Health/Food Posts Tagged as 'Exploration'
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No Gifts, Please!
Am I a jerk to boycott presents at kid birthday parties?
Our 5-year-old daughter gets invited to so many birthday parties. It started out as just good friends, but now in pre-K, she’s invited to all of her classmates’ parties.
Over the past few years, we’ve gone through some financial struggles and also receive too much stuff from family, so I made a rule to not give (or ask for) gifts. For birthdays, we host big parties because they’re fun, but we always explicitly request no presents. This year, we had some new attendees (classmates) whose parents we had never met and insisted on bringing something. One mom pushed for things my daughter likes, so I suggested art supplies (crayons are cheap! We’ll use them!). Instead she came with what looked like $25-plus worth of gifts!
Recently I attended a friend’s son’s party and, per my rule, didn’t bring a gift. The birthday boy asked, “Where’s the gift you brought?” and I said, “Well, we didn’t bring one.” He asked why not. I felt like such a jerk—I don’t want to have a threshold of how well we know a kid to get them a gift, and I don’t want to give everyone terrible, cheapie gifts (they should be thoughtful if anything!). I don’t have the time or money to be giving gifts to all kids! Am I being a jerk for not bringing gifts at all? Is a handmade card enough?
—We All Have Enough Crap
What Happens When Your Sexual Awakening Hits — and You're Already Married
When I told my husband about the time I almost slept with a woman before we met, he got an intrigued look in his eyes, probably imagining threesomes in our future. And sure, we might try that someday — but I'm less interested in whether the possibility turns him on than what it means for me. At 32, with only straight relationship experience and less than a year of marriage under my belt, I've grown resistant to the idea of clinging to a certain sexual identity for the rest of my life. The prospect leaves me with a specific kind of FOMO: a fear of missing out on the sex I haven’t had, but might still want to. Though my husband and I are currently happy in our hetero, monogamous marriage, how could we know if that format will continue to meet our needs for the next several decades? (It seems presumptuous to pretend to know what my vagina will want at, say, age 64.)
I’m part of a wave of women seeing their sexuality through a new lens, one that renders it increasingly fluid and shame-free as we shed culturally imposed roles and explore new kinks and curiosities. But what if you’re already married when you do that internal accounting? Rather than begrudgingly accept a limited sex life as a condition of long-term partnership, a rising number of women are acting on a feeling of FOMO about sexual experiences we might not have had before (or after) marriage.