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TV Posts Tagged as 'Accidental Watch'

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God Forbid (2022) Whimper

It makes fun of itself before we get a chance to. Mockumentary is its misplaced inspiration. When pool boy recounts his sexual encounters with mommy and daddy pastor he edges close enough to wink and fuck the camera. He was dying to show us his dick. Privileged beauty is bought for an unsatisfied housewife and a latent homosexual. When beauty tries to break his contract, god's disciples rebel which god's beauty avenges. The Trump years were exhausting and felt like a foreboding comeback. Pool boy's sister had way too many things to say about her brother's prowess. Tom Arnold makes a cameo. Religion is a business. 02-Nov-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Celebrity, Doc, Drama, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Lifestyle, Over the Top, Politics, Religion, Star Watt, Tacky, Trashy, Weird

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02-Nov-2022


Insiders (2021) Arf

Future homeless are secured in a glass house to compete in an experiment that has them auditioning to win money and fame. Nothing is what it seems. The actors are award winning, the contestants are frantic and the host is a delicacy. The cruelty is unbelievable. Reactions from participants are placed above their mental health. I questioned the point of the experiment. Did it want to show us how maladjusted all representation is? Are we all to blame for life's fallacies? They make you think, kill, fuck, fake, think, kill, cry, fuck, fake, rage. When emotions run high we get to see the kind of homeless they will become. The producers' fuckery is set to get inside our heads by inhabiting media stereotypes. Yo, I think it works. It's a Ring type thing. Once you watch it your cells start to die. But the host is so fabulous and I want to see more pocket daddy legs. Yeah, I'm fucked. 24-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Funny, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Over the Top, Pitchy, Preposterous, Psychological, Questionable, Reality, Revenge, Sex, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Twisty, Warbly, Weird, Wit Crack, World, Writ Tough

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24-May-2022


Welcome To Eden (2022) Whimper

Younglings disabled on an island made to specifically serve two people. They are climate changers choosing nature over life. Death shall come to all except the ones who fight it. The mythology is not sensible or sustainable. The island surveils people without audio. The audio is everything. So poor. The boys are pretty in every sense and the girls are protein shakes. The relationships usurped all the interest that kept us glued to the nonsense. 19-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Disappointment, Drama, Foreign, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, LGBTQ, Overcooked, Psychological, Warbly, Words Spoke

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19-May-2022


Ex On The Beach (2014-) BitesDowngrade

It's uncomfortable watching gay boys creeping on girls. A woman has no safety zones. We end up feeling sorry for her and hating him. My generation was very proud of its identification and it's preference. We had an unwritten contract. The point of being gay was to retire vagina. This generation confuses itself. It confuses me. It confuses everybody. 17-May-2022
S5E2. Love means having to say you're sorry, a lot. The only thing holding a black woman down is her cheating membrane of a boyfriend. Are ragers who splash people with drinkable liquids pool owners? This asshole wants to know. Bisexuals proved synonymous with hypocrisy. A gay preference disguised as an accident is no reason to fuck up a trans life. Trans needs a do over. We've already established that wet dog dos are out. A man pretending to be more than a bisexual is a pervert who fucks little children. 10-Apr-2022
S4E12. The only people stopping gays from advancing is other gays. Imagine if other gays didn't exist. How happy we'd all be. Adore's ex compared her smell to a llama. I was supposed to insert an inappropriate joke but since I'm not officially a comedian, I looked it up to be sure. They have no odor and you can make beans out of their poop. They're always lying down and won't crap in bed or on the bus. Ok. Why does the ex have the smell of a llama memorized? Does he fuck them? What a day old bagel. The mini bagel had a Superman ex try to sweep her off her feet and away from Joker except all she saw was Two-Face. Half of his face was gorgeous. The everything bagel got fucked when his bagel fell on the floor for more than five-seconds and three people tried to eat it. Just for fun, the lesbian is a toasted bagel with lox and extra cheese. 09-Apr-2022
S4E10. Wow, the guy with the fake piano teeth made it. How can you resist the "I'm going to break your heart and fuck your pussy" swag? The cis man considers LGBTQ the handmaidens of sex. Promise the alpha good sex and he'll treat you like a handmaiden. Is the lesbian legal? The black "everything bagel" jock will be exposing his dick like a trophy to babies in a future verse. If we're going to teach sex ed in schools we should commence with a speech on how everybody is going to cheat on your fucking ass because you will probably suck at sex or snore. 08-Apr-2022
S4E1. Chronicling the lives of loser exes on a frozen beach. The producers found men that would risk their straight asses for love. Transvestites, drag queens and lesbians unite. The lesbian is granted male toxicity status because her big dick is plastic. A white man got all Will Smith when he noticed his black compatriot with a piano keys mouth. He is going to slap the fakeness out of them. 06-Apr-2022

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Comedy, Emasculating, Fun Acting, Gay, Hilarious, Horror, Incomprehensible, Insecurities, Insulting, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Preposterous, Psychological, Representing, Romance, Sex, Stupid Funny, Trashy, Wig Crack

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17-May-2022


Ultimatum, The (2022) WhimperUpgradeArf

Reunion. How did Nick Lachey get so pink? He looks like fried pork. I love fried pork. Sweet and sour and a dash of soy sauce. Yum. Vanessa disguises her witchcraft well. I'm almost beguiled. I get it. He's almost to the point where he doesn't remember Marvel movies. Take all his money and drop out of the hemisphere. Pregnancies are the pathway to a cheating man's heart. "He aint fucking no raptor in lingerie. No Way!" Why do bisexuals keep sneaking around? It's 2022. Are they perverts? Someone came out as a lesbian and I guessed it because the curls in her hair stopped bouncing. I knew there was something askew. Beautiful giants need to stop raging on women that record them doing what giants were born to do. It's not a giant's fault that women aren't with it. Lesbians need to stop pretending they like small cocks on giant men. Braids on a man never looked more Groot. Pretty other thing got criticized on national TV for not keeping his mate from going full lesbian. Dude, that's rough. He's so pretty. Love is the easiest thing to replace, just close your eyes...and wish it bigger. Gigolos will appear with free tickets to nowhere. 16-Apr-2022
S1E1. The quickest way to get your partner to acquiesce to children and marriage is to dump them. Works every time. They don't need to go on a stupid reality show. Isn't that what the Lacheys stated at the beginning of the show? 11-Apr-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Daddy Squish, Drama, Emasculating, Entertainment, Fantasy, Home Improvement, Psychological, Romance, Sex, Timid, Wit Crack

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16-Apr-2022


Grammy Awards (2022) Whimper

Tevor Noah is no longer a comedian. He patched his tongue and made fun of Brady Bunch things. If a singer arrives in a rolls royce to deliver an "I don't care" message to an ex, she's a stalker. Gaga suffered from unflattering songs. The boys established an afro contest. Yum. Nobody ever burned my hair like that! Tevor Noah comes in second because he moans in accent. Bruno Mars wins the afro daddy contest. I'll massage his roots until he climaxes or I pull them all out. The rock n roll lesbian with Sharon Stone looks was awesome. Jon Batiste wins third. Yeah, I want to see if I can reach his afro before he cums. We must stop promoting people to be themselves because that might include "I want to slap you!" 03-Apr-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Award, Cancellation, Choices, Comedy, Entertainment, Hollywood, Insecurities, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Musical, Politics, Questionable, Tired

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03-Apr-2022


Super Password (1984-2014) ArfUpgradeWoof

Season One. The season ended as soon as a new vibe was being created. Bert Convy never had a guest star that could surpass him. They were fading stars biding their time until the next best thing. Betty White was a legend never too large for the little people. A trooper of respect and salacious charm, she seemed confused by the new rules. It wasn't her best. I understand. I have a list of horrible words I never want to hear either. The players learned to cheat their way out of complicated puzzles by rhyming. Arf! I can listen to dings, buzzers and RPG town music all day. Bert Convy made us care as soon as he dropped his pretty boy facade and embraced his dirty boy bitch. I will miss you, my afro queen. 13-Mar-2022
The birth of the RPG musical score. 11-Mar-2022
At 14, I entered a beauty salon and asked the stylist to give me an afro like Bert Convy. They took me to an "out of the way" room where special lights constantly fried my hair. Twenty minutes later... with a whiff of matches and dreams of electrocutions, a dingy staff returned to inform me that my afro was done. No warnings. No stylings. They gifted me a pick to take home and train my hair to kink. I did not know burning hair was necessary for "the perfect appropriation." I felt my scalp shrinking. WTF. It precipitated baldness. My fro did not end up "hot," it was very Buckwheat. I preferred being in-between like Bert Convy. Another dream ruined by too much culture mis-awareness. 08-Mar-2022
Nobody game-showed Hamlet like Bert Convy. The whitest host to sport an afro becomes addictive. I must have been "living life" during this era. I remember none of this. The clues are atrocious and the game is fucking difficult. WTF. I don't understand them. Yo, but check out the afro on that white host. He's so cute. 06-Mar-2022

Tags: 1980s, 2010s, Accidental Watch, Daddy Squish, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Game Show, Reality, Star Watt, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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13-Mar-2022


Michael Landon: The Father I knew (1999) Arf

They asked a 6'3" player to act like a 5'9" giant dipper. Only women can feel the difference. Boy dreams of his celebrity father becoming a hero at home instead of inserting more strangers into his life. Celebrity boy rebels against father after daddy divorces the family for fresh "baby smell" poultry. The first time I witnessed a race to grandpa's lap crotch was the last time I blinked during any of the games. No offense Little Landon, but if you inherited his crotch, you'll be fine. 27-Feb-2022

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Bio, By the Numbers, Crapfun, Fun, Funny, Overcooked, Pitchy, Preachy, Relationships, Silly, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Basic

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27-Feb-2022


Pam & Tommy (2022) Woof

Bad karma comes for a goddess sexually devoured by a demon. Tommy Lee was gifted with hand coordination, skinny genes, okay face, crazy hair, insecurity tattoos and a large dick. He's drying out and she's washing ashore. Little daddy has dickish ways that compels people to put him on a "do not disturb" list. Sebastian Stan finds his inner asshole. He plays a dickilicious horndog like a thespian. I wanted to lick every inch of his physical imperfections. Lily James was aware that Pamela Anderson was a gullible and bubble headed person because that is how the writers conceived her. Stan and James are fun, rock underwear looks a lot like gay underwear, the appendage was stupid and inaccurate, when it talked it got smaller and none of Seth Rogen's shenanigans seemed feasible. He's still a funny fucker though. Gutter white trash with money, beauty, some talent and porn tapes. Karma ate them up for enjoying sex. 24-Feb-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Over the Top, Overcooked, Preposterous, Pretty, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Tight

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24-Feb-2022


Joe Millionaire: For Richer Or Poorer (2022-) Woof

The Joes met the ladies' families. The organization could not release any family members of cartel girl due to safety concerns so they sent a muscle disguised as a GBFF. He was hilarious. One of the fathers became horny and cringey. He warned the Joes about his daughter's "down there" and nobody flinched. A spider? What? One of the Joe's thought the gay dads were strippers. What else would they be? They were good looking. 18-Feb-2022
The semi Joes eliminated the girl whose makeup couldn't hide her age. Hahaha. 03-Feb-2022
There is no one to explore except cartel girl. Mother demands that Tarzan Joe, her future baby daddy with no money, spare her all the attention, even if he's fondling another. Unfortunately, fondling is not acceptable if its done to your face. Cartel girl is desperate. She gets a call from the boss threatening to cancel baby feedings if she doesn't nab that millionaire. Meanwhile, the iguanas are falling from the skies. The men imprinted their preferences and I hope a smart woman remembers them. "The less make-up the better or young, goldiggers are just finger fucks, children are an item and men don't give a shit." - Joe Millionaire 29-Jan-2022
The unbalanced black flat chick ended her rage after it was discovered that she was too mentally unwell (she spoke truths that insane people don't want to hear). White people like to have fun. They don't whine if their hair frizzes up like their foe. They just reinvent it. The latin mother is so obsessed with her conquest that it feels like she has a cartel up her ass forcing her to do so. Adios. My pecker is like a compass and the needle is not pointing to either Joe. Can we bring original Joe in? He may be a hideous bear now but I'm sure he can still make slurps sing. 23-Jan-2022
It took two bachelors to add up to one Joe Millionaire. The original's historical "slurp around the world" was magnificence. My pecker picked the poor one until I got to know him then I switched. Tarzan hair is fun but he's such a pendejo. He has no sexual entitlement. Cowboy Cheeky is fuckable in a Chucky kind of way. He has a bubbly ass. In my day, they would have called the contestants, escapees from mental institutions. A desperate "housewife to be" decides to wear the same dress as another contestant. Neither chose to "rock" the shitty dress and left it up to the millionaire to decide which tacky slut filled it the least. It depends how gay the men are. Black girl gets drunk and starts feeling used. She goes on a rant. White girls are not having it so they plot. Mothers of America. Shame on You! You've turned your daughters into dumb sluts competing for basic. Original Joe hands. Classic. 10-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Comfort Food, Cowboy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Emasculating, Fake, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hilarious, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Predictable, Preposterous, Psychological, Reality, Revenge, Romance, Scary, Showy, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Tough, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Tough

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18-Feb-2022


Single's Inferno (2021-) Woof

A different culture with precise goals, criticisms and charisma. It's the Bob Ross of reality dating shows because it illuminates everything, casts a spell and mansplains why men should exist in an established manner within slow strokes of genius. Bob Ross created trees from memory and turned landscapes into blossoms. I did not get accustomed to their tradition until I turned English dub on. I could memorize the texture of their speech and apply it to their emotions. It made me respect the nuances of a quiet nation, laugh and hurt with them and not get as angry. 14-Feb-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Egotistical, Emasculating, Fake, Foreign, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Overcooked, Pitchy, Predictable, Pretty, Psychological, Reality, Sentimental, Tacky, Writ Tough

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14-Feb-2022


Floribama Shore (2017-) Arf

James Corden is still trying to break into big time TV. Good accent though. Gus with the luscious hair demonstrated how naughty he can get with a male sexual client. Dreamy blowjobs? Bizarro Superman tried fucking Gus with his little rock dick but Gus complained it didn't complete his fantasy. He was kicked out of the fortress of solitude, where everything was easy and free and becomes resentful. Bumblebee stirred some fights but was defeated by hillbillydom. Aimee is Ruth from Ozark wishing for something that aint going to happen to happen. Nilsa is the mother of ignorance ready to pop as soon as her boyfriend stops accommodating her. 12-Feb-2022

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Cliche, Cultural, Drama, Reality, Relationships, Sex, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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12-Feb-2022


Hype House (2021-) Arf

A bunch of "could haves" combine business interests with personal relationships. The scheme collapses as soon as a "could have" becomes an "almost." The group may be responsible for creating a Beyonce but Beyonce owes them nothing. The commonality is that all the victims have been emotionally denied by someone important. The babies get lots of attention and money for doing very little. They are the future prostitute. Head twink is going ballistic because his partner is becoming famous and he's looking older. Connive he must. A bowl of white pretty boys, a plate of girls swooning and mouthfuls of queer things exaggerating everything, are the shared focus. Gay bleached boy calls out trans bestie for acting black on social media even though he's black and acts Puerto Rican. His gay friends are white who act black and can't be bothered with full drag. The trans pays to make her fantasies come true but is the loneliest. She can't afford to be real. The babies live in fear of cancellation. The pretty white twinks rule the roost with confidence and the thought that they will eventually get cooked, burnt and flamed out. No success in the world can replace the scars their families placed on them. It's the kids turn to tell parents how they're doing. "Yo, they fucked up and we're going to tell the whole world." If they're not happy now, they never will be. These are the great grandparents of the people Adam Mckay wants to save. Ha! 08-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Cliche, Corn, Crapfun, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Gay, Gay Swatch, Political, Predictable, Pretty, Reality, Relationships, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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08-Jan-2022


Succession (2018-) HowlUpgrade

S3. Daddy Prince of Darkness battles Daddy Succession Supreme. Every "fuck" made me hard, every "you" made me cum. Daddies were exploding beautifully. Women sewed their own armor. Shiv is beloved, mother is a cunt, Geri is the family dog, Roman is a mutt, Tom is bewildering, Willa keeps up, Connor won't give up, Greg is a kitten and Mencken is a game. The fight would add up to very little if the top masters didn't emote so precisely. Daddy Succession bleeds every decision to keep his dynasty and children afloat. All he wants is respect. Daddy Prince is impatient about the future. He wants to be woke, now, when it matters. Daddy S knows better. Daddy P always gets what he wants because Daddy S spoiled him. There is a study of art that defines Daddy P because of his intensity but when he calms and speaks his pathetic truth, we want to fuck him, again. Yes, his pathetic is even hotter than his cocky. It's called parenting. The writers convey our thoughts instead of our speak because, in reality, we can't do so. But we would like to. We are not animals in cages. You cage the word and the animal comes out. Let it speak. The show spoke, delivered whoppers, kept to its guns and secured a successful season. 20-Dec-2021
Daddy suffering (Ken) hijacked it with an hilarious rap and alpha domination. I like to hear Shiv, I like to say Shiv, I love to watch Shiv. Holly Hunter (Rhea) is the clamped whisperer. When she nips it she doesn't let go. Tom shreds himself to death attempting to bare the soul of a character that rarely sees it. Culkin plays his character like he has no dick. Funny. Nobody messes with daddy. Writers that want to keep their jobs and a production that keeps on pushing it. It consummates on a boat big enough to fit two Below Decks in it. It was all about respect. 08-Aug-2020
The best corporate fuckers on TV. 06-Aug-2020
A malted shake with only whipped cream. That's a lot of protein. 24-Jul-2020
S1E3 found daughters giving handjobs, alphas verifying status on staircases and daddies snapping their tongues. I am no longer floating, my feet are firmly planted. 18-Oct-2019
Exposing how the family dynamic exploit each other for success. The sticks have returned:

Brian Cox - daddy doesn't need a stick

Nicholas Braun (Greg) - he'll carry anyone's stick

Alan Ruck (Connor Roy) - he licks them

Kieran Culkin (Roman Roy) - he shoves them up his nose

J Smith-Cameron - she's not carrying anyone's stick

Jeremy Strong (Kendall Roy) - alpha in the making swings his own. 18-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, From Another Planet, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Political, Psychological, Relationships, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writer's Peak

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20-Dec-2021


Coming Out Colton (2021-) WhimperUpgradeArf

The doc is about a lost boy who discovered his sexuality and needs to establish his purpose. His rock of friends are keeping him planted in religion and suburban magic. The gays just want to have sex. All the time. Every fucking minute of their lives. Colton is an alpha looking for daddy hugs. Daddies like babies. The classic gays add to the confusion. No one tells this young man the truth. Successful relationships don't occur that often, the more you fuck the farther you get from that lane. Colton's attention span is limited. He appears as if the person recounting their history is speaking a different language and maybe they are. He doesn't fit anywhere and that's ok. Gus Kenworthy could not contain himself and flirted with Colton's hot dad. That was a real gay moment. 09-Dec-2021
Boy, does he ever. Colton blames the lack of good character on being a bottled gay. The series portrays coming out as a self-involved beauty pageant. I told my mother and she told the rest. Done. That's how latinos do it. I also told her over the phone so she wouldn't hit me. The family is cold. Relationships are strained. He has support because they need to continue riding the success wave in order to survive. Coming out is not the real story. Staying "in" is. 03-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Drama, Fatigue, Gay, Hot Swatch, Out of Place, Political, Reality, Relationships, Tacky, Weird, Writ Basic

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09-Dec-2021




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