I was raised by Amazons. The women in my life were hierarchy. I was trained that all men are scum but they pay the rent so we have to put up with them. You may keep the ones that tickle the ivory longer than the ones that can pay the rent but that is an individual choice. I was going to be unique. I'd be raised as a boy with a female alpha mentality.

The only boyish thing I did was have sex with other boys/men. Ooh, that sounds girlish too. I did no boy things.

If we are allowed to accuse and punish we should be able to examine what weirds/drives them out. Changing what men hate should be a self realization and a compromise. I wanted out of girly world. I have a dick and I am nothing like them. I am not a girl. I wanted to be a boy like Pinocchio. (Scariest story ever because it's depraved and life has no happy ending and the "real" book made me hate it because it was my truth but it gave me hope. I will not be a schmuck puppet.) They never realized there was a boy underneath until the neighbors told them so. "Why isn't your boy married?" I became a lie that thrived but disappointed when I revealed the truth.

The men that popped up occasionally were full of drink, exhaustion, perversion and hate. The men bestowed me wisdoms about "you know who" and tips on how to sneak in extracurricular sex but then they disappeared or died. The parties were masquerades except when the tired broke free and exposed an ugly truth. The fairytale lasts as long as it takes a kid to fall asleep. Flirting, cheating and fights aplenty. The boys kept playing at Prince Charming while the women took credit for it. Somebody got laid, crowned, a new home and family whilst the other, got her rent paid. The kids were either in on the plan or out.

My mother and sister cured me of lying by aggressively harassing me. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I told a lie and got beat up, I told the truth and got beat up. I decided to tell the truth so it could mean something.

My stepfather stopped talking after his heart attack. He can but won't. He is so afraid to misspeak or insinuate the wrong thing to offend female empowerment that he stopped talking to my mother and everyone in the family because he can't handle the stress. He is being raised by Amazons. The exact same ones as I. He is a dumb alpha ex-jock stuck in a girly world and it's his punishment for cheating with whores. (Yeah, but he paid the rent!)

Mary Richards is my favorite feminist. She didn't want to downgrade men, she wanted to join them. She liked men. Lou the alpha respected her and everybody else adored her. Female empowerment is not about being a "Queen." If you want to be a Queen move to England. All's fair in love and war. That doesn't sound equal to me. We must remember that when "he" declares it. 02-Apr-2021

One of the most mystifying gifts my mother laid on me this year is for me to stop pretending to be black and just be white. She's never seen me as anything but, so it is so. Racism doesn't apply to me because she's always seen me as white. LOL. It was said in an advisory tone to offset future guilt. Head explosion. If I went outside right now and declared I was white they would shoot me. I'm not black because my hair don't kink, she says. (2 blunts.) My nephews and nieces are black because their fathers and mothers are really black. There are no black people in Puerto Rico. They're Indian. Body collapse. 25-Dec-2020

The boy who defined my sex was a Jehovah's Witness and my cousin. I was his sex obedient from age 8 to 18 (when he bored of me.) He took my sex while I was asleep as I woke to a dry and cold orgasm.

I gave him a hickey the night before he wed his first 12 year old bride. When I came out to him at 16 he used the moment to remind me that I should never mention having sex with him and his brother (they were straight) and that he had a penchant for children. It was a chilling moment. Five wives under the age of 13, countless children, countless cover-ups from the family and the church and innumerate weddings that my cousins and I forced smiles for. I was a Jehovah's Witness too but I quit because they couldn't cohesively answer "why I couldn't celebrate my birthday."

The monster tired of his wives at the age of 18. The family joke was that they woke up. The reality was that he violently possessed them. He gained sympathy and property of his children and was regarded as a great father because the children seemed overly physically attached to him. He carried them around like monkeys. He was the only one allowed to touch them. The family celebrated every child marriage and birth like it was holy. He was a beloved violent boxer.

When I told my mother, she was flabbergasted. All boys do that. I snitched on the family. Bullshit! Get over it! Family first! Do not discuss this with your sister (the saint?)

My cousin was a teen heartthrob. The mothers gushed, the women flirted and the girls were overcome. He was a Puerto Rican with blue eyes, freckles and red hair that cascaded in the wind. What I saw was the guy from Mad Magazine with a diabolical edge. Women are funny. 06-Feb-2019