TV Posts Tagged as 'Showy'
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Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)
The water not only messes with her hair but her brain too. Black girl sank the boat with her lack of irreverence. Malia's transition from Deck Ratched to the Flying Nun is not convincing. "Like that nerd would ever have a chance." Hahaha. There's a proud wench stew onboard and I sort of like her. The bullied cook is going to serve the crew for dinner. The captain was nowhere in sight. Sealab reports were due. 19-Jul-2021
Charter lottery wedding and pet murderers. Black female employees trump weak authority on a boat. "Shut the fuck up, white bitch!" Chef is so Don Knotts. Jumps at anything. The girls made fun of how unattractive the male crew was on a lesbian chugger. It's a safety mechanism women employ to keep an environment sex-free. Except, cis women will fuck anything! Malia pretended to be human by letting an underling sexually fantasize about her. 05-Jul-2021
The ban on black people serving the privileged has ended. Is that a tail I see between Malia's legs? It didn't stop her from making her male subordinate feel like a stereotype. You could tell a lesbian hired the male staff. Arf. Captain Sandy reminded me that lesbians pour great wine but can't cook. What a riot. It was so much fun watching the lizard charter choke on human food. 22-Jun-2021
Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-)
The crew got to serve a yachty slave crew. Captain confided his dick needed a wide angle lens to capture its full impact. Daisy couldn't leave the boat without making a feminine princess feel like she's worthless for liking scum dick. Colin has a crush on scum dick. He has a jealous eye and a broken heart. I hope he goes home, mourns his dog and makes peace with it. Sydney became diseased when the first mate rejected her. She smashed her vagina in front of the men and all they could do was swallow hard. Natasha was amusing. Alli is destined to be made fool of again, probably by Gary, on future TV. Gary needs to go oink. A good 12 inches should fix her. Bitch be cleaning the boat with her tongue. Sorry, mate. Samantha and giant Darrin were not promoted to anything. Bummer. 14-Jun-2021
The crew agreed that Gary should have never been born then promoted him. Gypsy woman entrapped Green Giant into having babies. Naughty mope. She'll take a green card from anywhere. Captain Pop got slurpy. Spydeck remains an enigma. Sydney still horny. 07-Jun-2021
It was the Hocus Pocus charter. Giant discovered his dick turned red because the bruja is using pussy cement. (I told you!) One of the high commanders from the witch colony claimed the coven was rejecting her because she was the most plastically altered/beautiful. I couldn't tell them apart. Captain was nerve wracked. He seemed like he was going to call his crew idiots and jump ship. Natasha served dessert in a trough for pigs. Really? Plastic people can make irreverent comments about lowly people but the lowliest should never be caught criticizing them. "We pay for the servitude, so shut up!" Poor Alli. Those bitches. 24-May-2021
The Captain was done in by mammoth equipment. A charter of women came to lounge, dispute and to show America that their lifestyle isn't healthy for anyone. The giant's penis is turning red and the culprit wants to jump ship. Brown girl lied. Daisy celebrated. Gary is living his best life. 18-May-2021
No critique. I felt like I was watching a special episode of Baywatch or worst, Flipper and took pity on them. 11-May-2021
Daisy was murdered and it had nothing to do with Natasha. Captain Pop was as befuddled by Daisy's lame attempt at a Murder Mystery Dinner as we were. He looked like the only adult at a kids' table. He should have been included somehow. It's not befitting a captain to appear lost. There are so many excellent swimmers on staff. Why didn't one of the crew get pushed overboard? It would have been dramatic. The giant saved the day then got disgusted when his chiquita showed interest in Alli's labia. The Chucky of the Sea tried to give Sydney a rise by making out with Alli like she was Sofia the First. Sydney got her revenge by informing the viewers how inadequate the Chuck is in bed. 03-May-2021
Family Karma (2020-)
They are just like us. They shove success in our faces, the women are in a vendetta to exploit "the man" and secrete his juices and all the men have gay flair. A macho verdict gets upset because his gay bestie is spreading rumors that he's sucked over a 100 cocks. The gay apologized only for saying it. Wink, wink. They pray to give thanks for the riches this country affords them as their country dies. Is that the karma? 03-Jun-2021
Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-)
Daisy's wish that brown girl would fail at everything was overridden by juju food seasoned to perfection that caused outbursts of joyful magical sensations. Daisy needed to check her own department. They left Captain Pop without any clean black sexy underwear. Are they nuts?! The citizen application seemed very disappointed that the giant fit. What does that mean? The tip of my baby finger is snug... that means he's...2. Two Feet? Would I have pointed it out if it was 2 feet? Oh shit. I would but in a different manner. The fairytale crushing Bizarro fuck accounts for her sudden flow of tears and romantic reminiscing. She will never be as good as this. Might as well fuck with this clown. The boat is full of juju and the señorita has a few powders of her own. (Is it the cement my mother prescribed to my best friend to make her husband think she was a virgin again?) Whatever brings her closer to opportunity. She meant home. She wants to give back. You can't have it all. Gary is a shag monster! Glistening soft drunks are the new swag. I asked him to lick me upside down and he did! You don't let guests dehydrate, especially nice ones. Giants tumble. 27-Apr-2021
Natasha told Daisy to "kiss off" by turning her food into art. Giants consume, peek and hibernate. Everyone wants a shot at Gary, his cheeky sensibility and spotless ass. I'm sure it slides right in. (Sorry, "man brain" on.) They spent a lot of time being defensive about smokers. Smokers separate as a courtesy to everyone and to bond with other smokers. So the fucking what. Everyone else wasted time obsessing over the idea that a human can do that. Sydney qualifies as a "pyscho sexual slut" who's gonna kill to get her man.
(Oops, "man brain" again. "I'm really trying, mama. Please don't hurt me!") 20-Apr-2021
Blame it all on Natasha. 15-Apr-2021
Captain Pop has the chill to relax and the stern to discipline. Ahoy. The gay charter were dressed in "red alerts." The Penguin threatened his pet Pugsley with the fat farm if he didn't stop eating after getting home. Ouch. Ok, then. Maybe the reason the boy devours food is because the family keeps turning meals into parties to avoid emotions. The marriage proposal to his daughter's boyfriend was cold, cruel and deserving. They appeared to seal a contract. It's a probability that the daughter is still with the boyfriend and faking it for their betterment or Penguin thought he could steal a good fuck for himself. Daughter stopped eating and drowned her woes in alcohol after the engagement and threw up. "You parental-privileged, fish-eating, fat shaming, climate swallowing, child torturing, slave driving, vagina-hating and inappropriate froth." 07-Apr-2021
A woman's kryptonite is a horny man whispering momentary sweet nothings in her ear. A man's kryptonite is his dick. The crew spins the bottle and force strangers to kiss. Decadent. A decent charter gets eclipsed by out of bound cliches. A gay father married to his daughter's ex, children with permanent scowls on their faces and exes riding the money trail onboard to poison the atmosphere. They sexually harassed a woman's giant, nose sniffed privilege and dick shrank perversion. Where's the progress? 29-May-2020
Dr. Seuss' The Grinch: Musical 2020)
The one time of the year where we show amnesty to a child predator banished to the caves because of a holiday. He turns green from a life of despair and lack of sexual perversity. Poor Max. Matthew Morrison is hated for his perfect curls, right amount of body hair, a nice gut and Leah Michelle professionalism and he knows it. Perfect casting for the The Grinch. The musical doesn't suck because of him, it is saved by him. A professional never sweats, never disconnects and never stops giving it their all. The mask lets him down but daddy was fully encapsulated. We hate daddy for calculating our pleasure but we'd eat it ASAP if we were caught in a forest or in a bathroom by accident. Wink. Wink. The songs are very outdated. Kids can't eat all the sweets that fill them. They don't know what sweets are and their parents can't remember why they banned them. It is a Whoville delicacy. The white bear meat looked really tasty too. Anyway, the pederast wants to destroy Whoville Christmas to honor the anniversary of when he got caught molesting a child that wasn't related. Cindy Lou saves the day, a green man woody makes a comeback, they all exchange presents they can't return and a molester makes it back home. 10-Dec-2020
90 Day Fiance: Couples Tell All (2019)
The word soulmate has been destroyed for me. Why does anyone think that another soul can be connected to you for eternity but not death. Tania is the female empowerment culled from watching too much Nick sitcoms and Jane The Virgin. Syngin needs to squish right out of there before he turns to squash. Anny. He's looting your ass. Mamita tell the grandmother you want a job in porn. Too bad for the cute kid. Juliana & Michael. I hope to see the Lifetime version of how it went down ten years later. Lesbian Ex Killers... Fuck 'em attitude all the way. Emily & Sasha. Girl, he fucked me at the gym. Good luck not reaching for them cookies. Jasmin is so ravenous that she turned Blake's eyes blue. Anna & Mursel. I can't tell if it's genuine but her son Joey isn't opposed to the marriage because he lost control of the household it's because he really thinks something is afoot and mama ignored it. The psychology is outdated. Mike & Natalie. Natalie is calling bullshit on the process by establishing that there is more than one reason to get a green card, she' just being brutally honest about the demands. Nice men always follow bad boys by giving everything but pleasure. Mike & Juliana. Walking on broken glass. Michael & Angela. Angela is the aggressor that will lead you out of danger. Her hopes and dreams are so gigantic that she almost makes it seem possible. She deserves to get herself some. Angela, the buffoons have been cursed. Wink, Wink. Twitch. Kaboom! 30-Aug-2020
Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-)
Jen protested and slimed with the cook.
Georgia celebrated freedom by calling Jen a bully and telling her bff that she had designs on her husband. She goes Love Island and tells daddy too.
Paget's dick-o-meter flew in so many directions, I thought he was going to explode. Every time he got close to Ciara, the meter resisted, it was pointing elsewhere and he made it obvious. The moment when his meter is pointed straight at her (his worth,) is priceless.
Happy deck grew on me.
Adam's chirpiness can come off as secretly plotting.
Byron finally got to go home and put all those nasty thoughts to rest.
Madison is a bright spot that makes me laugh.
The captain earned his daddy stripes. 29-May-2020
The dysfunctional guests creeped and Popeye politely reprimanded Olive Oyl for spending too much time on Adam's face and she reciprocated by using her female empowerment to rampage against her underlings and proclaiming that man worship prioritizes all job responsibilities. 19-May-2020
Adam got horny again.
Women are impeded from good work with a penis in their face.
Madison's stab at Kim and Kanye, beheaded.
Happy deck's pajama bulge might warrant why he's happy.
Ciara couldn't curtail her man so she turned in a female colleague. Brava! That's empowerment. 11-May-2020
Captain had his spinach and almost blew the boat over.
Madison only bitched for half the show. Joy.
Georgia needs to drop her mic.
Parker in his skivvies. I think I found Georgia's mic.
Jenna was groundhogging... miscommunication with man, over and over.
Come on Ciara, you can take her.
Adam. He only found his trousers after cuming inside Jenna. She is safe until the next cycle.
A dangerous threesome is about to explode. May the best woman win? Really?
Georgia, you shouldn't flirt if it changes the flow.
Madison appeared to be chill, creating negative balls of energy to allow us to perceive and laugh at the ridiculous circumstances they are in but she's being ghost boated because she truly truly believes it.
Byron doesn't talk much but gives the impression that he's always thinking about sex.
Adam didn't realize that women appreciate the money put into getting them flowers. It has nothing to do with flowers.
There is way too much happiness emanating from the new deck.
The boat was stocked with super Cleopatras on tiptoe allowing macho toxicity to beg for something women no longer give. The primary pulled away from a hug before giving it and handed the captain the envelope on the second reach. That felt very supreme.
Alas, the best was saved for last, as the cameraman went Hitchcock and directed Adam's rampage like the conversations Norman Bates had with his mother. If it was true, it was sadly hilarious. 28-Apr-2020
Money solved all their problems.
The only funny the brutes laid out was calling chef, Ted Bundy. The saddest thing chef did was exhibit why. 17-Mar-2020
The chugalug got invaded by woke tacks radiating American political correctness as growled on social media. They use the black guy to intimidate the boat, they have no respect for work, time, money or sex and the show needs to punish them for it. I know that cameramen don't interfere but under these circumstances they have to. Is that a rule now?
(I think the chief stew and the chef get paid extra to hookup.) 10-Mar-2020
Sailing is an experience that whelms whilst you're doing it. Watching people and things keel over only titillates once.
The crew is intent on capturing attention but they are bland fish hooked on a line.
Pro reproduction banishment conversations are welcome. 26-Feb-2020
Tiger King (2020-)
S1E3. I'm neither addicted, intrigued, impressed, or willing to give a shit. 01-Apr-2020
I tuned in out of curiosity and to give its subject, the benefit of the doubt. I wasn't raised in an environment where I thought hooligans were cute and my idea of celebrating such buffoonery leaves me speechless. Not one soul appears to have one and the glorification of fake swagger has me flatlining. I don't believe in fucking with mother nature or God's fucking plan and I don't believe in making a profit from exploiting it.
(If I change my mind I'll expose myself again.) 01-Apr-2020
American Music Awards (2019)
I have no words... 25-Nov-2019
90 Day Fiance: The Other Way, Tell All (2019)
The silences were as creepy as the perjury. The individuals allowed the worst to happen to them because they misconstrued social media's message of full acceptance. When danger is involved, you allow mental clarity to check in not ask it to make you blind. It was an unintentional Halloween special that intrigued and horrified with no special thought. We yelled at the screen but they didn't listen. Everyone knows that Cinderella marrying Shrek is bad. 21-Oct-2019
Umbrella Academy, The (2019-)
The giant impresses but all the puzzle pieces are so scattered that my brain creases trying to put them together. 02-May-2019