Movies Posts Tagged as 'Accidental Watch'
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Mucho, Mucho Amor (2020)

When we were growing up he was a fixture and an idea that sexually ambiguous people exist but to our family they were just closeted gays. Walter Mercado was a creation of a person that wanted to reflect passion, joy and pain. Audiences were passionate about his joy but never questioned his pain. In the end, we get to see why. "He was the last virgin in Puerto Rico." 24-Jun-2022
Made In Paris (1966)

Ann-Margret plays a girl who advances in the fashion industry because of hard work and drop dead gorgeousness. Father and son heads offer her the opportunity to become a Paris buyer when the original gets married. Father and son dispute her capabilities but acknowledge that beauty can surpass it. Louis Jordan is the Paris client with sexual arrangements to the previous buyer. There is little proof that Margret's character impresses at her job because she spends most of her time in Paris, drinking, partying, flirting, dancing, singing and clobbering boys who want to go further than a kiss. The most beautiful boy in the world, Chad Everett, the hottest tongue in France, Louis Jordan and the slub who accepts leftovers, Richard Crenna, are the men vying for Lady Margret's baby's breath. Ann's character is written with confused sensibilities. She riles the men up then 2x4s them later. She wants to live a fantasy without all that icky stuff, like sex. The ex-buyer getting married on short notice without telling her french lover/client gets no clarification. Edie Adams was unfortunately a short lived thing disrespected in the film's best storyline. Margret dolled up in fashion chic and hit the dance floor to Count Bassie and Mongo Santamaria like a sexual beast. Edits and choreography are a mess but Lady Margret's magnitude never lets up. The fashion is creative, the only laughs are violent, the idea that a girl becomes a woman if she gets married is primitive, when men exclaim that a girl is too young to fuck, they mean right now. 26-Apr-2022
Kindred (2020)

It's an incomplete thought. A woman realizes her culture by being left behind to be parented by a rich white family. The interracial harmony was a plus. The actors didn't make calls to their agents after every scene. They were in it. The idea that the man you loved was lying about his parents and abandons you to their care is frightening. The atmosphere was established, the actors were prepared but the story didn't succumb to its repression. All was safe, all felt long and none of it felt warranted. I wanted to hear the screams of agony and the main fucking the shit out of that pretty butler to get the fuck out of there. That's what real people do. They don't waste time wondering. 20-Apr-2022
Man In The Attic (1953)

Jack The Ripper is on the loose and living in "Our Town." He is compelled to kill because he can sense debauchery and orgasms from his female victims. He may be bunking with an actress and her left wing family. Aunt Bee from Mayberry is the "Karen" the town needs or she may be a nosey bitch. Jack Palance has the most muscular face in moviedom and is of great height. Whether he is or isn't is not the point of the film, are all actresses whores, is. 19-Feb-2022
Cinderella (2021) 

A talented cast is assembled to remake a classic remade too many times with bigger bluster. A downfall of blockbusters but not of little films. They can sneak in some truth without being punished. It's a parody that attempts to bring circumstances, thoughts and decisions to the shenanigans. Idina has grade A moments in song and in soul sharing. Billy brought his showmanship. The prince passed the "inferno" test with a flip and a voice. We waited for Minnie Driver to awake and when it happens, it is fitting. 007 hits his marks like a gunslinger. Cabello looks like a waitress from different eras in all of her guises but she can sing, act, charm and have fun. I had fun. It belongs to a future cult. 13-Feb-2022
Privilege, The (2022)

Stupid horror flex in another language with cute twinx. Nope. 11-Feb-2022
Red Notice (2021)

Red Notice fulfills "land of magic" type escapism. The writers created an intriguing caper and an enigmatic cast to play act it. Gal Gadot can act. Well. Daddy King Rock delighted in being the brunt of a joke, constantly, in fabulous fashion. Dickwad Reynolds steals it by being a cantankerous benevolent criminal who is also Deadpool. The director took advantage of its DCU historical significance and developed some solid characters. Heart tug. 11-Jan-2022
Wasteland, The (2021)

I can't identify with a child that wakes his parents up so daddy can walk him to the latrine which is terrifyingly one block away. To piss. Why didn't he just piss in any corner of the house except where mama hangs laundry? It debates whether parents should compromise a boy's sensitivity by forcing him to become a man if the times deem it necessary. It's a future where woke people are forced to eat animals named Fluffy to survive. Suicidal grandpa daddy grants himself an early reprieve by getting a conscious in between bouts of "I don't give a shit! and "I want to die!" Daddy did not deserve a vacation. Mother madness is spooky with minimal slaps and torture towards children. She did good with killing animals, though. I didn't understand it. "The monster is made of trees, branches and bad lighting, maybe. You imagined the whole thing. You're just like us. Nuts." The child riled us up but the director couldn't grant us a reason for any of it. 08-Jan-2022
Pinocchio (2019)

Someone thought that realizing one of the most horrifying fairy tales to live film was a whimsical idea. The director wastes little time on magic and spends most of it on ugliness. He realized all the threats in a boy's life and all the insanity of the myth. A boy that really isn't a boy is considered a genderless fuck opportunity. Pedos prefer gender non-specific children because it's the baby smell they're after. Pinocchio is the perfect victim. Unique, beautiful, stupid, excited, rebellious and cooperative. The puppet gets enslaved, murdered, robbed, betrayed, hated, abused and exploited. Pinocchio cannot become a boy because his ADD doesn't allow him to sit still long enough to accept love and he's kind of an asshole. I'd be an asshole too if I were created to give hugs and tickles to ugly men. Oops, I was! The director rushes through plot points and changes nothing to make the ordeal acceptable. Why does wood eat? Why doesn't he rust or flake? What is the fairy's deal? His growing nose is a hard-on, not a lie. Jiminy Cricket sucked. It's a horror movie. Becoming a boy only grants him a hole. The world around him still sucks. 29-Dec-2021
tick, tick...BOOM! (2001)

Spider-man split open his asshole and we tasted it. The flavors were acidic and international. Like a caesar salad. Miranda covers an artist that succeeded without musicality because he's an artist that also succeeds without it. When did Spider-Man become Doc from "Back To The Future?" Andrew is its good thing, Robin de Jesus is a missed opportunity and Judith Light was too jewish. Vanessa Hudgens was the only artist that understood the piece of crap she was in and relaxed to our enjoyment. Bad music and immature storytelling equal forgotten art. 24-Dec-2021
Babysitter, The (1995)

Alicia Silverstone's baby's breadth drives all the boys and men to ferocious perverted thoughts. The victim is mildly annoyed and unaware of how struck her admirers are. She ignores all sexual advances and treats them as man/boy quirks that only occur when no one is looking. The male fantasies are an intrusive director ploy but the sentiments are not. Girly is going to get fucked in the end, but by whom. It's half the town. 27-Nov-2021
Replicas (2018)

Daddy K suffers tragedy. He loses family members in unison. Frankenstein is the science that can revive them. Our favorite thing about Keanu is his uncomfortable meter. Papi looks uncomfortable and that's great. It makes you want to spit shine his doorknob so he can calm down. Robots don't cut it, emotions don't transfer, I fell asleep, rewound, sobered up and still didn't get it. 08-Nov-2021
Voyagers (2021)

Dying earth has programmed younglings to survive in space, reproduce, have children that will procreate and establish the next generation of earthlings to inhabit a distant planet. A Lord Of The Flies mentality hits the younglings when a power shift has them aborting their docile medical dosage and predatory sexuality becomes dominant. Tye Sheridan exuded Tom Hardy fumes, Colin Farrell was pitch perfect American and Lilly Rose Depp showed promise. It had limited resources to acquire knowledge from. They sent only one elder to fly a ship and the teens were too woke to identify half of their problems. How can they identify things they've never experienced? It boasts thrills from better accomplishments yet I was entertained. 16-Oct-2021
Outrage, The (1964)

Latino violates fancy woman in front of her uppity husband. Fancy woman lets her guard down and enjoys it. Male toxicity ensues. Several accounts of the rape and murder are presented. Paul Newman was a distraction as a blue-eyed Mexican bandit, with a hulk wig, "grande" dick, grease paint and an "I hate gringos" accent. Most of the actors didn't conquer southern speech. Capt. Kirk played a priest that spoke words as if Shakespeare had written them specifically for him. All the versions add up to a hilarious finale that shouldn't have been. 12-Oct-2021
He's All That (201)

Pleasant nothingness of youth. 06-Oct-2021