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All Posts Tagged as 'Scare Obvious'

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Ten Little Indians (1965) Arf

10 influencers are united in a snow piled chateau. The invite comes from a madman that wants to cancel them. The mystery's psychological reasoning is based on a demented individual's power grab to replace God and punish the unrighteous. But, they're so pretty and knowledgeable. Fabian smears his loveliness on the lens but is too uptight to relax and be cool. Daliah Lavi's exaggerated mane turned her into a cold stereotypical Hollywood starlet. Hugh O'Brian looked even better with his shirt off. Marianne Hoppe seemed hopped on something as the scared German maid. Was she supposed to be ridiculous? Gay old codgers know everything. It's a cheap attempt to intrigue us with outdated characters from a board game. 10-Jun-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Action, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stink Wigs, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tacky, Timid, Trashy, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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10-Jun-2021


Fantasy Island (2020) Bites

Michael Pena is not a suave sexy latin charmer. I thought he was going to play Tattoo, running around in a baby cart yelling "the plane, the plane." Maggie Q exuded the elegance of a legend but had no chemistry with her token black family. Lucy Hale, sporting a disconcerting schnauzer cut, was too much. It was a total disrespect of a shitty show that entertained. 12-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Dialogue Lament, Director Hands Off Approach, False Action, Fatigue, Grating, Manipulation, Predictable, Preposterous, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Tacky

Filed under: Movies

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12-Jan-2021


Abrams: The Boy 2 (2020) Whimper

The doll has a name but it's still beyond comprehension. The tidbits where they played with the doll's expressions was a cute opportunity that was underutilized. Making it react to things in a split second that no one is sure to see might have been fun. Owain Yeoman is a daddy water marker. Never too busy for work, the center of the universe, incompetent and not understanding of the language his son and especially his mother talks. Katie Holmes' dug sharply to give mom the suffocation of not being able to save her child from trauma and the burden of spending a lifetime treating him for it. She can't overcome her own because the kid is always reminding her of it. He was a witness. The more obsessed her son gets with the doll, the icier her mothering becomes. I wish there were a scene where she pummels it to death but no such luck. The set-up was too set, the 30's mystery cues didn't work and the next one needs to scrub the story clean. 18-Nov-2020

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Mystery, Preposterous, Scare Obvious, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Vague, Weird, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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18-Nov-2020


Wolves At The Door (2016) Whimper

The desecration of humanity is unforgiving. In order to conceptualize fact based savagery onto film you have to be a little nuts. The film goes where Tarantino's wouldn't and exploits it. It doesn't feel like the 60s, the ladies never heard of the 60s, the boys are drunks, stoners and stoopids and the killers remained shadowed like Halloween supervillains. Giving an evil character personality does not grant them humanity. It gives us a clue who to run away from. Make it up and make it real. I was a fan of Sharon Tate and I felt her tragedy. When I read "that" book, I experienced haunts and nightmares, forever. How could people be so inhumane? If the writer brings up the question, he and the director need to answer it. If you're going to make it, let your balls hang real low so the audience can cut them. The crew has regular mental health issues but no psychosis or artistry. It's Lifetime violence with '40s flair. The opener sizzled only because nobody makes Miss Jane look stoopid. 19-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Cold, Director Slouch, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Horror, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Silly, Tacky, Timid

Filed under: Movies

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19-Sep-2020


Ladda Land (2011) Arf

Family moves into a haunted bargain suburb. I would keep the family charm and dump the frightless horror. 20-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Drama, False Action, Foreign, Horror, Preposterous, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Timid, Touching, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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20-Aug-2020


Stephanie (2017) Whimper

Stephanie is the child that's always in your face that you ignore. Her parents abandoned her to live in isolation during an unknown pandemic and to deal with a monster roaming about. Daddy Frank Grillo and mama Anna Torv were defined as shitty parents so everything they did was spotty and disenfranchised. Shree Crooks discharged unsettling reality to her child. The twist curls into a pretzel, a bone breaking finale poured some salt on it but the whole was artificial cheese dip. 13-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Grating, Horror, Manipulation, Mystery, Repetitive, Scare Obvious, SciFi, Star Watt, Timid, Twinkie, Twisty, Vague, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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13-Aug-2020


They Come Knocking (2019) Whimper

Hot daddy raggedy, teen elder daughter crab apple and future "Karen" darling road it it to dead children county to distribute mama's ashes. You know the movie is not destined for greatness when the cliche effect of children's whispers is heard. The children creep a little but there are no sensible rules chaining the scares together. It's horror schmaltz. 11-Jul-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Drama, Horror, Indecipherable, Manipulation, Relationships, Sap, Scare Obvious, Silly, Timid, Unenthusiastic

Filed under: Movies

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11-Jul-2020


Jaws 3 (1983) Bites

The fun stops here. 22-Jun-2020

Tags: 1980s, Action, Art Devoid, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Eye Gouge, Fantasy, Horror, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sad Effects, Scare Obvious, Sequel, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Wit Crack

Filed under: Movies

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22-Jun-2020


It: Chapter Two (2019) Whimper

The adult actors cannot fulfill the innocence and vibrance of the youngsters who established it. They diminish the investment in a fretful conclusion. Skarsgard is a sure thing but Muschietti's insistence in piling disconnected scares that belong to a Freddy Krueger franchise sequel, shoves his monster icon status to the shadows. The mumbo was a jumble, the Spielberg didn't fit and the sap broke the vine. 23-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, By the Numbers, Daddy Squish, Decent FX, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sap, Scare Obvious, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Too Long, Vague

Filed under: Movies

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23-Apr-2020


Curse Of La Llorona, The (2019) Whimper

The way my mother told it, she was a parent wronged and punished to death for the unproven murder of her children. Drowned in chains, her spirit would periodically roam the streets searching and screaming in agony for her children. The only way to avoid her was to go to sleep at an allotted time, else she take you if awake. It was a technique to get kids to go to bed early.

The kids react well but the jumps aren't supportive. The mumbo jumbo doesn't help. It has ideas that are badly executed. The umbrella trick was its best. A daddy priest husk never hurts but the horror never fucked with my head. 15-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Chemistry, Cold, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Disappointment, Drama, Horror, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Revenge, Scare Obvious, Stupid Funny, Timid

Filed under: Movies

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15-Apr-2020


Dark Light (2019) Whimper

It aspires to scare us but the threat is a flash bulb. 11-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, By the Numbers, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Macho Posing, Preposterous, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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11-Apr-2020


Grudge, The (2020) Arf

It upholds and sometimes surpasses but the ghosts don't terrify like the story and its players are intimating. 10-Apr-2020

Tags: 2020s, Action, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Political Satire, Scare Obvious, Scary, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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10-Apr-2020


Apostle (2018) Whimper

Infiltrating a religious sect to save a sibling. The premise barely sustains itself and Dan Stevens' idea of macho heroism is to grunt like a gorilla and squawk like a duck. He is so inspired to erase his Downton starter that what he erects is stiff overcompensation. The only thing the film gets right is torture and a weirdly coincidental female tree. 11-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Cultish, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Gory, Macho Posing, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Political Satire, Porn Violence, Preposterous, Revenge, Scare Obvious, Star Watt, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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11-Mar-2020


Isle, The (2018) Arf

A spanking ghost story with no presence and sensuality to back it up. 20-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Drama, Mystery, Sad Effects, Scare Obvious, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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20-Feb-2020


Selfie From Hell (2018) Bites

I would have jumped, had reason backed it up. 13-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Creepy, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Political, Preposterous, Scare Obvious, Silly, Tedium, Timid

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

13-Feb-2020




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