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TV Posts Tagged as 'Static'

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Debris (2021-) Whimper

Garbage that falls to earth from space causing peculiarities in the environment and people. The sap is so gooey it won't allow the drama to unfold. Every ten or fifteen minutes it's asking for tears or sympathy. That's too much. Why does the investigator supply such definite answers? Can't we take a gander at it and they write it in naturally, later? Not even daddy perk butt can seduce me to stay. 08-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Fatigue, Grating, Hot Swatch, Pitchy, Sap, Sci-Fi, Static, Timid, Weird

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08-Mar-2021


Victim of Beauty (1991) Arf

Beauty contestant provokes the kidnapping of her baby sister. Sheriff is in town gunning to bring the monster to justice. He fails as many times as he provokes. Jeri Ryan embodied that special something that makes us scream "how can so many awful things happen to this dear child?" Because it's all true! There are surprises and plotholes but mostly there's Devane's gorgeous ape face and a goddess in disguise (Ryan) burning rubber. The crime investigation sucked. 31-Jan-2021

Tags: 1990s, Chemistry, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Movie, Mystery, Sentimental, Static, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ Basic, Writ w/Possibilities

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31-Jan-2021


Call Me Kat (2021-) Bites

Mayim Bialik presumes she's as adorable as her childhood character, Blossom. She's not. The support represents everything that she has publicly denounced so it's uncomfortable watching them glorify her when she'd rather talk to the camera than interact with them. Leslie Jordan deserves better, Swoozie Kurtz might as well retire and Cheyenne Jackson has swallowed way too many dicks to be considered a straight romantic lead. 23-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Comedy, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Insulting, Juvenile, Relationships, Silly, Star Watt, Static, Tacky, Unfunny

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23-Jan-2021


Call Your Mother (2021-) Whimper

There is no reason to call her because she is the primary that needs parenting. Mother can make a dirty cheese muffin, attention grab the hell out of parental privilege and retract the independence from her children. A sexless black gay token is hired to fawn over white mama madness and the other is relegated to immobile chat calls as mama's bestie. The younglings have no idea how to create a spark and the son should have been gay. What's a crappy mother without a gay son? Boring. 21-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Cliche, Comedy, Cultural, Gay Swatch, Juvenile, Manipulation, No Chemistry, Out of Place, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Preachy, Predictable, Relationships, Repetitive, Silly, Star Watt, Static, Tired, Writ Basic

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21-Jan-2021


United We Fall (2020-) Whimper

Bland parental failure without boundaries. Do whatever doesn't disappoint most of the members and move on. It isn't that funny. There are no consequences or punishments. They fail and move on. 20-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comedy, Emasculating, Fatigue, Hyper, No Chemistry, Shrill Act, Star Watt, Static, Tacky, Weird, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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20-Jan-2021


Happiest Season (2020) Whimper

Lesbian with bad wig exploits girlfriend with bad dye job by coercing her to celebrate the holidays with her cult (family.) In-laws suck no matter how much they pretend to adapt and because that sinking feeling we get when you first meet is the truest. I thought that being loud and proud would supply Kristen Stewart with a personality but she remains dry ice. Maybe she's the wrong sex. I don't know where she was but she wasn't here. Dan Levy proves why I won't watch his Creek's shit. Just because the character is useless doesn't mean you can't steal it. I would have sexually cheated my way out of there and said fuck you to Whoville pudding.

(Oh, Oh. I don't mean to bring this up but it does end with lesbian violence. No fucking kidding. They knock down a Christmas tree and everything.) 20-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Cliche, Corn, Drag, Drama, Gay, Grating, Maddening, Manipulation, No Chemistry, Preachy, Relationships, Silly, Star Watt, Static, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid

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20-Dec-2020


Love Island (2019-) Bites

S2E32. Women are no longer viable as sexual beings so I'm doing a gay male review. Johnny is the gorgeous god you play with but don't mess with. Carrington is the luscious top boy whose ass you have to taste. You're hooking up with Caleb even though your instincts are crushing you because his game is really really good and Calvin looks like the cousin that introduced me to naughty sex. 16-Oct-2020
Something's missing. Is it the "I kin kill a beah and cook it for ya" supervisor with capabilities accent or the females slightly squeakier version of it? Americans don't care. They rather complain about Cuties than judge the real culprit...themselves. There's "yeah, you're cute poor," "waving anatomy parts freely on a farm, dirt poor," "just fucking desperate and will fuck for a Walmart gift card piss ass poor." (Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you meant gif.) 20-Sep-2020
I love "Casa de Amor," wherein sexual workers extract the soul of a man through penile engrossment. 16-Sep-2020
The police sirens add amateur porn reality. 09-Sep-2020
The UK version redeemed its relevance. Horny younglings released from quarantine onto a desert mirage of true love. Fuck the boys and do not marry the girls. 08-Sep-2020
Finale. My manhood has been restored. I felt absolutely nothing. 13-Aug-2019
Toxic playpen wherein a woman's suffering and desperation is a man's empowerment. 01-Aug-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accident Watch, Best In Horror, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Juvenile, Predictable, Reality, Repetitive, Sexist, Static, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Tired

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16-Oct-2020


Camp Getaway (2020-) No MoonsEarly Exit

It needs a serial killer. 13-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Discomfort, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Grating, Insulting, Juvenile, Out of Place, Reality, Relationships, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Static, Tacky, Warbly

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13-May-2020


Normal People (2020-) BitesEarly Exit

I quit after two episodes for its robotic love story and for making a half, feel like a full hour. If its purpose is to instruct us on how to navigate teen angst, sex and love, I can't empathize. By twelve, I and most of my brethren were already bona fide sluts (thanks, daddies) and my input wasn't necessary. It reeks of social parenting, enforcement and naive privilege. The writers believe that if you preach hard enough, it will spill into reality. Daisy Edgar-Jones is neither ugly, weirdly or enticing enough to elaborate on an inconsistent sketch of a girl who is written to be all of those things. It's hypocritical. Paul Mescal is wasting his beautiful ass, nobody else matters and nothing happens. 05-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Cliche, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Out of Place, Preachy, Relationships, Squish Alert, Static, Talk, Tedium, Timid, Tired, Warbly, Weird

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05-May-2020


Hollywood (2020-) Whimper

Hollywood magic starts in bed.

A propaganda film correcting past inequalities by imposing modern thoughts and politics into the mouth of history.

It preaches incessantly because we can no longer be inspired by people's lives as they lived it but how we now prefer it. (Good change comes when we learn from past mistakes, not when we erase them.)

Diversity exists as a pulpit, never integrating or understanding their purpose. Brother and sister needed to bring the humility, homework and incandescence that would compel us to believe they deserve the success they aspire to. Ms. Wong (Michelle Krusiec) completed her homework.

Rock Hudson, Vivien Leigh and Tallulah Bankhead portrayals. The ginormity of man beauty that was the Rock, is diminished when his facsimile stands shoulder to shoulder with Mira Sorvino and when he portrays him like a dork. Vivien was a cartoon transformer shifting from beauty to accent in a manic state. She needed to be all of it. Tallulah is actually very simple to study. You watch her one hour episode of I Love Lucy and follow it up with Bette Davis in All About Eve, legitimizing her. Too busy, huh?

The film within a film seemed abysmal.

I found it offensive that a black woman was portraying a white woman's life. It's like a man portraying a trans.

Free rein to rearrange is exciting only if it follows the rules of its generation. 03-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Camp, Cliche, Discomfort, Drama, Fatigue, Gay, History, Insulting, Manipulation, Out of Place, Over the Top, Overcooked, Political, Repetitive, Sap, Star Watt, Static, Talk, Tedium, Timid, Tired, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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03-May-2020


Tiger King (2020-) BitesEarly Exit

S1E3. I'm neither addicted, intrigued, impressed, or willing to give a shit. 01-Apr-2020
I tuned in out of curiosity and to give its subject, the benefit of the doubt. I wasn't raised in an environment where I thought hooligans were cute and my idea of celebrating such buffoonery leaves me speechless. Not one soul appears to have one and the glorification of fake swagger has me flatlining. I don't believe in fucking with mother nature or God's fucking plan and I don't believe in making a profit from exploiting it.

(If I change my mind I'll expose myself again.) 01-Apr-2020

Tags: Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Doc, Drag, Drama, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Fatigue, Gay, Horror, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Showy, Shrill Act, Static, Tacky, Tired, Warbly

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01-Apr-2020


Raising Dion (2019-) ArfUpgradeWoof

I delighted in Jason Ritter finally putting those asshole tics to use but the upgrade was for mama. No superhero is flying around her house until she says so! 22-Nov-2019
When mama discusses the mental incarceration of racism to a son that's becoming physically stronger, my negative comments became obliterated. The writers ventured to give us a modern mama willing to be sensitively honest with her child and equip him for life's challenges. Respect. 20-Oct-2019
A subject worth exploring in a culture historically evaded. It moves better when it tightens the reins but it's self awareness, interspersed soundtrack along with sprinkles of bleeding sap, drain it. 18-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Almost, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Drama, Juvenile, Overcooked, Representing, Sap, Static, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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22-Nov-2019


Velvet Buzzsaw (2019) Whimper

An expose of the art world with a horror addendum. It spends too much time characterizing a patronizing society and very little imagination bringing the art and kills to life. Jake wraps his character in queer banality and sexual confusion like the problematic characters of yore (Jodie Dallas from Soap and Steven Carrington from Dynasty.) I'm starting to believe he actually may be straight. 20-Nov-2019

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Maddening, Mean Spirited, Overcooked, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Static, Tedium, Timid, Tired, Weird, Wit Crack

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20-Nov-2019


Emmy Awards (2019) Whimper

I tuned in as radio while I prepared dinner. I missed the first hour because there was important wine to drink but I tuned at the beginning of the second. Almost everything I hated won. Hollywood creates realistic art but has trouble appearing realistic. Billy added flair and Halsey held my attention, everything else was soap. We need to be convinced that human representation isn't a part-time job. Being politically correct has made everyone boring. The host wasn't the problem. 22-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Awards, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Celebrity, Fantasy, Fatigue, Incomprehensible, Nostalgic, Overcooked, Political, Predictable, Repetitive, Sentimental, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Static, Tacky, Talk, Tedium, Timid, Tired, Unfunny, Weird

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22-Sep-2019


Schitt's Creek (2015-) No Moons

Histrionic and unfledged bullshit. 02-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accident Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comedy, Disappointment, Eye Gouge, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Mean Spirited, Overcooked, Predictable, Shrill Act, Silly, Static, Tacky, Talk, Tired, Unfunny, Weird, Wit Crack

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02-Sep-2019