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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Accidental Watch'

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A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish (2019)  Arf

Cindy fends an exploitative Jenner stepmom and abominable Kardashian sisters. The music is cute, the twink prince can break daddy dick and crush virgin vagina and its existence is Christmas cheer. Adorable! 24-Nov-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Corn, Crapfun, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Pretty, Relationships, Sentimental, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

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24-Nov-2020


Sputnik (2020) Woof

After completing a space mission, an inexplicable disturbance causes two cosmonauts to crash land back to earth. One is faceless and comatose and the other has a symbiotic alien attached to him. A female doctor about to lose her license is coerced into psychoanalyzing the subject who has no memory or idea that an alien host resides within him. Her job is to cause scientific history by safely separating them. The alien arises during deep sleep and survives the length of an hour outside the cosmonaut. The alien is fiercely freaky and a bloodthirsty asshole. The surprises don't queef, the actors command and the whole is a serious Venom. The Russians may serve their drinks cold but their hearts beat warm. 22-Nov-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Foreign, Good Idea, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Mystery, Relationships, SciFi, Sentimental, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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22-Nov-2020


Smurfs: The Lost Village (2017) Bites

Surprise. Eliminating Hank Azaria as Gargamel does not make a Smurf franchise better. Besides being objectified, gangbanged and being a procreator, Smurfette is confused about her purpose. She goes on an unenviable adventure to find herself amid little care from the audience. The best stories do not have big bang adventures. They stay close to home so we can empathize with them. Girl Smurf explores and becomes at Lesbian Forest but returns to Smurf Village for the bangs. Sounds about right. 09-Nov-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action Stomper, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Corn, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Fantasy, Fatigue, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Tacky, Vague, Weird

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09-Nov-2020


Beneath Us (2019) Arf

Thrifty white suburbanites hire cute daddy Mexicans to complete house renovations. The offer of money is the fundamental key to keep the men in line and violence is the action that keeps them on the job. Cruelty compensates for a lack of psychological study but the message is loud and clear. Don't work for white people. 06-Nov-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Over the Top, Political Satire, Revenge, Scary, Suspense, Thriller, Violent, Words Spoke

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06-Nov-2020


Bad Hair (2020) Arf

Girl gives in to the establishment of success and gets a weave. The essence of the owner lives in the hair and it has a thirst for blood. The film is campily set and perfectly cast, utilizing every 80s fashion tragedy to funny effect. Vanessa Williams arrives to chew scenery and she eats divinely. Elle Lorraine is the joke, the punchline and the effect. The knitting of the weave was excruciating and the hair sucking the blood flow from a dripping vagina was handy. 31-Oct-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action Fun, Camp, Comedy, Crapfun, Cute, Daddy Squish, Director Experiment, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Idea, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Scary, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tacky, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

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31-Oct-2020


Thing, The (2011) Woof

The prequel follows Carpenter's roadmap to the letter. It doesn't interrupt and it doesn't reinvent. Its purpose is to continue. The difference it serves is a stunning CGI monster that places the film in the sci-fi horror fun club. 29-Oct-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Brutal, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Gory, Horror, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Prequel, Scary, SciFi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Violent, Writ Tight

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29-Oct-2020


Squid And The Whale, The (2005) Howl

Parents with two boys inject a marital separation into their situations. Jeff Daniels is the bitter dad that can't forgive marital indiscretions and uses the separation to win favors with the boys by turning them against their mother. Jeff slices exasperation, vulgarity, intellectual banality and the boredom of an unloved family man into a soul. Laura Linney is the studied wife who will discuss very intimate things with her children without realizing the added pressure she's pushing on them. She wants to live the liberated life that comes from besting her competition (husband) in his writing career and shoving it in his face whilst searching anywhere else for an orgasm. Linney is at her organic best. Jesse Eisenberg is the teen who is not yet a dork, kinda cute but is still creepy. He's on a sexual plight that has been curbed because of his parents' public history. He is the reason for the title and even though he's a dick, his heart sells it. Owen Kline is chilly as the kid masturbating and smearing his cum all over school, calling his dad "assman," telling mom she's ugly, cursing, laying out panties and becoming an alcoholic. Everyone is so busy competing for the other's love that love never comes. A child wants to make a parent proud as much as they want to best them. Anna Paquin is daddy's student who awakens men's desires by being a pixie and writing explicit stories about her vagina. May the best dad or son win. It's frankness felt liberating, the script was witty and smart, it went by too fast and Billy Baldwin whipped his hair back and forth. 25-Oct-2020

Tags: 2000s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Relationships, Star Watt, Tough, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writing Reigns

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25-Oct-2020


Dora And The Lost City Of Gold (2019) Arf

Latin spunk, sense of adventure, poop songs, fart swamps, cousin flirtations, CGI friends and city ineptitude. It's Dora The Explorer. The parents (Pena/Longoria) are cute but their exploration days seem limited to couch surfing for leftover Tostitos to finish off their guacamole dip. Nancy Pelosi makes the most of her cameo by surprising as a jungle witch. (I kid.) It qualifies as a most craptacular stupid thing that makes a sad heart laugh. 25-Oct-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Camp, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultural, Cute, Director Insanity, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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25-Oct-2020


Valley Of Decision, The (1945) Howl

Impoverished daughter takes a job working for the owners of the steel mill that controls the town and whom father blames for his employment injury. Money is money, a job is an opportunity. Following Greer Garson bumbling and excelling at her job was cute, funny and "I'm proud of her." When the giant Peck acknowledges her, the passion begins and the charisma rockets. The closer the maid gets to her new family the farther away she gets from hers. I expected the romance to be histrionic but it was pensive and borrowed from real life. Unfortunately, love is constantly interrupted by employment strikes, demands, shutdowns and the threat of violence. Jessica Tandy was delicious as the runner-up who pecks at the competition 'til the bitter end. The surprises were eventful, the director kept pushing it and the conclusion is what it needed. 24-Oct-2020

Tags: 1940s, Accidental Watch, Action, Chemistry, Classic, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Elegance, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Political, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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24-Oct-2020


We Have Always Live In The Castle (2018) Whimper

Freak sister with a penchant for magic spells lives high up on a castle with her debutante sibling who has been exonerated for poisoning the parents and a wheelchair bound uncle with mental health splits. The town (downstairs) has granted them human cancellation and have a mass crowd conniption whenever the youngest witch comes down to shop. The debutante is a 50's housewife cloned with a Stepford. They may be the same thing. I don't know. There is no emotional understanding for the characters' overreaction. A whole town, except two people, want to destroy the younglings and their handi-capped uncle. If the town were made up of Janes then maybe I can digest that, maybe. Everybody has a heart, right? Alexandria Dadderio fit perfectly into a suit that was too refined for the story. We never get to see why she's agoraphobic or a robot. Sebastian Stan is Halloween candy, playing a long lost cousin who kindly visits to fuck with them. (Like protests.) Taissa Farmiga was hired because she is accomplished at giving an out of place character its reason for living. She was one oomph away. I didn't get it. 23-Oct-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Daddy Squish, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Indecipherable, Mystery, Predictable, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Vague, Words Spoke

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23-Oct-2020


Oluture (2019) Woof

A journalist joins the sex trade in an effort to expose the leading traffickers in their country. She meanders, manipulates, swags, snitches and avoids having sex. The men are crime kings who grab it, beat it, sell it, crumple it up and dump it (usually underground.) The suspense is agonizing because the hurt is real and we can't do much about it. It's "Cuties" horrifyingly grown up. 07-Oct-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Music Swings, Mystery, Political, Rapey, Revenge, Scary, Sentimental, Suspense, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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07-Oct-2020


Freaks (2020) Woof

It takes you to a place a superhero blockbusters rarely do. It analyzes how a superpower awakening affects everyday chores, emotions and people for better or worst. You can get yourself some cash, gain a lot of respect, kill a few people, cause a ruckus and wonder how it integrates with a personal life. The villains are born from misunderstanding and rejection. The heroes are thrust forward for its mistakes. I wish they had been granted the effects that the story aspired to but the message zapped through. 01-Oct-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Cultural, Director's Slice, Drama, Fantasy, Foreign, Funny, Hot Swatch, Relationships, SciFi, Sentimental, Suspense, Sweet, Timid Effects, Words Spoke

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01-Oct-2020


Strange But True (2019) Howl

Boy meets girl, prom virginity loss ensues, dream boy dies and, five years later, the girl is pregnant with his child. The drama is about the reveal and it rolls heavily towards it. There are flaws aplenty. I didn't understand why mama needed to go to the library to get information that seemed readily available on the internet and why they were hesitant to call 911 after evidence deemed it an emergency but the cliches are overwhelmed by mood, taste and bite. Blythe Danner is best actress support, Brian Cox succeeds in being someone else, Margaret Qualley emitted Emma Roberts realness plus hippie control, Allegra Fulton added some magic, Nick Robinson is a twink of the force and Kinnear smashed golden ass. The cast was great and the ending is all. 08-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Director's Art, Drama, Good Acting, Good Idea, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Mystery, Relationships, Scary, Subtle, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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08-Sep-2020


Last Ferry (2019) Early Exit

I didn't wait, I swam back. As soon as I heard gay clones spouting the word "thirsty," I was out. 03-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, Cold, Cultish, Dialogue Lament, Fatigue, Inactivity, Relationships, Tacky, Tedium, Timid

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03-Sep-2020


Beyond White Space (2018) Whimper

The inclination to watch was always interrupted by its gaming inspired poster. It looked like something you would play not watch. Obviously, it's description and my boredom tuned us in.

After decimating earth the next boost for humanity is to fuck up space. Away we go with pirates, thieves, anarchists, loveless, lawless and hopeless. Fun fact: I did not know space had crabs and no gays. The monsters are CGI identified on a two sided coin. The dialogue is full of those chemicals we don't want on our meat, the actors eating corn would have had the same effect and the director/editor stumbled by premeditating everything about to occur. The action sequences are as inspired as a preview before a game that never starts. 28-Aug-2020

Tags: Accidental Watch, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Predictable, Preposterous, Sap, SciFi, Tacky, Timid, Vague

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28-Aug-2020




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