All Posts Tagged as 'Accidental Watch'
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Claudelle Inglish (1961)
Farmer's daughter is in full bloom and her scent is driving all the boys/men crazy. The most beautiful boy in the world yanks the flower from its stem, treats her real nice and gets engaged to her before his deployment. Claudelle's mother is the most disgusted wife in America. She loathes the hard work, 20 years of false promises and humiliating poverty. Claudelle's boy may be beautiful but he's a sucker farmer like daddy. Mother wanted better for her daughter. She deserved gifts, pampering and immunity. Girl doesn't care he's poor. She's in love. Daddy agrees. He is a romantic loser who thinks that memories of courting his wife are enough to survive hardship. Beautiful boy spends a year in the army, romantic letters ensue and tragic news upsets her future. The town boys/men pounce. She negates then accepts. Her scent becomes toxic. Every present was a reminder of how far she went. Her room was stacked. Her dad had a humiliating conversation with his boss about marrying his daughter. The boss was older than daddy and the reason the family were poor. I'm assuming that Claudelle slept with every father and son in town except for her dad and the Reverend. My mouth was agape at every sharp turn. Claudelle did as mother said and used sex to liberate herself of men because men are victims of promises they can't keep. 20-Apr-2021
Dad, You're Embarrassing Me! (2021-)
Dad encourages daughter by pervading her life. Jamie Foxx' craft rolls like dice. He can be brilliant when he is focused and parented but left on his own his goofball can turn insufferable. He's fit, old fashioned beyond his years, paints side characters with no cracks or chips and no revelry and allows tight jeans with a mighty bulge to outshine him. He never embarrasses his daughter like the title says. He kept the bulge intimate. It's not the 80s. They missed out on comedic reactions from anyone besides his daughter. Please. The support is ready to do something. Only good writing can give it to them. Foxx is embarrassing his daughter by not gifting her a better show. I don't recognize any souls in this family. 19-Apr-2021
Fallen Idol, The (1948)
Ambassador's kid has the run of the mansion and the staff whilst the parents are away. The butler is a hero to the kid because he regales him with stories of how he murdered people in self-defense, allows him treats and spends quality time. Mrs. Butler is a stern enforcer, a mother sub slapper who fries animals and is scary film fun. Butler is having an affair that the child is privy to. The lady is introduced to the boy as the butler's "niece." The three go on outings together. Boy likes niece. Boy is having fun. The boy's slip of the tongue tips Mrs. Butler. She plots. Someone dies. The boy doesn't understand when to lie or tell the truth. The boy's isolation and loneliness happens in big spaces where the adults fuss over him but don't listen to a word he says. Grand camera work boosts everything. It's a trial of a little boy who was fed a pack of lies and whose wrong perception of adult things fucked them all up. 18-Apr-2021
Craft Legacy (2020)
It gets down to business. Three practicing high school witches need a fourth to obtain their full powers. Enter nondescript beauty and all their dreams come true. We celebrate and we vow then realize that like masturbation, the power is ours. People don't share well. Too many ideas that were worth exploring that remained untouched. Nicholas Galitzine is worth enthralling but the reasoning didn't make sense. He was too infatuated to warrant one. Though the twists were a treat, it needed revenge craft. Lots of bloody hell of it. 05-Apr-2021
Pleasantries are spoiled by disappointments. It parodies all fairytales then drenches them with honey. Wilmer Valderrama is drawn like a long faced witch with big dick attitude and no substance. The brides are Godzilla stupid but the music is nice and the singing is delightful. Long-faced cartoons are not charming. 05-Apr-2021
Blood Moon (2021)
This is an almost horror classic because it built good character relationships but sidestepped showing us the horror. Most scares evolved from the predicament of the main characters which added some suspense but the director was afraid to delve into action. Too bad. We all missed out. 29-Mar-2021
90 Day Fiance (2014-)
"The Boy" read the Russian incantation that turns him into a doll during his wedding ceremony. Mike seems to be the only cast member to have understood the irony of The Americans. Natalie freaked out about the fat fuck not marrying her like they were giving out Emmys for it. "Best Outburst By A Communist" in the reality TV genre. 28-Mar-2021
It no longer seems viable that the main purpose of the show is to celebrate interracial marriage. It's a business contract. Men who have trouble corralling local women have to go abroad to find a strong woman willing to give them what a man needs and able to fight to keep it true. More babies; more man freedom. Unfortunately for man, women are evolving all over the world and man has no time to ponder. They nag as much as the American bitches.
A woman with power fishes overseas because she needs to feel like a woman again by the crude affections of a foreign alpha with a penchant for America, sex, shackling, expensive gifts and more money. I don't think getting your head chopped off for an orgasm is worth it but... They all deserve each other.
(P.S. Did Julia call "The Boy" a doll? Awesome. He's turning.) 01-Mar-2021
Natalie and Mike's ferocious mother. Natalie turned into WandaVision for one night and it was glorious. Does her country allow her to be this independent and vocal? She was on a mission to get what she deserves. Mama came onboard to judge. Both women were hardheaded. Mama Ferocious smeared Rachel with butter and slapped her son with a tail and an elephant moniker. They were Avengers united in the quest to do what's best for Mike. Unload him/inherit him. Brava! Rachel won the day and our hearts. Has she? Madame Meow and her son. Meow forgot to check the other ten phones he's hiding at his girlfriend's house. He's setting her up and she is letting him. Why? It's dangerous to conceive that her actions are ok because she likes it. Andrew and Amira. Nasty, dude. Maybe what The Boy needs on the farm is a man. 26-Jan-2021
Block Island Sound, The (2020)
Wildlife is dying rapidly, daddy is acting strange, daughter has returned to investigate and brother is losing it. A conspiracy theorist is onboard to tell us what creativity can't show us and another sister joins to hate, mostly her brother. The ending is "WhyTF did I waste my time watching this shit?" 25-Mar-2021
Deadly Illusions (2021)
Kristin Davis helms an asinine parent who hires a vibrant and stainless nanny to temporarily raise her children whilst she finishes her novel. With the children occupied, mama is able to walk the town freely, jump naked in the pool, smoke cigars, drink and get her labia lip smacked by a teenaged nanny. The sex isn't for exploration. It's cold and unimportant because the sex tease is an excuse to keep us interested and fooled. The nanny spends as much time with the kids as the parents. Where the fuck were those kids? Daddy exists to spill his juice and to pantomime what a real man looks like. It all culminates like "Fatal Attraction" trash with old daddy fighting for his life in a shower, wearing only a towel. Embarrassingly funny. 23-Mar-2021
Acapulco Shore (2014-)
The men are supreme alpha dogs. The girls keep tripping on penis and alcohol on their way to womanhood. Welcome to a fucker's paradise. The sexes loathe each other as much as the American version except the Mexican men are allowed to call the women messy, hairy and girlish whores as the women are free to be messy, hairy and girlish whores. 18-Mar-2021
Trial Of The Chicago 7, The (2020)
Courtroom dramas are much like potted plants. Dig, roll, splash and seed until it sprouts but the main focus is always the plant. The plant in this case is politics. I felt encapsulated by the premise, its ego and a lack of sympathetic elaboration. Cohen worked tirelessly on Hoffman the comic but not the man. Daddy Strong turned off his eye bright. It would have captured Rubin's forever boy glint. He may have been high all the time but in interviews he was lit. There were times Redmayne lost his breath trying to take reign of his American accent which made me fear it. Mark Rylance set it up masterfully and Frank Langella commandeered it beautifully. The script was sharp but it was mostly business and no play. Politics wait for no one. A lot more fun would have been nice. 16-Mar-2021
Dying rich old fart with regrets decides to enroll in a new experiment where they transfer your brain onto Ryan Reynolds body. The director doesn't allow the old man to play with himself as soon as he's alone as Reynolds. Bummer. It's a grim and bumpy ride. I thought the ending was sweet but I wish I hadn't seen it coming halfway in. Not worth the bullets or the destruction. 09-Mar-2021
Garbage that falls to earth from space causing peculiarities in the environment and people. The sap is so gooey it won't allow the drama to unfold. Every ten or fifteen minutes it's asking for tears or sympathy. That's too much. Why does the investigator supply such definite answers? Can't we take a gander at it and they write it in naturally, later? Not even daddy perk butt can seduce me to stay. 08-Mar-2021
Princess O'Rourke (1943)
Princess that feels like a bird in a cage gets rescued by a pilot when she overdoses on sleeping pills during a flight. The save frees her unto the real world where she suffers from a lack of talent besides waving, dressing fancy and waiting for a royal stallion to impregnate her with boys. The legends are luminous trotting a sound comedy beat and unrolling an escapist romance. The story turns politically dark after the reveal as the man realizes that with a woman in power comes great servitude. 07-Mar-2021
Casados Con Hijos (2004-)
Married With Children adapted for Colombian TV. The cast and writers are frying the American version in nastiness. They break all the rules that we police. Al is ridiculous and mama makes Peggy proud. Bud fucks his uncle's wife before the wedding and Kelly literally fucks the whole town. It's free, it's stupid, it makes me laugh before singing me to sleep. There's nothing like family. 06-Mar-2021