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All Posts Tagged as 'Scare Obvious'

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Wolves At The Door (2016) Whimper

The desecration of humanity is unforgiving. In order to conceptualize fact based savagery onto film you have to be a little nuts. The film goes where Tarantino's wouldn't and exploits it. It doesn't feel like the 60s, the ladies never heard of the 60s, the boys are drunks, stoners and stoopids and the killers remained shadowed like Halloween supervillains. Giving an evil character personality does not grant them humanity. It gives us a clue who to run away from. Make it up and make it real. I was a fan of Sharon Tate and I felt her tragedy. When I read "that" book, I experienced haunts and nightmares, forever. How could people be so inhumane? If the writer brings up the question, he and the director need to answer it. If you're going to make it, let your balls hang real low so the audience can cut them. The crew has regular mental health issues but no psychosis or artistry. It's Lifetime violence with '40s flair. The opener sizzled only because nobody makes Miss Jane look stoopid. 19-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Cold, Director Slouch, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Horror, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Silly, Tacky, Timid

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

19-Sep-2020


Ladda Land (2011) Arf

Family moves into a haunted bargain suburb. I would keep the family charm and dump the frightless horror. 20-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Drama, False Action, Foreign, Horror, Preposterous, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Timid, Touching, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

20-Aug-2020


Stephanie (2017) Whimper

Stephanie is the child that's always in your face that you ignore. Her parents abandoned her to live in isolation during an unknown pandemic and to deal with a monster roaming about. Daddy Frank Grillo and mama Anna Torv were defined as shitty parents so everything they did was spotty and disenfranchised. Shree Crooks discharged unsettling reality to her child. The twist curls into a pretzel, a bone breaking finale poured some salt on it but the whole was artificial cheese dip. 13-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Grating, Horror, Manipulation, Mystery, Repetitive, Scare Obvious, SciFi, Star Watt, Timid, Twinkie, Twisty, Vague, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

13-Aug-2020


They Come Knocking (2019) Whimper

Hot daddy raggedy, teen elder daughter crab apple and future "Karen" darling road it it to dead children county to distribute mama's ashes. You know the movie is not destined for greatness when the cliche effect of children's whispers is heard. The children creep a little but there are no sensible rules chaining the scares together. It's horror schmaltz. 11-Jul-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Drama, Horror, Indecipherable, Manipulation, Relationships, Sap, Scare Obvious, Silly, Timid, Unenthusiastic

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

11-Jul-2020


Jaws 3 (1983) Bites

The fun stops here. 22-Jun-2020

Tags: 1980s, Action, Art Devoid, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Eye Gouge, Fantasy, Horror, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sad Effects, Scare Obvious, Sequel, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Wit Crack

Filed under: Movies

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22-Jun-2020


It: Chapter Two (2019) Whimper

The adult actors cannot fulfill the innocence and vibrance of the youngsters who established it. They diminish the investment in a fretful conclusion. Skarsgard is a sure thing but Muschietti's insistence in piling disconnected scares that belong to a Freddy Krueger franchise sequel, shoves his monster icon status to the shadows. The mumbo was a jumble, the Spielberg didn't fit and the sap broke the vine. 23-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, By the Numbers, Daddy Squish, Decent FX, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sap, Scare Obvious, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Too Long, Vague

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

23-Apr-2020


Curse Of La Llorona, The (2019) Whimper

The way my mother told it, she was a parent wronged and punished to death for the unproven murder of her children. Drowned in chains, her spirit would periodically roam the streets searching and screaming in agony for her children. The only way to avoid her was to go to sleep at an allotted time, else she take you if awake. It was a technique to get kids to go to bed early.

The kids react well but the jumps aren't supportive. The mumbo jumbo doesn't help. It has ideas that are badly executed. The umbrella trick was its best. A daddy priest husk never hurts but the horror never fucked with my head. 15-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Chemistry, Cold, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Disappointment, Drama, Horror, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Revenge, Scare Obvious, Stupid Funny, Timid

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

15-Apr-2020


Dark Light (2019) Whimper

It aspires to scare us but the threat is a flash bulb. 11-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, By the Numbers, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Macho Posing, Preposterous, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Weird

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

11-Apr-2020


Grudge, The (2020) Arf

It upholds and sometimes surpasses but the ghosts don't terrify like the story and its players are intimating. 10-Apr-2020

Tags: 2020s, Action, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Political Satire, Scare Obvious, Scary, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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10-Apr-2020


Apostle (2018) Whimper

Infiltrating a religious sect to save a sibling. The premise barely sustains itself and Dan Stevens' idea of macho heroism is to grunt like a gorilla and squawk like a duck. He is so inspired to erase his Downton starter that what he erects is stiff overcompensation. The only thing the film gets right is torture and a weirdly coincidental female tree. 11-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Cultish, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Gory, Macho Posing, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Political Satire, Porn Violence, Preposterous, Revenge, Scare Obvious, Star Watt, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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11-Mar-2020


Isle, The (2018) Arf

A spanking ghost story with no presence and sensuality to back it up. 20-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Drama, Mystery, Sad Effects, Scare Obvious, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

20-Feb-2020


Selfie From Hell (2018) Bites

I would have jumped, had reason backed it up. 13-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Creepy, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Political, Preposterous, Scare Obvious, Silly, Tedium, Timid

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

13-Feb-2020


Midnight Movie: The Killer Cut (2008) Whimper

In order for a viewer to digest mumbo jumbo we need to be privy to the rules. The film concocts it and we decide if it is within the realm of possibility so we can view the art piece with tolerance. No rules were established and the filmmaker refused to reserve a coherent explanation. It was remastered to look sharper but not sound brighter. 03-Feb-2020

Tags: 2000s, 2020s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Camp, Corn, Director Slouch, Fatigue, Indecipherable, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Timid, Vague, Weird

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

03-Feb-2020


Heartthrob (2017) Whimper

Boy's mental health shatters when he discovers that his girl hiccups for all the boys. Keir Gilchrist was prepared to inhabit what Tony Perkins stamped but the writers were too intent on keeping it romantic. 29-Nov-2019

Tags: 2010s, Daddy Squish, Drama, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Predictable, Pretty, Revenge, Romance, Scare Obvious, Suspense, Timid, Twinkie, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

29-Nov-2019


Child's Play (2019) Whimper

Entertainment value is slaughtered by a stupid looking doll. 14-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Brutal, Camp, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Scare Obvious, Tacky, Weird

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

14-Oct-2019




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