Movies Posts Tagged as 'Director Slouch'
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They Come Knocking (2019)
Hot daddy raggedy, teen elder daughter crab apple and future "Karen" darling road it it to dead children county to distribute mama's ashes. You know the movie is not destined for greatness when the cliche effect of children's whispers is heard. The children creep a little but there are no sensible rules chaining the scares together. It's horror schmaltz. 11-Jul-2020
Eurovision Song Contest (2020)
Brother/sister romance tackle art and temptation at a song contest.
Will Ferrell's character's age kept gnawing at me. How old is he supposed to be? How old is his sister? His father? Ferrell plays the eternal kid that refuses to wear big boy britches even for comfort. Ours.
Rachel McAdams deserved a singing partner.
Dan Stevens left it at the Abbey. He should go pick it up.
I knew it was Demi Lovato before I saw her. It was the screaming.
The music is way too silly to enjoy, coming in constant waves of annoyance. I don't care what the rules are, sing it live. Too much? 01-Jul-2020
Jaws 3 (1983)
The fun stops here. 22-Jun-2020
Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)
Star Wars is one of the most challenging series to keep alive. Each post iteration appearing shiny and new with ardent fandom, bounteous clamor and no history or relevance to match any of the original three. They are only embers of the force.
JJ dropped the soap. Politics clenched the dynamic and criticism quelled his enthusiasm. He did not lend his panoramic to anything past what we would see in a video game.
It spent too much time preaching the force and little time explaining anything else.
Kylo Ren worked better with his mask on. (He was more intimidating.)
Zori Bliss would have worked better with her mask off.
Lando and the phantasms of veteran greats brought the force but the new power was missing a united purpose that would compel them to overcome the awkwardness. You can't expect much from an actor whose belly is full.
Everything old as new is delight, everything new and unthought of is bah...everything new and shiny, rusts. 20-Jun-2020
Misunderstanding the mythology of the "pod people" and mishandling how to apply it to this generation. They twinkled it, legitimized it, repeated it and fudged it.
Social Media is our pod and we are its people.
It arrives from a dead planet. An alien-camouflaging organism that can only do so, temporarily with the environment. It needs a human to survive. I know, I know... make Mexicans immune! You want to scare us, don't you? 20-Jun-2020
Goldfinch, The (2019)
Boy suffers the loss of his mom, who dies in an explosion, but gains a piece of priceless art. Sarah Paulson has a moment as a bimbo and Nic adds an elegant presence to an adoptive mom but the characters have no foundation for any actor to stem from. The boy, in particular, acts as the scene needs, not as his character would. Ansel achieves a spark because he's trying to understand it as much as we are. It's a hard sell because the mystery doesn't amount to a life altering choice, it just is. A sweet sentiment with absolutely no sugar. 26-May-2020
It: Chapter Two (2019)
The adult actors cannot fulfill the innocence and vibrance of the youngsters who established it and further diminish the investment in a fretful conclusion. Skarsgard is a sure thing but Muschietti's insistence in piling disconnected scares that belong to a Freddy Krueger franchise, shoves his monster icon status to the shadows. The mumbo was a jumble, the Spielberg didn't fit and the sap broke the vine. 23-Apr-2020
Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)
It looks like the same level to me. There is a wisp of outrageous hilarity that ensues when we first hear Dwayne and Kevin attempt new accents, but it vanishes as soon as you sober up. There is only so much failure you can laugh at. I sat down in my boxers to get actioned up and ended up with shredded panties. There was so much sap that the pancakes runneth over. 15-Apr-2020
Midnight Movie: The Killer Cut (2008)
In order for a viewer to digest mumbo jumbo we need to be privy to the rules. The film concocts it and we decide if it is within the realm of possibility so we can view the art piece with tolerance. No rules were established and the filmmaker refused to reserve a coherent explanation. It was remastered to look sharper but not sound brighter. 03-Feb-2020
X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019)
McAvoy added a comedian's twirl at the tip of his Xavier accent and Lawrence appears like she's having facials with strangers. Little effort is evident by a cast of talented people. It saps and cheers for itself and it talks too much.
If the film had impressed the combustion that Fassbender and Chastain were percolating, the makers would had made a winner. 24-Nov-2019
It thought Three Stooges hilarity could save it. Helen Slater, her costume and her hair legitimizes it and Bochner doesn't hurt but everything else is bargain basement. I quit it because I didn't feel like falling asleep for a third time. Nobody cared. 12-Oct-2019
Mary Poppins Returns (2018)
I had to quit. Just when I was getting accustomed to the hyper tension, they sang. 25-Sep-2019