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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Cold'

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Doctor Strange In The Multiverse... (2022) Arf

Making the audience cum doesn't make it good. As soon as the last drip is swallowed, it's forgotten. "I fucked whom?" 23-Jul-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Camp, Cliche, Cold, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, SciFi, Star Watt, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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23-Jul-2022


Nightmare Alley (2021) Arf

There are beautiful patches stitched to murder, carnivals and mentalists. AHS killed carnivals and mentalists are bullshit. The film squirts beauty of everything that's interestingly slight. Bradley Cooper's Stanton starts as an Eastwood Quiet Man and evolves into a charming egotistical salesman, like a virus. Don't sleazy salesman jabber all the time? When did he acquire it? He's so damn quiet. There are no spins to copied thoughts. It was a reenactment without approach. Toni Collette was gearing up for more. She gave daddy squish Bradley a deserved bath and finished him off like a gay would. I rewound 5 times then fell asleep. Toni deserved reciprocation. Cate Blanchett is an Eternal unharmed by copper platters. She is gold lame shimmering in every era with Lucille Ball regrets and Faye Dunaway determination. It needed to either move faster or interject some cool things in between. I expected more. 05-Feb-2022

Tags: 2020s, Cold, Daddy Squish, Director Hands Off Approach, Disappointment, Hot Swatch, Inactivity, Predictable, Silly, Slow, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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05-Feb-2022


Eternals (2021) Arf

Zhao contributes "beauty of art" and serenity to the MCU. The actors are sound comic book cutouts defying gravity with little purpose. A Galactus of significance would have created the conflict that Gods favor and audiences delight in. There was a sameness to the threat, a sadness to the truth and no color for the future. 13-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Cold, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Fantasy, Gay Swatch, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Pretty, Sentimental, Star Watt, Timid, Words Spoke

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13-Jan-2022


Passing (2021) Arf

Disturbing friend passing as white revives a childhood friendship with a black woman who lives like a white person. It is filmed in black and white so we don't notice how silly it would have appeared in color with lots of white powder on pale brown faces. In this case, the story needs to be brighter than grey. Why is Clare invading a stranger's home? People don't do that unless they're desperate. She was just bored. She stole attention from the children and her friends. She fucked her husband and talked shit about her behind her back. Nothing was executed. Everything was a hint. The stalker is married to a most ignorant white man. She's getting darker because she's tanning more. Hahaha. How did she handle pubic hairs? Unless bikini waxes were all the rage, women kept it bushed in the 20's. The white stupid husband didn't get to tell his story. Thompson and Negga gave it what it required but the director did not excite us with a Bette Davis and Joan Crawford type showdown. I wanted Thompson to rage at Negga for interrupting her housewife bliss. I wanted Negga to explain herself whilst she tore her hair out. What a waste! 05-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Cold, Director Experiment, Drama, Elegance, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Sentimental, Slow, Star Watt, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

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05-Jan-2022


Free Guy (2021) BitesEarly Exit

The premise is too outrageous to describe. Nerd becomes "toxic man" when he meets the inaccessible woman of his dreams. He lives in a game and not. I pondered. Is Ryan Reynolds funnier when the makers convince him it isn't supposed to be funny? Who knows. I accidentally turned on deaf of hearing mode and was perturbed by the narrator describing every fucking single thing that happened. I thought, what an annoying piece of shit then I realized the goof. Oops. I corrected it and fell asleep. I will review it properly later, or not. There wasn't much to like. 28-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Camp, Cold, Comedy, Corn, Depressing, Early Exit, Fantasy, Fatigue, Macho Posing, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Star Watt, Timid, Weird, Writer Humiliation

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28-Dec-2021


School Of Rock (2003) Whimper

"James Corden" type entertainer teaches genius diversity how to rock out. Sex, drugs and rock n roll. 23-Oct-2021

Tags: 2000s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cold, Comedy, Grating, Musical Bombast, Preposterous, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Weird

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23-Oct-2021


Iron Mistress, The (1952) Whimper

The mistress is a knife. Men are constantly dueling, women are constantly conquering. The woman is torn between great sex or better fashion. The love obsession keeps fumbling her preference. Her main preference keeps dueling and killing to break her iron will. Iron doesn't break as easily as a blade bends. The black experience is joyous, the thoughts are candy flavored and the premise is pristine, repetitive and dull. 30-Sep-2021

Tags: 1950s, Action, Cold, Drama, Mystery, Over the Top, Romance, Star Watt, Tedium, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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30-Sep-2021


Backfire (1950) Arf

A most pretty paraplegic is released from the hospital after a complete recovery. His best friend is missing. TG he bagged the prettiest nurse on the base. The pretty boy obsessed with his bestie treats his girlfriend like a nurse. Virginia Mayo's charms were lost on him. He needs to find "daddy." His friend is being accused of horrible crimes and it takes a tough pretty boy to find him. Too bad daddy was boring. There's a gay subtext somewhere but I couldn't figure it out. 18-Sep-2021

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Cold, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Slow, Timid, Wit Crack

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18-Sep-2021


Mitchells vs The Machines, The (2021) Whimper

Teen lesbian leaving for school, has her life upended when Siri takes over the world and her dorky family is in charge of saving it. The adventures rely on coincidence, loud family squabbles, pet abuse, girl empowerment, gay robots and swirly pops to the brain. The voices don't humanize or endear themselves to us. Does Michael Rianda really think that he sounds like a cute little boy? It ends like every new animation whose heart beats like a girl. Go, girls! Do whatever the fuck you want! 06-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Stomper, Cold, Comedy, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, SciFi, Shrill Act, Timid, Too Long, Unfunny, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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06-May-2021


Possessed (1947) Arf

Can a failed secret affair cause a woman temporary insanity? Sure. The film piles plenty of symptoms and Joan Crawford obsesses about inhabiting all of them. She's haunted, Scream Queen, scared, frightful, conniving, confused, grating, bitchy, mother farcical and "don't fuck with me" Joan. She splits every arc into a different character. It was brilliantly insane but it didn't work. The man that made her brain ache played the piano, was a wordmeister, could fuck and always looked tired. He dumps her on the eve of her first hallucination whilst continuing to remain in each other's lives. He's just as crazy as she is except he's not getting diagnosed because he is not a "woman." After being told countless of times that he would never love her, she marries an old rich bastard to get his goat, he "up yours" her by proposing to her stepdaughter and Ms. Joan has a ball going nuts. Unbelievable psychology and too much genre (drama, horror, mystery, crime, comedy, romance, musical, etc.) deflate it.

(People that are crazy don't know they're crazy.) 14-Apr-2021

Tags: 1940s, Camp, Cold, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Director Insanity, Drama, Elegance, Funny, Gay Swatch, Grating, Mystery, Over the Top, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Twisty, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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14-Apr-2021


Onward (2020) Arf

A beautifully crafted animation about unlocking traditional magic. Two brothers accidentally cast a spell that resurrects half of dad. No head or heart just crotch, ass, legs and feet. He profiles like a predator. He taps their shoes to announce to his victims they've been found.

My version: boy triggers a spell that brings complete daddy back. Hey, daddy's cool. Blah blah blah. If they want to keep him they have 24 hours to venture out and make it happen. They bond. They have beautiful memories and grand adventures without having to endure memorizing daddy's crotch and ass for 24 hours. Takeoff! Did cartoon daddy walk off the set in a huff? The filmmakers could not realize a finale for us. It was all hearsay. 08-Apr-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Camp, Cold, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultish, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Mystery, Predictable, Preposterous, Sentimental, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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08-Apr-2021


Two On A Guillotine (1965) Whimper

A most preposterous thing. Cesar Romero AKA first Joker is a magician with a sordid past and a death certificate. He promises in life that resusitating from death will be his greatest trick. He dies and estranged and long lost daughter shows up to qualify for the inheritance. If she can withstand a stay in his tacky castle of magic booby traps for whatever time period they specified, she will be legally rich. Thanks, daddy. There is a dumbwaiter and a maid frock ready and willing to share the riches if she fails. Connie Stevens was a wasted asset asked to look like perfection, scream normally, scream hysterically and faint at the sight of a Tiffany lamp... for hours. Cesar was under appreciated and underutilized. Dean Jones gave me baby hard-ons when he was trying to sell me a golden egg at Disney but is creepmeister now. He's fuckable with a swifty dump date. A rabbit gives away the scares, the reactions are ridiculous, the father becomes incestuous and the whole thing, except for Connie's hair is hilarious. 27-Nov-2020

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cold, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Funny, Horror, Hot Swatch, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Thriller, Writer Humiliation

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27-Nov-2020


Berserk (1967) Arf

Crotch daddy trapezes, animal obedience and special talent, Friday the 13th kill inspiration and madame Crawford eminence in charge. Welcome to the circus. Keep your eyes on daddy, mommy dearest and animal freaks to entertain the crap out of fun. 14-Nov-2020

Tags: 1960s, Camp, Chemistry, Cold, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Over the Top, Relationships, Revenge, Star Watt, Violent, Weird, Words Spoke

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14-Nov-2020


Children Of The Damned (1964) Arf

Only 6 of the damned children remain. They are diverse from different countries and brought together as gifted anomalies. The union creates a force amongst the children and the question of their humanity is evoked by anyone with a thought. The little buggers have a message. They kill because we kill. Man's interference with earth is not a save but a control. The kids exist to create balance. The adorable, horrible, little blonde wigs were missed but not needed. (I was curious to see how the minority children looked in them.) I'm sure they made the right decision. The mothers are ferociously hateful to them for making them live in an inescapable cold world. The fathers don't exist. The film expands and is its own thing but the explanation for the mythology bummed me out. 06-Oct-2020

Tags: 1960s, Action Fun, Cold, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Good Idea, Indecipherable, Mean Spirited, Music Swings, Political Satire, SciFi, Suspense, Tough, Words Spoke

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06-Oct-2020


Other, The (1972) Woof

How does a child born to experience early death cope with it? He is half of a thing that has bested him for eternity, a friend social media would fear and the fault that destroys all that's good in his life. They call themselves twins. The psychology is detailed, the children are nastily disturbing, the family's oblivion is exhausting but the origins of a maniac cracks. That a child can come up with such brilliant kills is horrendous. 02-Oct-2020

Tags: 1970s, Chemistry, Cold, Creepy, Director Experiment, Drama, Funny, Good Acting, Horror, Inspired, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Slow, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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02-Oct-2020




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