Wisps Posts Tagged as 'Psychology'
Welcome to Errattic! We encourage you to customize the type of information you see here by clicking the Preferences link on the top of this page.
I came out to my mother when I was 17 years old and no longer residing in her household. I didn't expect a good reaction so I called her on a public phone and announced it to her. She cried, became quiet and told me she suspected it but that she loved me, no matter what. I didn't have to lie to mother anymore. It was freeing. I visited her a few days later. She had time to absorb and ponder having a gay son. She cried again, I asked why and she said because being gay meant I was destined for a miserable life. That's impossible, it was such an overwhelming feeling to be me. I had to prove her wrong. She asserted conditions for my new identity: no meeting of "my men," I must continue to have a masculine presence, especially around family and don't get sick. I ignored her, introduced her to every one, told as much of the family as I could bear and kept my masculinity in check.
My mother recently confided to me that she used to receive dick pics from my croc daddy in the US mail while I was living with him. I thought, he might have done it as revenge for my unwillingness to absorb giant dick pain and or tricking him into being a gay bottom. When I took him to Gay Pride he cried because he thought I mistook him for one of those. He was straight. His shit was no joke but he was. A child molester was my educator and entrance into the gay world. I also figured my mother and I were even. Her boyfriend tried to brutally rape me. Mother's boyfriend was two years older than me, my croc daddy was 55. Our boyfriends shared the same culture, understood the nuances that make people vulnerable, and always seemed to be creepily plotting something sexual for us. Neither man represented our community. They were perverts sidling up to mommies so they could play with their children. (Now I know why she tried to cut him out of my photo albums.) I understand her comments and I realized her concern. My gay education came from perverts. The community hates itself more than the media loves it. Clicks work for a minute, the families we create are fake and we all die alone. We need less "Boys In The Band" depression and more gay reality awareness so we can come up with better coping mechanisms. Not smile at weirdos taking advantage of us because of politically correct etiquette.
I apologized to my mother. My croc stalked me, stole from us, used me, beat me up, tied me up and raped me. Afterwards, he thought of not releasing me because he was afraid I would kill him. You bet your life! But I had no choice, I begged for my life, stroked the psycho's ego and he loosened one arm while he Soniced out of the apt. I was stalked by my ex, my mother was stalked by her ex and I was stalked by both exes. I spent a lifetime trying to prove mother's sentiment wrong but in the end, she was right.
(Pic of my daddy croak included. Mother destroyed my croak dic picks but y'all can ask mother if she kept her copy.) 26-Oct-2020
The cure for fires is to cement everything. Fuck nature and its pretty little flowers that attracts women and environmental infestations. We preserve the necessary and digress from planting sequoia seeds in a trailer park. We're too stupid to be The Jetsons so we become "The Flintstones." We only light up when necessary. I know it works. It got us here. 19-Sep-2020
He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god.
Sometimes I feel all sexuality is based upon what a cis privileged man needs. 07-May-2020
Errattic is my third layer. 17-Oct-2019
We can't pretend to know anyone until they shed the third skin only victims (metaphorically) and accomplices are privy to. 15-Oct-2019
People can evolve but they can't change. 25-Aug-2019
Why is it that my mental health mostly takes a hit after talking to people? 21-Aug-2019
SIGMUND FREUD AND CHILD DEVELOPMENT
The path to mental health is constructed at home. 17-Aug-2019
To get a little more mileage out of your relationship, dump him 6 months in or before a "moving in" commitment. He'll never be distracted again. Until... 12-Jul-2019
I've changed my mind about spirituality. You can believe whatever you want as long as it keeps your heart beating and no one gets hurt. Amen. 14-May-2019
Editing porn granted me power over sex. 11-May-2019
Nature relies on co-dependency while humanity insinuates it's a mental risk. 09-May-2019
If you can’t predict the future ramifications of advice dispensed to your client you shouldn’t give it. Therapy, Psychology and Psychiatry should never be based on the trustee's personal beliefs. As a gay man in a relationship the go to at the slightest hint of a problem is to dispense with it and adopt another so you can empower yourself. You get to repeat the cycle again and again in every future relationship without ever resolving the problem. Causing chaos to an existing relationship is not betterment. We would never disrupt a straight marriage without pushback. All gays are not drawn the same. I don't care what anyone does in their relationships but forcing us into the web of revolving sex to end up lonely and suicidal is not what I'm striving for. Our community will never thrive if all we recommend is another mouth that bites.
When I came out I had romantic notions. The first thing our daddies teach is to share sex with multiple partners to the point of isolation and disrespect. I don't want to be a gaybot stereotype and I wish that we could recognize another form to communicate life satisfaction to each other. It offends me highly and we all end up miserable.
You might hold the pencil but I have an eraser.