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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Accidental Watch'

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Red Notice (2021) Woof

Red Notice fulfills "land of magic" type escapism. The writers created an intriguing caper and an enigmatic cast to play act it. Gal Gadot can act. Well. Daddy King Rock delighted in being the brunt of a joke, constantly, in fabulous fashion. Dickwad Reynolds steals it by being a cantankerous benevolent criminal who is also Deadpool. The director took advantage of its DCU historical significance and developed some solid characters. Heart tug. 11-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Adorable, Camp, Chemistry, Coincidence Laden, Comedy, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Cute, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fresh, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Revenge, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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11-Jan-2022


Wasteland, The (2021) Bites

I can't identify with a child that wakes his parents up so daddy can walk him to the latrine which is terrifyingly one block away. To piss. Why didn't he just piss in any corner of the house except where mama hangs laundry? It debates whether parents should compromise a boy's sensitivity by forcing him to become a man if the times deem it necessary. It's a future where woke people are forced to eat animals named Fluffy to survive. Suicidal grandpa daddy grants himself an early reprieve by getting a conscious in between bouts of "I don't give a shit! and "I want to die!" Daddy did not deserve a vacation. Mother madness is spooky with minimal slaps and torture towards children. She did good with killing animals, though. I didn't understand it. "The monster is made of trees, branches and bad lighting, maybe. You imagined the whole thing. You're just like us. Nuts." The child riled us up but the director couldn't give us a reason for any of it. 08-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Coincidence Laden, Dialogue Lament, Director Hands Off Approach, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Foreign: Spanish, Horror, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Wit Crack, Writer Weakness

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08-Jan-2022


Pinocchio (2019) Bites

Someone thought that realizing one of the most horrifying fairy tales to live film was a whimsical idea. The director wastes little time on magic and spends most of it on ugliness. He realized all the threats in a boy's life and all the insanity of the myth. A boy that really isn't a boy is considered a genderless fuck opportunity. Pedos prefer gender non-specific children because it's the baby smell they're after. Pinocchio is the perfect victim. Unique, beautiful, stupid, excited, rebellious and cooperative. The puppet gets enslaved, murdered, robbed, betrayed, hated, abused and exploited. Pinocchio cannot become a boy because his ADD doesn't allow him to sit still long enough to accept love and he's kind of an asshole. I'd be an asshole too if I were created to give hugs and tickles to ugly men. Oops, I was! The director rushes through plot points and changes nothing to make the ordeal acceptable. Why does wood eat? Why doesn't he rust or flake? What is the fairy's deal? His growing nose is a hard-on, not a lie. Jiminy Cricket sucked. It's a horror movie. Becoming a boy only grants him a hole. The world around him still sucks. 29-Dec-2021

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Brutal, Creepy, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Indecipherable, Mean Spirited, Preposterous, Scary, Tacky, Tough, Trashy, Twinkie, Violent, Weird

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29-Dec-2021


tick, tick...BOOM! (2001) Whimper

Spider-man split open his asshole and we tasted it. The flavors were acidic and international. Like a caesar salad. Miranda covers an artist that succeeded without musicality because he's an artist that also succeeds without it. When did Spider-Man become Doc from "Back To The Future?" Andrew is its good thing, Robin de Jesus is a missed opportunity and Judith Light was too jewish. Vanessa Hudgens was the only artist that understood the piece of crap she was in and relaxed to our enjoyment. Bad music and immature storytelling equal forgotten art. 24-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bio, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Dialogue Lament, Disappointment, Drama, Gay Swatch, Music Murders, Musical, Over the Top, Preposterous, Relationships, Silly, Slow, Star Watt, Timid, Ugly Art, Weird

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24-Dec-2021


Babysitter, The (1995) Arf

Alicia Silverstone's baby's breadth drives all the boys and men to ferocious perverted thoughts. The victim is mildly annoyed and unaware of how struck her admirers are. She ignores all sexual advances and treats them as man/boy quirks that only occur when no one is looking. The male fantasies are an intrusive director ploy but the sentiments are not. Girly is going to get fucked in the end, but by whom. It's half the town. 27-Nov-2021

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Action, Chemistry, Drama, Good Acting, Mystery, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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27-Nov-2021


Replicas (2018) Whimper

Daddy K suffers tragedy. He loses family members in unison. Frankenstein is the science that can revive them. Our favorite thing about Keanu is his uncomfortable meter. Papi looks uncomfortable and that's great. It makes you want to spit shine his doorknob so he can calm down. Robots don't cut it, emotions don't transfer, I fell asleep, rewound, sobered up and still didn't get it. 08-Nov-2021

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Daddy Squish, Preposterous, SciFi, Silly, Slow, Star Watt, Unenthusiastic, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

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08-Nov-2021


Voyagers (2021) Arf

Dying earth has programmed younglings to survive in space, reproduce, have children that will procreate and establish the next generation of earthlings to inhabit a distant planet. A Lord Of The Flies mentality hits the younglings when a power shift has them aborting their docile medical dosage and predatory sexuality becomes dominant. Tye Sheridan exuded Tom Hardy fumes, Colin Farrell was pitch perfect American and Lilly Rose Depp showed promise. It had limited resources to acquire knowledge from. They sent only one elder to fly a ship and the teens were too woke to identify half of their problems. How can they identify things they've never experienced? It boasts thrills from better accomplishments yet I was entertained. 16-Oct-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Music Swings, SciFi, Star Watt, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

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16-Oct-2021


Outrage, The (1964) Arf

Latino violates fancy woman in front of her uppity husband. Fancy woman lets her guard down and enjoys it. Male toxicity ensues. Several accounts of the rape and murder are presented. Paul Newman was a distraction as a blue-eyed Mexican bandit, with a hulk wig, "grande" dick, grease paint and an "I hate gringos" accent. Most of the actors didn't conquer southern speech. Capt. Kirk played a priest that spoke words as if Shakespeare had written them specifically for him. All the versions add up to a hilarious finale that shouldn't have been. 12-Oct-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Action, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Daddy Squish, Fatigue, Funny, Hilarious, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Silly, Star Watt, Stink Wigs, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Tough, Trashy, Twisty, Vague, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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12-Oct-2021


He's All That (201) Whimper

Pleasant nothingness of youth. 06-Oct-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Coincidence Laden, Comedy, Corn, Drama, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Retread, Romance, Timid, TV-like, Twinkie

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06-Oct-2021


Backfire (1950) Arf

A most pretty paraplegic is released from the hospital after a complete recovery. His best friend is missing. TG he bagged the prettiest nurse on the base. The pretty boy obsessed with his bestie treats his girlfriend like a nurse. Virginia Mayo's charms were lost on him. He needs to find "daddy." His friend is being accused of horrible crimes and it takes a tough pretty boy to find him. Too bad daddy was boring. There's a gay subtext somewhere but I couldn't figure it out. 18-Sep-2021

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Cold, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Slow, Timid, Wit Crack

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18-Sep-2021


Crowded Sky, The (1960) Arf

It's a slow burn melodrama/disaster film. The legends emote, the daddies squish, twinx ponder and sluts can be redeemed if they stop kissing strange men and just marry them. Unlike the drama, the fifteen minutes of disaster are realistic and enlightening. 18-Sep-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Action, Camp, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Preachy, Relationships, Romance, Silly, Slow, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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18-Sep-2021


Mortal Kombat (2021) Whimper

I'm young enough to remember playing it but too old to retain character backstories. When the legends come to life it jogs the memory and its cool. The action brutalizes your senses and makes you feel guilty for releasing with it. The story and dialogue try to zap the fun out of it but the techies keep throwing water on it to keep the spark going. 09-Sep-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Brutal, Chemistry, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fun, Funny, Sort of, Gore, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Musical Bombast, Pretty, Silly, Suspense, Tough, Twisty, Wit Crack

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09-Sep-2021


Mapplethorpe, The Director's Cut - (2021) Arf

A history making photographer tries to cancel the soullessness in art. Gay men in denial, destroying lives in their quest to appear wholesome and delicious for the ultimate dick. The first thing we learn is how to suck, the second, to fuck, third, pray for more and lastly, die a disease riddled and drug infested death. The dots are perfect for great gay sexual simulation but the direction is uncomfortable with it. Mapplethorpe sought perfection in a world that punished him for it. The movie punishes us. 18-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Gay, Relationships, Star Watt, Vague, Weird, Words Spoke

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18-Jul-2021


Shipwrecked (1990) Woof

Twinkster disinherits himself from family business after father is injured on a boat. He wants to prance around at home and live a gay lifestyle but poverty is on the horizon and evictions are forthcoming. The twinkster becomes a cabin boy and a hero on his way to becoming a man. The mystery is well-plotted and it connects with simple realities. Trials await all who become men and little orphan/stowaway girls have the experience to kick it with them. 16-Jul-2021

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Baby Wrecks, Chemistry, Classic, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Heart Writ, Music Swings, Mystery, Pretty, Sentimental, Star Watt, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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16-Jul-2021


Fear Street Part One: 1994 (2021) Woof

Teen lesbians break up after the other moves to a better town and starts hooking up with boys. A jealous and violent prank accidentally disrupts a force that sends undead serial killers to obliterate them. The director has ballsy energy and the kids read well. It pays homage to the slasher film while making the violence more palpable and incorporating lots of baby kickass fun. 02-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action Fun, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Director's Art, Enthusiastic, Funny, Heart Writ, Horror, Lesbian, Music Swings, Mystery, Political Satire, Relationships, Scary, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Tough, Trashy, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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02-Jul-2021




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