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All Posts Tagged as 'Timid'

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Careless Years, The (1957) Whimper

What are the lengths an untouched teen queen and a rebel rouser go to have sex without guilt? Get married? The parents are as excited of their proposal as invited homophobic family members are to go to a gay wedding. The movie/man obsesses whether they should have sex anyway since they're going to be together forever. The angst of a girl clinging to a specialty that means nothing to the man she's giving it to, is ridiculous. Just have it, already! Sex is just another addiction in life, like pooping. It was interesting to watch a baby Dean Stockwell preen like James Dean and Barbara Billingsley do the mama thing she does so well but the movie is about nothing. 13-Jun-2021

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Director's Touch, Drama, Hot Swatch, Preposterous, Relationships, Silly, Subtle, Timid, Twinkie, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: Movies

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13-Jun-2021


Ten Little Indians (1965) Arf

10 influencers are united in a snow piled chateau. The invite comes from a madman that wants to cancel them. The mystery's psychological reasoning is based on a demented individual's power grab to replace God and punish the unrighteous. But, they're so pretty and knowledgeable. Fabian smears his loveliness on the lens but is too uptight to relax and be cool. Daliah Lavi's exaggerated mane turned her into a cold stereotypical Hollywood starlet. Hugh O'Brian looked even better with his shirt off. Marianne Hoppe seemed hopped on something as the scared German maid. Was she supposed to be ridiculous? Gay old codgers know everything. It's a cheap attempt to intrigue us with outdated characters from a board game. 10-Jun-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Action, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stink Wigs, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tacky, Timid, Trashy, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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10-Jun-2021


Nest, The (2020) Arf

American family encounters alienation when they move to England to satisfy Daddy's whim. Daddy is a financial security risk who thinks that success lays in places not people, momma is stuck climbing a mental hill on repetition, the boy is spooked by his surroundings and the daughter has a knack for loud music, parties and drugs. Jude Law and Carrie Coon lend strength to a script that takes their characters nowhere. 21-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Drama, Good Acting, Mystery, Relationships, Slow, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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21-May-2021


Woman In The Window (2021) Whimper

A cheap thriller receiving attention because an acting powerhouse is in it. Production invited stellar actors to deliver supporting one notes. Why bother? The writers and director are faulted for having no perceptive style and for thinking that hiding and boo is the only adult scare tactic. I would have fired them, handed the camera to Amy and told the actors to wing it. 21-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Good Acting, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Star Watt, Thriller, Timid

Filed under: Movies

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21-May-2021


Oxygen (2021) Arf

Frustration is as suspenseful as the time allotted to it. It overstays. Woman in cryogenic state awakens from it with loss of oxygen, no memory, involuntary skills and a computer that accepts calls. Melanie Laurent was determined to grip our attention and she succeeded. The AI was sexily low key. The film needed to widen itself and have her deal with what was out there. It's too much of one thing. Two adventures would have killed it. The twists didn't curl because they were far-fetched. I would have taken the sedative offered 10 minutes in. 18-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Chemistry, Creepy, Director Movement, Drama, Elegance, Fatigue, Foreign, Good Acting, Life, Mystery, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sentimental, Thriller, Timid, Too Long, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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18-May-2021


Cold Creek Manor (2003) Arf

City whites decide to move out of the city after their son's expensive shoes get scratched in the city. They are afforded an estate at a very low price that belonged to an ex prison crusader on a warpath with whomever moves in. Sharon Stone is onboard to bore us doing motherly stuff as an affordable VP. Daddy Quaid's anger doesn't generate enough sparks to make us care. Christopher Plummer was unrecognizable. Juliette Lewis made it ashore to tingle the plot and remind us Cape Fear did it better. Stephen Dorff was delicious smack as a bad boy affected by parental sexual freedom that you will eventually spit out and nothing more. Teen Kristen Stewart was at her best, hanging loose, upfront and appearing to hate only half the planet. The ending is as cruel as the wait. 16-May-2021

Tags: 2000s, Accidental Watch, Bad Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Thriller, Timid, Vague, Weird, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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16-May-2021


Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) Bites

Patty Jenkins went on a shopping spree with the film's budget. Did she leave most of it home? It opens with baby Diana discovering clever ways to somersault at the White Female Olympics. She's unbearable, I mean unbeatable even as a child. Cue applause and adoration. There should have been a lot of irony in a woman raised to best everyone, even in goodness. Years of not belonging in the world would have brought her detachment from it. She wouldn't fall apart over Steve Trevor and she definitely wouldn't pine for him for over a 100 years. Compassion is a side effect of a movement. Coldness is a statistic of war. Everything you hate about the movies is in this one. The older maidens are given minimal time. (They didn't study their accents, again.) Cheetah might have been intriguing as a black character with white superiority issues. Yes, make it a race thing. Pedro Pascal left his guts on the floor while Ms. Jenkins took a nap. Steve's explanation for existing in the future was best established on the 70s TV series. Future Steve could have been the great grandson of dead Steve. Incestuous hook-ups and emotional consequences. It would have been a great place to establish personal turmoil. Gadot needed to wear some of the tear in Wonder Woman's battle history to find her strength because it ain't crying.

Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Comic Book, Corn, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Inactivity, Over the Top, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Romance, Silly, Slow, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Trashy, TV-like, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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14-May-2021


Mitchells vs The Machines, The (2021) Whimper

Teen lesbian leaving for school, has her life upended when Siri takes over the world and her dorky family is in charge of saving it. The adventures rely on coincidence, loud family squabbles, pet abuse, girl empowerment, gay robots and swirly pops to the brain. The voices don't humanize or endear themselves to us. Does Michael Rianda really think that he sounds like a cute little boy? It ends like every new animation whose heart beats like a girl. Go, girls! Do whatever the fuck you want! 06-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Stomper, Cold, Comedy, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, SciFi, Shrill Act, Timid, Too Long, Unfunny, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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06-May-2021


Seventh Sign, The (1988) Whimper

God was so angry with us in the 80s that he sent seven signs to warn us he was on a path of annihilation and made Demi Moore and her baby carry the burden. If she can fulfill enough of God's contracts she can accomplish the "save the world" prophecies in the bible. Moore's luminescence and chemistry is wasted on shitty creators. A man can protect the world but only a woman can save it. 04-May-2021

Tags: 1980s, Accidental Watch, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Cultish, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mad, Mystery, SciFi, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Timid, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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04-May-2021


Falcon And The Winter Soldier (2021-) WoofDowngradeArf

Preachers hijacked the writing room. Victim is the new black. A black super soldier spends the rest of his life watering plants with a twink by his side as punishment for having the bravery to be drugged and evolve the strength to save people. He could have been Captain America except for the cruel charisma of a wasp. America voted him out, jailed and erased him. So he said. If the show had commenced with this notion, we would have been spared some ineffectual rundowns and it would have smashed impact. Julia Louis Dreyfus pinched delightfully but had no time to heist. Why are Wakandans allowed to walk freely with spears? The superbad was Orphan Annie grown with a Party City mask, reminding parents that depriving children is best. Teaching is for school and parents. If we can show them how great we are without saying a word, we've won them over. Everything must be black (good) and white (bad) because we're too sensitive for grey (everyone). We all suck. 26-Apr-2021
An ode to superhero support that no one cared about. The task of the series is to make us care. The action zips, the storyline seems cohesive but the protagonists need to make us feel more than heroism. The story is zooming but the actors ain't riding it. 21-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Bad Acting, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Hot Swatch, Overcooked, Political, Relationships, Sap, Silly, Timid, Tired, Writ Basic, Writ For Short Attn Spans

Filed under: TV

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26-Apr-2021


Tenant, The (1976) Arf

An unassuming man moves into an apartment that drove a young woman to suicide. He visits the victim at the hospital (for foreign hospitality reasons and to maybe see her suffer?) and becomes obsessed with realizing her history. The neighbors find every reason to make him feel insignificant...he's too noisy, too weird, too private, too sexual and too mentally unwell. The director posted Rosemary's Baby with a shittier budget and himself in the lead. (We are to presume that some other schmuck directed it). The opportunity for a defamed man's self-reflection is a good opportunity for doctors to psychoanalyze him, wrangle the rest and let the people decide. Are the neighbors driving him nuts or was he already nuts? Why is he dressing like a girl? No, that's the girl that jumped out the window. Yes, he drags out and the film continues to crash into WTF Land as he spills nothing about himself except his obsession with precision ... the soft caresses, the whispers, his crippling distrust of socialization, the corners, the lighting, the orchestration, the genius, the illusion of knowing how a child feels and where the bad place ends. A whore is a child unsaved by him. (He aint smarter than his dick, though.) 23-Apr-2021

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Cultish, Director Experiment, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Horror, Mystery, Preposterous, Suspense, Thriller, Timid, Twisty, Weird, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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23-Apr-2021


Promising Young Woman (2020) Arf

It's a perfect outline for Catwoman. The anticipation of her masking up and punishing would have been worth the slog. Carey Mulligan keeps a dead expression throughout a lifelong career of avenging a wrongdoing to a friend. She doesn't revel in her revenge. She feels without actually feeling.

A psycho gets off on its craft, sexually, mentally and or physically. This is why directors yell things like, "loosen the fuck up!" to actors. This was a missed opportunity for Mulligan to create her own Joker but she refused to laugh. The ending would have banged harder had she been Catwoman or Halle Berry. 07-Apr-2021

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Political, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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07-Apr-2021


Craft Legacy (2020) Arf

It gets down to business. Three practicing high school witches need a fourth to obtain their full powers. Enter nondescript beauty and all their dreams come true. We celebrate and we vow then realize that like masturbation, the power is ours. People don't share well. Too many ideas that were worth exploring remained untouched. Nicholas Galitzine is worth enthralling but the reasoning didn't make sense. He was too infatuated to warrant one. Though the twists were a treat, it needed revenge craft. Lots of bloody hell of it. 05-Apr-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Chemistry, Director's Slice, Good Acting, Relationships, Subtle, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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05-Apr-2021


Blood Moon (2021) Arf

This is an almost horror classic because it built good character relationships but sidestepped showing us the horror. Most scares evolved from the predicament of the main characters which added some suspense but the director was afraid to delve into action. Too bad. We all missed out. 29-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cultural, Drama, Heart Writ, Horror, Predictable, Relationships, Scary, Timid, Timid Effects, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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29-Mar-2021


Block Island Sound, The (2020) Bites

Wildlife is dying rapidly, daddy is acting strange, daughter has returned to investigate and brother is losing it. A conspiracy theorist is onboard to tell us what creativity can't show us and another sister joins to hate, mostly her brother. The ending is "WhyTF did I waste my time watching this shit?" 25-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Conspiracy Theory, Depressing, Director Slouch, False Action, Fatigue, Horror, Preposterous, Relationships, Silly, Slow, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Vague, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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25-Mar-2021




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