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All Posts Tagged as 'Timid'

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They Come Knocking (2019) Whimper

Hot daddy raggedy, teen elder daughter crab apple and future "Karen" darling road it it to dead children county to distribute mama's ashes. You know the movie is not destined for greatness when the cliche effect of children's whispers is heard. The children creep a little but there are no sensible rules chaining the scares together. It's horror schmaltz. 11-Jul-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Drama, Horror, Indecipherable, Manipulation, Relationships, Sap, Scare Obvious, Silly, Timid, Unenthusiastic

Filed under: Movies

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11-Jul-2020


Winchester (2018) Whimper

A haunted gun house. While lulling you to sleep it develops some nice scares but by then, who cares. 03-Jul-2020

Tags: By the Numbers, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Horror, Mystery, Silly, Star Watt, Timid

Filed under: Movies

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03-Jul-2020


Undertow (2004) Arf

Long lost uncle returns to crunch some balls. The first half is backwoods grit thriller but once the adventure ensues you are whisked away to a myth. Jamie Bell does solid work exhibiting his animal urges against obligation whilst the daddies gruff hard. I didn't understand little brother's gross ailment. 01-Jul-2020

Tags: 2000s, Action, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Mystery, Predictable, Repetitive, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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01-Jul-2020


Eurovision Song Contest (2020) Whimper

Brother/sister romance tackle art and temptation at a song contest.

Will Ferrell's character's age kept gnawing at me. How old is he supposed to be? How old is his sister? His father? Ferrell plays the eternal kid that refuses to wear big boy britches even for comfort. Ours.

Rachel McAdams deserved a singing partner.

Dan Stevens left it at the Abbey. He should go pick it up.

I knew it was Demi Lovato before I saw her. It was the screaming.

The music is way too silly to enjoy, coming in constant waves of annoyance. I don't care what the rules are, sing it live. Too much? 01-Jul-2020

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Comedy, Director Slouch, Drama, Gay Swatch, Grating, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Retread, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Timid, Unfunny, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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01-Jul-2020


Jaws 3 (1983) Bites

The fun stops here. 22-Jun-2020

Tags: 1980s, Action, Art Devoid, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Eye Gouge, Fantasy, Horror, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sad Effects, Scare Obvious, Sequel, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Wit Crack

Filed under: Movies

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22-Jun-2020


Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019) Arf

Star Wars is one of the most challenging series to keep alive. Each post iteration appearing shiny and new with ardent fandom, bounteous clamor and no history or relevance to match any of the original three. They are only embers of the force.

JJ dropped the soap. Politics clenched the dynamic and criticism quelled his enthusiasm. He did not lend his panoramic to anything past what we would see in a video game.

It spent too much time preaching the force and little time explaining anything else.

Kylo Ren worked better with his mask on. (He was more intimidating.)

Zori Bliss would have worked better with her mask off.

Lando and the phantasms of veteran greats brought the force but the new power was missing a united purpose that would compel them to overcome the awkwardness. You can't expect much from an actor whose belly is full.

Everything old as new is delight, everything new and unthought of is bah...everything new and shiny, rusts. 20-Jun-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, By the Numbers, Camp, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Loud, Macho Posing, Music Swings, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sap, SciFi, Shrill Act, Star Watt, Timid, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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20-Jun-2020


Assimilate (2019) Bites

Misunderstanding the mythology of the "pod people" and mishandling how to apply it to this generation. They twinkled it, legitimized it, repeated it and fudged it.

Ideas:

Social Media is our pod and we are its people.

It arrives from a dead planet. An alien-camouflaging organism that can only do so, temporarily with the environment. It needs a human to survive. I know, I know... make Mexicans immune! You want to scare us, don't you? 20-Jun-2020

Tags: 2010s, Bad Acting, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Corn, Director Slouch, Drama, Ear Prick, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Grating, Horror, Mystery, Over the Top, Predictable, Remake, SciFi, Silly, Timid

Filed under: Movies

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20-Jun-2020


Love, Victor (2020-) Arf

E6-10. Performer TV IQ is high enough to rise above the suds, convey the right emotions, make us addicted and not drown from the weight of the soap. 18-Jun-2020
S1E5. It observes and overprotects its subject. It theorizes that problems only graze and that all people are inherently capable of understanding. Fables only grant the curious teen, added hurt on their venture. I'd rather tell it, solve it and not wait for the miracle to happen. 17-Jun-2020

Tags: 2020s, Amiable, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Political, Predictable, Relationships, Star Watt, Sweet, Timid, Twinkie, Wit Snit, Writ For Short Attn Spans

Filed under: TV

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18-Jun-2020


A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019) Arf

Mr. Rogers was part of my baby ghetto but I was never aware of being a fan. He relaxed me, informed me, and chimed the right bells to put a baby to sleep. The movie depends on Tom Hanks delivering the persona of a man who defies goodness. Hanks is perfect in intonation, style and determination but he adds an element of creepiness that only comes with voracious study and involuntary realization. I kept waiting for him to go Joker and annihilate. It ruined it for me. 12-Jun-2020

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Grating, Political Satire, Preposterous, Sap, Star Watt, Timid

Filed under: Movies

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14-Jun-2020


Birds of Prey (2020) Bites

Robbie is missing the lilt and the energy that would whip Harley Quinn into a showpiece. The women in charge plaster the screen with cartoon abandon, avoid psychoanalyzing themselves and express no vulnerability that would compel a unique perspective. The film lacks a heart. It's like a man directed it. 13-Jun-2020

Tags: 2020s, Action Stomper, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cold, Comic Book, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Fantasy, Fatigue, Macho Posing, Mean Spirited, Musical Bombast, Oncer, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Revenge, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Timid, Too Long, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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14-Jun-2020


Dangerous Lies (2020) Woof

A windfall may or may not kill you. The beat (director) was persuasive, the concoction (writing) was unique, the conclusion was a letdown but I admired a lot of it. Camila Mendes was level and engaging. Jessie T. Usher was reckless asshole sublime and proud of it. 18-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Crime Drama, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Political Satire, Revenge, Romance, Suspense, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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18-May-2020


Sunday Bloody Sunday (1971) Arf

Stagnant study, of a woman and a man sharing a relationship with a twinkster. The rules are the same no matter the generation or the politic. The bird marches on the streets of beauty, protesting the disparity of life while ignoring the feelings of those around him. His fluidity grants him power to cross pollinate and be voraciously welcomed by those of privilege whose lack in life is progressive. To the woman he brings sexual fulfillment and purpose, to the man, a sense of accomplishment and pride. Youth ping pongs between them like the parents he needs right now, not the lovers he'll end up with, later. Birds must fly as parents must contend with surviving on memories. Children and family are an aside that contain the most life. The children annoy as much as delight, smoking drugs, having fits, asking complicated questions, noticing sexual things and killing dogs. 06-May-2020

Tags: 1970s, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Political, Relationships, Star Watt, Subtle, Tedium, Timid, Vague, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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06-May-2020


Normal People (2020-) BitesEarly Exit

I quit after two episodes for its robotic love story and for making a half, feel like a full hour. If its purpose is to instruct us on how to navigate teen angst, sex and love, I can't empathize. By twelve, I and most of my brethren were already bona fide sluts (thanks, daddies) and my input wasn't necessary. It reeks of social parenting, enforcement and naive privilege. The writers believe that if you preach hard enough, it will spill into reality. Daisy Edgar-Jones is neither ugly, weirdly or enticing enough to elaborate on an inconsistent sketch of a girl who is written to be all of those things. It's hypocritical. Paul Mescal is wasting his beautiful ass, nobody else matters and nothing happens. 05-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Cliche, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Out of Place, Preachy, Relationships, Squish Alert, Static, Talk, Tedium, Timid, Tired, Warbly, Weird

Filed under: TV

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05-May-2020


Hollywood (2020-) Whimper

Hollywood magic starts in bed.

A propaganda film correcting past inequalities by imposing modern thoughts and politics into the mouth of history.

It preaches incessantly because we can no longer be inspired by people's lives as they lived it but how we now prefer it. (Good change comes when we learn from past mistakes, not when we erase them.)

Diversity exists as a pulpit, never integrating or understanding their purpose. Brother and sister needed to bring the humility, homework and incandescence that would compel us to believe they deserve the success they aspire to. Ms. Wong (Michelle Krusiec) completed her homework.

Rock Hudson, Vivien Leigh and Tallulah Bankhead portrayals. The ginormity of man beauty that was the Rock, is diminished when his facsimile stands shoulder to shoulder with Mira Sorvino and when he portrays him like a dork. Vivien was a cartoon transformer shifting from beauty to accent in a manic state. She needed to be all of it. Tallulah is actually very simple to study. You watch her one hour episode of I Love Lucy and follow it up with Bette Davis in All About Eve, legitimizing her. Too busy, huh?

The film within a film seemed abysmal.

I found it offensive that a black woman was portraying a white woman's life. It's like a man portraying a trans.

Free rein to rearrange is exciting only if it follows the rules of its generation. 03-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Camp, Cliche, Discomfort, Drama, Fatigue, Gay, History, Insulting, Manipulation, Out of Place, Over the Top, Overcooked, Political, Repetitive, Sap, Star Watt, Static, Talk, Tedium, Timid, Tired, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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03-May-2020


Frozen II (2019) Whimper

Its beauty is deceptive.

There is no thought or flourish to the story and no realism to the dialogue. Children have deeper conversations than this.

They are constantly bombarded by magical things, yet still wonder at the next.

The songs are its enemy. The songwriters write songs for talkers not classically trained singers. The musical artists could not wrap their talent around them. The words weren't tonal or melodious. (A thesaurus might have helped.) Each song was a giant whoopee cushion to the ear.

I wished the snowman had melted. (I'm sorry, I've spent too much time with Gervais.)

The presentation is built to make a grown man cringe.

If it weren't so gorgeous, I'd stop fucking it.

Bring on number 3. (Sigh) 02-May-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Beautiful, By the Numbers, Camp, Director's Touch, Drama, Ear Prick, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Gay Swatch, Grating, Manipulation, Music Murders, Musical Bombast, Preachy, Sap, Shrill Act, Timid

Filed under: Movies

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02-May-2020




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