TV Posts Tagged as 'Static'
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Family Karma (2020-)
They are just like us. They shove success in our faces, the women are in a vendetta to exploit "the man" and secrete his juices and all the men have gay flair. A macho verdict gets upset because his gay bestie is spreading rumors that he's sucked over a 100 cocks. The gay apologized only for saying it. Wink, wink. They pray to give thanks for the riches this country affords them as their country dies. Is that the karma? 03-Jun-2021
Nasim Pedrad plays a fourteen year old boy with cosmetic enhancements, a balding auntie wig that isn't glued to her neck and the swag of a girl whose sure she's going to get an "A" in drama. Her statement is overshadowed by how she feels about boys. She adds confusion to the sexual revolution. Had Pedrad cast a boy of her own heritage to be an example of how she wants her future to look like, she might have created some sweet art. 21-Apr-2021
Dad, You're Embarrassing Me! (2021-)
Dad encourages daughter by pervading her life. Jamie Foxx' craft rolls like dice. He can be brilliant when he is focused and parented but left on his own his goofball can turn insufferable. He's fit, old fashioned beyond his years, paints side characters with no cracks or chips and no revelry and allows tight jeans with a mighty bulge to outshine him. He never embarrasses his daughter like the title says. He kept the bulge intimate. It's not the 80s. They missed out on comedic reactions from anyone besides his daughter. Please. The support is ready to do something. Only good writing can give it to them. Foxx is embarrassing his daughter by not gifting her a better show. I don't recognize any souls in this family. 19-Apr-2021
Call Me Kat (2021-)
You know what? Kat is growing on me. She hasn't released her Big Bang rigidity but busting out some Blossom on shrooms sort of moves would make the character a classic. Miranda couldn't give a fuck and neither should Kat. Good luck! 27-Mar-2021
Mayim Bialik presumes she's as adorable as her childhood character, Blossom. She's not. The support represents everything that she has publicly denounced so it's uncomfortable watching them glorify her when she'd rather talk to the camera than interact with them. Leslie Jordan deserves better, Swoozie Kurtz might as well retire and Cheyenne Jackson has swallowed way too many dicks to be considered a straight romantic lead. 23-Jan-2021
Garbage that falls to earth from space causing peculiarities in the environment and people. The sap is so gooey it won't allow the drama to unfold. Every ten or fifteen minutes it's asking for tears or sympathy. That's too much. Why does the investigator supply such definite answers? Can't we take a gander at it and they write it in naturally, later? Not even daddy perk butt can seduce me to stay. 08-Mar-2021
I perceive things the way they might be viewed in the future. It's not good stand-alone art unless you're a historian. The finale perpetuated no grand slam due to identical hero/villain strikes. Hulk didn't show up to break the barrier down and Kathryn Hahn is the professional you hire when Idina Menzel's understudy gets sick. It was grand showboating without the Disney magic. If Idina had sung Wanda out of the stratosphere, it would have been brilliant. I was so sick of her. 05-Mar-2021
It's a brilliant idea that doesn't understand what a classic sitcom is. Hidden treasures abound if we do our homework and expand our flight experience. Why? I just want to be entertained. Show us. When did Elizabeth Olson take up blinking? That is an actor's death knell. Stop blinking! What I'm watching is a disappointment and an excuse to tease us to watch something that gives nothing but clues. 18-Jan-2021
Victim of Beauty (1991)
Beauty contestant provokes the kidnapping of her baby sister. Sheriff is in town gunning to bring the monster to justice. He fails as many times as he provokes. Jeri Ryan embodied that special something that makes us scream "how can so many awful things happen to this dear child?" Because it's all true! There are surprises and plotholes but mostly there's Devane's gorgeous ape face and a goddess in disguise (Ryan) burning rubber. The crime investigation sucked. 31-Jan-2021
Call Your Mother (2021-)
There is no reason to call her because she is the primary that needs parenting. Mother can make a dirty cheese muffin, attention grab the hell out of parental privilege and retract the independence from her children. A sexless black gay token is hired to fawn over white mama madness and the other is relegated to immobile chat calls as mama's bestie. The younglings have no idea how to create a spark and the son should have been gay. What's a crappy mother without a gay son? Boring. 21-Jan-2021
United We Fall (2020-)
Bland parental failure without boundaries. Do whatever doesn't disappoint most of the members and move on. It isn't that funny. There are no consequences or punishments. They fail and move on. 20-Jan-2021
Happiest Season (2020)
Lesbian with bad wig exploits girlfriend with bad dye job by coercing her to celebrate the holidays with her cult (family.) In-laws suck no matter how much they pretend to adapt and because that sinking feeling we get when you first meet is the truest. I thought that being loud and proud would supply Kristen Stewart with a personality but she remains dry ice. Maybe she's the wrong sex. I don't know where she was but she wasn't here. Dan Levy proves why I won't watch his Creek's shit. Just because the character is useless doesn't mean you can't steal it. I would have sexually cheated my way out of there and said fuck you to Whoville pudding.
(Oh, Oh. I don't mean to bring this up but it does end with lesbian violence. No fucking kidding. They knock down a Christmas tree and everything.) 20-Dec-2020
Love Island (2019-)
S2E32. Women are no longer viable as sexual beings so I'm doing a gay male review. Johnny is the gorgeous god you play with but don't mess with. Carrington is the luscious top boy whose ass you have to taste. You're hooking up with Caleb even though your instincts are crushing you because his game is really really good and Calvin looks like the cousin that introduced me to naughty sex. 16-Oct-2020
Something's missing. Is it the "I kin kill a beah and cook it for ya" supervisor with capabilities accent or the females slightly squeakier version of it? Americans don't care. They rather complain about Cuties than judge the real culprit...themselves. There's "yeah, you're cute poor," "waving anatomy parts freely on a farm, dirt poor," "just fucking desperate and will fuck for a Walmart gift card piss ass poor." (Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you meant gif.) 20-Sep-2020
I love "Casa de Amor," wherein sexual workers extract the soul of a man through penile engrossment. 16-Sep-2020
The police sirens add amateur porn reality. 09-Sep-2020
The UK version redeemed its relevance. Horny younglings released from quarantine onto a desert mirage of true love. Fuck the boys and do not marry the girls. 08-Sep-2020
Finale. My manhood has been restored. I felt absolutely nothing. 13-Aug-2019
Toxic playpen wherein a woman's suffering and desperation is a man's empowerment. 01-Aug-2019
Camp Getaway (2020-)
It needs a serial killer. 13-May-2020
Normal People (2020-)
I quit after two episodes for its robotic love story and for making a half, feel like a full hour. If its purpose is to instruct us on how to navigate teen angst, sex and love, I can't empathize. By twelve, I and most of my brethren were already bona fide sluts (thanks, daddies) and my input wasn't necessary. It reeks of social parenting, enforcement and naive privilege. The writers believe that if you preach hard enough, it will spill into reality. Daisy Edgar-Jones is neither ugly, weirdly or enticing enough to elaborate on an inconsistent sketch of a girl who is written to be all of those things. It's hypocritical. Paul Mescal is wasting his beautiful ass, nobody else matters and nothing happens. 05-May-2020
Hollywood magic starts in bed.
A propaganda film correcting past inequalities by imposing modern thoughts and politics into the mouth of history.
It preaches incessantly because we can no longer be inspired by people's lives as they lived it but how we now prefer it. (Good change comes when we learn from past mistakes, not when we erase them.)
Diversity exists as a pulpit, never integrating or understanding their purpose. Brother and sister needed to bring the humility, homework and incandescence that would compel us to believe they deserve the success they aspire to. Ms. Wong (Michelle Krusiec) completed her homework.
Rock Hudson, Vivien Leigh and Tallulah Bankhead portrayals. The ginormity of man beauty that was the Rock, is diminished when his facsimile stands shoulder to shoulder with Mira Sorvino and when he portrays him like a dork. Vivien was a cartoon transformer shifting from beauty to accent in a manic state. She needed to be all of it. Tallulah is actually very simple to study. You watch her one hour episode of I Love Lucy and follow it up with Bette Davis in All About Eve, legitimizing her. Too busy, huh?
The film within a film seemed abysmal.
I found it offensive that a black woman was portraying a white woman's life. It's like a man portraying a trans.
Free rein to rearrange is exciting only if it follows the rules of its generation. 03-May-2020
Tiger King (2020-)
S1E3. I'm neither addicted, intrigued, impressed, or willing to give a shit. 01-Apr-2020
I tuned in out of curiosity and to give its subject, the benefit of the doubt. I wasn't raised in an environment where I thought hooligans were cute and my idea of celebrating such buffoonery leaves me speechless. Not one soul appears to have one and the glorification of fake swagger has me flatlining. I don't believe in fucking with mother nature or God's fucking plan and I don't believe in making a profit from exploiting it.
(If I change my mind I'll expose myself again.) 01-Apr-2020