into the White Room, they are shown footage of their counterparts in real or inappropriate interactions. Things get dicey when the real clips got racier than the fake ones and the tricks are on them. The test doesn't want to fix the relationship but the individual. Why does the gay couple only get one temptation? I'd expect two each, at least. The hostess is a chillmeister. The contestants were crying hysterically after watching shocking footage and instead of being motherly she pushed them to answer if they thought it was real or fake. She's the only one that got wardrobe money, too. 08-Jul-2023
Babysitter, The (1969)

The wife, the babysitter, the lesbian daughter and her friends are fucking up daddy's high profile murder case. (Father is the assistant district attorney.) The parents are nearing retirement, they have a habit of filling 24 hour schedules so they don't have to look deeply at each other. His wife won't give him any because she has a 6 month old baby. It appears she didn't want another one. She hires a babysitter every night. The babysitter is a groovy chick that understands the dynamics of life. She also understood what men wanted from her. Daddy was a man whose lack of family appreciation drives him to free himself, return to earth and gain some respect. 07-Jul-2023
Fright (1971)

It predated classics that trumped it. It was a template for the future. It was also a piece of junk. It was a film full of ideas that had to bombastically announce them. Michael Myers lived in a multi-verse where Laurie Strode "is" his sister. He kidnaps her, a baby, rapes her in front of the child and recoils until he's horny again. Did she give birth to Michael Myers, Jr. from multi-verse Halloweens? There was a glimmer of Joker's "dance with the devil" choreography. It made babysitting a shitty job. The privileged are forced to hire child haters. The child was adorable even when being manhandled by all sorts of creepy adults. The house is where you want to film it, Susan George didn't need to act and everybody needed to tone it down. 04-Jul-2023
Porn Theatre (2004)

Before social media, gay men congregated in straight porn theaters for sex and sympathy. They made money, were entertained, became excited, desired, it curbed loneliness and they got to fuck some woman's husband. Drags, trans and sissy boys roamed the theater like rats, scurrying around, scoping the cheese and avoiding the light while cheese daddy sat still with his legs wide open, waiting to be licked clean for respect and/or money. Street King Daddy shit. Sex is thrust upon us. It makes the impact real. The hunt is on. Sexual simulation stimulated when real or fake. Conversations skillfully explained where the community was at. Some of the players counted how many big dicks they sucked that night. Were they given a discount? The ticket manager was a sad hetero too old to attract a fuck. She thinks that convincing a gay crush to marry her would become an arrangement they both could enjoy. I could see it as a Broadway musical. It takes very little time to establish character purpose and that's great for the film. It provides the map to how we got here. 27-Jun-2023
There's Something Wrong With The Children (2023)

Mixed raced couples spend a weekend away with each other and their latino kids. Things go awry when they hit a cave on their hike with a luminous hole that only attracts the attention of children, even though it later states that adults can go in it too. The only thing that changes after the incident is that the kids stop being snarky and in charge. They turn robotic, obedient and deadly, sort of. The friends start accusing each of things real and induced by vagina magic. The men react off-key and don't have much of a bond. The women have a hypocritical relationship. Telling the truth only applies if they're drunk, tested or just can't stand each other. The mother blaming her friend for the death of her child rang. The children don't scare and revenge is unfulfilled. I thought putting a little sombrero and poncho on the siblings would not have necessarily scared us but it would've created iconic characters, like Freddie. The scariest things arise from stereotypes, not hate. 23-Jun-2023
Gantz:0 (2016)

Some of the realism popped. An Alexa prototype is god to mankind and can gift life and restore earth's biggest dilemma. There are monsters running amok, conquering earth and no human to contain them. The monsters amaze like boss battles but the characters are srtipped of personality. Why are there monsters running loose? How does Alexa resurrect us? Are the monsters left or right? Can a man fuck a girl back to life by winning the game? (Love the hair effect.) 22-Jun-2023
Black Mirror (2023-)

S6E1. Joan Is Awful is fun until buffoonery steps in. I refused to change my brain frequency to understand it. S6E2. Diversity appeared out of sorts in a Scottish mystery that was dull, basic and predictable. I couldn't wait for it to end. E3. Beyond the Sea. I didn't have to pretend my mathematical rationality was misfiring. Perfectly constructed and understandable. The actors leant it broadway huff and puff. The watts illuminated emotional longing. Aaron Paul had an opportunity to steal and he took it, succeeding in hosting more than one spirit. Josh Hartnett plugs sweaty emotion into an astronaut whose reason for life has ended. Kate Mara is an other. The era suits Mara and her beautiful chops. S6E4. Mazey Day. Resembling Brittney Spears is not reason enough to grant a stranger mercy. S6E5. Trash that you shuck out the window after inspecting it. Beyond The Sea was the exception to mediocrity. It was great. 18-Jun-2023
Danny Thomas Show, The (1953-1965)

There seems to be silence on the legacy of this classic sitcom. It started as Make Room For Daddy and mushroomed into The Danny Thomas Show. I saw all of the latter and only a handful of the other. The actress playing his wife, in the first half, had disdain for the man and it showed. Her composure did not scream nurturing, romantic or in love. Wrong place for the wrong actress. Danny played a version of himself. He was a singer/comedian who worked nightclubs. Jabbing at Danny's Lebanese culture was open, respectful and knowledgable. Lucy & Desi were his parents (friends) and Dick Van Dyke was his cousin (spin-off.) The show was blessed with energetic ideas, comic genius and non-stop showmanship. Danny must have learned how Lucy did it because he found his cute and sarcastic wit. Second wife was glamorous, vindictive, funny and hot. Marjorie Lord went shopping with Lucy Ricardo, cooked in fashion, got him in the mood and plotted her revenge in a very elegant and comical manner. The son is a scene stealer. Even when he made a mistake he diverted it with more funny. His adorability peaked in his tweens and crashed in his teens but he had a memorable run. Funny as fuck. The daughter was a prime teen that left before her character became unbearable. She had her moments. Louise was the household maid that was played by two elder pros. She got to hug white children, gossip with the wife, celebrate as a family member and sass the boss. A proud black woman. She isn't in all the episodes but the character remained til the end. The guest stars were numerous. The writers succeeded in incorporating them into strong storylines. The topics were basic, like feminism, how men can't do anything right, a woman can do anything men can do, a gift abolishes snarls and make-up sex is her way of accepting an apology. Penny from Lost In Space enters as a cute sister moppet that was supposed to bring adorability and sunshine. She was a work in progress. She laughs during line readings and when Mr. Thomas is doing his thing. She's cute and annoying. He was a great teacher, though. He hands a season to his working buddy and his domineering wife, played by the original Ursula from the Little Mermaid. It was an odd experiment giving supporting players full reign. They had to fill really big shoes and were no longer the sitcom air freshener. Ursula flopped around like she was getting paid to play charades on land. She was a bit too much. Danny was a ham. He sang in almost every episode. He shoved it down our throats but was so adamant and easy going that we learned to accept it and stopped praying that he didn't sing in the next episode. They had minorities galore and a successful run from the 50s through the 60s. Well-written, comical, consistent and timeless. One of a kind. Why don't we ever celebrate it? 06-Jun-2023
Muted (2023-) 

As soon as I confused the boyfriend with the main character, I booked. Dude, I thought his marks were fake. Wow, he looked better in the past. Boo, I just insulted a person. They were both lovelies. I was watching on a different wavelength. I didn't want to have to rethink my imaginary flashbacks. The lady in charge of investigation hinted that it was schlock anyway. 31-May-2023