The action sequences were fantastic, daddy Bond exhibited sausage and skills. Having muscles didn't hurt. I couldn't decide if the villain was ridiculous because of the actor or the writing. Sap killed the end. Bond doesn't need to announce what he's going to do. It kills the surprise. 24-Jun-2022

The film epitomizes what Hollywood has become. Every hand must be held and head patted, no matter their importance. New and shit are not synonymous with good. Someone put something in their drinks because they were wheezing in and out of accents and it was 100% contagious. It was a Gucci movie made by Soviets. None of the Italian performers generated a complaint that their families didn't sound like that? Gaga clutches her star watt with brilliance, outrageousness and hysterics. Ridley Scott found his niche, upgrading a Wayans production to mastery. 13-May-2022

The film needed a script doctor. The younglings have endured enough ugly world to be acting like babies. They turned Dr. Strange into a goofball with quips. They took away Spider-man's scathing witticisms and replaced them with awkward and cute. Electro is only as good as his paycheck and its effect. Sandman shook. Dock Ock was a fond memory. The boys came back, all grown up, giving us the feels. I wish Aunt May had not given a shit. She had no backbone. The younglings were greater than their material. They needed a drip of Willem Dafoe to stay great because they looked exhausted. Tech was brilliant comic book magic served on a flying carpet. 02-May-2022

Interracial girl struggles with her identity as a negro. Her career options are minimal and love opportunities arise from worst circumstances. God made her white and she needs to embrace it. She leaves her family and hut to explore buildings, money, pretty men, clothes, food and such. She ignores her nature and becomes the body she possesses, a woman with great choices and big mistakes. A Ken Doll makes her forget where she was born and she forgets about her family. The film has anger, insight, respect and hilarity. My favorite scene happens at a fancy business event where she dances like a black girl and the white guests notice. 28-Apr-2022

Child's emotions are awakened when she experiences Leak Week. A family curse has her turning into a fuzzy red panda that transforms her life and liberates her loins. She's becoming a woman. The family wants to keep the hairy beast on the downlow but children can't be remote controlled. The child keeps it padded with the support of friends and the hope to attend a concert of sex gods (a boy band.) The film is fresh, the music is sprite and the art is gorgeous. 20-Mar-2022

Menopausal shipping magnate dumps his business and distances himself from family because he wants to re-marry. The wife is a young Gloria Swanson playing a celebrated actress ready to retire with the old rich man of every woman's dream. She had money and success but wanted security. Adolphe Menjou was too cute and proper to put down but mama Swanson deserved to fuck his boring beautiful son. The film is split in three. Intro fears, adaptation, immigration, saving the planet and regretting it. Swanson and Menjou quarrel about masculinity and woman's liberation while receiving modern advice from the son and sweet wife. The event is Desi Arnaz as a stowaway on their honeymoon cruise where they decide to rescue him and offer him a lifestyle only the elite could afford. He can sing, shave and fuck like a bandit and he's pretty too. He deserved to fuck everybody including senior and junior. Swanson deserved to put him on her plate. Desi's accent was very light and we got to experience him how Lucy saw him. A beautiful ham. Its heart was distant, the comedy avoided the soul but the pretense was fun. 14-Mar-2022

Blindman wants to remain a dot, raising a stolen daughter, being stealthy and 100% sexless when it should be the opposite. Pervert! The child gets to choose the lesser of two evils. That's not fair. We get to know who the asshole is before the mystery begins. The clues to existence are ludicrous. Daddy's fun, kid has moments, all is a statement of life insecurity, terror and failure. The violence is pretty good. 12-Mar-2022

Apt sequel that glamorizes its predecessor and makes Leatherface a hero. It's a chill, spook and gay spectacular. 06-Mar-2022

The inestimable is the most hurtful. Brian Bonsall played Mikey, a throwaway child with trust, jealousy and psychotic issues. The actor had the smarts of an adult aware of its value. Everyone loves "new" adorable thing until it becomes codependent and angry. The conversations are the same as today, which freaked me out. "We're still talking about the same shit with the non-resolutions." Mikey is presented as an adoptive boy trying to adjust to a family that has suddenly enforced rules. They must die, the most inept investigators can't solve it and adorable little Mikey is psychoanalyzed for PTSD after secretly killing them. The psychiatrist frees him into the adoption system with an "all he needs is love" diagnosis and Mikey moves on to the next stupid family. Mikey has learned that electricity and water don't mix, you can hit real balls with bats, cops can't solve anything, mothers just stand there screaming while you're stabbing them to death and to remove the bullets from adult guns and disconnect their phones so they can't fight back. Empty guns waving in the dark. Elementary school sports training consisted of coaches deciding which boy would be a "skin" or a "shirt" for no apparent reason other than to be a pervert. Telling certain kids and not others to strip is insulting and absolutely gay. His favorite teacher becomes suspicious of the boy's monstrous tendencies when he adds marbles to her "marble game." A box is designated for the kids to drop marbles they earn for good deeds. The more marbles of goodness you inherit the quicker you can fill it so its doors burst open and you can receive a prize. She investigates his history but his adoption file is closed and the witnesses are minimal. There is no living thing that is safe when Mikey gets pissed. Will he spare no one? Kids dragging adult dead bodies, killing cats, feeding frogs to sharks, setting up the boyfriend and using a bow and arrow to kill are hilarious. Everything looks TV safe and appealing, the deaths are LOL and Bonsall keeps on giving. He is the conservative cunt that arises when successful families keep pushing the same subject without advancing. Mikey is the child liberated from bullshit. Baby boy is my new "Carrie."

PS: dudes, if she wants childrenx and you don't, show her this movie. Repeated viewing depends on her voracity for children and disdain for the film. Keep it downlow. We don't want to damage her. Keep it stealthily in the background and don't stop watching it. Make it a top ten of all time. Yeah, it's crap but its better than having a baby. 21-Feb-2022

A talented cast is assembled to remake a classic remade too many times with bigger bluster. A downfall of blockbusters but not of little films. They can sneak in some truth without being punished. It's a parody that attempts to bring circumstances, thoughts and decisions to the shenanigans. Idina has grade A moments in song and in soul sharing. Billy brought his showmanship. The prince passed the "inferno" test with a flip and a voice. We waited for Minnie Driver to awake and when it happens, it is fitting. 007 hits his marks like a gunslinger. Cabello looks like a waitress from different eras in all of her guises but she can sing, act, charm and have fun. I had fun. It belongs to a future cult. 13-Feb-2022

Red Notice fulfills "land of magic" type escapism. The writers created an intriguing caper and an enigmatic cast to play act it. Gal Gadot can act. Well. Daddy King Rock delighted in being the brunt of a joke, constantly, in fabulous fashion. Dickwad Reynolds steals it by being a cantankerous benevolent criminal who is also Deadpool. The director took advantage of its DCU historical significance and developed some solid characters. Heart tug. 11-Jan-2022

Venom is nothing without that spider boy splitting his ass in half. How fortunate that Tom Hardy has a dick-breaking ass. Venom's and Tom's duality don't combine. There are attempts to bring them together but talking to green screens is all it is. I imagined a wraparound as opposed to a pop out. I was aghast at how youthful and beautiful Mira Sorvino looked then realized with humiliation that it was Michelle Williams. Michelle got rid of the haughty accents, loosens up and shakes her sourpuss. Reid Scott was a supportive adorable dunce. I thought Stephen Graham was a Walhlberg doing a bad imitation of a better Wahlberg. Woody Harrelson was channeling an old white woman from the 1950's out on her last stroll. Go nuts, daddy! The film has no purpose except to destroy and sell but it has stupid entertainment value. I liked Asian Venom, they gave us a hint at Lady Venom and didn't dare realize a Drag Queen Venom. Why not? 07-Jan-2022

Growing moppet with a grudge against her invasive nanny, the privileged world that enslaves her and the widowed daddy that ignores her, retaliates. 12 year old booby traps a private box with written warnings to pique the witch's interest. It explodes. Opening the box proves the nanny's invasion of privacy and that the witch wasn't what daddy thought she was. They hire a female psychiatrist to observe and treat the child's behavior and change it for the better. Moppet warms to common sense, things with daddy improve and moppet is whirling in family heaven. A fourth wheel, a money grubbing whore, tears the moppet's fairy tale walls down and rebuilds them with shields of female entitlement by trying to marry the rich old bastard. Bitchfest! 01-Jan-2022

Abuelita sacrifices her husband to magic and gets a brand new house. The house is alive with sorcery, the family is gifted with trickery and the town thrives on bountiful happiness. Men are useless and goofy. Women are Amazonian of the nosey kind. They only get into trouble when they walk into it. The voice cast is dreamy but Lin-Manuel Miranda's music is back to infect my ears with disjointed melodies. I couldn't hang on to any musical notes because more confusing ones replaced them. He's taking our ears back to when we were babies adopting to hearing. Goo goo ga ga sounded like a song but it wasn't. The film was culturally unidentifiable as the latinos were nondescript living in fairy tale land with one family under God, controlling the whole town like the mafia. TG climate change arrives to kill their magic. Kudos to the voice actors and the artists. 30-Dec-2021

God was so angry at us in the 50's that he sent aliens with innovative tech to destroy us. The film details the science and the purpose. Actors are effective. Effects hold up. Its relevance withstands. 26-Nov-2021