Wisps Posts Tagged as 'Women In Charge'
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My mother schooled me so forcefully about trans people that for a minute, I became a Republican. Wow, the legendary fagbasher learned all the LGBTQ pronouns. My mother can accept all the letters of the gay alphabet as long as they're not closely related to her. Thank God, I was only one letter.
Mother: a man can never love a man the way a man loves a woman. It's not possible. 16-Apr-2021
My amazon primate (my mother) didn't allow masturbation in the house. "It's unclean." It's why no internet, computer or any other hostile sex conducting tech ever made it to our house or our poor stepfather. If I were Spider-Man it would take her two weeks to find out, she would destroy all my tech, burn the costume in front of me and marry Jonah Jameson.
Mother: there is no need for men to masturbate. That's what women are for. 15-Apr-2021
I was under 25 living a fantasy gay lifestyle with my perfect partner in Brooklyn. I lived 20 blocks from my mother and my newly appointed stepfather. It was like living in a colorized version of "I Love Lucy." Yes, I was as corny as all of you once.
Mother calls hysterical. We had to come over. We were just there. What happened?
Rewind: my stepfather wanted to be more seductive for my mother so he called us for advice. My Russian advised him to get her flowers, lay them out, get a thong and strip for her. I agreed it might be fun for her. It was all the craze and my stepdad had the body.
FF: a family dinner was the event where he decided to put sexy daddy in motion. I was flabbergasted but I didn't want to embarrass him and or hear the wrath of mom. I watched as he stripped to a thong and ran her out into the kitchen. He automatically proceeded to dance and strip for my lover and I. Dude, my lover was getting into it. I slithered into the kitchen before my stepdaddy lap dance, checked on mom and she was furious. "That fuckin' maricon." Men don't do that shit. I'm humiliated. I apologized and told her it was my fault and that I thought it would be cute. I didn't know he was going to take it so seriously. She softened, laughed and whispered that "he used to be a bouncer at gay clubs. That's where he learnt the moves. (I didn't know bouncers had to bounce.) He says he never did anyone there but after today I'm not so sure." My mother accepted it as a joke, stepfather got dressed, we ate hardy, laughed ridiculously and went home.
Mother: Something's wrong with your stepfather, he's beating himself up,"como un loco." I think it's an army thing.
I was what? I returned to mother's and he was indeed beating himself to a pulp. He was punching himself and body slamming his head against the walls. We restrained my bloody step and stored him in a room away from my mother.
Step: your mother... (he couldn't speak)
Me: why were you punching yourself dad?
Step: (crying) because she pushed all my buttons and I wanted to hit her. I made a promise to myself that I would never hit another woman, ever, so instead of punching her, I punched myself.
Mother: pendejo. He really is an idiot isn't he? (She laughs. Ok. I laughed too.) I would rather he hit me and prove that he's a man instead of acting like this. (More laughter.) Your father knew how to corral a woman. I liked that. That's the kind of man I want. Not this. You have some of that too. (Ha!)
I asked he if she got off on it and she said yes. Out of the blue...she admits Osama Bin Laden gave her wet dreams. "There is something about that man. Don't you think?" (I was speechless. Why is she telling me this shit?)
I've taken her to countless hospitals with boyfriend injuries and interceded physically to save her life and she gets off on it? The hurt, the police, the pity, the crying, the worry, the danger, the attention, the fraud, the violence all for a tickle? 05-Mar-2021
My sister is a teacher of wee ones. 01-Jan-2021
My sister noticed her son's 2 year old daughter has behavioral superpowers so I asked how she was going to help her son resolve it. She was surprised. Resolve it? No, that's his problem. Let him find out for himself. I'm just grandma now. I enjoy them, it keeps me relevant and aren't they the cutest things? (They are but that's not the point.) Besides, by the time he notices, it'll be too late for him to ask for advice. He'll also understand the experience of being a real parent. I said, "don't you want to give him a chance?" (He is one of her favorites.) The answer was no, no one helped her. 31-Dec-2020
I was dreading the call after the whitewashing incident but every Holiday must be observed and I must answer when mother calls. It started with a celebration of how she diagnosed my stepfather's stroke two days ago. The doctor confirmed it today. "I can diagnose shit right away," she brags. Obviously, not in enough time to call the ambulance when he was skidding all over the kitchen. We hit Corona next. Did she hear that Florida was having a surge? No, she did not but she saw wild parties on the news that disturbed her. Because mama had surgery and stepdad just stroked I recommended social distancing for a while. "For how long?" As long as it takes, mother. "Well, I can't live like that... in a cage. Besides, that only happens if you have 200-300 guests." True but every family member has a different job, with opposing safety methods, families with other families and friends with other friends and jobs and children. It's not safe. "I'm not living in fear!" "It's for your grandchildren's protection too," I said. Don't you care about them?" Nope, God will watch over us. We've done fine until now." I said luck runs out. Voices reached Mariah pitch, feelings were unraveled and hate was all that remained. I reiterated the white boy assumption and she claimed she never said it but confirmed I was not black. She chose a random green color to describe me. Kermit? I told her she was ashamed of marrying a Black Puerto Rican and she hyperventilated the pointy part of the island flag into my brain. We weren't listening anymore, just yelling at each other like the neighbors from "Network." She told me I didn't have a heart. I only had heart for the dicks that kidnapped and raped me. I told her its because my family sucked. " I bet you never fought them like you're fighting me!" I got the life I deserved because I never followed her advice. "But I did!"Her life was my education and downfall. (Hurt emoji) 01-Jan-2021
One of the most mystifying gifts my mother laid on me this year is for me to stop pretending to be black and just be white. She's never seen me as anything but, so it is so. Racism doesn't apply to me because she's always seen me as white. LOL. It was said in an advisory tone to offset future guilt. Head explosion. If I went outside right now and declared I was white they would shoot me. I'm not black because my hair don't kink, she says. (2 blunts.) My nephews and nieces are black because their fathers and mothers are really black. There are no black people in Puerto Rico. They're Indian. Body collapse. 25-Dec-2020
Mother's stratagem to keep a working daddy closer is to never let him know he was doing a banging good job. "Make them sweat, make them wonder but if you want to keep 'em don't ever tell them how great they are." I got it. The more a man thinks he's great the more chances of fulfilling the crippling desire to open other people's presents. Irk that one good spot left in his brain and he'll keep coming back around to try to figure it out. I can see a woman's idea of entrapment there. It suddenly occurred to me to accidentally apply it to a guy I was dating. He was daddy perfection and ejaculatory squish. After an aerobic session he asked me to concur that is was one of our best. Even though it was, I told him I had better. He topped himself every single time and I always answered the same. Why did I do that? I sadly dumped him because he was a camper. He kept threatening that we couldn't extend our relationship unless I went camping with him. Black daddies and city Puerto Ricans don't do woods. It doesn't make sense. He was one of the greatest but I don't camp.
My step-father must wonder with every dying breath, "why did l try so hard? She was never satisfied." 21-Dec-2020
I shut the fuck up too so I can listen to her. 15-Oct-2020
You bet she did. Thanks, mom. Kisses. 19-Sep-2020
A mother's greatest gift to her child is to shut the fuck up and listen. 13-Sep-2020
Porn and masturbation were two ills that my mother expunged from her household.
When cum commenced squirting from my penis I was as aghast as Carrie when she saw menstruation blood for the first time. I was so concerned that I reluctantly asked my mother for her medical opinion. She had me pull my drawers down, pull it out, hold it while she examined it, kept the answer in her head and slapped me away. "Ah, it's nothing. Leave me alone."
The first time I saw porn was my mother's bedroom dresser drawer, hidden underneath the aroma of the cleanest sheets on the planet. It was 101 ways to please a lover. Every position highlighted with a photograph. That did not look like the abuse sex I was having. It looked beautiful. My mother was a hypocrite.
I was taking a bath one day and I stood up to use the rubber shower hose, cleaning my specials... when mother walked in. "That's never going to happen in my house." A beating with a rubber hose was enacted and I sort of accepted it because even though I didn't masturbate at that time, I knew I had before and she knew it too! It was past due punishment.
Boyfriends were not immune to the rule. My stepfather would set up appointments at the nearest brothel just in case my mother got sick (on her period.) He "too" did not believe in jerking off. I knew this because I had to interfere when sex workers started calling my mother for payment. Of course, they're still together.
"I aways feel guilty after I come." 18-Jul-2020