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Married At First Sight (2014-) Howl

The couples served the last pieces of raw skin they had for us to eat. Brett didn't grace anyone with realism. Miles drew satisfaction from a towel job. Executive decision could not determine if her greatest strength came from a man or a woman. I think its a little bit of both. The owl was perched and miffed throughout. Woody overcompsumption makes you sick. Amani is a bro. (This is the absolute truth.) The mermaid put a spell on me that made me believe everything she said. Am I straight now? The bird is getting some. I can accept the tree bangers likability but I will not tolerate their talent. 30-Oct-2020
Decision day. My favorite bird stopped pecking and I felt bad. The pecking was one of his cutest features. When he twitches I get an uncontrollable desire to hold his face to mine to see if I can calm it. If you need to tighten up for emergencies its all good but please release yourself. It seems painful. I would point out what a plump juicy butt you seem to have but I wouldn't want you to think I'm "gay." Brett understands. Why Brett was never matched with the mermaid is a very good question. The mermaid would have found her voice and the bird and the owl might have flown away together. Was there a mix up? Brett ruined the reunion party by shooting a random bullet into the owl. He got silence from the men, hisses and boos from the women and laughter from Errattic.

I was touched by the friendships the fairytale marriages formed.

(I can't wait until Hades Au replaces a judge next season.) 28-Oct-2020
The bird married the mermaid so he can steal her voice. Surprise! He's Ursula. The bird confided to Woody that the mermaid questioned his sexual identity. Woody's nice guy image didn't crack but his thoughts burst like a spore. "That's it! I get it now. Can't wait to tell Miles." Neither executive decision or Woods participated in the same sex encouragement sessions. I hope they were sleeping and not having sex. The girls didn't understand the mermaid and tree banger couldn't comprehend the bird, at all. Miles and Woody did. By the time Miles semen reaches a hole, the child would have inherited Brad Pitt syndrome from its dryness. The bangers will survive if they can continue to bend the world away from reality and towards frolics with field fairies and lollies or dollies. 15-Oct-2020
Quarantine inhabited their lives and anxiety reached a higher level. The debate for and against baby creation became psychoanalyzed and compromised. The tree banger and his wife appeared the most content but is it because he's so bequeathing? Tree needs to avoid becoming one of Poison Ivy's house plants if he wants to retain his soul. Olivia is the girl that receives a trophy she can never hold onto. "It's like the trophy is coated in grease." It is and his name is Brett the shaggy, nasty smirky, jerky squishmeister and don't you forget it. Karen and Miles. Karen is so dependent on what a man should be that she forgot to question who she is. Woody and Amani put the cute in couple and an exclamation point at the end of their dreams. Sometimes, I feel they are putting us on and other times I say fuck it, I hope its real. Christina and Henry. Gay birds love marrying mermaids. 08-Oct-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Shrill Act, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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30-Oct-2020


Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-) Howl

Reunion 2. Drug converse lingered too long. We need to accommodate the mentally impaired so they can joyfully do their sexually abusive jobs without killing anyone. That was the safety feature the Goddess was trying to implement. It works both ways, the drugs are illegal but a psychosis strike is no joke. The moment we enter a doctor's office, we are all drug addicts. The goddess struck down the captain with a thunderbolt as Malia armed herself like a gunslinger. Chef fuck was puppyish and backstabbing as he snitched that being fingered by Deck Ratched is a threat to his life. The ratched played it as feminine and as hopeless as a butch face allows whilst receiving glaring looks from daddy captain. Is pretty Jesus allowed to say, Oh Jesus? That was discomfiting. The lord doesn't give a shit about drugs, women issues or life policies. He's Jesus and he needs to fuck. 27-Oct-2020
Reunion. It was Hannah sabotage. All political and aesthetic arguments were won by women. They had Hannah to blame for everything, even how bad the chef's food tasted. The ratched was demure, the captain was tuna of the sea, Andy zipped his body into a zippo in case anything got mistook and Jesus was pushed aside like the God no longer required. Welcome to New Poseidon. 19-Oct-2020
The rocket liberated Jesus so others could worship him. Mistake. A goddess that begs on her knees and turns her tears into oceans is not worthy of his majesty. He's an experience not a flight. Deck Ratched should be commended for steering the boat and controlling her hen (Chef Fuck.) Alex was commended for being a nasty fuck that cares. Bugs is efficiency. Aesha is a jolt. Captain Sandy gets an outstanding pretense award for wishing Chef Fuck and Ratched well when Ratched had already confessed to her how she was going to dump him, whilst snogging in bed. (It's called Gaydar.) 12-Oct-2020
Aesha had a priceless reaction to the rocket's complaint that no one is allowed to touch pretty jesus butt during group photos. Aesha never heard of relationship confinement rules but she complied with the goddess' request and snorted to the audience. "My friends and family do it all the time, what would I do with his butt anyway, I don't have a penis," or something like that. Deck Ratched gave Chef Fuck an ass rubdown and he flitted about for the rest of the charter. 07-Oct-2020
When someone questions another's sexuality for provocation she probably does it because they want it, have tried it and want it again. Malia may not be a lesbian but she dates sweet n' low. Chef Fuck couldn't do a thing without deck Ratched. The captain was content just to find another dick to kick onboard now that dickhand was chained up. Alex was asked by empowered women who his boat bitch was as dickhand rattled his chains underground and cried for help. The pretty one decided that his Jesus skills could impart horny rich frumps to bump the tip and maybe make Goddess cancel that Bali trip. Aesha is a social worker. She basically bonked out because there were emotions and jealousies oozing from the rocket's mouth. "That bitch is crazy, relationships don't look like that no more. Google it." 28-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Camp, Celebrity, Chemistry, Comedy, Drama, Emasculating, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Lesbian, Maddening, Overcooked, Pitchy, Political, Reality, Relationships, Shrill Act, Silly, Suspense, Tacky, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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27-Oct-2020


Love Island (2019-) Bites

S2E32. Women are no longer viable as sexual beings so I'm doing a gay male review. Johnny is the gorgeous god you play with but don't mess with. Carrington is the luscious top boy whose ass you have to taste. You're hooking up with Caleb even though your instincts are crushing you because his game is really really good and Calvin looks like the cousin that introduced me to naughty sex. 16-Oct-2020
Something's missing. Is it the "I kin kill a beah and cook it for ya" supervisor with capabilities accent or the females slightly squeakier version of it? Americans don't care. They rather complain about Cuties than judge the real culprit...themselves. There's "yeah, you're cute poor," "waving anatomy parts freely on a farm, dirt poor," "just fucking desperate and will fuck for a Walmart gift card piss ass poor." (Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you meant gif.) 20-Sep-2020
I love "Casa de Amor," wherein sexual workers extract the soul of a man through penile engrossment. 16-Sep-2020
The police sirens add amateur porn reality. 09-Sep-2020
The UK version redeemed its relevance. Horny younglings released from quarantine onto a desert mirage of true love. Fuck the boys and do not marry the girls. 08-Sep-2020
Finale. My manhood has been restored. I felt absolutely nothing. 13-Aug-2019
Toxic playpen wherein a woman's suffering and desperation is a man's empowerment. 01-Aug-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accident Watch, Best In Horror, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Juvenile, Predictable, Reality, Repetitive, Sexist, Static, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Tired

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16-Oct-2020


90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After Tell All (2020)  Woof

Angela, did you get into a fight? Mrs. Bates is hilarious. Eric acted like he took a course in clowning and failed. Since when does family own individuals? The way people act on social media is how they treat each other at home? Eeek. No one has a free thought. If Michael needs his aunty to teach Angela what he is entitled to, he is not the man for the "babymaking" job. So say the spirits. The host asked Syngin to wave his hair back and forth and I chilled. 07-Oct-2020
Andrei was a cause for American consternation as he declared himself a jigger, a wife, a mother, the household and the man of the house. The Americans reacted like someone took their right to vote away. I would have been much angrier at him if I weren't imagining him motorboating Larissa while Syngin jumped up and down, hair back and forth. Joy. Norman and Mrs. Bates tried to state their case for the normalization of psycho. "She deserved it, she's a money grubbing whore." So was Janet Leigh but she didn't deserve to die. The rocking chair (mother) attempted to stabilize the accusations but Norman was too busy slobbering onto the cameras. It's ok, only fat hags, 12 year olds and stoopid girls got the gist. Eric seemed frustrated that there was no camera under his seat. So was I! Tonya only chimed in when the word psycho or narcissistic was raised. I wasn't looking at Angela's mask, I was looking at the bruises and scratches on her arms. Asuelo is not playing volleyball every day. Nobody likes the sport that much unless you're a coach, an athlete or someone who can hit. He looks like neither. The only thing he's hitting is his dick. 27-Sep-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Emasculating, Fun Acting, Funny, Hot Swatch, Hyper, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Political, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Shrill Act, Silly, Travel, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tough

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07-Oct-2020


Married At First Sight Australia (2015-)  Woof

Reunion. There was gutting and burning of Stacey's roving vagina and the start of a juicy witch trial. 01-Oct-2020
Final Vows. Mishel and Steve were attacked by bugs during their ceremonials as Mishel snipped the last of Steve's woody. She should have saved her empowerment speech for the experts. They're the ones with the lousy pickers. I'm sure Hades could do with a cut. Lizzie sans makeup is beautiful. I get her now. It looks like Thor may be unambitious but he has a golden hammer. The upcoming reunion seems to solidify why Stacey and Michael deserve each other. 25-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fun, Funny, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Overcooked, Psychological, Reality, Romance, Star Watt, Sweet

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01-Oct-2020


90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? (2016-) Woof

Angela acted up a storm quantifying why she chose dik before mom. Octus ran out of Brazilian opportunists and blamed his mom for his douchery. Mama Bates deduced that Norman must fend for himself and she laughed and laughed. Syngin couldn't figure out if to get fatter or stay home. I'm still fucking Andrei with my eyes closed. Asuelu can't claim to be the head of a tribe if he doesn't provide for it. If he is the chief the mother claims him to be, there would be no money problems because big man would have earned it. Fuck him Kalani. More Eric ass "money shots" and Larissa charms enclosed. 23-Sep-2020
Kalani & Asuelu. Asuelu's family is a condition of suffering and bullshit that Kalani and her children don't need to burden themselves with. Elizabeth & Andrei. He's a monster you greedily fuck but never stare deep at. The wedding was mafia orchestration with lots of pork for meaty man ass and aggressive bulges. Sweet daddy footed the bill and big brother spat indignation. Paul & Karine. I finally understand why he took Karine to the shit chocolate waste factory. He wanted to show her that the worst places in America are still better than her hometown. What a dik. Colt sounds and looks like Octus from Sym-Bionic Titan, has the etiquette of an unwanted hand slider and creepy as fuck. His contempt and desire for women bulldozes their goals. Mother is the beast he can't slay so every woman is fodder. Larissa & Eric. Larissa was knocked out under plastic so Eric enacted a silly skit where it appeared he waited hours (7 mins. tops) but it was just an excuse to watch him pace back and forth. It was all fake worry and new booby play anticipation. Without the charms of Larissa to entertain us the cameraman oddly opted to focus on Eric's sloppy, puffed out and squishy ass print. 14-Sep-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Funny, Insulting, Juvenile, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Squish Alert, Tacky, Travel, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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23-Sep-2020


Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)  Howl

The female staff dressed as transexuals for rich man money. Chef Robin (w/out Batman) had a hissy over warm temp fish. Rich people eat food below a 5 temperature. Wow. So is a 12 poor people food? Captain supported the Chef hissies up to a point. As soon as he thought wearing panties constituted a vagina, Cap put her in her place. He was still backdoor bitchy but an ass-fingering calmed him down. Pretty Jesus pretended his dick was a cucumber. Pretty Jesus and rocket were getting it on when Deck Ratched established that rich assholes don't pay to watch the holy fuck. Really? 22-Sep-2020
Male money devised a rich plan to swipe female crew. Teach them self-defense and let them win. Hysterical.

Aesha missed "normal" people.

Chef Nasty Fucker lost it over some fresh dick sponges that didn't arrive in time. 14-Sep-2020
The snow sifter moved the boat all by herself and saved two lives. Lots of energy. She saved a charter that confused her high legs with her sea legs and a comrade that floats. A charter concocted a clever way to call her friend a fat fuck. She only apologized after hot daddy snapped her neck back into place. Chef served no legs but bounteous food. I wished it had been the other way around. A sense of draining exhaustion hit pretty Jesus when his ex reached out. I saw his dik shrink during his Shakespearean outbursts and disappear when his rocket sat next to him. It's ok rocket, his next girlfriend is going to fuck the pretty right out him. 31-Aug-2020
Post Hannah all is a celebration of what I term "cute." Romance rides the waves to titanic (disaster,) dancers make it back onboard (fear), fuckers got trained to listen (men,) guests returned to sliming (sex,) all because Hanna no longer breathes the same air. I miss being depressed with Hannah...and Kiko. 25-Aug-2020
Captain got "Ellen" on Hannah.

Hannah was lawfully hoisted.

Malia kept lawfully exonerating herself, for the cameras. (Boat snatching is a job requisite.)

A charter who wanted to make Bugs a bunny brought a 32" dildo onboard for the crew to connect with and for Bugs to twirl. They missed a golden opportunity by not introducing it to the captain. The dildo wasn't as offensive as the person who needed it and used it.

Complicit Chef leggy suffers from prissy imperfection anxiety. Shells on a shell plate is a no no. White people don't chew. It's suck, swallow. No wonder Malia needs control of the boat. 17-Aug-2020
New sweet gams squish.

Malia commandeered the entire boat but mostly Hannah, so she can have squishy time with her boyfriend. A deed that would end up in court if a man lead the charge.

Why is Adam allowed worst sexual innuendo etiquette than dickhand? Where's dickhand? 11-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Comedy, Drama, Fun, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Thriller, Travel, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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22-Sep-2020


Married At First Sight Australia (2015-)  WoofUpgrade

If I weren't still hungry from dinner, I would have puked my brains out. For some reason we need to digest the current season like an antacid. The best liars snatch it, the most compulsive insult it, the most demure destroy it and anyone with a useless dick gets slaughtered. That's all I could devise through the loud Disney orchestra. 18-Sep-2020
Auditions were revealed. Michael has "a type" he likes to torture. Lucky for brunettes (except Hayley) and diversity. Rainbow Connection (Drew) doesn't want to unite with material affection (KC.) Drusilla is less gruesome as a blonde but not as a person. She splintered Thor's hammer. Connie has to be a beneficiary of the Bates Motel. She came on so she can utilize the provided acne treatments that are working marvelously but not endearing her to the hostage. Give Korak a break. He didn't vine through the wilderness to marry Leah Michele. Hades (the expert) left the God clouds to deliver Pandora's box filled with lame curiosities and firecrackers lobbed at Steve. Steve expected Tik Tok and got Yahoo. That's expert quackery. Steve and Korak don't want to offend their women. They want to bestow them a sense of self so when they get dumped they can courageously move on. Not also means no. 10-Sep-2020
Steve finally caved to all the sexual harassment and obliged Mishel with some affection. Daddy bedded her with his little friend Teddy and it was cute. Mishel complained to the girls that he didn't grab anything worth a molestation charge. Male etiquette is to feel up whatever lays next to them. Mishel will regain her powers when she realizes it was her decision to make not his. The surprises were meant to have Michael shit his pants but it looks like he drank them away. New memories forgotten. A marriage nemesis returned. Thank you.

I almost forgot. Korak's mother made him a shirt out of jungle baby diapers. 28-Aug-2020
The experts torched Steve for not grabbing free pussy. It's part of the experiment. Connie broke the couples' hearts by displaying the vulnerabilities that get your partner bullied. Even Michael empathized. When she threw down the Korak imprisonment card, it felt a little psycho. Haha heehee hoho. 27-Aug-2020
Drusilla's family attempted to shove Thor's hammer up his butt but all he did was turn Red Hulk. The couples attempted to stake Drusilla at the fact check dinner for sinking her teeth into everyone's marriage. Korak was chastised yet again for flipping on vines that don't land on Connie. He admitted no attraction to her as his peers snipped at what was left of his dick. Steve was bullied for considering Mishel a friend. If women continue to pressure men about sex, rapey assholes will presume they asked for it. 21-Aug-2020
Oh no. It looks like Steve texted the mafia sexline. Wifey homesteads were a dick shrinking female gangbang, raping hubbies for not reaching a solid woody for their family member. Mike realized Stacey is a Bravo housewife lost on a different channel. Drew took a bullet and admitted how men really feel about botox. All KC wanted was for him to pretend that she was as special as she pretends him to be. The unhealthy connived Thor into getting a unity tattoo. He put it somewhere his future girlfriend wont look. Korak (Tarzan's boy) was held and questioned severely by the Karen squad. Mishel's amazons served the best spread and conducted the most adult conversation. Mama whipped it up and defined it. 20-Aug-2020
Aleks and Ivan scooted before more truth warranted it. Vroom. Vroom.

Thor did a Terminator imitation and brought his hammer to school to show the teaching experts and opinionated students the beautiful but unhealthy bride it slammed.

Jonethen was chastised by the group for complimenting Connie and admitting his willy doesn't want to greet her. The only truth a woman wants to hear is the best lie a man can concoct to make fairytales come true.

KC and Drew. Drew's teddy rainbow collection received support.

Mishel and Steve are the cutest right now. Maybe he can, maybe he will. If they do, please enjoy it. 14-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fun, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Maddening, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Sentimental, Shrill Act, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, World

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18-Sep-2020


90 Day Fiance: Couples Tell All (2019) Woof

The word soulmate has been destroyed for me. Why does anyone think that another soul can be connected to you for eternity but not death. Tania is the female empowerment culled from watching too much Nick sitcoms and Jane The Virgin. Syngin needs to squish right out of there before he turns to squash. Anny. He's looting your ass. Mamita tell the grandmother you want a job in porn. Too bad for the cute kid. Juliana & Michael. I hope to see the Lifetime version of how it went down ten years later. Lesbian Ex Killers... Fuck 'em attitude all the way. Emily & Sasha. Girl, he fucked me at the gym. Good luck not reaching for them cookies. Jasmin is so ravenous that she turned Blake's eyes blue. Anna & Mursel. I can't tell if it's genuine but her son Joey isn't opposed to the marriage because he lost control of the household it's because he really thinks something is afoot and mama ignored it. The psychology is outdated. Mike & Natalie. Natalie is calling bullshit on the process by establishing that there is more than one reason to get a green card, she' just being brutally honest about the demands. Nice men always follow bad boys by giving everything but pleasure. Mike & Juliana. Walking on broken glass. Michael & Angela. Angela is the aggressor that will lead you out of danger. Her hopes and dreams are so gigantic that she almost makes it seem possible. She deserves to get herself some. Angela, the buffoons have been cursed. Wink, Wink. Twitch. Kaboom! 30-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Comic Book, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Emasculating, Fun Acting, Funny, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Political, Predictable, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Sentimental, Showy, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Supremacism, Suspense, Sweet, Tacky, Tough, Warbly, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, World, Writ Basic

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30-Aug-2020


Married At First Sight (2014-)  Woof

In order for a woman to sit mightily on her throne, the man she bestows knighthood to must bend at the knee. The effect: with no training or heroes to emulate the men choose to cease and desist (they aint fucking.) The opportunistic molester will always grab and persist but the rest of the men are scared.

Woody does not want to be married to a "warrior woman." Karen is still not attracted to her wife. Tree banger lives in a tiny house and banger wife lives in a tree. Olivia declared that travel is the key to human preeminence. Yes, because that instantaneous joy that recedes upon return will sustain a person during "starvation days." (Maybe if she fucked her husband - before someone else does - it would feel like a trip.) Does the bird really live in a bird house? 26-Aug-2020
The mermaid nosedived as the bird perched steadily on a board in the water. The mermaid tried to fry-cook another wife's bird.

Brett is such a horny man he can fuck his wife. She only gets holidays off. Olivia can expect a future filled with hookers and babies. Brett squirms so much I saw his toilet face. Olivia spoke about her constant need to stay in touch with friends and family. Brett reaches to no one, not mother (esp. not her,) not anyone, except maybe his cat. His reaction to her insistence was a fuck-off to her friends and family followed by a villain grin for the camera. He spent too much time talking to pussy and not real people.

Somebody stepped on piss, all week.

Karen could not accept her husband's mental illness. She had such a perfect childhood. No trauma that would make anyone protest on any street. It's not manly. Only girls and sissies get it. She didn't sign up to marry a woman. When she grouped with the wives, she started slashing into her new "wife" but Banger wife stepped in and interrupted. Lady diva worries too much. The beast will come out as soon as she makes him depressed.

The Bangers. The wife needs to comb her hair as many times as she flosses.

The group session was awkward for the men and resentful for the women. The white husbands squirmed in unison when asked to mathematize their relationships. 19-Aug-2020
I pictured Brett saying "that fucking bitch" before and after every sentence. "I loved that fucking bitch. That fucking bitch cheated on me. I forgave that fucking bitch. That fucking bitch cheated on me again. I hate that fucking bitch. I'm so lucky to be married."

Calling your wife a cougar is just a polite invitation to a bedroom dinner. Karen complained that 10 monogamous relationships was too much for a 26 year old man. I've had ten relationships in one month. No need to worry. It means he meets the demand for 11 women.

Woody's fingers shrunk in the pool as well as some thing in the shower, later. Woody also thought it was cute that the Banger tree swam with his junk out in front of Amani. Weird is the new sex offender.

The mermaid princess hawked her bird into deep waters, environmental waste and wobbly streets. He failed at all of it. When he literally flapped his arms, it made my day. 13-Aug-2020
The mermaid is a pisser and the bird continues to flap involuntarily and very quietly.

The bangers and their respective families are competing to weird us out.

If Brett's face and body moved according to the sound of his voice, I'd believe everything he says.

Woody's mask is hiding the devil inside. 06-Aug-2020
The show has outlined relations for the future.

What a man thinks when he meets a prospective woman:

"Can I fuck her?"

"Will she fuck me?"

"Opinion chatter?"

"She does."

"Business travel!"

Amelia & Bennett. The theory bangers. When the bride spoke with groom besties I envisioned a spontaneous and loving future group dinner. Bennett is a vegan and likes female hairy armpit. I hope she's crispy.

Amani & Woody. His Sammy persona tears. Too much spunk. I thought Amani daddies were a gay couple. Brute gave that boy a death grip. Amani swung her umbrella and his with ease and joy.

Olivia & Brett. He has Dracula Wives for besties and he lost the mojo to an unzip.

Christina & Henry. The shallow mermaid and that bird she's always hanging around with. It's a show for her to put on and him to swallow. Henry's father proclaimed himself eligible for PFLAG by stating that his son is being the sissy boy the present needs him to be. The rest of the family outed him further during their toasts. They pick on everyone. She'll get used to it.

Karen & Miles. Thunder and lightning. What he wants from marriage is a family to lead. When she made him rub her feet he felt so last century. 29-Jul-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Emasculating, Funny, Gay Swatch, Home Improvement, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Twisty, Variety, Warbly, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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26-Aug-2020


Married At First Sight Australia (2015-) WoofUpgrade

Thor hammered Drusilla (Buffy/Angel) into place. She was the hostess with listening skills.

When women unite its for solidarity when men do is to wreck. If Michael attacks vagina the way he did Aleks I can see why Stacey stayed a bit. For every ball that popped from a man's zipper there was a female clipper on standby. The boys didn't win because their time is never but they broke her enough to make a girl out of her.

Mishel and Steve served some Kanga and it was sort of cute if you're there but cringey watching from home. I entered Steve in the gay freebies league. We hand out exclusive bjs to needy fit seniors, celebrities and straight men. All done by text. (Yes, Michael gets a discount.)

Creep racer used his mates to rev Aleks up but all it did was bring forth how fast or creepy he may be. Whatever the problem, the X marks the same spot. Eek.
 13-Aug-2020
The wives were sideswiped by hubbies, families and friends. Drew, from the rainbow toy collection, arched his back in pride as KC was blasted by his mother monster. The toys exist to entertain his dates. Ivan turned into a creep racer and Aleks woke up. Mishel needs to allow Steve time to switch his sexual identity towards her or not. No more talking. Seb sliced Lizzie's unhealthy appearance which he fixed with a bone rub and a kiss. I can add privileged to Stacey's hub slime. If Jonethen doesn't watch out, he'll accidentally enter Connie because of that foot in his mouth. She doesn't understand. Run. 07-Aug-2020
Mishel could balance on the ladder steadier if she grabbed onto reality. It is hard to live by one mentality when others won't. Men are molded by ego and sex. Daddy Steve from a children's book usurped his power by insinuating his coolness should have indicated to the experts that he deserved a twinkly and less in charge wife. I believe he tried but the email he wrote his willy wouldn't SEND. Hey, I think she's beautiful but I wouldn't sleep with her either. It never would have mattered when he said it, the reaction would have been the same. The rampage was preordained.

I wish they could find a way for Hayley to return. Happily divorced and remarried. There is young love to smash, daddy behemoths to best and she can terrorize the squirmy one with the smashing ring finger. 01-Aug-2020
Future prediction: men and women will isolate from each other until the government lottery calls their # for procreation. The women will raise the girls; the men, the boys. No more raping, violence or in-charge arguments, amongst each other. The gays will gladly step up and be the bitches men want and the mother a boy needs. Mom and dad need to get rid of the fairy tale. Y'all hate each other! 18-Jul-2020
S7E7. It imposes fairytale concoctions on vulnerable beings and grants them the consideration that anyone can get married.

The experts are new age gods matching the expectant with the inexplicable. (I kept seeing nature every time they talked.)

Looks, age, discrepancies and peculiarities don't matter. If you change your outlook, the judgment retires.

People get really seriously brutally honest.

I am spooked, clenched and devoured. 21-Jun-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Abuse, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Camp, Drama, Emasculating, Funny, Gay Swatch, Lesbian, Mean Spirited, No Chemistry, Over the Top, Overcooked, Political, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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13-Aug-2020


Love Island Australia (2018-) Arf

I missed the UK version so much that I resorted to this backup. This is a different animal, full of seriousness and ferocity.

The men are cave dwellers and the women, the suppliers that keep toxic men conquering.

If all a woman wants is bigness, handsomeness, grunting and darkness you are forsaking the feminist dream.

The brutality of what each sex stands for baffles me. 29-Jun-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Hot Swatch, Maddening, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Squish Alert, Unfunny, Wit Crack

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29-Jun-2020


Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-) ArfUpgradeWoof

Jen protested and slimed with the cook.

Georgia celebrated freedom by calling Jen a bully and telling her bff that she had designs on her husband. She goes Love Island and tells daddy too.

Paget's dick-o-meter flew in so many directions, I thought he was going to explode. Every time he got close to Ciara, the meter resisted, it was pointing elsewhere and he made it obvious. The moment when his meter is pointed straight at her (his worth,) is priceless.

Happy deck grew on me.

Adam's chirpiness can come off as secretly plotting.

Byron finally got to go home and put all those nasty thoughts to rest.

Madison is a bright spot that makes me laugh.

The captain earned his daddy stripes. 29-May-2020
The dysfunctional guests creeped and Popeye politely reprimanded Olive Oyl for spending too much time on Adam's face and she reciprocated by using her female empowerment to rampage against her underlings and proclaiming that man worship prioritizes all job responsibilities. 19-May-2020
Adam got horny again.

Women are impeded from good work with a penis in their face.

Madison's stab at Kim and Kanye, beheaded.

Happy deck's pajama bulge might warrant why he's happy.

Ciara couldn't curtail her man so she turned in a female colleague. Brava! That's empowerment. 11-May-2020
Captain had his spinach and almost blew the boat over.

Madison only bitched for half the show. Joy.

Georgia needs to drop her mic.

Parker in his skivvies. I think I found Georgia's mic.

Jenna was groundhogging... miscommunication with man, over and over.

Come on Ciara, you can take her.

Adam. He only found his trousers after cuming inside Jenna. She is safe until the next cycle.

LOL. 05-May-2020
A dangerous threesome is about to explode. May the best woman win? Really?

Georgia, you shouldn't flirt if it changes the flow.

Madison appeared to be chill, creating negative balls of energy to allow us to perceive and laugh at the ridiculous circumstances they are in but she's being ghost boated because she truly truly believes it.

Byron doesn't talk much but gives the impression that he's always thinking about sex.

Adam didn't realize that women appreciate the money put into getting them flowers. It has nothing to do with flowers.

There is way too much happiness emanating from the new deck.

The boat was stocked with super Cleopatras on tiptoe allowing macho toxicity to beg for something women no longer give. The primary pulled away from a hug before giving it and handed the captain the envelope on the second reach. That felt very supreme.

Alas, the best was saved for last, as the cameraman went Hitchcock and directed Adam's rampage like the conversations Norman Bates had with his mother. If it was true, it was sadly hilarious. 28-Apr-2020
Money solved all their problems.

The only funny the brutes laid out was calling chef, Ted Bundy. The saddest thing chef did was exhibit why. 17-Mar-2020
The chugalug got invaded by woke tacks radiating American political correctness as growled on social media. They use the black guy to intimidate the boat, they have no respect for work, time, money or sex and the show needs to punish them for it. I know that cameramen don't interfere but under these circumstances they have to. Is that a rule now?

(I think the chief stew and the chef get paid extra to hookup.) 10-Mar-2020
Sailing is an experience that whelms whilst you're doing it. Watching people and things keel over only titillates once.

The crew is intent on capturing attention but they are bland fish hooked on a line.

Pro reproduction banishment conversations are welcome. 26-Feb-2020

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Camp, Drama, Fatigue, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Showy, Shrill Act, Travel

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29-May-2020


Camp Getaway (2020-) No MoonsEarly Exit

It needs a serial killer. 13-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Discomfort, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Grating, Insulting, Juvenile, Out of Place, Reality, Relationships, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Static, Tacky, Warbly

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13-May-2020


Summer House (2017-) Whimper

Every party is a cleanse for every dream that wont come true. 07-May-2020
Truth party games. Wow, they really work.

The girls are friends again until the next bout of horniness trumps it. 01-May-2020
The green giant has sexual dysfunction and old people getting it on, is sick. 23-Apr-2020
Had no idea there was clamor for more. It's back to the future where we get to see grandpappy hook-ups in real time. "Me too" is a charity, feminine wiles are an exaltation, closets are for sex not coming out, women love big things, men are horny and crass mugs that only hold intelligent conversations whilst on the hunt and remain stupid after they fox it. I have no idea what they represent but my generation is enthralled and disturbed. 13-Mar-2020
A band-aid of happy endings. 29-Jul-2019
The gay got replaced by a floaty and a scary virgin. The elders are not aging gracefully and the show has gone from being my chore radio to white noise. When you watch reality TV you get to experience the damage our parents wrought. 23-Jul-2019
- Supreme Ken Doll (Kyle) needs to explore why he prefers living in a blur
- Waiting is a virtue (Amanda) - only if you know what you're waiting for
- Lindsay realized that change only happens when you apply it to yourself. Good for her
- The salt (Danielle) was overtaken by hot peppers (twins)
- The inactive (Stephen) needs to divert his hostility towards his parents. They are the reason he can't move forward
- The blistering giant's (Carl) self awareness allows him to take from life easily 19-Jul-2019
In season two they added salt to mild, endowed the gay with a bitch rap and the desperation from separation (relationships/careers) was dialed up a notch. Stephen needs to accept his het counterpart like he'd like to be. If he's really a friend he would appreciate Carl's flamboyance and his disregard for what people think of him. Hotness attracts men. Hot shit spills over. Unless you only have eyes for him...that's a different problem. 15-Jul-2019
It does stereotype well. Twins are still annoying, blondes are vacant, the gay needs an apron, the ex-fatboy is out for revenge and the women still have no clue what's flashing in a man's face. The man knows. Mind boggling. I may become obsessed by it or immune. 12-Jul-2019

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cliche, Fake, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Shrill Act, Tacky, Weird

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07-May-2020




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