Movies Posts Tagged as 'Musical Bombast'
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Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Reminders from the past were a return to better things. They had a good amount of gas and revved up nicely. The Mach 2 opener was a tightly wrapped exercise that was crushed by the weight of the music. Music was programmed to force us to feel. I am not a fan. I would have cut the music, kept the sound effects and never pan away from Daddy Kickass' face. Jennifer Connolly seemed refreshed and in a good place. Reunions were sweet and respectful. Hamm needed to add a bit of anaconda to his Admiral's swag. Every time he squeaked an order, I laughed. His facial shots were mostly eyeroll, eyeroll bitch and eyeroll exasperation. The younglings were not interesting or fleshed out. Their purpose was to function for the machine. The beginning was full of close-ups of actors conveying to someone who might not be there. Boy, was I sorry I noticed that. Full frames and blurs were what my eyes kept being subjected to. Are they or aren't they? Let's count. Fuck! When it expanded at the end, I felt relief but the music swelled and the rah rah began and I became sad that men have to congratulate themselves. 20-Jan-2023
Glass Onion (2022)

Daniel Craig returns to torture southern accents and be a dork. Janelle Monae acted better with an accent but not so much as herself. She needs an injection of actor vulnerability. Kathryn Hahn is still a witch. I couldn't see Leslie Odom Jr. and Jessica Henwick through all that glass. Hollywood never took advantage that Kate Hudson is her mother's doppelganger. Bautista was full on daddy and Edward Norton deserves a comeback. Elements of the whodunnit were clever but the whole was overblown. 23-Dec-2022
Shang-Chi & The Legend of Ten Rings (2021)

It opens with a sober mythological tale. The action sequences lift our feet off the floor. Awkafina is refreshing. She makes corny scenarios funny. Simu Liu is a ripped pocket ass kicker. The story crumbles when daddy issues arise and Marvel wokeness and grandstanding are inserted. Motivations are vague, the writing can't keep up with the tech and by the end, the movement becomes an oncoming train. 21-Nov-2021
School Of Rock (2003)

"James Corden" type entertainer teaches genius diversity how to rock out. Sex, drugs and rock n roll. 23-Oct-2021
Mortal Kombat (2021)

I'm young enough to remember playing it but too old to retain character backstories. When the legends come to life it jogs the memory and its cool. The action brutalizes your senses and makes you feel guilty for releasing with it. The story and dialogue try to zap the fun out of it but the techies keep throwing water on it to keep the spark going. 09-Sep-2021
Where The Boys Are (1984)

Cis men will get a hard-on during. 75%. Gay men will get a hard-on going. 55%. Women only see what they want to see. 100%. Romance knows no bounds. Hangover. 13-Feb-2021
Mulan (2020)

It's so hellbent on announcing what it is before it becomes that it fails. 29-Jan-2021
Prom,The (2020)

When I was in high school I thought white people made up the idea of proms for the purpose of Hollywood entertainment. It wasn't until my 4th year that I noticed a prom announcement on the school bulletin board. Holy crap! Those stupid dances are real. It wasn't part of my culture and no one in my family ever met anyone who went to one. I can't celebrate the idea of adults hijacking a prom to allow a same sex couple to participate. The musical is a whirlwind of gay propoganda. I'm tired of watching gay films that suppress us into political statements. LGBTQ teens are committing suicide at hostile rates because we refuse to acknowledge that our lives suck which means they don't get any answers. Unless we start supplying our babies with ways to cope with their lives there is no celebration. 13-Dec-2020
Fullmetal Alchemist (2018)

A boy and his brother surrender parts of themselves while trying to resurrect their mother through alchemy. A journey ensues to find a philosopher's stone that will return their bodies and relax their souls. The animated series was a dark tragedy with kiddie undertones, celebrating science and magic shows, stupendous mutants with biblical powers, military strategies and coos, cliffhangers and curves while pulling the heartstrings. The introduction is action best, the characters and the costumes click the memory banks but its empathy blubber is unforgivable. 26-Aug-2020
Eurovision Song Contest (2020)

Brother/sister romance tackle art and temptation at a song contest.
Will Ferrell's character's age kept gnawing at me. How old is he supposed to be? How old is his sister? His father? Ferrell plays the eternal kid that refuses to wear big boy britches even for comfort. Ours.
Rachel McAdams deserved a singing partner.
Dan Stevens left it at the Abbey. He should go pick it up.
I knew it was Demi Lovato before I saw her. It was the screaming.
The music is way too silly to enjoy, coming in constant waves of annoyance. I don't care what the rules are, sing it live. Too much? 01-Jul-2020
Da 5 Bloods (2020)

Four American vets return to Nam to pay homage to a fallen comrade and loot forgotten gold. Lee celebrates the culture and panders heavily to an aggressive media. Details are only heightened when its beautiful score stops waterboarding. It is only then that the daddies' concrete work is illuminated, the story gets a lift and though Lee is scattered, the drama delivers some insight. Do trees sap in the woods? Yes, indeed. 15-Jun-2020
Birds of Prey (2020)

Robbie is missing the lilt and the energy that would whip Harley Quinn into a showpiece. The women in charge plaster the screen with cartoon abandon, avoid psychoanalyzing themselves and express no vulnerability that would compel a unique perspective. The film lacks a heart. It's like a man directed it. 13-Jun-2020
Third Day, The (1965)

Can a man become an enlightened human if an accident causes him amnesia? Not if your mug is still wanted for murder.
George Peppard is grand business daddy, never demurring from blankness while still eliciting great face.
Elizabeth Ashley was privileged bitch wife, with an redemptive opportunity for love and a zestful beauty of another.
Sally Kellerman knew how to turn it on and shut men down.
Mona Washbourne elicited comic wit relief and parental heartbreak.
Roddy McDowell. The best cocksucker in Hollywood actually had other talents.
Arte Johnson crept trying to put a creepy face on a "love me" persona.
Music. It sounded like every summer blockbuster score rolled into one.
It's sumptuously over, to guiltily enjoy. 11-May-2020
Cats (2019) 

Of course, I was going to hate it. Wrecked performances, grave CGI, clipped penises and roach choreography. I couldn't finish it. 09-May-2020
Frozen II (2019)

Its beauty is deceptive.
There is no thought or flourish to the story and no realism to the dialogue. Children have deeper conversations than this.
They are constantly bombarded by magical things, yet still wonder at the next.
The songs are its enemy. The songwriters write songs for talkers not classically trained singers. The musical artists could not wrap their talent around them. The words weren't tonal or melodious. (A thesaurus might have helped.) Each song was a giant whoopee cushion to the ear.
I wished the snowman had melted. (I'm sorry, I've spent too much time with Gervais.)
The presentation is built to make a grown man cringe.
If it weren't so gorgeous, I'd stop fucking it.
Bring on number 3. (Sigh) 02-May-2020